


Burning Imprints

by Menomegirl



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Adult Content, Alternate Universe, BDSM, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-02-11
Updated: 2010-06-24
Packaged: 2019-02-05 17:52:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 39
Words: 86,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12799329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Menomegirl/pseuds/Menomegirl
Summary: It always starts with a dream or a spell, doesn't it?





	1. Prologue - Debt-Paid In Full

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Haven, the archivist: This story was originally archived at [Fandom Haven Story Archive (FHSA)](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Fandom_Haven_Story_Archive), was scheduled to shut down at the end of 2016. To preserve the archive, I began working with the OTW to transfer the stories to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. If you are this creator and the work hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Fandom Haven Story Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/fhsa/profile).

  
Author's notes: Menomegirl is the main author of the story. The following authors have contributed to many of the chapters.  
  
KiniP- powerscin@yahoo.com  
Strangecreature- devils_minion432@yahoo.com  
Ely Jan- barnesej@yahoo.com  
  
In homage to Chance Encounters: Angel/Lindsey written by crazyevildru & evil willow. Loved it.

* * *

She was rushing, she knew that, but time wasn't in her favor here. In between the chaotic thoughts of Wesley and almost regrets about the choices she'd made, not to mention the fact that she would probably be dead soon, she had discovered something within herself she hadn't known she still possessed. 

 

A sense of honor. There was a debt she felt she owed, and with the events of the day, she was desperate to repay it. The Beast had targeted Wolfram & Hart, for some obscure reason, unknown to anyone. She had found out everyone working for the firm in the LA branch was dead, except for her. But yet, there was still one other who was tied to the LA branch.

 

He'd saved her life once. It was surprising to her, in these devastating circumstances, that all she could think of now was that she had to try and save his. She hadn't loved him, hadn't even liked him...but he'd found a way for them both to beat the system. It was time to repay him.

 

She swiftly cast the spell, hoping she'd read him right, in this one instance. If she was wrong, well...it didn't matter much, she doubted she'd be here to see the show, any way. 

 

As the last of the magic dissipated, she lost consciousness. She had no way of knowing that her casting had been observed by unseen entities.

 

She awoke some time later, weakened, tired, dazed. She got rid of what evidence remained of the casting, picked up a crowbar, and left to confront Angelus. 

 

Lilah's last thought as she left was that she hoped she was right, that it wasn't just hate that had drawn enemies to each other in the past, because if it was, she had just created one hell of a mess for someone else to fix.


	2. Prologue - Debt-Paid In Full

Angel was tossing and turning in his bed. The dream was always the same. 

 

Angel watched as Angelus grabbed a young man and rammed his hard, cold cock into a soft, fiery heat. "Holy Hell, you're tight. And here I thought you'd be used to this by now, given who you worked for. Tell me, lover, did my big bad just pop your cherry?" 

 

Laughing sadistically, Angelus pulled back until just the tip was still inside then leaned over to whisper in the man's ear. "Fucked up thing we have here, ain't it? One minute, you're all about the pain, wanting it, wanting Angel to give it to you. And he won't, but instead he gave it to _her_. Got to hand it to him though, I didn't think he had it in him...especially after the whole slayer shit went down. Oh well, I may not be _who_ you want, but here I am boy, and more than willing to give you what you want... although now you don't seem to want it anymore. Guess what...too fucking bad!!" 

 

Angelus slammed back into the body, ignoring the young man's pleas begging him to stop. Angel could smell the blood, the fear, the rage all coming from the boy and all heavily laced with the scent of arousal from the body under him. The fact that the smell was familiar and that he couldn't place it irritated the hell out of Angel along with the other fact that Angelus seemed to _know_ the boy moving beneath him.

 

_"Who is it, you fucking sadistic bastard?"_

 

"You know him, Angel. You smell him. And _you_ should know his scent better than anyone. I know it. I kept waiting for you to recognize it. The want, the desire, the need for you. It was all there. Hell, it still is. But you ignored it and now...now...

 

_I'm_ going to step in, give him what he wants."

 

_"No, don't do it!"_

 

Hearing the distressed moans underneath him just excited the demon more and Angelus drove harder and harder. "Watch this Angel, I'm gonna make him mine now," Angelus taunted, then leaned down and buried his fangs into the man's tender neck.

 

Then blood. Angel felt the hot blood flowing into his mouth, flooding his senses, he felt it as it pushed Angelus over the edge and he came, flooding the tight ass with icy cold semen. 

 

The dream was always the same, always ending before he could say whether or not he killed the young man. It didn't feel like he killed him, so could it be that Angelus maybe only marked him? Surely Angelus wouldn't have claimed him, would he? Never been his style, but....

 

The dream was always the same, only this time it came with a twist. This time he saw the man's face. 

 

Angel awoke with a startled jerk. "Lindsey?"

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Lindsey McDonald stands blinking at eyes rimmed red in the very early morning hours, staring at his reflection the bathroom mirror, trying to figure out why he keep dreaming about a former enemy and telling himself that if they were only bad dreams, he'd have no problem. Not as if he's had a decent night's sleep in years, anyway. But they weren't. 

 

Shaking his head, cupping his hands under the water and bringing the cold water up to splash away the remnants of the dream and having a silent conversation in his head, thinking perhaps he might need therapy because there's just no reason he should be having wet dreams about Angel.

 

Dreams about making love, dreams more erotic than any he'd ever had before, involving things he'd never done, things he's damn near positive he's never thought about, and about pain....dreams that involve his eternal death, about a vampire he despised. 

 

It's been going on for a month now and Lindsey is at the end of his rope, can't take it any more. Most days he's torn between throwing up or jerking off, has done both, and it isn't helping. His imagination is going wild with all of this, and he feels like he can't breathe, feels this hunger he's never known before and is at a loss as to how to deal with it.

 

He's totally pissed off because he just wants to forget he ever even heard his name, wants forget about evil law firms, backstabbing co-workers, and being maneuvered like a piece on a chessboard. He wants his life back but every day, he looks in the mirror...and every day, he hates himself. He can't forget...but he doesn't want to remember, either. 

 

"I don't _want_ to want Angel," he tells the refraction in the glass and thinks maybe he can look inside, be honest while he's looking at himself and no one else is here. It's not as if the mind readers can fuck with him in his own house and who's going know if he seriously thought about Angel for just a few minutes? "No fucking body, that's who," he mutters.

 

So he looks into the mirror in the cold light of day and asks himself _Do I want Angel? Do I want to make love with him? Do I want him to touch me, taste me, take me, own me, do all the nasty things I keep dreaming?_ And he gives himself a moment of silence while he thinks on those questions...turns around and steps into the shower, turning the taps on full-bore cold, stands under the needling spray, shivering, more disgusted with his own self than he's been in a very long time. 

 

_I'm sick of this shit. Something's gotta give. Why is this happening to me? I need a drink._

 

"I need Angel," Lindsey whispered, thinking if he said it aloud, it wouldn't sound as bad as it did when he thought it and just hearing it. That made him want several drinks. An entire fucking bottle. 

 

He sighed, stepped out of the shower, wiped his face off, then stared hard at the silvered reflection. "Fuck, I'm screwed," he finally said.


	3. Chapter 2  Deep Inside

Angel stood at the window of his fifteenth floor offices at Wolfram & Hart and stared unseeingly at the view laid out before him. He was tired. Dead tired. He was afraid to sleep, afraid of the dreams, especially now. Now that the dreams had a face, a face he had hoped to never see again. 

 

_What the hell is going on? Are these dreams trying to tell me something? Angelus...and Lindsey? How do they fit in? And what did Angelus mean when he said Lindsey wanted, no _needed_ me? Shit. I need to eat. I need to sleep. I need to forget all this. It was just a fucking dream, for fuck's sake. Taking over this firm is seriously messing with me. Yeah, that's it. All this shit started when I came here._

 

So deep in thought was he that he never heard the door open and close, nor did he hear the footsteps that brought the visitor up to stand beside him. "Beautiful view isn't it," the man asked.

 

Angel started and dropped the file that he had been holding. "Wesley! How long have you been here?" Angel bent down to retrieve the file and the papers scattered around it.

 

"Just walked in. Are you okay?" Wesley asked as he bent down to help. He picked up the red file folder and read the name on the label. He stood up and waited as Angel gathered the rest of the loose papers and drew up to stand beside him. 

 

Angel took the file from Wesley's hands and shoved the papers inside, throwing the file onto the desk, then turned back to the window. "I'm fine, Wesley. Was there something you needed?"

 

"No, I was just checking in. Although when I was looking through some research material, I came across a file that contained a spell which sounded rather interesting but...Angel, are you sure you're okay? You look a little...tired," Wesley asked, watching closely. 

 

"I am tired, Wes. There's so much to go through, and the more I read, the more I feel like we're getting nowhere. I guess I'm not sleeping much," Angel said, rubbing his hands over his face.

 

"That's understandable." Wesley glanced over at the file on Angel's desk. "So, are you going to go look for him?"

 

Angel turned and looked at Wesley. "Look for whom?" 

 

"Lindsey McDonald," Wesley replied.

 

"Why would I look for Lindsey? After all, I was the one who told him to leave and not come back. He seemed to be okay with that..." Angel's voice drifted off as he again turned back to the window.

 

"Do you ever think about him? Especially now, being here in this place?" Wesley motioned to the opulent office around him. Something was bothering Angel and he would bet his Wolfram & Hart paycheck that it had a lot, if not all to do with the errant lawyer and quite possibly the spell he'd found.

 

Angel whirled around to stare at the ex-watcher. "And what would I think about him, Wesley?"

 

"Oh, I don't know, like maybe you wonder where he is. If he's safe." 

 

"If he's even still alive?" Angel snorted. "Who knows, Wes, maybe Wolfram & Hart met him on his way out of town and terminated his contract. That would be something, wouldn't it? Finally, a reason for me to feel guilty about Lindsey McDonald." He turned back to the window. "As if the dreams weren't enough."

 

"Dreams? What dreams," Wesley asked.

 

_Shit. Smooth, Angel. Anything else you didn't want anyone else to know?_

 

Angel turned and looked at his friend. "Nothing. Did I hear you mention something about a spell you found?"

 

"Do you miss him, Angel?" Wesley prodded.

 

Angel turned to the window again and smiled, more to himself than for Wesley's benefit and continued to stare through the glass. _Do I miss him? Do I miss having to watch over my shoulder to see where the next attack is going to come from? Do I miss watching those incredible blue eyes change shades when the man got angry, or happy, or aroused? Do I miss looking at those full lips, wondering what they'd feel like under my own? Would they be rough and cool or soft and invitingly warm? Do I miss Lindsey?_

 

Angel sighed inwardly and decided that some things were better left alone, and _this_ was one of them. "I admit that I got curious when I ran across his file, but that's about all. Other than that, I haven't thought about him since he left. I don't know where he is and I really don't care. I have enough to worry about in LA right now."

 

"And if I told you that the odds are good that he's alive...maybe even headed this way? Lord knows, we could use him to help us make sense of all this sh-stuff," Wesley said.

 

"I'd tell you that I hope he is alive, but as for Lindsey coming back here? I hope not. Right now the last thing I need is Lindsey McDonald back here..." _First thing I want._ "Last thing I need."

 

Angel turned away from the window and went back over to his desk. He picked up Lindsey's file and put it in a bottom drawer. _There. Out of sight, out of mind. Moving on._

 

Looking up at Wesley, he smiled at his friend. "I'm tired Wes. Is there anything that can't wait until tomorrow? I think I'm going to head off to bed now."

 

Wesley decided the spell could wait until later."No, nothing urgent. Angel...is there anything I could do to ease your workload?" And it was obvious Angel didn't want to talk about Lindsey, so better to leave it at that.

 

Angel smiled softly. "Not really, although I do appreciate your offer. It's late, Wes, you go home, too. I'll call you if I need you."

 

"All right, then. Good night." Wesley replied, turning and heading for the door.

 

"Good night and Wes? Be careful," Angel said to the man's retreating back. He watched as Wesley shut the door behind him and went back to the window. 

 

"Do I miss Lindsey?" He whispered, reaching out with a hand and touching the cool necro-tempered glass. "Yeah, I miss him. I miss him a lot."


	4. Chapter 3  Wants

Lindsey sat on the sofa contemplating the bourbon in his glass. He'd been doing the same thing every night for a solid month. He was slowly getting a little drunk, trying to understand this thing he had for Angel. His mind was stuck on the vampire, and no matter how hard he worked, the images just refused to dissipate. 

 

It was arousing to the extreme, and often embarrassing to boot. It was getting extremely difficult to concentrate on his duties at the firm, when he had a full-blown, raging hard on all damn day. He was beyond desperate and just trying to decide when had it started, if he been in denial all this time or if he'd been trying to block it all out. 

 

Going to the bar to refill his glass, Lindsey thought, _Attracted to my worst enemy. What a nightmare. Yeah, I'm twisted, all right. I just never realized how much before. Shit, always wanting what I can't have. Needing what I know can never be. But that's fair, right? What else do I deserve, after the things I've done? Just think: Angel. How fucked up is that?_

 

Lindsey sat back down on the sofa, sipping the bourbon, and forced himself to remember what he could. 

 

Found it was everything. Every touch, every word, every pain. The first time he'd seen Angel. Those soulful brown eyes staring into his in a crowded courtroom. Every gesture the man had ever made in Lindsey's presence, every threat he'd uttered in that smooth voice. Every time Angel had kicked his ass, being nearly strangled, garroted, having his hand cut off. Angel saving his life and the temper tantrum Lindsey had had when the vampire did it.

 

Lindsey closed his eyes as he reached the final analysis. Whenever he'd been within Angel's presence, he had been in an aroused state. Even worse, the danger of the vampire called to his senses more than anything else ever had. 

 

Lindsey was a sensualist. He liked pleasure, liked to kiss, and he knew how. He liked to fuck until he couldn't move, couldn't think, couldn't hardly breathe. He was all about touching, feeling, smelling, tasting. He lost himself in passion, he always had. 

 

But he'd never considered another man in this way until now, and the thought of _Angel_ along those lines had him harder than Lindsey could ever recall being before.

 

A strange thing it was, too. Lindsey didn't get off on pain. He never had. But, hell, he guessed it was time to tell the truth and take it like a man. 

 

_That pain in the ass, screw up your whole world, make-you-so-damn-angry-you-lose-your-fucking-mind _Angel_ had come along, put those hands of his on him, and Lindsey's body had just fucking turned on him, becoming one big mass of fuck me-hurt me-use me-Angel slut._

 

That's the truth, as much as it pained him to admit it. Was it because the vampire had knocked him around so much he'd come to like it? Why was that? It was almost as if some sort of fusion happened between them...as if some mystical connection bound them.

 

Lindsey didn't understand it, didn't like it and it was pissing him off. 

 

He swallowed the remaining bourbon, faintly disgusted with himself. This fascination with vampires or _vampire_ as the case may be...was just that. Fascination. That's all it was. It had nothing to do with fate or destiny or any fucking Wolfram  & Hart mumbo jumbo. He'd left all that shit behind in LA. He was done. Finished.

 

He sighed. If only the dreams would go away or he wasn't so damn turned on by the whole thing. If only he didn't get hard at the mere thought of Angel vamping out. If only his body would act like his mind wanted it to or his neck hadn't become so sensitive. Or if he didn't want to know what it would really be like, being with Angel, having him inside, moving with him in rhythm....and Lindsey was just drunk enough now to admit to himself that he _did_ want those things. 

 

Why be anything but honest about it now? Cause, shit, any way he looked at it, he was pretty much fucked.

 

So, what to do? He'd left LA behind, but now discovered it wasn't as far away as he'd imagined. And all this may be new to him, but ignoring it damn sure hadn't made it go away. 

 

He decided to, at the very least, make a phone call. Perhaps, if he heard Angel's voice, he'd find out all this was a figment of his fevered imagination. And he was just tipsy enough to do it, too.

 

He picked up the phone, his heart rate speeding up, dialing the number he had so many times before. This time, he wouldn't hang up before someone answered. The phone rang, and he knew the call had been transferred elsewhere. 

 

But he was stumped when he heard, "Wolfram & Hart. How may I direct your call?"

 

"Uh...I must have dialed the wrong number," he said. "I was trying to reach another party."

 

"Were you trying Angel Investigations? If so, you have reached the correct number. How may I direct your call?"

 

"I'd like to speak to Angel, if I may?" Lindsey said, thinking _What the fuck?_

 

"May I ask who is calling?" 

 

"Just put Angel on the line," Lindsey said, irritated at the whiny sound of the voice on the other end of the line. He was afraid of what was happening, yet exhilarated at the same time.

 

"Please stay on the line while I direct your call," the woman said in a slightly huffy manner.

 

Lindsey felt the exotic, skin crawling sensation begin that he'd always felt when he'd known contact with the vampire. He could feel the flush of heat rushing through his body at the mere thought of hearing Angel's voice. Something so mundane, so common as a phone call was turning him inside out, and when had he become that fucking enamored with the man?

 

Then he heard it, the arrogant, menacing voice that had haunted his dreams. "This is Angel."

 

It sent a shiver down Lindsey's spine. A smile broke out over his face at the sound of the vampire's voice, and Lindsey realized how very much he'd missed hearing it.

 

He worried his lower lip for a few seconds, thinking how stupid this was, then said, "Miss me yet?"


	5. Chapter 4  Inevitable

Quite some time passed before Angel moved from his unconscious vigil at the window to the couch arranged so that it caught the rays of the sun. He hadn't wanted to talk about the errant lawyer with Wesley. In fact, he didn't really even want to be thinking about Lindsey, but it had become impossible not to in this place. 

 

He knew that to the casual observer, it would appear as if he were sleeping and that suited the vampire just fine, because while it might appear as if he was sleeping, in all actuality, his mind was teeming with thoughts and for once, he didn't attempt to bury or deny them. 

 

So Angel had closed his eyes and remembered that swagger of the young lawyer, that soft sexy drawl, those damn blue eyes, those full lips that just begged to be kissed, even his eyebrows. 

 

Recalled how the very sight of Lindsey seemed to heighten his senses like no creature ever had before, how he's wanted with a passion unmatched in his entire existence.

 

Played within his mind so many small things that he'd stored in his memory and kept under lock and key, forbidden and never to be looked upon, so he wouldn't burn inside for things he knew could never be. 

 

But he remembers the heat that Lindsey carried with him and the scent that rose from his skin, the smell that etched itself into every cell of Angel's body, dead though it may be. 

 

And he remembers how they wronged each other, how they hated each other, used each other, and how they'd tried to kill each other. Recalls how very badly he'd wanted Lindsey gone from here, wanted him to leave and never come back. 

 

That way the young lawyer would at least have some chance at a normal life and the temptation to take, destroy, own Lindsey would be gone along with him. 

 

He recalls the despair he felt when Lindsey drove away and the emptiness that followed and how no one had known the hell he'd lived through after Lindsey left Los Angeles or how he'd suffered in silence, brooded in secrecy, and damned the Powers with all his heart.

 

 

Now Angel just wishes with whatever's left of the soul he hangs onto that Lindsey was here and he thinks he'd give just about anything if the young man would just walk through the door and he's more than a little startled to realize he's been expecting it since they took over this branch of Wolfram & Hart. 

 

A little unnerved to discover that he's wanted to feel the heat coming off of Lindsey in waves, wanted to be enveloped in his scent. Wanted to watch that little secretive smile that always seemed to know more than it said dance on his lips.

 

Wanted to gaze into those eyes, so intense and alive, as they peered up at him, challenged him, dared him to let go and _live_. And he finds that what he wants the most is to just hear his voice but instead of the sound he's dreamed of for months, a soft, eerie noise breaks the silence.

 

_rrring_

 

Snapping out of his thoughts, violently catapulted back into reality, and it takes Angel another moment to connect the sound he's hearing to the phone on his desk. 

 

_Lindsey's gone, and he's not coming back. If he was, he'd have done so by now,_ the vampire firmly thinks, blinking a couple of times until he's able to react and his nervous system works again and he stands up, walks over to the desk and hits the button for the speaker phone. 

 

"Yeah?"

 

"You have a call on line 2." Harmony's voice came back in her ever present whine.

 

"And?" Angel asks.

 

" _And what_? You have a call on line 2," Harmony replies, voice now laced with exasperation.

 

"Harmony, who is it?" Angel says, trying to keep a level tone in his own voice.

 

"Oh. He wouldn't say. He just said _Put Angel on the phone_. Do you want me to ask again?" 

 

"Never mind," Angel responds, hitting the blinking button that's flashing with a small growl of frustration. "This is Angel."

 

"Miss me yet?" 

 

Angel froze, looks over at the closed office doors, expecting to see the embodiment of the voice he had just heard, but no one's there.

 

"What? _Now_ , you're speechless?" The voice said and sardonic amusement in it came thru the speaker.

 

_On the phone, Angel. On the phone. You really didn't think he was here, did you?_ Angel shook his head to clear away the sound of his own thoughts, reached over and grabbed the handset.

 

" _Lindsey_?"

 

"I'm flattered, Angel. Got me in one. Makes me wonder if _you've_ been thinking about _me_."

 

Angel closed his eyes and just listened to the sound of that voice filtering into his ear, heard the sarcasm in it, and Angel understood that tone, knew it was a habit the young man had picked up in childhood, one that had become second nature to Lindsey. The vampire felt a strange prickling sensation on his arms and looked down to see goose bumps all over them. 

 

"Angel? Still there? Not on the floor passed out in shock to hear my voice, are you?" 

 

Angel closed his eyes, picturing the smile he could hear in his voice tilting Lindsey's lips, felt a strange prickling sensation on his arms and looked down to see goose bumps all over them. Raising an eyebrow at that reaction and he snorted in reply. "Vampires don't faint, Lindsey." 

 

"Oh, really? Huh. Bet I can make you faint."

 

" _Lindsey, please_ ," Angel replied, amused. "I thought two years away would give you time to grow up."

 

"Oh, that's a loaded statement from a guy who gets his kicks leaving childish signs on trucks. I mean, really, Angel, was that the best you could do?"

 

Angel laughed. "Got a ticket, did you?"

 

"Of course not," Lindsey replied. "I talked my way out of Wolfram & Hart. What made you think I couldn't talk my way out of a ticket?"

 

"I should've known. But it was fun and I'm still not fainting, Lindsey. Just why did you call, any way?"

 

There was a long pause, just the sound of Lindsey's breathing coming through the headset as it picked up speed and Angel wondered if he listened hard enough, if he could perhaps hear his heart beating, too.

 

"Well, I was just sitting here, wondering what it would feel like to have you screw me until I couldn't move, so I called to ask you how it would feel." 

 

Angel didn't faint, he did worse. 

 

He stuttered.


	6. Chapter 5  Truth or Dare

"Par..." _Did I just hear what I think I did?_ "Wha..." _He didn't just say he wanted to fuck, did he? Surely not._ "Excuse me?" Angel finally managed to sputter out.

 

Lindsey laughed at the sound in Angel's voice. "Talk much, Angel?"

 

"What are you playing at this time Lindsey? What's the game?" Angel sat down in his chair, jittery, jumpy, and somewhat distracted. Visions of Lindsey's blue eyes clouding over with desire for him kept popping up in his head.

 

"No games, Angel." Lindsey's voice dropped another octave and the sarcasm was notably missing. "I'm deadly serious. I keep thinking of you, dreaming about you..."

 

"Are you looking to get that way?" Angel asked emotionlessly, cutting Lindsey off.

 

"What way?" Lindsey replied, thinking _Why does Angel always do that? Now it sounds like he doesn't care and just a few minutes ago, he sounded as if he wanted me to call him._

 

"Dead," Angel answered.

 

Lindsey sighed. "No Angel, I'm just looking for a way to get you out of my head." _And very possibly my heart._ But no way was Lindsey going to tell the vampire that.

 

"And into your bed?" Angel's lips tilt into a grin, his voice tinged with amusement.

 

"If that's what it takes. I swear, Angel, I think I'm going crazy," Lindsey said, exasperation now creeping in. "So are you going to answer my question or not?"

 

"What question was that, Lindsey?" Angel quietly asks and silence fills the line for a minute or so. 

 

Lindsey swallows, licks his lips, teeth worrying the fullness of the lower one as he thought about how to answer that."What would it feel like? I really do want to know," Lindsey finally replied, feeling his body flush all over. "Hell, I _need_ to know."

 

"Why do you need to know?" Angel softly asked.

 

"Because I can't get the thought of you out of my head," Lindsey answered truthfully, "I'm not joking now, Angel, okay? I just...I just. I want...something. You, I guess. God, I can't believe I'm saying this. Look, I know I'm twisted. But this is.....confusing me and I...I need you. I need help. Please, this once, trust me. I'm on fire here, Angel."

 

"Lindsey, where are you?" Angel asked, smoldering desire lacing his voice. He understands Lindsey's needs, his wants, his desires, understands what it feels like to be haunted with the unknown. But what he doesn't understand is the sudden raging need in _himself_ to answer Lindsey's question in person.

 

"Home, Angel. I'm at home." Lindsey replies with a soft laugh, teasing again. He'd just let more out than he'd intended....and what if Angel wasn't interested? What if he was only....getting his rocks off listening to Lindsey say these things?

 

Was Lindsey serious...or just getting off on messing with his head again? "Where's home at, Lindsey?" Angel said.

 

"Definitely _not_ LA. Are you worried that I may be right under your nose and you never knew it?" Soft laughter floats through the phone and into Angel's ear, settling right in Angel's groin. 

 

"No, Angel, I'm not under your nose, but I think I _am_ under your skin. I bet that pisses you off too, doesn't it?" More soft laughter and now Angel is hard. "I know it's pissing me off."

 

"Lindsey, did you call me for phone sex," Angel asks, frustration screaming through his body. "Or is there a point to all this innuendo and heavy breathing?" 

 

_Phone sex...did Angel actually just say phone sex?!?_

 

A heated flush swept through Lindsey's body at the thought of Angel and phone sex. Angel and any sex. Angel. Sex. Lindsey closed his eyes and softly growled.

 

Angel chuckled at the sound. "Lindsey, did you just growl at me?"

 

"Uh...maybe?" Lindsey said, a little breathless now.

 

_Oh, turnabout is fair play, Lindsey. You made me stutter. Well, I can play, too._

 

Angel made a sound between a growl and a purr, and said, "I like it. I like the sound of your voice. It makes me want to fuck you right through the floor."

 

Lindsey felt his face go slack in shock and the phone dropped from his suddenly boneless hand. _Oh, Fuck. Did he just actually say that?!? I cannot believe the stoic bastard said that!_

 

"Lindsey....you still there?"

 

He picked the phone back up with a hand that now held a fine tremor. "I'm still here! Are you trying to scare me off? If so, it didn't work! You know, I can play just as hard as you can, Angel." _Cause you know what? Pain or no pain, I'm doing this now. That's right. I'm gonna let Angel screw my brains out. If only....I can get him here._

 

Angel chuckled again. "You don't want to get burned, you shouldn't play with fire, Lindsey. You started this dance. I ask again, is there a point to all of this?"

 

"The point is Angel, I want you. Question is: _Do you want me?_ " Lindsey said, his voice suddenly smooth and sultry, a little breathless, a little teasing.

 

_He really means it!_ Thoughts of a desire drugged Lindsey were now driving him to the edge. He had to get to him...as fast as possible. "Yes, Lindsey, I want you and if you tell me where you are, I'll even come and show you."

 

" _Find me, Angel...and you can have me,_ " Lindsey replies with the sexiest drawl he could, and with that he hung up the phone. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

"LINDSEY!" Angel roared into the phone. Nothing but dead air answered back. "DAMMIT!" Angel ripped the phone off the desk and hurled it across the room, where it shattered against the wall with such force pieces were left embedded into it. 

 

Angel turned to the doors, where Harmony was standing having come to see what all the noise was about. "Harmony, get in here," Angel ground out.

 

Harmony walked over to the desk and looked at her boss. She could see yellow flirting with the chocolate brown of his eyes and smiled gleefully. _This job may not be such a drag after all._ "Hey, Angel. What's up? Need somebody killed? Or at least maimed?" 

 

Angel grimaced at Harmony's words but he knew that she was sensing his demon fighting for control. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, not for the oxygen but for the minimal time it gave him to take back that control.

 

"No, Harmony. _Found_ I want someone found, as soon as possible. Yesterday would have been nice. Understand?"

 

"Sure. You want someone found," Harmony replied, waiting a beat or two for Angel to answer, then rolled her eyes. "Who?"

 

"Lindsey McDonald," Angel answered.

 

"Was that who was just on the phone? Why didn't you just ask him where he is?"

 

"I did, Harmony. He had already hung up. I need him found. NOW!"

 

"Alright already," Harmony says, edging back a step or two. "I get it. No need to get all pissy about it. Any hints as to where to begin?"

 

"He used to work here a few years back. I already have his file, but there's nothing beyond his termination date. Look for credit card usage, a forwarding address from his apartment. I don't know, look for anything...just find him!"

 

"Okay already. I'm on it." With that, Harmony turned and walked swiftly out the door, closing them behind her.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Back in Oklahoma, Lindsey McDonald sat and worried about what he had just set in motion. He realized he had let his body talk and not his mind. 

 

Why in the holy hell had he just done that? Invited a vampire, whose hands had never touched him except to hurt him, back into his life?!? Shit, he'd all but dared the man...

 

And Lindsey knew he was a lot of things, but a masochist was _not_ one of them. Or, at least, he hadn't been. He needed another drink.

 

Lindsey decided he pretty much hated the unknown.


	7. Chapter 6  Homeward Bound

Six hours later, Angel had all the information he needed to find Lindsey laid out before him and now knew everything the young lawyer had been up to for the last 2 years. He picked up a piece of paper and read the letterhead. _Garland, McDonald, & Powers - Attorneys at Law_ "Tulsa, Oklahoma. So I guess you went home after all, didn't you, Lindsey?"

 

"Lindsey?" Gunn walked in and took a seat on the couch across the room from Angel's desk and looked over at the vampire. "I know you ain't talkin' about that evil lawyer you ran outta here a few years back. Or are you? He ain't comin' back into play now, is he? Cause I'm thinkin' he may not like it here now –– with you bein' boss and all."

 

Angel smiled. "No Gunn, Lindsey isn't coming back. Seems he's made a name for himself back home in Oklahoma. Partner in a firm there."

 

"And you know this how? Better yet... _why?_ " Gunn asked.

 

"I ran across his file the other day and got curious. Had Harmony look into it. He was easy to find, didn't even change his name to hide. I guess the senior partners did like him because he's still alive and..."

 

"Angel, I just got off the phone with the pilot and he said that the Wolfram & Hart company jet can be ready to go whenever you are. He just needs an hour to get pre-flight done. So there's your nonstop flight to...Oh! Gunn. Hi."

 

Harmony looked over at Angel and smiled as angelically as she could. _Oops! You're so busted!!_ "Anyway, here's the pilot's name and number..." She handed Angel a scrap of paper "I'm leaving now, so can I get you anything before I go?" 

 

"No Harm, I think you've done enough for one day. Go home and I'll see you tomorrow." Angel walked over to the blonde, putting his hand on her elbow, steering her towards the door.

 

"But aren't you going to..." Harmony started to ask.

 

"Goodbye, Harmony!" Angel said loudly, effectively cutting her off. 

 

"Alright! Goodbye, already. You better not be this grouchy tomorrow or I'll..."

 

"Harmony!" Angel bellowed.

 

"I'm gone!" Harmony turned and fled.

 

"What was that all about?" Gunn asked when Angel came back into his office and closed the doors.

 

Angel considered what to tell the man but then opted for the truth. "I'm going to Oklahoma to see Lindsey. Wes seems to think that maybe he could help us." 

 

Angel looked over at Gunn expecting the man to blow up at him, get angry, ask him if he was crazy, expecting anything but the reaction he got, which was none.

 

"Kinda figured you would...someday," Gunn said.

 

"You did?" Angel asked, surprised.

 

"We _all_ did, man. We just figured it would have happened before now, is all. But I guess _outta sight, outta mind._ Then we came back here, to this place and...well, I guess now is the time," Gunn said, shrugging his shoulders. "When you leaving?"

 

Angel looked at the scrap of paper in his hand then looked back at Gunn with a faint smile on his face. "Hopefully, in about an hour," he said, reaching for the phone.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Angel lay back on the bed in the back of the luxurious Wolfram & Hart company jet. He had decided to board before sunrise so he could sleep on the way and have less wait time for sunset when he got there. He was determined to see Lindsey that night.

 

It seemed the entire plane had been outfitted especially for him, from the blood bags in the galley to the special glass for the windows, the same glass used in his offices and penthouse suite that W & H gave him when he took over the LA offices. 

 

_Nothing but the best huh, Lindsey? Five star accommodations. I can see why it would be hard to turn all this down, especially after growing up the way you did._

 

Angel let his mind wrap itself around the young lawyer, and the only time they ever worked together instead of against each other. _Well there was the body parts shop, but can't really count that because he didn't ask for my help, that just sort of happened. But the kids...that's where it all began..._

 

Saving those kids seemed to be personal for Lindsey. I had thought it would wake him up as to the type of people he worked for. I was wrong. He said that he wanted out. I had assumed that he meant out from under Wolfram and Hart. Lindsey wanted out alright, out from under the guilt he knew he would feel when Vanessa got done with those kids. 

 

But that guilt was replaced by fear and anger. Anger because his body reacted to mine. It came alive. I made his body sing in a way it never had before. I know because that scent, his arousal, his passion, his essence....it's been a part of me since that night. 

 

Lindsey was angry because he couldn't accept it. His scent is what constantly drove me to touch him, to remind him. So I did. Mainly with my fists. I needed him to hurt. I needed him to bleed. I needed him to need me. But most of all, I needed him to come forward and tell me what his body was screaming at mine. 

 

That he wanted me. And that want of me made him afraid. I could have helped him understand his needs, his desires. Himself. 

 

Instead, he hid. Hid behind that concrete, all that steel and glass called Wolfram and Hart. Where he felt safe, where he felt wanted. Where he didn't have to come to terms with himself, about what he'd felt for me.

 

Lindsey never knew that I wanted him too. I was going to tell him after we saved the kids. I waited up on the hotel roof until just before sunrise, then headed down to my rooms and waited some more. I was so sure that he would come to me.

 

I even convinced myself that he had gone home first to clean up. Wearing a co-worker's blood all over you all day can be a little unnerving. Maybe it reminded him of his own mortality. 

 

But Lindsey never showed up at my office again.

 

That was the beginning for me. Oh, if you were to ask Cordelia, Wesley or even Gunn when my descent into darkness started, they would tell you it was when Darla arrived back into my life. But in actuality, it was when Lindsey turned his back on me, denying me, denying himself and in effect, denying _us._

 

Maybe Lindsey knew something that I didn't. Maybe he knew that I probably would have just marked him up as a win for the good guys and then left him to fend for himself. After all, I loved Buffy, right? She's my soul mate, isn't she? And the curse that won't allow me to be with her surely wouldn't let me be with Lindsey, would it? 

 

What was worse than worrying about all that was the knowledge I had gained the one and only time I vamped out in his presence. He said I was really gross, but he was covering. It turned him on, and that was a bad thing to know. Bad, bad, bad thing to know.

 

Either way, it didn't matter. After I took his hand to save Cordy's life, he became focused on destroying me. Part of it was in anger, for what I took from him involuntarily and I guess I understood that. But I think another part of him hoped that with my destruction, my death, he could regain the part of himself that he had given me voluntarily, his heart. 

 

Maybe if he had been able to make Darla love him, he would have been able to let go of his twisted hatred of me. He could have fooled himself into believing that through her he got me. 

 

Instead he got neither. Darla left, disappeared. And me, well I did everything short of physically driving him out of LA personally. I needed him gone before one of us ended up dead. I had to let him go. So, I stood there, hands in my pockets, and watched him drive away. Out of LA and out of my life.

 

God, I let him go. It was worse than leaving Darla in China, worse than leaving Sunnydale. I'd never had anyone walk away from me before.....and I hated it.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

I was doing fine until Lilah offered us Wolfram & Hart on a silver platter. My random everyday thoughts about him became an almost constant litany of remembered words and harsh touches. Then the dreams started. 

 

Nice at first, filled with unfulfilled wants and desires acted out just the way I wanted them. Then they changed, became wet dreams and vampire wet dreams are _nothing_ like a human's wet dream. They consisted of Angelus draining and turning Lindsey, killing the part of him that I want so much, his heart. So, again, good thing Lindsey was gone.

 

Then he called. I can still hear that voice. I swear that voice has haunted me since the day we met. He said he wanted me, that he couldn't stop thinking about me, dreaming about me, and it was making him crazy. 

 

_Trust me, Lindsey. I know the feeling._

 

I can't help wondering what his game is though. Seduction, or rather sex, is a tactic he never used before, at least not with me. Now I'm intrigued. 

 

"Sir." I jumped at the tinny sound coming from somewhere on my left.

 

"Yes," I answer.

 

"I just wanted to let you know that we will be beginning our descent into Tulsa International in about 20 minutes," The voice replied.

 

"Thank you."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

"Well, Lindsey, here I come. Are you sure you're ready to play?" 

 

Angel laughed silently. Question is, am I ready? Look at me. 250 years old, jumping at some 29 year old boy like a bitch in heat. Spike said something to that effect once. Something about being Love's bitch. Wouldn't he love to see me now?

 

Lindsey has more control over me than he ever realized. He always has. I look into his blue eyes and I feel Angelus screaming inside of me to have at him. I won't allow that to happen, not to him.

 

My balance may be precarious at best, but when it comes to Lindsey, I have to maintain control. Nothing less is going to do this time, because I mean to have him. He belongs to me, and I'm fucking tired of waiting. Tired of all the long, lonely nights.

 

Lindsey has a dominate nature, the same as I do. The same exact sense of submissiveness is there too. I've felt it. We're two halves that make a whole. The fact that he's human only makes my desire for him greater. Part of Lindsey wants me because I'm a vampire. He's so beautiful to me, my heart hurts to look at him. I cannot decide what I truly want more: to kiss him or to turn him.

 

There must be a place in between....there just has to be.

 

_I'm going to find it._


	8. Chapter 7  Before The Storm

I've been thinking about my total lack of fear when it comes to vampires, since I hung up on Angel. At first I thought it started with Angel...but now I realize that I never had any fear at all. I'm not sure why that is. 

 

It's true, I had a rotten childhood. We were dirt poor. I'll never forget the death of my siblings due to flu. A part of me will never get over that. It left an empty place in my heart, an empty, dark place I tried to fill with Wolfram & Hart. Yet this isn't reason enough for my lack of fear. It was always there, I suppose. 

 

Sometimes, I think a part of my soul is missing. I feel nothing, most of the time. That's what enabled me to work there in the first damn place. It eats at me, that nothingness. It tears me up inside, that numbness. 

 

I did crazy things to try to....be somebody. To prove I was something. _To Belong._ And I tried twice to get myself out of the whole mess I'd made of my life. The first time I desperately needed guidance. It didn't work out. The last time, I ran away. 

 

I once went to Angel for help. I just couldn't stomach the death of children. It was too much. I let him see the emptiness within me...and all I got in return were snide remarks. 

 

The man who had protected Faith against the Watcher's council, despite the torture of Wesley Wyndham-Price, the man who had even fought his lover over the rogue slayer...that man? He didn't care if I lived or died. I had asked him if I died, would it prove I'd changed. He coldly answered that it would be a start.

 

_And that day was almost my death._

 

I've often thought how close I came, how no one would have cared, and how I've held no fear of death ever since. I believe I took the promotion Holland Manners offered me because...at the time, I thought it was hate towards Angel. Now, I know it was rage, because he hadn't cared enough to truly help me. 

 

Angel was supposed to help the hopeless. That day, I was pretty fucking hopeless. That day, the emptiness inside me became a living thing. Because that day, I finally realized my fate was bound to his, somehow. 

 

My body, it came alive in a way I'd never felt before that night and that little epiphany damn near made my heart stop. I went straight into denial, and I think it made the rage worse. So, when I closed that office door, I pushed all the hope I'd felt deep inside, and I've never recovered it.

 

Now, the emptiness is all I feel.

 

For a brief span of time, I thought losing myself in Darla would make it go away, that hopeless feeling. The funny thing is, Darla had known, she'd even told me once. _It's not me you want to screw. It's him._

 

I'll never forget those few sick moments in the nursery when she was dead. Also, the fact that I understood that crazy Drusilla has often made me wonder how sane I am. I told Darla I didn't mind dying. At the time, I'd meant it. 

 

Then I felt Angel, the same second Drusilla did. He said, _I'm sorry I didn't get to you in time._ Darla assumed he was talking to her. That was the only true apology he ever gave me. I smiled when he shut the door on us. If I had died that night, at least he had given me that much. 

 

Now, I've called him to me. I'm still not afraid. 

 

_Will he come?_

 

These two years, I've filled them with passionate encounters. It's almost become a blur to me. Sex for me has always been an exquisite, sensuous experience but I've been driving my body until I'm numb, until I can't move, until I'm nearly dead. It's not enough any longer. 

 

I've realized I'm doing it to feel. To feel alive. To feel human. To feel that I'm not a selfish, uncaring bastard. I need something else, some other forgetfulness to quell the emptiness I live with. 

 

To forget him. Always....Angel.

 

But I can't. I just can't forget. He's under my skin, he's in my blood, and I can't live without him any longer. So, I called him. If Angel does show up...I'll let him take me. He can fuck me, kill me, turn me, love me. I don't care which. I only know...I want him more than I want to breathe.

 

I'm not a masochist but if all he offers me is pain, I'll take it. I'll cry, I'll scream....fuck, I'll even beg the bastard. My pride is gone, my heart is barren, and goddamn it, I feel...so fucking alone. 

 

He's the only one who can understand because he knows that at least physical wounds heal, and fade. Emotional ones seem to never leave. They leave a deeper scar that can never completely fade. And I'm so tired. So fucking tired.

 

And at least with him I'd feel _something_ , wouldn't I? Even if it's only pain. It's better than this cold emptiness I live with. 

 

I want to feel something real, something tangible. Something life-altering and cataclysmic, something to stir what remains of my soul. The sound of his voice on the phone brought it all rushing back, and I want him. 

 

Dreams are sometimes only dreams, because I'm not a prophet or a seer. Only a lawyer with an evil hand, who denies the truth when it's staring me in the face. And I'm not a teenager, confused and ashamed of what I need from him, but a man who knows what I want. 

 

I'm not hiding from it any longer.


	9. Chapter 8  Choices

Lindsey stood up from the couch he'd been lounging on, and walked to the liquor cabinet to pour a tumbler of scotch. He looked at himself in the mirror behind it, smiling at himself. He needed to stop this...what had Angel once told him? Ah, yes. 

 

Moping. He made a noise that was a cross between a snort and a laugh. _A case of the pot calling the kettle, Angel. You brood, and I mope._

 

And even after all this time, Lindsey still had to smile at Angel's snarky attitude during the car ride the day before he'd left LA. At first, it had been the side glances at Lindsey, even during the call he'd made to Cordelia. It had made Lindsey's skin crawl. 

 

But then Angel just couldn't keep his mouth shut. _Your hand hasn't been doing anything....funny....lately, has it?_ The vampire had asked with a look of total innocence on his face, while his hand stroked the side window.

 

Lindsey had shot Angel a look that said _I saw that_ and _Are you flirting with me now?_ and _That's none of your business_ and _Go to Hell_ all at the same time.

 

Lindsey had told Angel, _You know, I know you're Mr. Save A Soul now, but at least you used to throw down with your enemies. What do you wanna do now? You wanna share?_

 

Only, I meant screw, and he knew it, Lindsey thinks now. I'm glad he didn't reply to that at the time. I was on the edge as it was. And when I gasped at the sight of the axe in his hand.....

 

Lindsey's memories were cut off at the sound of his cell phone ringing. He was grinning as he answered, "Hello?"

 

"Still want me, Lindsey?"

 

"Angel?"

 

He sounded amused. "Expecting someone else?"

 

Lindsey said, "No. Not really. How did you get this number?"

 

Angel laughed and the sound made Lindsey's mouth go dry. "You told me if I found you, I could have you. I've been searching, and I almost have you pinned down. Do you still want me, Lindsey?"

 

_Does this mean you're coming? Please say it does. I couldn't take it if you don't._ Lindsey thought, but all he said was, "Yes, I do. Wh...Where are you?" 

 

"So, do I have an open invite to your place once I find you?" Angel asked, avoiding the question.

 

Lindsey laughed, knew that the vampire must already know where he was. _He sounds too cocky not to know where I am. Question is, where is he, how long before he gets here and how long do I have before I have to make good on my promise?_ "When you get here, Angel, come on in. Door's open."

 

Angel said, "You sure about that? Once I walk into your life again, all choice will be gone. Are you really sure you want this, Lindsey?"

 

Lindsey made the half-snort, half laugh sound again. "Yes, I'm sure. You want it in writing?"

 

Angel's voice said behind him, "That would be nice, but not necessary. Thanks, anyway."

 

Lindsey whirled around found himself face to face with the object of his every sleeping thought, though lately even the waking thoughts were filled with him, too. "Angel?"

 

Angel smiled. "Hello, Lindsey, long time no see," he said and with that, Angel took Lindsey's face in his hands and attempted to kiss the young man breathless.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Lindsey barely had time to process the fact of Angel's presence in his home before the vampire took his face in his hands, a sweet surge of heat enveloped his body, and Angel's lips were on his own. 

 

It started out slow but the kiss was everything Lindsey had dreamed of and more. He opened his mouth and let Angel deepen the kiss. It was pulse pounding, earth shattering, and it left the lawyer wanting, and that element of danger...he felt it down to his soul.

 

Lindsey dropped the phone, reached up to wind his hand in the vampire's hair, and kissed him back, touching Angel's tongue with his, and he felt it in every nerve in his body. His mind was screaming _He's here, he came, he's kissing you. Oh my god._ He craved contact with that body, so Lindsey moved closer, slipping his hand under Angel's shirt to touch the vampire.

 

Angel was surprised. The way Lindsey had sounded on the phone, he'd thought Lindsey was maybe just curious or something, but this was beyond mere curiosity. That hand was hot on his skin and damn, Lindsey was teasing his nipples. The vampire muttered, "Fuck." and Lindsey moaned into the kiss. 

 

Damn. Was Lindsey a novice at this or not? Angel moved his right hand to Lindsey's back, the tips of his fingers sliding over material and he kissed his way to the young man's ear, whispered into it, "Have you ever done this before, Lindsey?"

 

That momentarily confused Lindsey, until it dawned on him what Angel had asked, and his heartbeat accelerated, and now he wondered if he was insane to have brought this down on himself, but frankly, he was didn't to care. He softly said, "I've never been with a man before, Angel, if that's what you're asking."

 

Angel laughed softly as he moved to stand behind Lindsey. "That's very good. I've always wanted to be the first one there, Lindsey." And Lindsey felt himself blush all over, a combination of embarrassment and desire sweeping over him.

 

Angel slid his hands down the young man's chest, until he reached the erection that strained against fabric. He held still a minute just to feel the heat of it before he softly began to stroke along the hard length. Lindsey gasped and arched into Angel's hand. "So, you're trying to tell me...what? I'm the only one?"

 

Lindsey let his head fall back as he closed his eyes. Why was he only complete when Angel touched him? His voice was very husky, deepened with passion as he answered, "Yes. You're the one. The....only....one."

 

Angel softly growled into Lindsey's ear. The young man was very visibly turned on by that, just as Angel had known he would be. The vampire slid his hands up under Lindsey's shirt, touching him, teasing him, just to feel how sensitive his skin was to his touch and Lindsey arched up into it. _God, his skin's so damn hot. He feels like he has fever,_ Angel thought. His hand wandered back down, and he began unbuttoning the jeans.

 

Lindsey moaned, placed his shaking hands on the cabinet in front of him, thinking _Oh, God....this is it. If I wanna back out, it's now or never._ But then Angel started undoing each button on his jeans, the pressure on his erection hit his system, and Lindsey knew without doubt that he wanted this...desperately. His body felt more alive in this moment that it ever had before. 

 

"Afraid?" Angel whispered into his ear. 

 

"No," Lindsey shakily said.

 

"Do you want me to stop? Slow down?" Angel said, his hands poised to push the jeans down.

 

_He's giving you an out. This is it, Lindsey boy. Take it and move on or get on with it and take what you've always wanted._ Lindsey shivered, shaking his head at his own thoughts and whispered, "No, don't stop. Please, don't stop."

 

Angel growled softly again. Lindsey gasped at the sound, and the vampire chuckled. He slid the jeans down, his hands slipping between skin and denim, touching Lindsey's legs all the way down, then back up again as he stood. 

 

He shrugged the duster off, placing the lube he'd brought on the cabinet in front of Lindsey, who inhaled sharply at the sight of it, but didn't try to move away. The vampire continued touching Lindsey, who was gently shaking with the desire that was running though his body, panting softly, and blushing at the same time. 

 

Angel decided this was the moment of truth, right here....right now. He slipped his hand lower and took Lindsey's balls in his grip, gently squeezing. Not enough to hurt, just enough to get his attention. He kissed Lindsey's neck, and the young man sucked in his breath and froze. 

 

Angel menacingly said, "What game are you playing at. What do you want, really? Tell me, Lindsey."

 

Lindsey softly said, "I have a vampire at my neck, my pants are down around my ankles, every nerve in my body is singing, I can't decide what it is I want the most, but your hand is on the most vulnerable part of my body. I can feel the danger I'm in. Tell me, Angel....what do I smell like I want?"

 

"Oh, you smell like you really want me to take you, but I want to hear you _say it_. Tell me, Lindsey," Angel whispered. "You look at yourself in that mirror, and you tell me."

 

Lindsey glanced in the mirror, saw the reflection of himself, the look of abandonment in his eyes, the color of the blush of his skin, and the empty space at his back that should have shown Angel behind him. It was startling, that lack of refraction, but Lindsey was blinded by passion, only feeling the hot desire the vampire had always aroused in him, and he wasn't sure exactly what Angel had wanted him to see.

 

Lindsey turned to look Angel in the eye, and answered honestly. "Anything you want, Angel. I'll let you do anything to me you want. I just want you to take me. Here. Now." His voice broke, and he swallowed what remained of pride, "Please. I just want to feel something real."

 

That wasn't the answer Angel was expecting, and it made the demon within glitter in his eyes. A begging, submissive Lindsey he hadn't been prepared for. A Lindsey who kissed back, who touched him boldly, and didn't shy away from something he'd never known, he'd not expected that, either. He'd expected anything but the aching, crushing, heart stopping need he could hear in Lindsey's voice and the unwavering truth he could read in the young man's eyes.

 

It sent his senses reeling, and before he could control himself, he had the lawyer bent over the liquor cabinet, the lube he had brought in his hands. Angel got Lindsey ready for him and he wasn't cruel about it, but not gentle either. Lindsey sucked his breath in, he whimpered a little, but he didn't protest. Then Angel took the man under him, hard and fast and Lindsey screamed at the swift invasion.

 

He felt pain and pressure as Angel moved in him, but it faded as other, more primal needs took him over. The hot, sweet flush was replaced by a nasty, even hotter desire, one that he found he liked. 

 

Being taken this way by someone stronger than him, being used this way by Angel...Lindsey liked it very much. It hurt, but not like he'd imagined it would. Passion took him over, and all he could do was ride it out. Then the vampire moved a different way, and Lindsey groaned deeply, started moving in rhythm with him.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Lindsey hadn't lied. He was tight, only the way a virgin at this would be and the heat surrounding him was incredible. Angel had never felt anyone this hot under him before. 

 

A red haze descended over the vampire, and all he felt was the need to conquer and dominate, to fuck the man underneath him into complete submission, and he didn't hear the sounds that were coming from Lindsey until it was almost over. 

 

But by then, Angel couldn't stop the orgasm that overtook him when he realized the young man under him was moving with him, he was moving and moaning, and he came right before Angel did, the vampire's name echoing in the air in that harsh, husky voice. 

 

Angel knew then that Lindsey was playing the only game that ever mattered. It was kiss or kill and he was afraid it was going to end up being both, because Lindsey was the one, the only one, who was prepared to take it all the way. 

 

Angel had known this from the moment he'd really looked into Lindsey's eyes, what seemed a lifetime ago.

 

The final dance between them had begun.


	10. Chapter 9  An Angel In Black

Angel pulled slowly out of Lindsey, wincing when he saw traces of the young man’s blood on his cock. _Damn it....did I have to be so rough? I didn’t want it to happen this way. But face it....control and Lindsey do NOT belong in the same sentence. Not when I heard all that need in his voice...._

 

"Angel! Don’t!" Lindsey had felt the change in Angel the moment the vampire left his body. He turned, followed Angel’s eyes to the man’s softening penis, saw the blood and knew Angel was feeling guilty.

 

"Don’t what?" Angel looked up at Lindsey.

 

"Don’t start feeling guilty, especially about that!" Lindsey said pointing to Angel. "Nothing happened here that I didn’t want to happen or that I didn’t expect to happen....or that I didn’t enjoy. I asked you for that, remember?"

 

"That may be, but I didn’t have to be so rough," Angel quietly said. 

 

"Right now, Angel, that’s the only way it can be. Let’s face it, gentleness and tenderness ain’t part of what we are. It never was. I knew that when I called you," Lindsey said.

 

Angel locked eyes with the young man who appeared so concerned over the guilt he couldn’t help but feel. "It can be, Lindsey."

 

_Okay.....he feels guilty.....and damn those puppy dog eyes of his._ "Maybe……Someday. But today ain’t that day. We have too much to punish each other for right now."

 

"Punish each other? Is that what you think I'm doing here? I've come to punish you? Lindsey, don't you think you have been punished enough?"

 

"Okay, maybe _punish_ isn't the right word, but still, I think you get my drift," Lindsey replied.

 

Angel sighed. More for appearance than for necessity. _Seriously, can the man be more infuriating?_ "Lindsey, obviously we need to talk and I really can’t have that conversation right now, not with the smell of blood –– your blood –– hanging around.” Angel smiled at the little play on words. “So could you please point me to the bathroom and let me get cleaned up first?”

 

Lindsey pointed the way and watched Angel walk away. Bending down and retrieving his own clothes, he redressed and sat on the sofa waiting for Angel's return. He heard water running, laid his head back and closed his eyes. _Dammit, didn’t realize he planned on taking a shower. Sure, Angel....make yourself at home._

 

Angel paused just inside one doorway of the bathroom, and stared. One corner of the room was taken up by a large Jacuzzi tub. Angel grinned as he walked over to it. Made to fit the corner, sunk into the floor, and easily accommodating to two people. Angel turned on the taps and adjusted the temperature. 

 

As the tub filled, Angel scanned the rest of the room, taking in the double vanity sink and pausing at the double wide shower in another corner of the room. _Only a sensualist would have a bathroom like this. Lindsey’s been holding out on me._ Angel turned back to the tub and turned off the water. Lighting the candles he saw on the corner of the tub and laying out two big, fluffy towels, Angel slid the door closed behind him and went in search of a certain lawyer. 

 

Angel paused and stared at the young man relaxing on the sofa. _He looks like I feel....lonely. Very lonely. Why are you alone, Lindsey?_ Angel shook his head ridding himself of all the questions. _As of right now, Lindsey, you are not alone……not anymore. Someday……somehow……I will see you happy, starting right now. I hope._

 

Lindsey jumped when he felt Angel slip a cool hand into his warm one. He looked up at Angel and watched as the vampire leaned over and placed a cool, and oddly comforting, kiss on his forehead. 

 

“Come with me.” Angel said, smiling, pulling Lindsey off the sofa.

 

"Where?" 

 

"For God's sake, Lindsey, must you always question me on _everything?_ Just once, trust me. Now, come on.” Angel turned and headed back to the bathroom, tugging a hesitant Lindsey behind him. When they reached the bathroom door, Angel turned back and smiled mischievously at the young man and reached over and began unbuttoning Lindsey’s shirt.

 

“Angel, what are you doing?”

 

"Shhh, taking off your shirt, now close your eyes."

 

“Why?”

 

“Because I have a surprise and you’re overdressed. Now please, close your eyes and keep them closed, no matter what. If you peek……well, I guess I’ll have to bite you.” Angel said with a smile, both on his face and in his voice so the young man could hear the playfulness in its tone. 

 

Lindsey closed his eyes and sighed when he felt Angel’s fingers ghost over his skin as each button popped open. He flinched slightly when he felt Angel’s cool fingers slide across his chest, blunt nails lightly grazing each nipple and coming to rest on his shoulders. 

 

Fighting to keep his eyes closed as he felt Angel’s hands gently massaging down each arm and feeling his shirt slipping off to puddle at his feet. _Okay, Angel has this seduction thing down to an art. This feels incredible.....Oow!_ Lindsey heard Angel’s swift intake at the same time searing pain shot through his upper arm. Lindsey’s eyes flew open as he jerked away and he looked accusingly at the vampire.

 

“Oww! Shit Angel, what was that for? My eyes were closed.” Lindsey reached over to touch the bruised flesh.

 

Angel caught a flash of black on the young man’s arm then looked back at the slightly burned flesh of his palm. “Lindsey……what did you do?”

 

“What do you mean what did _I_ do? Felt like you bit me.” Lindsey leaned past Angel and slid the bathroom door open. Pushing past the vampire, Lindsey walked over to look at his arm in the mirror. All he saw was the other constant reminder of why he left L.A. 

 

“You burned my hand.”

 

“How the hell could I have burned your……hand?” Lindsey turned to look at the vampire and froze taking in the sight before him. Bath drawn, towels laid out, and candles everywhere. 

 

Angel looked up from his hand to the reflection in the mirror. "When did you get that?" Angel asked pointing to the cross entwined with a very familiar looking…… _angel?_ on Lindsey’s upper arm.

 

Lindsey looked at his arm then back to the tub, “The night I left L.A. I wanted to……” Lindsey faltered. 

 

“Wanted to what?” Angel was overreacting and he knew it but he couldn’t seem to help himself. “Hurt me? Tell me that you didn’t do this to hurt me.”

 

“Hurt you, Angel? How the hell was I supposed to hurt you with this? I never expected to see you again. You told me to never come back- and why does _this_ have to be about you? Maybe I wanted-”

 

“The angel, Lindsey. That’s the agency’s logo. So now tell me how this _isn’t_ about me. Besides, you had it blessed, or else I could touch it.” Angel interrupted, not wanting to be reminded of that night. Standing there watching the young lawyer drive off was one of the hardest things he had done. “Why did you do it? Why would-“

 

"I wanted to remember," Lindsey interrupted quietly, pleading in his eyes for understanding and space. _Please, don’t push this. Not here....not now. Whatever you had going on here.....I want it._

 

Angel saw the look in Lindsey’s eyes but chose to ignore it. He had never seen the lawyer this……open. Lindsey was always so tightly controlled, showing little if any emotion, giving nothing of himself away. 

 

Angel was at a loss as to how to handle this newly revealed vulnerability but he knew that Lindsey would close back up if he relented so instead he pushed on. “Remember what, Lindsey? The pain of L.A.? The evilness of Wolfram & Hart? All the material things that you had to give up? Am I getting warm here?”

 

“ _YOU!_ ” Lindsey ground out, visibly upset at having to reveal that. 

 

_What??_ Angel reeled back as if Lindsey had slapped him. He stood staring at Lindsey unsure of what to say. “Wh……wh……what?” 

 

“Dammit Angel, I wanted to remember you.”

 

Angel felt the anger slide out of his body and the beginnings of something warm taking its place. Reaching over and grabbing the waistband of Lindsey’s jeans, he hauled the young man to him and planted a kiss on Lindsey’s lips. His flavor was distinctive, staggering, and each taste was a shock to the senses. Angel felt Lindsey’s tongue meet with his own and engage in a short battle for control before feeling the young man give in and lean into the kiss.

 

Trailing his fingers across and down Lindsey’s chest, Angel found the silky ribbon of hair that descended into soft, worn denim and lower. When Angel stroked it lightly he could feel the muscles of Lindsey’s belly jump in response. The evidence of the young man’s excitement brought a heady kind of thrill.

 

A dizzying spiral of heat swirled through Lindsey, turning him boneless. He couldn’t have stood without Angel’s support. Angel’s mouth was laying claim to his own with tongue and teeth, leaving him breathless. Lindsey sensed a hint of desperation in Angel’s hands as they popped open the buttons of his jeans, one right after another. Angel’s hands slid back around and into the jeans to cup Lindsey’s ass, kneading it gently.

 

“You have the firmest, tightest ass I’ve ever felt.” Angel whispered, before letting go and sliding Lindsey’s jeans and boxers down to his ankles. Angel slid around to stand behind Lindsey and nodded his head towards the tub. “That’s for you. I was a little……forceful earlier and I thought this might help with the soreness.”

 

Lindsey smiled, “I’m fine. You didn’t have to do this.”

 

“Yeah, I did. I shouldn’t have taken you like that but this isn’t just about that. It’s about the past. We can’t change it, but we can learn from it. I learned that I wanted you, a little too much for my comfort, and so fighting with you was easy. Watching you hurt though, that wasn’t so easy.” Angel laughed softly. “Hell Lindsey, nothing about you was easy, but……” 

 

Angel paused and nudged Lindsey towards the steaming water, wrapping an arm around the young man’s waist as Lindsey kicked off the clothes at his feet. “But I find that I still want you and I’m sorry that I couldn’t have found a better way to show it.”

 

Lindsey turned and just stared at Angel, sort of in shock. Couldn't believe Angel seriously meant what he'd just said. Lindsey closed his eyes and thought hard about that. Could he let it go, the pain which had been the greater part of him for the last several years? If he let Angel do this, he would be losing what had driven him for so long.....but maybe in doing so, he would gain something finer to replace it. 

 

He sighed deeply as he made his decision, and he let the sweet hot flush he'd been fighting finally settle into him. Along with the flush of desire this time, Lindsey felt a tightening around the area of his heart. He wasn't sure it could be termed pain....but...was this the something real he'd wanted?

 

He opened his eyes to see that Angel’s gaze had never left his face. "Yeah, I’m sorry too." he softly said.


	11. Chapter 10  Impulses

Angel let out a deep breath he didn’t even know he was holding, reached out and caressed Lindsey’s handsome face. He watched as the young man gave him a shy smile and placed his warm hand atop Angel’s cool one, before he turned and placed a kiss in Angel’s hand. Angel, halfway in love with Lindsey already, knew he needed to slow down and let the young man catch up, so putting his free hand on Lindsey’s shoulder he turned the young man back towards the tub. “Better get in before the water gets cold.”

 

"Only if you get in there with me," Lindsey said.

 

Angel looked at the man for confirmation. "Are you sure?" _How can he want me near him after what I just did?_

 

"Angel, I'm really not sure about anything right now, but I know I want you with me, right here, right now. So get in the damn tub. Besides……you're softer to lean on,” Lindsey softly said. 

 

Angel smiled as he stepped into the tub before Lindsey. He reached out and grabbed the young man's hands and dragged him into the tub with him. Lindsey hissed when Angel pulled him down to sit in front of him in the steaming water.

 

"Damn Angel, are you trying to boil me?"

 

"Sorry. I like it hot. Only way to feel warm."

 

"I guess."

 

"Is it too hot?"

 

"I don't know, I'll tell you in a minute." Lindsey leaned back against the vampire and was slightly surprised to find that Angel's skin was still cool regardless of the almost scalding water they were both immersed in. He slid further back, wanting to feel as much of Angel as he could. 

 

Angel's arms slid under his and wrapped him in a cool embrace. _Why is it that this feels so right? And what happens now? Where do I -we-go from here? Why is he here? Does he really care about me or is this just a way to appease a guilty conscience? Making Amends? Is there a 12 step program he has to follow to right his wrongs with the Powers? And where does that leave me?_

 

"Lindsey." Angel whispered into Lindsey's ear. "Quit thinking. There will be enough time for that tomorrow. Tonight is for this - for us. Now relax, please."

 

Lindsey closed his eyes, forced himself to relax and just let himself feel the vampire. He concentrated on the feel of the water which surrounded them both, and discovered the heat no longer bothered him. The contrast between the heat of the water and the coldness of Angel's body was creating a strange comfort zone. 

 

And the desire he felt was still there, but it was muted now. Angel's hands were soothing him, petting him, making him want things that actually had everything and yet nothing to do with sex at the same time. He had never thought the vampire would even think about touching him so softly, so gently....almost reverently.

 

Angel pulled his right arm out from under Lindsey’s and ghosted a finger above the tattoo –– tracing the cross without touching it. He could feel heat radiating from it in his fingertip and a familiar headache was beginning to throb behind his eyes. _Wonder if he feels anything?_

 

Lindsey shied away from Angel’s finger. “That tingles……in a pins and needles kinda way,” He remarked, answering Angel’s unasked question. “Do you feel anything?”

 

“Heat……intense heat. I was wondering if it was just you or the cross itself. Want to tell me about it?” Angel dropped his hand and wrapped his arm back around Lindsey and focused his eyes on the young man’s face.

 

“If I said _not really_ –– would you let it go?”

 

“Not really –– no.”

 

“Figured as much.” Lindsey sighed as he slid more comfortably back in Angel’s embrace, steadfastly refusing to look at the vampire’s face.

 

“It was impulse, really, done in anger and spite. I was okay with leaving but your little visit and parting gift got me pissed off all over again. I was almost to the freeway out of town when I get pulled over and the officer asks me to step out of the truck. So I do and I’m thinkin’ _this is it._ This is probably one of Wolfram  & Hart’s goons and I’m about to disappear. Instead, he walks me to the back of the truck and asks me what _that_ is all about. Really Angel, was 'Cops Suck' the best you could do?”

 

Angel shrugged and gave Lindsey a squeeze. “It was an impulse.”

 

Lindsey smiled and entwined his fingers with Angel’s. “Yeah, whatever. Anyway, it worked. But after..”

 

“Wait. What worked?” Angel interrupted.

 

“The sign. You always have to have the last word……well, you got it, for all of about 20 minutes. As soon as I talked my way out of the ticket and tore the sign to pieces, I headed for the highway. I passed a place on the way and that put the idea in my head. Next thing I knew I was parked in front of an ex-client’s place and your business card was in my hand. I walked in, told him what I wanted and walked out about 2 hours later with what I thought was the ultimate _Fuck You, Angel_ on my arm. I wanted the last word this time.” Lindsey tensed a little and waited to see what Angel’s response would be. _Please, don’t be mad, Angel. This is so....nice. You being here with me feels so good....so right._

 

“Then?” Angel whispered in Lindsey’s ear, interrupting his thoughts.

 

“Then……what?”

 

“Lindsey, I can’t touch it. I’m not sure why but I am assuming it's because you’ve had it blessed. And that requires forethought, almost as if you were expecting me.” _And if you were, did you really think I’d hurt you?_

 

“I was at first. I kept asking myself _Why would Angel go and do something that was no doubt going to get me pulled over? Did he want me to get mad enough to go back and confront him? Was he waiting for me?_ Anyway, when I didn’t go to see you –– part of me expected you would come to me.” Lindsey paused, waiting to see if Angel would confirm or deny his suspicions. When Angel didn’t say anything, he forged ahead with the rest of the story –– wanting to get it done as soon as possible. 

 

"Anyway, after I got here, I ran into a law school buddy of mine. He asked if I would be interested in a partnership at our own firm. I threw myself into it. Worked so much so that I barely remembered to eat, much less anything else. Then about 6 months ago, I started getting restless and edgy. The firm was doing great and we added another partner, so I started doing a little pro-bono work. Helping everyone and everywhere I could. That worked for about a month, then the dreams started. Little snippets of my past flashing behind my eyes, and it all involved Wolfram & Hart in some manner. I figured that they found me and cast a spell to slowly make me crazy, so I went to see a priest." 

 

"Are you Catholic, Lindsey?" Angel said, curious.

 

Lindsey shrugged and laughed lightly. "Hell Angel, I couldn’t even remember the last time I went to church. But there I was, and the priest was suggesting that we start at the beginning. I was christened, and when I made my first confession. Father Michael wasn’t shocked, he believed everything I told him. He’s the one who wanted to bless the cross. He said _the voice within_ told him it was important he do so, and he always heeded that voice. He told me I was forgiven my sins, and that prayer would comfort me. He gave me a rosary, which I still have, but...."

 

"What?" Angel said.

 

"I just don’t believe forgiveness comes that easy, Angel. Or maybe it requires faith, and that’s something either I never had or lost long ago. Anyway – when the dreams changed, I quit going. I knew that if I was dreaming about you, then Wolfram & Hart must have succeeded and I was crazy. Especially with the dreams I was - _AM_ \- having."

 

"When did those start?"

 

“About a month ago. Why?”

 

“Just curious.” _That’s when I took over at Wolfram & Hart. But what does that mean? My dreams started shortly after......How does Lindsey fit into the new scheme?_

 

Lindsey turned and looked directly into Angel’s eyes. “Look Angel, I’m sorry about the tattoo. I didn’t know……I didn’t know……” Lindsey trailed off, completely at a loss as to what to say.

 

Angel's eyes never left Lindsey's face. He knew he was staring but he couldn't seem to help himself. _Hell, Angel...quit acting like a teenager with his first crush. But damn....he’s just too damn gorgeous not to look at._ He smiled and then leaned down and buried his face in the young man's neck. Angel felt Lindsey begin to tense up and pulled back and whispered in his ear. "Shh. It's okay. I'm not going to bite you, although it's tempting. You just smell so damn good. Red-blooded American male, it's rather intoxicating."

 

Lindsey smiled as he relaxed back into Angel. "I'll have to take your word on that, Angel. I wouldn't know. But are we okay? We can get around this, right?” Lindsey watched as Angel bent down and kissed his shoulder, moved back to his ear.

 

"Yeah, but - why me, Lindsey?" The vampire quietly asked.

 

Lindsey didn't even try to pretend that he didn't know what Angel was asking. He no longer wanted to play games with the vampire. Something was happening here, to him, _to them_ , and only together would they figure out what it was. He turned his head so that he could see Angel's face, "Honestly Angel, I don't really know. But.....I do want you. And I'm not sorry I called you, nor am I angry about what just happened. I just wish I knew _why_ you were here."

 

"Linds-"

 

"I know that I'm not making a whole lot of sense here, but these last couple of weeks haven't made much sense to me, either. Here I am, back home and doing good. Great, actually. Started up my own firm, was playing my guitar regularly, and just staying busy. No time to think about LA or…… _you._ Hell, up until about a month ago I hadn't given you a second thought. Then-"

 

"Lindsey. I'm sorry about the way that ended. I-"

 

"Shut up for a sec. _Geesh._ I'm not sorry, Angel. I had to leave. If I hadn't left then one of us was going to end up dead and the way my luck was going……well, I would have bet on me. I didn't want to die and……never mind. Anyway-"

 

“What Lindsey? Never mind what? _Honesty_ here Linds, you said that. Tell me."

 

Lindsey paused. _Am I ready for this? All this honesty? Oh, well....nothing ventured, nothing gained. What dumbass ever said that?!?_

 

"Linds-"

 

Lindsey sighed, "Ok, ok. I didn't want to die and……you were never going to accept me after all that had happened. Even though I had left Wolfram & Hart, you would have kept watching and waiting for me to screw up, and I probably wouldn't have disappointed you. You told me once that I had to change, well.... I have, but I had to get away from you to do it. If I'd have stayed, I wouldn't have changed just to spite you."

 

Angel smiled at the man, "I can believe that. I think that was one of the first things about you that grabbed my attention, your stubbornness. You were never afraid to face me."

 

“Hell, Angel. I was more afraid of _my_ reaction to you than of you yourself. I wasn't ready to admit that I found you attractive or what my body felt when I was near you. And to admit to myself that I liked it when you hurt me or that I got off on you vamping out....that's one of the hardest damn things I've ever done."

 

"You like pain, Lindsey?" Angel asked, his voice lower now, slightly aroused. _I can’t believe he admitted that. Didn’t think he had the nerve to. What other surprises has he in store for me?_

 

"Maybe...a little...I don't know," Lindsey replied. "It's not really a kink I wanted to explore until I met you. All I know is, every time you had your hands on me, we both know it was to hurt me. Well, now we both know it turned me on....but you know, all things aside, I probably would have passed on the whole losing my hand thing."

 

Angel looked down at Lindsey's arm. The scar was still there, a faint reminder of the pain they had dealt each other in the past. Lindsey followed Angel's gaze and lifted his hand up, making a fist, then relaxing it. "I guess I lied when I said that I hadn't really thought about you. Every time I see this scar I thought - _think_ \- about you. And I've looked at this scar every day since I left." 

 

Angel took Lindsey's hand in his and brought it to his lips. He placed a single kiss over the scar on the inside of Lindsey's wrist. He felt a small shudder pass through Lindsey and smiled fleetingly. Entwining their fingers together, he let their hands drop back down into the water. "Lindsey, I can't apologize for this. Cordelia's life was in jeopardy and you didn't really seem like you wanted to help. Maybe there was another way, but I didn't feel moved to look for it."

 

"I know that, Angel. I know I acted like I hated you, but it was always myself I hated. I hated what I'd become, the things I'd done to you...to them...to her. And I can't apologize because the things I did....those things can't be forgiven. So I look at this scar every day, I think about you, and every day, I remind myself that I may not be forgiven, but maybe I can be redeemed."

 

Angel gently pushed Lindsey forward so he could slide around and face him. He took the young man’s face in his hands and forced Lindsey to look at him. He needed to look into Lindsey’s eyes and watch his reaction to his next question. “Is that what you want Lindsey? Forgiveness? Redemption? Do you think I can give that to you?”

 

Lindsey’s eyes locked with the vampire’s. He knew that Angel was looking at him……watching him……waiting to see if he would lie to him. But Lindsey was through lying, to himself, to the man in front of him, to everyone. “Yes.”

 

Angel watched as Lindsey stared him down, then smiled at him. He knew that Lindsey was telling the truth. He loosened his grip on Lindsey’s face but let his fingers caress softly before dropping his hands back down to take Lindsey’s hands in his own. “But I can’t give it to you, Lindsey. You have to do it on your own and yes, it’s hard. Redemption comes with work, atonement, righting wrongs. Forgiveness comes with compassion and never forgetting those you hurt.”

 

“What about those who hurt me?”

 

“Forgive them, for that’s one way to learn compassion. But with that forgiveness can come guilt and that, my friend, is sometimes the hardest part of redemption.”

 

“Have you forgiven me, Angel?”

 

Angel smiled at Lindsey, “Yeah. Just don’t do any of it again, okay. Now, the water is getting cold, what say we get out of here and go someplace warmer and a lot more comfortable like maybe……your bed?”

 

“Thought you said this was the only place where you felt warm,” Lindsey said teasingly.

 

“I lied too then, cause there is one more place where I felt warm,” Angel said leaning in to kiss Lindsey’s lips.

 

“Where was that, Angel?” Lindsey asked nipping at Angel’s bottom lip before sucking it into his warm mouth.

 

"Inside you, Lindsey. I've never felt anything that damn hot under me before. And I would very much like to feel that again - but only if you want to.”

 

Lindsey blushed, and his breathing increased, and his heart....felt like...stopping. "As long as you return the favor. Remember, new at this?"

 

“Trust me Lindsey, you _will_ be inside me in more ways than one.”

 

Angel kissed Lindsey once more and then stood up and stepped out of the tub. After briskly drying off, he turned to help Lindsey and found the man behind him reaching around for the other towel.

 

“Bedroom is right through that door, right behind you.” Lindsey said smiling as he leaned over to plant another kiss on the vampire’s lips and take the towel from his hands. He watched as Angel took a much unneeded breath. “Why the breathing, Angel?”

 

“Because you’re smiling,” Angel said placing a gentle kiss on Lindsey’s forehead, “and it’s beautiful.” 

 

Lindsey blushed again, took Angel’s hand and led him into his bedroom.


	12. Chapter 11A  Sanctuary

Angel let Lindsey lead him into the bedroom and there he paused. The slight smell of wood and leather tickled his nose and the sight before him was one to behold. Soft light from a lamp on night stand displayed a room only a man would have. The king sized sleigh bed was a rich mahogany and had soft leather pillow-like inlays in the headboard. The matching night stands and armoire along with 2 comfortable looking leather chairs completed the furnishings in the room. There were various pieces of artwork scattered about the room.

 

Lindsey turned back to see why Angel had stopped and smiled at the rapt expression on the vampire’s face. Following Angel’s eyes, he tried to see what Angel saw. This was his room, his sanctuary, something he had never shared with another person and now he was sharing it with Angel. _Shit, what does that mean? He is-scratch that-WAS my number one enemy and now I’m sharing my bedroom with him? Fuck that, I’m about to share my BED with him. Lindsey boy, you are one twisted little man, you know that, don’t...._

 

"Lindsey," Angel watched as Lindsey jerked his head up and looked at him, "you’re doing it again."

 

"Doing what?"

 

"Thinking. I thought we had decided to _not_ do that until tomorrow."

 

"No, Angel, _you_ decided that." Lindsey smiled and walked over to Angel and grabbed the towel at the vampire’s waist and tugged on it lightly. He could feel the head of Angel’s cock with his fingertips, and leaving his hand right where it was, he pulled Angel over to the bed. 

 

"Lindsey, we need to get something straight here."

 

"Oh yeah, Angel," Lindsey ran his thumb down the length of Angel’s hard cock and began nuzzling Angel’s neck, licking and nipping all the way up to his mouth. "Seems to me that you’re already straight _here_." 

 

Angel grabbed the back of Lindsey’s neck and pulled him away, so he could think clearly. He looked into Lindsey’s eyes, saw that passion had darkened them to a deep, rich shade of blue _Dark blue looks good on him. What I wouldn’t give to keep him like this, forever. Make him truly mine._

 

Shaking off those thoughts he turned back to the problem at hand. Which, at the moment, was Lindsey’s hand stroking him, teasing him, bringing him out to play. _He’s gonna kill me at this rate. But....he feels so damn good, his hand is so damn warm. Don’t really want this to end right now. But if he doesn’t slow down, he’s liable to find himself face down on that bed, before he’s ready._

 

Lindsey watched as Angel drew in a deep, ragged, unneeded breath. He started to pull off the towel, but stopped when he felt Angel’s hand atop his own, halting his movements. 

Angel saw the question in Lindsey’s eyes and answered it before Lindsey could say it aloud. "Just stop for a minute, please."

 

Not wanting to give Angel time to regroup, but rather wanting to see the vampire lose control, Lindsey resumed his thumb stroking. Rubbing his two fingers against Angel's now weeping cock allowed Lindsey to lubricate the head and his fingers, working the foreskin, so he could stroke Angel's full length from the inside of the towel while his thumb worked Angel from the outside.

 

"Lindsey, dammit, you are going to kill me."

 

"Doubt that, but if you want to see how close we can get, well hell, I’m on board."

 

"Fuck, Lindsey. I mean it! Stop for a second. Let me say this."

 

Lindsey stopped his ministrations to Angel’s cock and just held the vampire carefully in his hands. He looked up into Angel’s eyes. "Say what, Angel? Don’t you want me?"

 

"Lindsey, I want you very much, but I don’t want a repeat performance of the earlier show. I don’t want to hurt you again, ever again. I was too rough and you didn’t deserve that. I want this -"

 

"What do you want, Angel?" Lindsey interrupted. "And just what do I deserve? _Tenderness, happiness……love?_ I never expected those things, so for me to be without them is no loss. Personally, I thought that you and I wanted the same thing."

 

"Which would be what, Lindsey?" _Why doesn’t he think he deserves those things? What makes him think that?_

 

"To no longer be alone, to be able to call someone home... no matter where you are,” Lindsey answered.

 

_So, Lindsey.....are you ready? Ready to come home....with me?_ Angel stared at the man before him and wanted to ask him to clarify that remark but Lindsey’s hands on his cock was making all rational thought exit his brain and letting pure feeling enter.

 

Lindsey pulled the towel from around Angel’s waist and let it drop to the floor. He stepped back and just stared at the man. "You know for a dead man, you are really hot. I wonder how many more out there look like you, I may have to check that out."

 

"Over my dead body, Lindsey. No one, and I mean _no one_ , dead or alive, better ever see you this way. You’re mine now." Angel punctuated each phrase with a firm kiss.

 

"Hell Angel, the way I see it, you’re already dead...so that sorta makes that _Over my dead body_ thing kinda null and void. But…………" Lindsey swooped in and kissed Angel before the vampire could utter a word of protest. "Let me finish…………But right now, _You, Angel_ , are the only person I want, dead or alive."

 

_Holy shit, he’s serious. He wants me, after all I’ve done. This is....good....right? No....no, it’s not....this is soooo not good. It’s too much, too soon. Isn’t it? Oh shit, and Angelus is right here, right under the surface of my skin. He wants Lindsey, as much as I do. Oh, fuck. There’s going to be blood shed here tonight. I just hope I can make it my own. He needs to be warned._

 

"Lindsey, you need to know something. Things might get a little…………out of control here and that scares me. I don’t-"

 

Lindsey put two fingers against Angel’s lips to quiet the vampire. "Angel, would you please shut up and fuck me?”

 

"Problem is that I don’t want to fuck you, Linds. I want to make love to you." Angel sucked Lindsey’s fingers into his mouth, laving each one thoroughly with his tongue. 

Lindsey’s eyes widened, his mouth dropped open and then closed as if his words were stuck in his throat. _Oh, god. What’s he saying? Am I ready for that? Am I ready to become Angel’s lover?_

 

Angel watched as a myriad of emotions flitted across Lindsey’s face. He saw shock, confusion, maybe a touch of happiness, and excitement. And the smell…………the smell of Lindsey’s arousal nearly knocked him off his feet. 

 

He smiled at the young man, placed his hands on Lindsey’s shoulders and gently pushed him down to the bed. "See Lindsey, it doesn’t always have to be about pain. _We_ don’t always have to be about pain. Yeah, I won’t deny that I enjoy pain and Angelus…………well, the more the better. But _I_ am a demon and _you_ are not. Pain has its place, it’s just not here, not right now."

 

Angel crawled up Lindsey’s body and straddled the young man, leaning down to capture Lindsey’s lips with his own. Still reeling from Angel’s announcement, Lindsey held himself still and unresponsive. But when Angel’s tongue gently probed along his lips, seeking entrance, he relented with a sound that was part sigh and part moan, opening his mouth in wordless invitation.

 

Angel took a moment to savor’s Lindsey’s scent, a musky, woodsy, spicy smell that he knew every nuance of from past encounters, then dove in for an even more intimate taste, slowly mapping every nook and niche of Lindsey’s mouth, tasting, teasing, tempting. _I think I could get seriously addicted to this....to him. Just kissing Lindsey makes me feel warm and strangely comforted. I know I could do this for eternity._

 

Angel’s hands traveled over Lindsey’s chest and abdomen, touching him, caressing him, methodically arousing him. He didn’t think he’d ever be able to get enough of this man. _He feels so unbelievably right beneath my hands. Could he really be the one?_ Angel began kissing and licking his way down Lindsey’s body, following the path his hands had just taken, his cool tongue leaving a wet trail along warm smooth skin. He paused, looking back up at Lindsey, "Think we can lose this now, don’t you?" 

 

Angel gently tugged open the towel still wrapped around the young man’s waist and watched as Lindsey’s cock sprang free. He watched his face as the blush appeared, wondered how the man under him could be so damn brazen and so damn innocent at the same time. The combination of fire and ice was driving Angel insane. He could see confusion in those blue eyes again, then Lindsey whispered, "Angel, I...maybe we shouldn’t do this. I....why are you looking at me that way?"

 

“Because Lindsey McDonald, you are an enigma. You blow hot and cold all at once, but you can’t hide what your body is saying to mine. I know just how aroused you are, Lindsey," Angel said. He touched his hand to the young man’s face, caressing it softly. "You honestly don’t want me to stop, do you?" _And underneath your desire you’re afraid. But not of me. No, never me. I’m beginning to believe you’re afraid of yourself._

 

The gentle touch of the vampire chased away all lingering doubt within Lindsey’s mind. "No, I don’t. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything in my whole life as badly as I want you, Angel."


	13. Chapter 11B  Erotic Answers

Angel smiled. "Just close your eyes, Lindsey," Angel softly said. "Stop fighting yourself, don’t think, just let yourself feel."

 

Lindsey closed his eyes and gave himself over to the vampire, enjoying the sensation of strong fingers stroking across his chest, massaging taut muscles, soothing the tension away. He arched into the touch, a small cry not unlike a sob escaping his lips when he felt Angel’s lips brush gently over the skin of his neck. Angel noticed again the sensitivity of Lindsey’s neck, but didn’t linger on the thought.

 

Angel took his time, exploring every inch of Lindsey’s body with fingers and tongue, tasting him, smelling him, learning him. He was fascinated with the man underneath him and watched transfixed as Lindsey’s muscles rippled under his ministrations. Every where he touched he felt hot, firm yet pliable skin, almost as if Lindsey’s body was made to mold itself in Angel’s hands, around Angel’s body. _Mine. He’s mine. Now, how do I convince him of that?_

 

Lindsey moaned quietly when Angel pushed his legs apart and settled between his thighs. The heat of desire he felt was incredible. He felt like he was truly on fire. And all the way down his body, he felt little electric shocks where Angel’s cool lips found his overheated skin.

 

Lying almost flat between Lindsey’s legs now, Angel gave himself over to his senses of taste, touch, and smell. The scent of Lindsey’s arousal was like an aphrodisiac to the vampire. So much so that he buried his nose in the light brown curls at the base of Lindsey’s cock and took a deep breath, enjoying the spicy, musky fragrance. Then wrapping a hand around the warm shaft, Angel began placing feather light kisses on the velvety skin.

 

Angel slowly ran his tongue around Lindsey’s erection, and then down and back up the length of his shaft. Lindsey softly moaned. As he flicked his tongue over the head, teasing the slit and tasting Lindsey’s pre-come, Angel felt fingers winding through his hair, heard that husky voice utter a strangled “Oh god....yes, please, Angel.” It had been so long since he had wanted to taste another man so intimately, and he craved Lindsey with a passion that surpassed anything he’d ever known. 

 

With a small sigh, Angel took Lindsey’s whole length into his mouth. As he gently suckled on the young man’s cock, he reached for his balls and began fondling them, wanting to memorize the weight and feel of them in his hand. 

 

Lindsey shivered as Angel's cool mouth wrapped around him. He moaned softly and his breath became a little ragged as he rocked up into the gentle sucking. "Feels good. Feels so damn good, Angel," he whispered. "Harder, please. Do it harder."

 

Angel felt the change in Lindsey before he heard the words and knew the man was close to coming. He released Lindsey from his mouth and smiled when he heard more words, words of disappointment this time, coming from the young man. 

 

"Nononono…………Don’t stop, Angel…………so close…………please!" Lindsey begged.

 

Angel, wrapping his hand around Lindsey’s cock and stroking him, leaned up and watched, mesmerized, at the young man underneath him. Head back, body arched, hips moving in time with Angel’s hand, Lindsey had lost all inhibitions, and it was a sight to behold. 

 

_He’s fucking beautiful. I shouldn’t be the one to see him like this, I haven’t earned it. But....here I am. What makes me special? Who hurt him in the past? Darla?_ Angel felt a fierce protectiveness towards the man who was rapidly taking residence in his heart and vowed that nothing, and no one would ever harm Lindsey again. Angelus’ growl of approval brought Angel back to the moment at hand. 

 

"Lindsey, do you have anything in that night stand there?" Angel asked, motioning to the small table next to the bed, easily within Lindsey’s reach.

 

"Like what?” Lindsey softly answered.

 

"Lotion, lube, anything that might make this a little easier, less painful, and a whole lot more enjoyable."

 

"Oh...yeah," Lindsey answered, a blush flooding his face once more as he reached into the drawer, took out a small bottle of lube and handed it to the vampire. Angel arched his eyebrow in question, but didn’t ask. Flipping open the bottle, he poured a small amount into his palm, then placed the bottle off to the side, out of the way, but still easily within reach. Angel leaned back down between Lindsey’s legs and took Lindsey’s hot length into his cool mouth once more.

 

"Oh shit, that feels good," Lindsey said, as his body arched into the coldness that was burning him up. He wound his fingers into Angel’s hair once more, fighting the desire to push Angel’s mouth onto him harder. He wanted to slowly ride this out, but he knew he wouldn’t last much longer. It felt too damn good.

 

Angel continued to suck Lindsey's engorged shaft as he slowly inserted a finger into Lindsey's passage, gently massaging to stretch and relax him. When Lindsey didn’t hesitate or shy away, he slowly inserted another finger and he began pumping them in and out slowly in rhythm with the movement of his mouth. A gasp of delight from Lindsey when Angel stroked across that spot inside the man that he knew was the prostate, urged Angel on. Stroking that spot again, receiving yet another gasp and the fingers wrapped in his hair began pushing him further down onto the cock in his mouth.

 

"Oh fuck, Angel." Lindsey hoarsely moaned, all his concentration on the fire Angel had created with his mouth, and the shocks of pleasure from the vampire's fingers inside his body had him hovering over the edge.

 

Angel licked the underside of Lindsey’s shaft, then sucked him back into his mouth; he inserted a third finger into the tight passage and began growling low in his throat, creating a sensual overload to Lindsey’s body.

 

Lindsey yelled and fisted his hands in Angel’s hair as he came, his warm semen pouring out of him and into that greedily sucking mouth. Angel swallowed it all, then licked Lindsey clean. Leaving his fingers inside Lindsey, he let the young man’s cock slip from his mouth and looked up at him, smiling when his eyes met the dark blue ones staring back at him in disbelief at what he’d just done.

 

"Holy Shit!" Lindsey said. _Damn! When he says he’s gonna do something, he fucking does it. Guess the phrase “safe sex” doesn’t mean much to a vampire, but....holy shit! Do you think he knows I’ve never had anyone actually do that without a condom on before? Judging from that sly grin....yeah, the fucker knows._

 

Angel’s smile turned into a toothy grin. "Told you I’d have you in me...one way or another." Angel moved up enough to kiss Lindsey full on the mouth, sharing the taste of the young man with him. Lindsey felt his whole body blush. Not giving Lindsey time to recover, Angel began slowly moving his fingers inside the young man’s body, gently stroking the sensitive spot, taking him higher, seducing him back to raw desire again. "I want you, Lindsey. I want to be inside you. Do you want that, Linds? Do you want me inside you?"

 

_Fuck, Angel, you already are. Can’t you see that? You’re in my head, my heart, under my damn skin, you’re everywhere._ Lindsey’s head screamed, none of it out loud. Noticing Angel had quit moving his hand, Lindsey realized Angel actually wanted a response from him, but the young man was afraid to say anything, in fear of what he’d blurt out.

 

So, he decided actions would speak louder than words. Reaching over and grabbing the bottle of lube, Lindsey poured some into his hand and took Angel’s erection in his hand. He ran his fingers lightly over Angel’s cock, loving the feel of satiny skin and throbbing hardness. Sliding back the foreskin he massaged Angel’s pre-come into the head.

 

Angel was losing control – fast. Lindsey’s hands were driving him to the edge. He wanted – _no, needed_ \-- to be inside the young man when he came, so Lindsey’s explorations would have to wait.

 

Reaching underneath Lindsey, he grabbed the back of the young mans thighs and pulled him up and positioned himself so that the head of his cock was pressed against Lindsey’s slicked, stretched opening. Angel leaned over and kissed Lindsey, then slowly pushed past the twitching ring of muscle and into the silken heat beyond. _Oh, god....he’s so damn tight. Feels so good._

 

Angel held still, waited patiently for a sign to continue before repeating the movement. Lindsey had sharply inhaled at his entrance, but hadn’t tried to pull away. Lindsey looked into his eyes and softly said, "I’m ready now." The relief Angel felt at the feel of Lindsey relaxing around him would have dropped him to his knees, had he been standing.

 

As Angel began to move in and out, he heard a quiet little moan. His heart did an odd little flip flop. Angel could hear tiny, breathless moans and gasps coming from Lindsey every time his cock rubbed against that sensitive spot deep inside the man. It drove Angel crazy, made him move faster, harder, and then changing the angle so he could shove more of his length inside Lindsey’s enticing heat. And Lindsey was moving in unison with Angel now, creating a strange yet familiar connection between them.

 

Angel looked down and noticed Lindsey’s cock was hard again. Using one hand for balance, he took that silken hardness in his hand and began stroking him. Gently at first, then gradually getting a little rougher as he felt the pressure slowly rising within him.

 

Angel could feel the demon clawing at him from within. It wanted to taste Lindsey, to mark him, to turn him. _I promised him no pain. I won’t hurt him again....not that way. But god....I can smell his blood pumping under the surface of his skin. I can feel the heat of it. No....no....no. I won’t bite you, I won’t. No blood._

 

Lindsey felt the jerky, seemingly out of control movements Angel was making on his cock and looked up at the vampire. He realized Angel was fighting for control. If the yellow tinging the chocolate brown eyes wasn’t enough of a clue, the fangs were. He could hear Angel’s quiet murmurings of _no blood, no blood..._

 

Lindsey, following some deep instinct, placed his left hand, his own hand, over the vampire's heart. He met Angel's eyes with his own and softly said, "Stay with me, Angel. I'll help you. What can I do? I don’t know what to do, tell me what to do." 

 

"Touch me, Lindsey, squeeze me. Hard."

 

Lindsey ran his hands over Angel’s chest, savoring the feel of the vampire’s skin under his hands. He gently rubbed Angel’s nipples, and then tugged on them. Levering himself up on one hand he replaced the hand with his mouth. Tongue and teeth, licking and biting at Angel’s body. 

 

Moving up to Angel’s neck, he began kissing and nipping at the distended vein he found there. Angel moaned and started pounding into him even harder. The sounds he made excited Lindsey to a fever pitch. He started teasing Angel with his teeth. "Lindsey…………oh…………fuck……………………yeah……………………that’s it……"

 

Lindsey felt his own orgasm building and ran his hand back up to Angel’s left nipple and pinched it hard, causing Angel to slam deep inside of him. Lindsey’s orgasm ripped through him at the feel of it, and instinct rode him again, making him sink his teeth into Angel’s neck, breaking the skin. Tasting blood. Angel’s blood. Feeling Lindsey’s teeth in his neck sent Angel following Lindsey over the edge, spilling his seed into Lindsey’s silken heat. 

 

Lindsey was reeling from everything that had just happened. His thoughts were a confused jumble, and when Angel leaned down, pressing his lips to his own, Lindsey kissed him back with a fervor that surprised the vampire. 

 

The taste of his own blood in Lindsey's mouth was something else Angel hadn't expected from the encounter with the lawyer. He broke the kiss off and looked down at the man under him. "Holy shit, Lindsey."

 

"Yeah," Lindsey said.

 

"I mean....holy shit." Angel repeated.

 

"I think we got that one covered, Angel," Lindsey cockily said.

 

Angel slowly smiled at him. "So Linds, did that answer your question?"

 

Lindsey blinked and couldn't remember anything right now beyond the last few minutes. "What question?"

 

"I thought you wanted to know what it would feel like if I screwed you until you couldn't move?"

 

Lindsey grinned as he recalled asking that. "Damn good answer," Lindsey said, smiling.


	14. Chapter 12  Blood Play

Angel rolled onto his side, turning Lindsey so they faced each other. He was smiling, because....damn, Lindsey was grinning. His eyes were all lit up, he was relaxed, and Angel had never seen him that way before. _I made Lindsey happy. I put that look in his eyes. It was me....me, me, me._ Couldn’t believe the man was looking at him like that. And it was something Angel realized he wanted to see for the rest of his life. 

 

_He’s smiling. I made Angel smile._ His stomach felt funny, his heart felt like it was melting, a part of him felt like he was dying, but Lindsey couldn’t help it. Angel smiling was the best damn thing he’d ever seen. _Okay, okay. I’ll admit it to myself. I’m completely hopeless when it comes to Angel. I think I’m...in...love...with...Angel. There. I thought it. Yeah, I am. I really am. See? That wasn’t hard._ Then he did the only thing he could think of....cause he wasn’t gonna say that. _No way. Nuh uh._ So Lindsey kissed Angel, and he put everything he felt into it. 

 

Angel knew this kiss held something different, but he didn’t want to put too much hope into it. After all, Lindsey had let him down before. But he went with it, returning the kiss with everything he had. _God, I just.....I have to talk him into going home with me. I can’t leave him here. I can’t leave him. I need him too much._ His thoughts went blank when the man in his arms started kissing his face, tugging at his ear with his teeth, then Lindsey softly sighed _Angel_ into his ear and first kissed, then licked the wound at Angel’s neck.

 

A wave of desire shot through him, and although Lindsey seemed none too concerned about Angelus, Angel certainly was. He’d nearly lost it just a few minutes ago, Lindsey had pulled him back from the edge, but.... _Oh, fuck_...Lindsey was sucking on his neck again, reopening the wound he had made earlier. _Oh, fuck me! He’s drawing blood!_ Lindsey was rocking his body against his and roaming his hands over Angel’s body.

 

_Yes, Lindsey, that’s right. Take me, taste me._ Angel used one hand to press Lindsey’s body harder against him, while the other touched his head, urging the other man on. _He’s hard again. What’s Lindsey been doing to his body the last two years?_ Angel’s mind went blank once more at the realization he’d found someone who liked to play at it as hard as he did.

 

What he did next was without thought or planning, but it wasn’t Angelus who did it. It was Angel. He sank his fangs into Lindsey. The young man he held in his arms moaned in ecstasy, which took them both into orgasm, and shocked both into reality again. They broke apart and looked at each other.

 

Lindsey went very pale and slapped a hand over his mouth. _Oh my God! I just...I just fed from him! Know I’m twisted but, man.....that’s sick!_ His eyebrows rose almost into his hairline. _I was rubbing against him like a bitch in heat while I did it!_

 

Angel could almost SEE the thoughts scream across his face. It was too much, he couldn’t stop the laughter from erupting. 

 

Then the eyebrows went back down as Lindsey frowned at Angel’s laughter. _That’s not funny. Why the fuck is he laughing?_ And then the eyebrows rose again as he thought _Oh god....the fucking bastard bit me! And....and I came when he did it!_ Lindsey was so freaked out, he tried to move away, but Angel caught him. 

 

"Lindsey, no. It’s alright, it’s okay," Angel said as he pulled the young man back into his embrace. "Shh, calm down, you’re not going to die. You aren’t going to turn, I promise. Look, I’m sorry I laughed, but you should’ve seen your face."

 

"That wasn’t very fucking funny, Angel. My God, why didn’t you stop me?"

 

"I couldn’t, Lindsey. I got too caught up in what you were doing. Damn, that was hot. What made you do that?"

 

_Had a moment of clarity....then lost my fucking mind. But no way I’m telling **you** that._ “I was just....I don’t know. Following an instinct? But.....why did you bite me? What the hell was that, huh?"

 

"Well, hell, Lindsey....who bit who first?"

 

"I did, but....it seemed like you were fighting for control and....my God, Angel. You didn’t want to kill me, did you?"

 

Angel tilted Lindsey’s face up to his. "No, Lindsey. It was only the demon wanting what just happened between us, that’s all."

 

"And what did just happen?"

 

"A vampire sex thing. I just marked you, that’s all. You’ll have a small scar, Lindsey. But I didn’t claim you." Angel caressed Lindsey’s face, and bent his head to gently kiss him.

 

"What’s the difference?" Lindsey whispered.

 

"A claiming is forever, Lindsey. It binds the soul of the human to the vampire. I’ve never done it before." 

 

"Oh," Lindsey said. He made that half snort/half laugh sound. "Well, can’t have you doing that. Already turned into a blood sucking bitch in heat. Don’t really want to know what _claiming me_ would do."

 

Angel was partly amused and partly wanting to talk the man he was holding into letting it happen. "Lindsey, it’s not just a matter of me claiming you. It’s a consensual thing. It can’t happen unless you agree. It would mean that you would be bound to me for eternity…… do you think it’s something you might want?”

 

_Bound for eternity? Shit, I think that happened in a courtroom in LA._ Lindsey thought. _And what would you say if I told the truth and said yes?_ But he wasn’t up to that conversation just yet, so he told Angel, “I don’t think I’m ready for that right now. Maybe later." 

 

Angel smiled and kissed him lightly. _He didn’t laugh. He didn’t say no._ The words _Maybe later_ reverberating in his mind, Angel said, "What are you ready for?"

 

_Forever. Tomorrow. The rest of my life. As long as you’re part of it._ Lindsey closed his eyes. He couldn’t say that. It was too soon. "Sleep sounds good. Are you going to stay?"

 

Angel glanced around the room, at the heavy draperies that would prevent any sunlight from entering. He looked back down at his lover. "It’s been awhile since I woke up in someone’s arms, Lindsey. I’d like that, if you don’t mind."

 

Lindsey smiled, and moved to put the lube on the night stand. Then he reached into the drawer and removed a small box of personal cleaning wipes. When Angel saw what he held, he plucked them out of Lindsey’s hands and said, "Let me. I want to see what damage I caused you." 

 

Lindsey blushed again. _Damn, is he always like that?_ He knew protesting was useless, so he tried to relax while Angel got personal with his body. _Guess so. Damn, hasn’t Angel got any sense of personal privacy? Ouch. Guess not. Wait.....does he think I’m his now? Damn, he said that, didn’t he?_

 

Angel knew Lindsey was embarrassed, but he wanted to see what he’d done that first time. There was small damage, but nothing major. A little bruising. Lindsey was going to be sore later. He heard Lindsey wince, so he distracted him with a question. "Why did you have lube in the night stand, any way?"

 

Lindsey’s blush deepened, and he couldn’t think. "I was...uh. Using it to....uh...."

 

Angel chuckled. "Jerk off?"

 

"Yeah," Lindsey softly said.

 

"It turns me on when you blush like that, Lindsey. I know you’re doing it because of me. Oh, by the way, I don’t think you’re a bitch in heat."

 

"What am I then, Angel?" Lindsey replied, sighing in relief as Angel stopped his ministrations, then took care of himself, and put the wipes back in the night stand. He pulled back the covers and slid under them. Angel got behind him, pulling Lindsey’s back against him so they lay spooned together. Lindsey felt safe and content, something he couldn’t recall ever being before.

 

Angel softly said, "You’re a very sensual man with strong appetites, Lindsey. You’ve driven your body to the point where you could finally accept what’s between us. You’ve come out to play, but you’re still a little unsure, a little wary of me. You’re being cautious, but with the straightforwardness I’ve always admired you for. You fascinate me, and you know what? I like you, Lindsey McDonald." 

 

"Thank you," Lindsey whispered, closing his eyes, a smile on his face....because Angel understood.

 

Angel held Lindsey and listened to his breathing slow as he drifted into sleep. Shortly before he did, Lindsey softly said, "I like being in your arms, Angel."

 

Angel softly whispered into his ear, "I like holding you, Lindsey." He smiled as the young man sighed and relaxed into sleep. He lay there a long time listening to him breathe. Listening to Lindsey’s heart beat. 

 

Wondering about the tattoo, and hating the fact that there was a part of Lindsey he couldn’t touch, couldn’t make his. Angel softly ran his hand over the outside of Lindsey’s left arm. Tight muscles under smooth skin. Lindsey sighed in his sleep. His body seemed to burrow deeper into Angel’s. 

 

Angel smiled and gently rubbed his nose into Lindsey’s hair, inhaling the scent of it. Lindsey made a soft noise in the back of his throat, and whispered _“Angel”_ His body temperature rose slightly. But his breathing was still shallow, so Angel knew he was still sleeping. _“Touch me,”_ Lindsey murmured. 

 

Angel was touched to know the sort of dreams Lindsey had been having. Sounded a lot nicer than his had been. He smiled and rubbed his cheek against Lindsey’s hair. _“Not....made of glass...hurt me....just a little.....oh yes.....”_

 

Oh, man. Lindsey had told the truth about the pain. His scent changed into that ardent arousal that came with pain/pleasure. Angel was immensely gratified to realize he held in his arms everything he’d always wanted. _“Take me, Angel. Make me yours. Please....yes, Angel....please.”_ Then Lindsey bared his throat in a way Angel knew meant he was offering his blood in the dream. _“Do it, Angel.....please. I want it. I want you to.”_

 

_Holy hell._ Lindsey must be nearing the end of the dream. If he blushed over telling Angel what he used for self-gratification, he was going to be totally mortified if he climaxed in his sleep while Angel held him. So, the vampire did the only thing he could think of. He bent his head to the place on Lindsey’s neck where his mark was and gently sucked on it.

 

And it worked. Lindsey went still again, but he didn’t wake up. Lindsey’s voice was now laced with emotion as he said softly in his sleep what he couldn’t bring himself to while conscious. " _Can’t run away from fate....can’t stop wanting you.......can’t forget you.....forgive me, Angel.....love you...think I always did......can’t stop it....can’t have a normal life....never......cause of the firm....Darla, please, no....I’m sorry...sorry....so sorry......_ " Then Lindsey went quiet in Angel’s arms, deeply asleep now, leaving one very elated and confused vampire wide awake.


	15. Chapter 13  Bared Souls

Lindsey slowly awakened, at first his mind was fuzzy, sleepy, but then he became aware of several things. First, he was a little chilly. Second, he wasn’t alone in his bed, something he had always been since he’d moved into this house. Third, the reason he was chilly was because the other person sharing his bed was Angel. Fourth, he had dreamed about the vampire again, but this time, he hadn’t awoken sticky, feeling nasty and disgusted with his lack of control over his body while sleeping. Fifth, Angel had taken him the way Lindsey had pretty much expected him to. Sixth, he was sore in new places.

 

Last, and oh my God, not least, Angel had made love to him and it had been the most intense experience of Lindsey’s life. Giving himself over to Angel, letting his inhibitions go, just trusting the vampire, even the blood play Lindsey himself had initiated...it was everything Lindsey had wanted when he’d called Angel. He had wanted to feel. Well, waking up in the arms of the vampire had him feeling a lot of things. The most important feeling of all was....he felt whole, for the first time in his life. 

 

He was in love with Angel. That said it all. Their lives were somehow connected, he wasn’t sure how or why, but Wolfram & Hart, fate and destiny aside, even if Angel never returned his affections......Lindsey knew he belonged with the vampire.

 

He was startled out of his thoughts when Angel placed a kiss on his shoulder. Lindsey smiled and turned around to face the vampire. Angel caressed the side of the young man’s face and asked, "Regrets?"

 

Lindsey softly said, "No, Angel. No regrets."

 

"You dreamed about me, Lindsey," Angel said. "I know you told me that when you called, but....Lindsey, you dreamed I was making love to you. You whispered things to me in your sleep.....things that made me want so much."

 

Lindsey was shocked. He’d talked in his sleep? Oh, God. And, Angel looked like he wanted things. He just wasn’t sure he was going to like what those things were. The vampire looked really serious. _Damn, just what had he blurted out in his sleep, anyhow?_ "What did I say? And what do you want?"

 

Angel grinned. "Well, you wanted me to touch you. You wanted me to take you. And you wanted me to hurt you.... _just so,_ by the smell of your arousal. If you want, I can do all those things. We can play as hard as you want. But the last thing you did, Lindsey.....it shocked me. I couldn’t believe it. You bared your throat for me. Do you dream that every time?"

 

"Yes, I do," Lindsey whispered. "I know how twisted that makes me, Angel."

 

Angel chuckled. "Well, yes, you are, but only someone twisted would get involved with me, in the first place and you know more about me than most. So, I’m thinking that’s kind of a non-issue here. See, the thing is, only two humans have ever done that for me before. Both times it was to save my life. And that’s not what you were doing. You were doing it because you _wanted_ me that way, too. We made love, and you _took_ it that way. You never even stopped to _think_ about it. You did it out of some instinct, and when _Lindsey McDonald_ does something like that without thinking, not just once, but twice, there’s a problem."

 

Lindsey said, "I fail to see the problem, unless your blood is gonna harm me."

 

Angel said in exasperation, " _That’s the problem!!!!!_ You’re not seeing Angelus at all. You only see me. And that’s bad, because he wants you as much or more than I do. Lindsey......I hate to ask, after the progress we’ve made, but I have to. I’m sorry, I really am." Then Angel stopped talking, and pulled Lindsey into his arms, kissing him hard, desperate now....because he didn’t _want_ to ask. 

 

Of course, being only human, Lindsey shortly needed to breathe. He struggled until Angel let him go. While catching his breath, they just looked at each other. The vampire’s nose twitched, and he growled softly. Lindsey raised an eyebrow, grinned wickedly at Angel for a few seconds, but then he got serious again. "Only one reason I can think of for what you just did. You want to know if I’m playing some kind of mind game with you, trying to make you go all dark again. Isn’t that right?" Angel shook his head yes, but he was stroking Lindsey’s back, trying to make up for his doubts. 

 

Lindsey touched Angel’s face, lightly caressing it. "Angel, there’s nothing else you could possibly think. Why would you? Trust is something I’m going to have to earn from you. You can’t blindly give it to me, not after all I’ve done to you. I understand, I’m not angry and I’ll answer your question flat-out. I’m not playing any mind game here, I’m through with that. When I said I wanted you more than anything I’ve ever wanted in my whole life, I meant just that. And the reason I don’t see the problem is because I believe the whole Angel/Angelus thing is just one big mind-fuck."

 

Angel’s hand stilled. " _What?_ "

 

"You heard me. When I look at you, Angel.... _I see you._ Not just a part of you, the part with the soul, but all of you. I see the good as well as the evil, and I can’t separate it, because we’re alike, you and I. You know, the world isn’t only white or black. There are a few shades of gray in the spectrum and I think that's where we belong, Angel," Lindsey said.

 

"Lindsey, that way of thinking is going to get you hurt. Believe me, I know."

 

"I’m not afraid of you, Angel," Lindsey softly said, inching forward a little, until his mouth hovered just shy of touching the vampire’s. "I never was. I want you, all of you." 

 

"Lindsey, do you know what you’re playing at?"

 

"Hmm," Lindsey hummed, then gently kissed Angel, coaxing his mouth open, warming it with his own, tempting him into play, caressing Angel’s tongue, his teeth, making love with his mouth, while his hands touched the vampire’s body. He softly kissed his way to Angel’s ear, and he whispered, "I want to warm your body with mine, Angel. I want to touch you, taste you, hold you, so close you can feel my heart beat, as if it were your own. I want you to let your need for control go, let it go and let me love you. I need to be inside of you, like you were inside of me. Let me, Angel. I want you so much." 

 

The words _let me love you_ echoing in his mind, Angel was rendered speechless. The sound of Lindsey’s voice had always done things to him. But the words he’d just whispered into Angel’s ear sent a wave of heat coursing through the vampire’s body, straight to his groin, into his brain, where the words _let me love you_ screamed for an answer.

 

Lindsey’s hands caressing, seducing, arousing him, gentle and so soothing, yet firm and knowing..... _Damn, he’s good. But I can’t let go, Angelus would come out....and I won’t let him hurt Lindsey. But, God, I want this. I want him._

 

"Lindsey, wait. Stop a minute, please," Angel raggedly said. 

 

"I don’t wanna stop. I want to make love to you, until you can’t think of anything.......anything except me. I want to make you to feel the way I do, when you touch me. I need you to feel that hot, sweet hunger your body feels when you surrender yourself. I want so much for you to know what I felt like, when you made love to me. God, I just want to be inside of you, the way you’re inside of me....in your mind, in your blood, in your heart. Body and soul, Angel."

 

Angel looked at him, saw the open honesty in his face, and was stunned at the emotion he could see blazing in Lindsey’s eyes. Now, instead of _let me love you_ , the words _body and soul_ became Angel’s entire focus.

 

_Does Lindsey really love me or is he just feeling so much desire it only sounds like it? Am I reading more into this than there is? If he really wants this, he’s going to have to let me bind our souls in a claiming. It’s the only way to keep him safe from Angelus. And why do I get the impression Lindsey thinks his soul is bound to mine already?_

 

"Lindsey, I need you to calm down, and listen to me, alright?"

 

"I don’t want to calm down, I want to make love to you. Don’t you want me to?"

 

"Yes, Lindsey, I do. Very much so, but I.....there are some questions I need answered first. It’s really important, okay?"

 

Lindsey softly growled. He closed his eyes, laid his head back on the pillow, and sighed. _How important can it be??? I came as close to saying "I love you" as I could, and you wanna talk?_ But he couldn’t say that, because he didn’t think Angel would believe it. 

 

Yet, Lindsey was so frustrated, he just had to say something. “Christ on a crutch, my body’s on fire, I want you so bad I hurt, and you wanna TALK? I’m so worked up over you, I can’t fucking see straight any more, and you wanna TALK?” Lindsey sarcastically said, and sighed again, willing his body to relax, trying to find some semblance of control.

 

Angel just smiled.

 

"Fine, Angel," he said. "Ask me what you want, but hurry the hell up, please. You’re fucking killing me here. You know that, right?" Angel chuckled. Lindsey glared at him. "It’s not funny, Angel."

 

"Yeah, it is. You’re so cute when you have a _Lindsey fit_."

 

His eyebrows raised in surprise on hearing that phrase, Lindsey said, "A Lindsey fit? What the hell do you mean, _a Lindsey fit?_ "

 

"You know, when you get so mad, your accent comes out, you can hardly form a complete sentence, you say really immature things, and you’re so turned on, you can’t think. It’s just so damned cute."

 

Lindsey snorted. "I’m glad you find me so fucking funny." 

 

"Oh, come on. Don’t tell me you don’t know how cute you are when you do that."

 

"I am not!"

 

"You are, too."

 

"I am _not_ cute!"

 

"Yes, you are. It’s all I can do not to kiss you silly when you get all huffy."

 

Lindsey growled at Angel again. "Just ask your questions already, okay?"

 

Angel said, "Did you really love Darla?"

 

Lindsey felt like Angel had just thrown ice cold water over his entire body.


	16. Chapter 14  Memories

Lindsey closed his eyes against the images flooding his mind. Her blonde hair, those brown eyes, that softly seductive, so deceiving voice. 

 

He felt sick, the way he always did when the images of her managed to surface. He’d always been able to ruthlessly suppress them, back deep into his mind. Just pretend it never happened, that it was some dream, that it didn’t matter. It had always been so damn easy to do that for him, to feel nothing, no remorse, no guilt....it was what had allowed him to do all he had. 

 

It wasn’t happening this time.

 

Angel was alarmed at the emotions flickering across Lindsey’s face. He wished he’d kept his mouth shut about Darla. He thought he was seeing revulsion in the expression on his face. He thought he saw repulsion there, as well. Lindsey was fighting to reassert the blank expression he had mastered, the one Angel had always hated but for some reason, it looked like he couldn’t do it. Angel was at a loss as to whether that was a good thing or not, in this situation. _I’m sorry. I take it back. Just please...please, don’t regret all that’s been between us. Not now._

 

Lindsey quietly said, "I talked about her in my sleep?"

 

"Yes," Angel softly said.

 

"What did I say?" Lindsey whispered.

 

"You kept saying you were sorry."

 

Lindsey flinched. He opened his eyes, looked at Angel, and he tried desperately to quell the emotions welling up in him, the memories punching their way into his conscious mind. But it all came fourth, he’d opened his heart to Angel, and there was no turning back. The past crowded into his mind, he saw it all with perfect recall, and it ate at him like acid, it burned into him like a brand, it was in surround sound and his own words came back to haunt him.

 

_I don’t want her to die, any more than you do._

 

_I’d save her, if I could. You can, and you won’t._

 

_How did you think this would end?_

 

The truth Lindsey had so long denied to himself washed over him, and his stomach revolted. He ran to the bathroom and was violently ill. He vaguely registered the sounds of Angel moving around in the bedroom. He flushed the toilet, and moved to the sink, rinsing his mouth out, brushing his teeth, and then he looked at himself in the mirror a long time.

 

A soft knock on the door, and Angel’s voice saying, "Are you okay in there?" brought him back to the present. 

 

"Yeah," Lindsey replied. "Be out in a minute." _Okay? Haven’t been okay in a long time. Don’t think I’ll ever be okay again._

 

He looked at his reflection one more time, then put on the robe that was hanging on the door. He never felt like sex less in his whole life. Apparently neither did Angel, who had redressed in his pants, and put his shirt back on, although he hadn’t buttoned it. 

 

Lindsey knew he was probably confused about what he’d done. _How can I explain the way I feel? God, how can Angel even look at me, after what I’ve done? Why didn’t he kill me....I don’t deserve to live._

 

"Feel better now?" Angel softly said.

 

"Not really, no." Lindsey grimaced. "I’m sorry about that, Angel. I don’t know what you’re thinking, but my being sick, it had nothing to do with what’s happened here. It’s not about that at all."

 

Nearly shaking in relief, Angel said, "What made you sick, then....if it wasn’t me?"

 

"I do, Angel. _I make myself sick._ " Lindsey sighed and said, "You know, I finally understand why she broke the mirrors. I never did before now, you know. But.....I know why now. It’s an awful thing to look at your own reflection....to look at yourself, and know you’re looking at a murderer."

 

Angel said, "I understand.....but, Lindsey-"

 

"You asked me if I loved her," Lindsey interrupted. "Well, the answer is, yes, I did. I loved her. I loved everything about her and how can you even look at me, knowing what I did? You tried to tell me, but I wouldn’t listen. You tried to tell me what she truly was, but I was so blind with desire for her, I didn’t care. Because I thought I saw things in her that you never did, saw what she could’ve been. I suppose I was only seeing what I wanted to, though. Maybe....maybe I thought, if I could save her, I could save myself."

 

Angel could relate to that. He smiled. "I know what you mean, Lindsey." 

 

Lindsey said, "You know, most of my life, I haven’t felt anything real. I’ve gone through life with this emptiness inside, and it was killing me. But there was something about her that gave me hope." 

 

He raised his face to look right into Angel’s eyes, so the vampire would know that Lindsey realized the enormity of what he’d done. "I was so desperate not to lose that feeling, not to lose her, that I killed what I loved in order for her to continue to exist. I know Wolfram & Hart maneuvered me into doing it, and I know Holland Manners was the mastermind behind the whole thing. But that doesn’t matter. Neither does the fact that I didn’t do it with my own hands."

 

Angel softly said, "Because you had a moment of choice. But, Lindsey, they would’ve done it anyway. There truly was nothing you could have done to save Darla."

 

"Don’t you see? It’s not just Darla herself. I’m responsible for everyone she killed, because I set the evil free...I let it loose. And I didn’t turn away from her after that, Angel. I helped her, while you were trying to stop her. I was so lost that even when she taunted me, made fun of my love for her, I still helped her. I hid her from the firm, from you. God, I was such a love sick fool, and she used me. And used me. And used me. And I let her do it."

 

"Why did you do that? I always wondered," Angel asked.

 

"Because I thought...I thought, if only she would love me, it wouldn’t matter...it wouldn’t matter that you didn’t. It wouldn’t matter to me if you hated me. I thought...if I could only make her love me, I’d forget I’d ever even wanted you. But Darla......she only wanted you. She only thought about you. She even laughed at me, Angel. That knowledge twisted me up inside. It finally killed what little hope I had left. And, God help me, I think part of the reason I did it....was to spite you." 

 

Feeling a little hurt, even though he’d suspected that all along, Angel said, "Why?" 

 

"You said I wasn’t capable of love. And you said neither were you. That moment...I think I came close to hating you in that moment. I was so angry and _hurt_ that some of what happened after you left my apartment, I still don’t remember. But I’ll always remember what happened at the motel. The look of fear on her face...I put it there. I killed her, Angel. _I killed Darla_." 

 

It was at this point Lindsey broke completely. In tears, desperate to stop the pain, he couldn’t stop the words from rushing out. "I’m sorry, I’m sorry......I’m so sorry. My heart hurts, Angel. I can’t stand it. It hurts, I hurt, I feel like I’m dying inside, help me, please."

 

Angel enfolded Lindsey within his embrace and just held him while the young man cried his bitter tears. His heart hurt, because there wasn’t much else he could do to help him. He thought on all Lindsey had said, and he realized that he’d failed the young man in a way he hadn’t even thought of before. Lindsey had been around 24 years old when they’d met. He hadn’t been with Wolfram & Hart long, 6 months at most. He must’ve worked that brain of his like mad to get where he’d been. No mean feat, that....and all Angel had seen was that cold, hard blankness that he instantly came to loath.

 

But underneath that, Lindsey had just been a young man. Coming from his part of the country.....it was no wonder he’d freaked out when he’d realized the attraction between them was sexual in nature. Coming on top of all he’d learned upon employment at Wolfram & Hart, about demons, vampires, things of that persuasion....it was no wonder at all. Angel suddenly questioned what he’d have done, if he’d found out he was bisexual when he’d been mortal. Of course, back then, that wasn’t even a word.

 

_And let’s face it, I wasn’t exactly what you’d call moral and upstanding, was I? I wasn’t much older than Lindsey was, the night Darla took me. Drunk and going to steal my father’s silver. If I’d met a man then that I was attracted to....I may have been quite upset at first. But then I’d have been as perverse about it as possible, just to do it...to piss my father off._

 

Lindsey had the reality of not only adjusting to bisexuality, but adjusting to the fact that he was attracted to a vampire. And, from his own words, not only that, but was actually turned on by the demon itself. Aroused by rough hands on his body. Desire heightened by the thought of fangs in his neck during the sex act itself. None of which was the middle-American idea of normal. Even though the last half-century had seen a radical change in disposition towards alternate lifestyles, necrophilia was not an acceptable thing, even in enlightened places, such as LA. It must have been the shock of a lifetime when the truth had dawned on Lindsey. 

 

He must have seen Darla as some sort of lifeline to the normality he’d unknowingly craved, because he was so busy denying to himself the truth of what he was. _I’ve been wrong in blaming him for that. If only I’d tried a little harder to understand...._ And as frail and vulnerable as Darla had appeared while human....it was inevitable Lindsey would fall for her. She must have appealed to every instinct instilled in Lindsey, Southern-born and bred. It couldn’t have happened any other way.

 

That bastard Holland Manners had pushed and maneuvered Lindsey every step of the way. Had he known that Lindsey was one of those humans that attract vampires like a magnet? Was that the reason he’d put the young lawyer, whose true talent to Wolfram & Hart _should_ have been in the courtroom, in charge of a project to turn me to the darkness? Is that the reason Lindsey had been given the care of Darla, who had kept coming back to him, even though she hadn’t wanted him? They’d even had him dealing with Drusilla. In the long run, just how much of what had happened had truly stemmed from Lindsey’s own initiative?

 

Angel shook off these thoughts when he became aware the young man in his arms was quiet now, and Lindsey was holding onto him as if to draw strength from his body. Angel said, "Feel better now?"

 

Lindsey softly said, "Not really. I feel sort of drained. Kind of empty."

 

Angel tilted Lindsey’s face so he could look down into it. "I can help you, Lindsey, but I can’t take away your guilt or your pain. You’ll have to work on that yourself. All I can do is be there for you, to hold you like I am now, to stand beside you and support you, if I can. And I can’t condemn you for what happened, how could I? I’ve done worse than you ever will."

 

Lindsey looked into Angel’s eyes, and was never more grateful for anything in his life as he was to see the understanding residing in those brown eyes. The relief he felt nearly drove him to his knees. Angel felt the tension leave Lindsey’s body and tightened his hold on him, then he led him to sit on the side of the bed. 

 

Angel knelt in front of the young man, and said, "I believe you were saying you wanted to make love to me. Something about me letting control go. Well, I’ve decided it’s not about control. It’s about discovery. About exploration. About awareness. I want to see your face while you do all those things. I want to you to know how I feel when I’m inside you. I want to feel your skin sliding slick against mine when you’re inside me, and I want you to know my body the way I’ve known yours. Do you still want that, Lindsey?"


	17. Chapter 15  The Letter

Lindsey smiled slightly. He reached out, placing his hand against the side of the vampire’s face, rubbing his thumb softly on Angel’s cheek. He said, "Yes, I do, but right now.....right now, I just want you to crawl under the covers with me, and hold me in your arms. I need that, Angel."

 

Nodding his head in understanding, Angel stood up, removing his clothing while Lindsey removed his robe. They got back in bed, and Lindsey slid into Angel’s embrace, laying his head against Angel’s chest. 

 

The vampire wondered what it was like for Lindsey, listening to the lack of a heartbeat within his body. Being held in the coldness of his embrace. As much as he wanted Lindsey, he wondered why the young man in his arms could gain such comfort from him.

 

If Lindsey had known Angel’s thoughts, he would have told him it was a very simple thing. He made Lindsey feel safe, loved and wanted. It was something Lindsey had never felt in the presence of any other being in his whole life. 

 

He didn’t care that Angel wasn’t human. He didn’t care what Angel had done in his long history. All his family was gone, his few friends might miss him for awhile, but Lindsey felt that Angel was the only one who might truly care if he lived or died.

 

Angel felt the young man relax in his arms, and Lindsey fell into a deep, dreamless, healing sleep. The vampire realized what it was, and he didn’t disturb Lindsey, who had finally come to terms with his past actions, and Angel knew he was sleeping more soundly than he undoubtedly had since the death of Darla.

 

That’s when he realized what he had to do. He couldn’t ask Lindsey to come to LA. The young man was going to have to make that decision on his own. Angel couldn’t influence him in that decision, because then he would never know if Lindsey wanted him of his own free will or not. 

 

He gently removed himself from Lindsey, and got dressed. He looked at his lover a long time, then sent out to find implements to write Lindsey a letter. Taking care not to awaken him, Angel laid the single, folded note beside the young man and left, ignoring all the instincts urging him to turn back, afraid this was the last he would see of the man who held a deeper place in his heart than he had ever suspected.

 

 

*************************************

 

 

It was past noon when Lindsey awoke. He slowly opened his eyes, awareness of all that had occurred the night before drifting though his mind. He knew instantly Angel was gone. He also knew it couldn’t have ended any other way. He’d known that last night, so he wasn’t that upset.

 

He had tried to tell Angel how he’d felt when the vampire had made love to him. He’d wanted to show him with his body. Lindsey didn’t think he’d done a very good job of it. It was funny, really. He made his living with words, was very good at it. Yet, he'd frozen up when trying to speak what was probably the most important thing he’d ever needed to say in his entire life...but he didn’t know if, even now, he _could_ convey all the vampire had made him feel with mere words. 

 

How could he tell Angel the wealth of emotions that had shot through his body, when Angel had touched him with tenderness, when all he’d expected from the vampire was unmitigated hatred? 

 

How could he explain that his heart almost stopped when Angel had said he wanted to make love to him? How was he going to tell Angel the entire experience had transcended sex, took him to a place within his heart, his mind, his emotions that he’d never been to before?

 

Lindsey sighed and rolled on his side, blinking at the crinkle of paper against his cheek. Lifted up on an elbow and looked at the folded sheet of paper before he picking it up, thinking about whether he wanted to read it or not, then he unfolded the single sheet of paper.

 

 

_Lindsey,_

_I have duties in Los Angeles that I cannot walk away from, much as I sometimes wish I could. Last night meant more to me than you’ll ever know. I might wish we'd had more time together but I can’t ask you to come back to a world you walked away from out of my own selfish desires._

_If I never see you again, I wish you all the best in the future. You have the strength inside to seek your redemption on your own._

_You don’t need me for that._

_You can have a normal life, Lindsey. Filled with love and laughter, with someone who can grow old with you, share all of life’s happiness and sorrows with. This is what I truly wish for you._

_To be happy, always._

_You don’t need me for that._

_I would really have liked waking up in your arms, but such things aren’t mine to want, and I’m sorry if you’re upset with me. I didn’t mean to mislead you in any way._

_If I don’t hear from you, I’ll understand. I’ll be happy for you._

_Angel_

 

 

Pillows cradling the side of his face as he shifted his position, the scent of Angel surrounding him as Lindsey contemplated the scream for understanding that short missive truly was and he thought that Angel was as alone as he himself had always been. For the first time, he realized how utterly noble the vampire was, how he always did what he had to, no matter what it cost him personally.

 

Lindsey lay there a long time, thinking that if he wanted to, he might be able to get on with his life. That he could let the past go, find a way to redeem himself on his own. Get married, raise a family, be a normal person and he knew that Angel had given him that choice by simply not being here now. Lindsey realized that this was the second time the vampire had done it and that it was without a doubt the most selfless thing anyone had ever done for him. 

 

Lindsey thought about all that could be, then he turned his back on all of what could be, in favor of what was. He left the bed he had slept alone in until last night, and faced his future with no doubts in his mind at all. 

 

The idyll in Oklahoma was over. Fuck Wolfram & Hart. Nothing was going to stop him from being at Angel's side.

 

Nothing and no one. 

 

Ever.


	18. Chapter 16  Of Unicorns and Men

Angel exited the elevator and made his way to where Harmony was. He listened in disbelief as he realized she was still prattling on about that television show she was so embroiled in. Damn! He’d thought their little talk about unicorns being a myth had worked. How could she be so silly?

 

"And then, _oh my God_ , when he turned around and I started screaming! I was in total shock! I mean, it was him, it really was! The evil unicorn hunter himself. I swear, I heard the name _Leslie_ screamed all over LA for at least an hour. Huh? Well, yeah...I hate him and all...but maybe he won’t be evil this time. I think he knows how important the unicorns are now. What? _No way!_ Everyone knows Adam and Leslie _belong_ with each other! No, I don’t care about that shit. Who cares what the network says? I’ll believe what I want and..." Harmony finally noticed Angel standing there. She smiled radiantly. "Hi, Boss! What are you doing back so soon?"

 

Angel shook his head at Harmony’s delusional attachment with a TV show. "I’m going to take a shower, and sleep awhile. Do me a favor? As soon as Wesley comes in, tell him I need to consult with him on something, will you?"

 

"Sure. Is that all?"

 

"Yeah," he said, walking away.

 

"Um...boss," Harmony called after him.

 

"What?" Angel said, still walking.

 

"Spike..."

 

"Later, Harm. I’m too tired to even think about Spike right now," Angel said.

 

"Okay, but I tried to warn you," she muttered under her breath. Putting the phone back to her ear, she continued her conversation. “And can you _believe_ they had him in bed with that skanky Elisa? I mean, really! Can I just say: _Ewwwww!_ That’s just so wrong. I felt like throwing up...what? Gay? I never said Leslie was gay! Damn, I hate it when people say that. I mean, _Hello!!!_ Look it up in the dictionary, for crying out loud. It’s spelled _B i s e x u a l_ , for God’s sake...........”

 

Angel kept walking, tuning out Harmony’s insane logic, hoping to avoid Spike. Unfortunately, that hope was dashed as soon as he neared the door to his suite. Spike was leaning against the wall. "Well, I see the poofster returned, after all. What’s the matter? Didn’t find your boy toy?"

 

"I’m not in the mood for this shit, Spike. Go away," Angel said, passing Spike by to open his door.

 

Angel barely had time to register the shock on the other vampire’s face before Spike had him pressed into the wall, had his face buried into Angel’s neck, practically inhaling the skin where Lindsey had bitten his grandsire. 

 

Angel roughly pushed him away. "What the fuck happened?!?" They both said in unison.

 

Spike took an unneeded breath, said as calmly as he could, "A box arrived, something inside made me corporal again, it’s a mystery, Fred’s working on it." 

 

He paused. "Angel, this man you went to find, I can smell him on you. He’s of the Secular Caste. You let him mark you. Are you insane?"

 

Angel growled, walked through the now open office door before returning the favor and pushing Spike against the wall. “Did you forget who I am while I was gone? I don’t need your approval. In fact, I don’t need _anyone’s_ approval for what I do. I’ll do what I want, when I want, and I don’t give a damn who likes it or who doesn’t. Understand?”

 

Spike was utterly stumped by his grandsire’s statement. That just sounded so much like Angelus, but it was very clear to Spike that this wasn’t him. This was Angel. "I understand," he said. "It’s that serious, then, is it?"

 

Angel looked into the other vampire’s eyes to see if Spike was being sincere or joking now. He sighed. "Yeah, it’s that serious." 

 

He let go of his grandchilde, and backed up a little. "I know he attracts vampires, Spike. I’m not that foolish. In fact, you’re the only one in our little family he hasn’t had contact with. But that’s a moot point. No one can touch him now, except me."

 

"Angel, you didn’t," Spike exclaimed. "You two didn’t claim each other, did you?"

 

Angel shut the office door. “Not that it’s any of your business....but, no, we didn’t. Why would you even ask that? What do you care?”

 

"I don’t care. Not really. It’s just...." 

 

"What?" Angel said, exasperated.

 

"You have a soul, Angel. It wouldn’t just be binding him to you. You’d be bound to him, as well. You know it’s eternal. As far as I know, a souled vampire’s never done it before. Who knows what the consequences would be? You aren’t going to do it, are you? Cause I’m thinking, that might not be good."

 

Angel's teeth chenched, ground together for a full minute before he replied. "I just told you, I’ll do what I want. And if Lindsey finds it in his heart to follow me here, after everything we’ve been through together, I am _going_ to talk him into it. Anyone who doesn’t like it can go to hell. Are we clear on this?"

 

"Yeah, we’re clear. But could you do a favor, could you climb down off your high horse and tell me why you’re being this stubborn about it?" Spike said.

 

Angel exploded. "Christ, Spike, haven’t you ever had someone who looks at you and isn’t afraid? Who sees all of you, demon and man, and isn’t repulsed? Who wants you for all those reasons, and who you don’t have to be gentle with, who’ll let you teach them all the sexual finesse a vampire thrives on, someone who gets off on it? Someone you feel was made just for you alone?"

 

Spike went very still. "Yeah, I have," he quietly said. "I died for her."

 

That deflated Angel. “Christ, what a mess,” he muttered. He sighed for effect, then walked over to the bar, grabbed a bottle and a pair of glasses, placed them on the table between them, an open invitation to Spike. He splashed some whiskey in a tumbler, then sat down, sipping it.

 

Spike followed him, helping himself to a shot of the aged whiskey, downing it in one shallow, glaring at Angel, daring the older vampire to say something. 

 

Angel only raised an eyebrow at him. "Spit it out, Spike. You obviously knew I was back, otherwise you’d be far from here by now. Say what you want, then leave me in peace."

 

Spike quietly said, "I’m going to Europe, Angel. I’m going to find Buffy. I don’t know if things could ever be repaired beyond our past, but I have to talk to her, face to face. At the very least, it’ll give me... _us_....closure."

 

"I understand, Spike, and I won’t try to stop you, but...Buffy’s changed. Ever since she hasn’t had the slayer’s responsibilities on her shoulders alone, she’s been different. You know, she was always a bit self-involved. It’s worse now. It’s like.....she doesn’t give a damn about anything or anyone, other than herself. Maybe she’s trying to make up for all she feels she’s missed out on, I don’t know."

 

"I have to try, Angel," Spike said.

 

"I know," Angel softly answered.

 

"This thing you have with this man...is it real or just a passing fancy?" Spike asked.

 

Angel was quiet for a few minutes while he thought about that. Finally, he looked back at Spike and said, "Yeah, it’s real. It’s the most real thing I’ve ever known."

 

"More real than the slayer was for you? I don’t understand that, mate," Spike said, knowing how his grandsire had once loved her.

 

Angel said, "Buffy was always afraid of me, Spike. Even before I reverted back into Angelus. And after that, well...things just _couldn’t_ go back to the way they were, that’s all."

 

Spike smiled slightly. "And you’re telling me this human you’re involved with isn’t afraid?"

 

Angel laughed. "Lindsey once ran me over repeatedly with his pickup truck, then when _that_ didn’t kill me, he came at me with a sledgehammer. And he was one-handed at the time."

 

Spike said, "You’re _shitting_ me, right? I mean, Angel...one-handed?"

 

"No, it’s true. I cut his hand off, he tried to drive me insane....it was a thing," Angel said, smiling.

 

"Sounds intense....like a television show or something," Spike laughed.

 

"Yeah, like that stupid unicorn shit show Harmony watches. Have you _heard_ her talk about it?" Angel said.

 

"Bloody hell, yes. She’s bent about it, like half the females in the benighted town. Have you heard her go on about that Leslie character coming back on the show after a couple of years?" Spike asked.

 

"Hell, when I got here, she was yakking on the phone about it. I don’t understand what the big deal is. I mean, the guy is short, for God’s sake, yet, women go nuts about him. What’s _that_ all about?" Angel said.

 

"He’s not _that_ short, Angel. You’re just prejudiced because you’re so tall," Spike said.

 

"I am not prejudiced against short people," Angel said.

 

"You are so," Spike said.

 

"Am not," Angel grumbled.

 

"Are so," Spike cockily said, leaning over to refill their glasses and the two vampires argued into the night about the subtleties of height, television shows, and how obsessed Harmony was with unicorns and a television character named Leslie.


	19. Chapter 17  Welcome Home

Lindsey stepped into the shadow of the building and looked up at it. _Just a lot of surface change on the outside....wonder if it’s still cold inside?_ Touching Angel’s letter in his back pocket, he smiled and entered the building. 

 

It had been almost 3 months since Angel’s visit and as Lindsey walked into the lobby and paused, thinking how odd it was that after everything that had happened, in this moment, it felt like he had come home. He looked around the open space as he entered, taking note of all the changes that had taken place since his departure. 

 

He still didn’t know the particulars of how Angel had gained control of this division of Wolfram & Hart and at the time of Angel’s visit to Oklahoma, he hadn’t really cared. _Face it, Lindsey, the only thing you cared about was being with Angel, everything else was insignificant._ But now, being back here in this place, he’d wished he had at least thought to ask.

 

He stopped at the information desk and asked for the location of Angel's office. He was told it was on the 5th floor, and was advised that Angel didn't see clients without an appointment, but told that he could make one with his assistant, Harmony Kendall. Lindsey smiled, thanked the man, and made his way to the bank of elevators along the back wall. 

 

He found it odd and a little disturbing that no one seemed to notice him, especially since in his jeans, t-shirt, and jacket, he stood out amidst all the suits around him. He also noticed that no one looked familiar. _Angel must’ve cleaned house when he took over. Wonder where Lilah ended up?_ Lindsey headed over to the nearest elevator and pressed the "up" arrow.

 

The elevator came almost immediately and Lindsey stepped in and pushed the button marked "5" and smiled as a random memory rang through his head. Something about a fifth floor office, company car, and his soul. No, the irony of it wasn't lost on him.

 

The doors started to close when a feminine hand reached in and stopped them. "Sorry, I didn’t see you," Lindsey said when the doors slid open and an attractive young woman stepped in beside him. "What floor?" 

 

"Seven, thanks," the woman said, smiling absently at him.

 

Lindsey leaned against the back wall of the elevator and watched her. She seemed to be engrossed in a book and what looked like a case file opened to a picture of what could have been perceived as a deformed cat. 

 

He couldn't help but lean over her shoulder to get a better look and smiled. "Coaties," he said in her ear.

 

She jumped and stepped away from him. "What?"

 

"That’s a picture of a coati. Mischievous little rascals. We call them..."

 

"Raccoons," the girl interrupted. 

 

"But in the dimension they come from, 'coaties' means 'rats'. How did it get here, anyhow?" 

 

"Not sure yet and we think there's more than one of 'em. I just got this and haven't had a chance to really work on it. So, any idea on how to catch them?" 

 

"Enchanted cheese."

 

"Enchanted cheese?"

 

"Yep. The enchanting spell should already be in the computer under "Coati", all you’ll need is the cheese."

 

"Thanks, Mr..." She trailed off, noticing the elevator had stopped and the doors were sliding open. She glanced up and saw Wesley standing there, as if waiting on an elevator himself.

 

Wesley looked the man with her up and down, raised an eyebrow, and said, "Lindsey McDonald."

 

Lindsey responded to the perusal with a smirk. "Hello, Wesley. I wondered why no one stopped me from coming up here. It seemed too easy. So, are you the welcoming committee?"

 

"Actually, no. I was on my way to the lab to meet with Fred. But now..." Wesley turned to the young woman and said, "Fred, I will need to get with you later."

 

Lindsey turned back to the young woman and smiled. "Nice to meet you, Fred. Oh, and don’t forget to have a cage ready for your coaties. The enchanted cheese only last for about an hour."

 

“It was nice to meet you, Mr. McDonald,” Fred said, giving Lindsey a glance of consideration as she exited the elevator. 

 

"Lindsey, please. And I'll be around if you need any help." Lindsey said to her with a wink. 

 

 

***************

 

 

"Mr. McDonald, if you would be so kind as to accompany me to my office.." Wesley said, although Lindsey thought it sounded more like an order than a request. But, whatever...might as well get this over with now, rather than later.

 

"Tell me something, Wesley. How did Angel manage to gain control of this part of Wolfram & Hart?" Lindsey asked as he followed Wesley to his office. He really wanted to see Angel but he was curious as to what the Englishman was after, because he didn’t look surprised to see him at all. He looked resigned, as if he’d known Lindsey would follow Angel back to LA.

 

"You mean he didn’t tell you when he visited?" Wesley asked, rather surprised. He led Lindsey into his office and pointed him to a chair. "I’m rather surprised you didn’t taunt him with the knowledge that he’s in charge of this branch of Wolfram & Hart, Lindsey." 

 

Wesley thought about it, then decided he’d be truthful with the other man. He’d been on Angel’s bad side himself, too, after all. "Frankly, had I been in your place.....I would have."

 

Lindsey sat down in the proffered chair, blushing a little, a bit shy about why he'd returned. "No, he didn't. We had...other things to discuss. I'm not up to elaborating on what those things were, so why don't you just fill me in on the specs?"

 

"After the Beast killed everyone here, and Angelus killed the Beast, Lilah came to us with an offer from the Senior Partners. We could have this branch to run as Angel saw fit. Of course, there are loopholes we keep having to work our way out of, but what else would you expect in a law firm?"

 

Frowning at the mention of Angelus, Lindsey said, "Where is dear ole Lilah, anyway? Can't imagine Angel keeping her around."

 

"He didn’t. She’s dead. As a matter of fact, she was dead when she came to us with this proposition. I guess even in death..." Wesley trailed off when he looked over and saw Lindsey’s ashen face. "Are you alright?"

 

"What? When? How...how did she die?" Lindsey stammered out.

 

"I’m sorry. I thought you knew all this. Lilah was killed by the Beast’s master." Wesley was a little confused. He hadn’t thought Lindsey and Lilah were even friends, but the man looked stunned by the news of her death. "I wasn’t aware you were friends, Lindsey. In all the time I knew her, she never said anything that led me to believe you were. I’m sorry."

 

Lindsey closed his eyes, let an image of the last time he’d seen her wash over him. “We weren’t friends, Wesley. More like wary enemies. When I left here, part of it was wanting to get away from Angel. But mostly, it was getting away from the firm, the manipulation, the backstabbing, and the constant thread of death from my own employers. If I hadn’t quit...they were going to kill her, Wesley. They were going to promote me, not Lilah. But I walked out, and they promoted her in my place. I guess I....saved her life.” 

 

Lindsey was quiet for a few seconds. “Now it looks as if that was a wasted gesture, one of many since I first arrived in LA. She didn’t change at all, did she?”

 

Wesley softly said, "No, she didn’t. I had hoped...but then...well, it was too late."

 

Lindsey contemplated the Englishman. "You were in love with Lilah?"

 

"No, not really. It never got that far," Wesley said. "We were involved, but...it couldn’t work, so we broke it off. Although, I did try to burn her perpetuity contract, after she died. I thought she deserved a measure of peace, or maybe I felt guilty I hadn’t truly loved her. That was a wasted gesture, as well. Lilah said something about eternal flames. I couldn’t break the contract."

 

"Yeah, the good ole perpetuity contract. I guess that means...I’m still technically an employee, huh?" Lindsey said. "God, I wish I’d gotten away from under here before I signed that."

 

Wesley frowned. "I was under the assumption all employees signed one upon employment at Wolfram & Hart."

 

"No, I didn’t sign mine until the night Vanessa Brewer died," Lindsey replied.

 

"Oh," Wesley said. "Does Angel know that?"

 

"No, I never told him. Things got...intense after that, and it wasn’t his business, was it?" Lindsey said.

 

"Oh, Lindsey," Wesley said, remembering a young man walking into Angel Investigations, asking for help.

 

Lindsey said, "It doesn’t matter now, Wesley. I’d rather focus on the present than linger on what could have been. So, tell me. Who's the liaison to the Senior Partners?"

 

"That would be me. Hello, Lindsey. What took you so long?"

 

Lindsey turned around to see someone he’d never expected to see here, of all places. "Eve Morgan, what are you doing here?" Lindsey said, clearly surprised at her appearance.

 

“Gotta keep the lines between the Senior Partners and the white hats open,” Eve said, walking up to Lindsey. “Damn, Linds...you look good. What’s your secret?”

 

"Sex, booze, and rock and roll," Lindsey said. "You look...all grown up, darlin'."

 

"Excuse me," Wesley interrupted. "Your name is Eve Morgan? I take that to mean, you're Lilah's sister?"

 

"When I admit it, which isn’t often." Eve answered, her eyes never leaving Lindsey. "So, I'd love to show you just how grown up I am, Linds, but duty calls and you're late. Angel was expecting you weeks ago.”

 

"Now, Evie, you know better than that. Putting the moves on me won't work any better now than it did when Lilah and I were in college," Lindsey replied with a grin, remembering the teenager who'd had a massive crush on him. "So, why don't you just run along now, play good girl to the bosses and leave Angel to me.”

 

Her lip curled just a little before she shrugged one shoulder. "That's okay, Lindsey. My moves may not work on you, but they work just fine on Angel...don't they, Wesley?" Eve turned to Wesley with an amusing smile dancing on her lips, daring him to lie and refute her statement. 

 

"That was due to a spell that Lorne accidentally cast. I doubt very seriously that it had anything to do with your uh....charms, Eve," Wesley stated. 

 

Lindsey looked shocked. 

 

“You're right, Wes. After all...it was “Lindsey” that Angel screamed. The first three times, anyway. Gotta love that vamp stamina....” Eve said, watching as Lindsey fought a battle for control between anger and embarrassment. “Don't you, Lindsey?" 

 

She smiled very sweetly before turning and heading for the door. There she paused, looked back and winked saucily at the two men. "Don't forget to tell him about the spell, Wes. See you soon, Lindsey."


	20. Chapter 18  Fighting Words

"Well...I see Eve hasn't changed much. I always said that their mother named them just right," Lindsey angrily stated while pacing a path in front of Wesley's desk. "Eve and Delilah Morgan, bitches from Hell."

 

Wesley smiled slightly and sat down behind his desk. He was still a little shocked at the revelation about Eve and Lilah's relationship. "I wouldn't disagree. And that will help us determine if Eve is really evil or not."

 

"Yeah, Eve plays for her own team," Lindsey muttered. _Fuck! I can't believe she said that!_

 

Wesley was ominously silent, so Lindsey looked over at him. The man's face was beet-red, and he looked as if he were on the verge of an attack of some sort.

 

"Do you think he really did that, Lindsey?" Wesley said, trying his level best not to laugh.

 

Lindsey blushed furiously. "I think she was just fucking with me. Unless Angel really did. Maybe she's just pissed off. I mean...could you imagine being with someone...and having them yell out another name....not once, but three times? If that's true....God, how humiliating it must have been."

 

Wesley blushed, recalled having done that to Lilah once. "I...uh....I imagine it would be, yes," he softly said. "And, I don't want to hear any more about it. I do, however, need to talk to you about the spell that Eve just mentioned, so please sit back down."

 

"What spell?" Lindsey asked, sitting back in the chair, wondering what the deal was. _I knew it! Wolfram & Hart assholes._

 

"When I was going through some of Lilah's files I found a spell. I believe she cast it not long before she died." Wesley sighed, not wanting to be the one to tell Lindsey that what he was feeling for Angel was probably false. Angel had not taken it well, and he suspected that Lindsey wouldn't either.

 

Lindsey sighed. "I suspected a spell a long time ago, Wesley. I told Angel that when he came to see me, so I'm not surprised. Lilah was trying to drive me insane, right?"

 

 

"No Lindsey, Lilah cast what appears to be a love spell. And you and Angel were its recipients. I think the mental stress you were feeling was due to the separation between you and him. Like Eve said, we expected you much earlier than this."

 

"That's not possible, Wesley," Lindsey stated. "What the hell would Lilah do that for?"

 

"That's the problem. I don't really know why she did it. I'm still looking. Did you ever give her reason to believe that you had...feelings for Angel?"

 

Lindsey stood up, walked over to the window. He put his hands in his pockets, and just thought about it. Finally, he turned back to Wesley, and said, "I must have unknowingly, somehow. Christ, even Darla knew I had a thing for Angel. Why wouldn't Lilah?"

 

"Well, like I said, I'm still looking into it. Angel suspects it's because it was the only way she could be sure that you would remain safe."

 

"Safe from what?" Lindsey asked.

 

"Everyone at this branch of Wolfram & Hart was targeted by the Beast, and as you pointed out earlier, you still have a contract with the firm. Perhaps by tying you to Angel in some way, she felt you would escape the Beast's notice."

 

Lindsey's face changed. To Wesley, he looked younger somehow, not as hardened as he normally appeared. "If that's true, then she was trying to save my life. Why? Because I saved hers? The Lilah I knew Wouldn't have done that. Let me see this spell, Wesley," Lindsey said.

 

 

"Yes, I think you should look at it. Maybe you'll see something that I might have missed," Wesley said, handing some papers to the other man.

 

Lindsey took the pages Wesley was offering, and he sat back down to read. As he did, he remembered things...starting with a long glance across a courtroom and ending with himself deciding to follow Angel back here. One thing led to the other in his mind. And he knew several things Wesley didn't.

 

"Okay, first thing is, this isn't a spell, Wesley. I'm sure Lilah thought it was. Maybe it worked that way at first, hell, I don't know. What I do know is, Lilah never earned points for originality. Check back, see if maybe Nathan Reed had a spell cast, maybe after I left Los Angeles. If he did, she would've followed up on it. If that's what happened, Lilah fucked up big time."

 

"Are you sure? It looks like a spell to me, Lindsey," Wesley said.

 

Shaking his head no, Lindsey said, "No, it's not. The wording is all wrong. She used Greek, not Latin. You see the difference? Lilah cast a curse, not a love spell."

 

"If it worked, what's the difference?" Wesley asked.

 

"A spell works without consent. A curse only works if the cursed believes in the curse, like Angel believing that gypsy crap about one moment of true happiness. Well, I don't believe in any of that shit," Lindsey said.

 

"So, you don't believe in Angelus? Does Angel know this?" Wesley asked incredulously. "Believe me when I say that he's very real. Lindsey, Angelus does exist within Angel."

 

"No, I don't. Angel knows that I don't believe in the curse," Lindsey said. "I'll tell you what I do believe. I believe I looked at Angel across a crowded courtroom and I saw the person I was meant to be with for the rest of my life and that was years ago, Wesley. I believe that I knew in that minute that he was the one, only I was too stubborn and foolish to admit it. And I refuse to believe that none of these feelings are real. I know that's what you're getting at. And I'm telling you now, no spell or curse is going to stand between him and me. Ever."

 

Wesley was shocked and a little wary at this new insight into Lindsey. "That's a nice declaration Lindsey and I guess as long as Angel doesn't find perfect happiness with you, then you can hang on to your beliefs, but be warned. If Angel attains that one moment...then you'd better run. Because Angelus _will_ kill you, if for no other reason than because Angel loved you." 

 

Lindsey laughed. "I'm not scared of Angel, Wesley. I never was. I dealt with both Darla and Drusilla and frankly, vampires don't scare me at all. They never have. I have a thing for them...they have a thing for me. There's actually a term for it, can't remember what it is, though. Besides, Angel told me himself...quote _"Angelus wants you as much or more than I do"_ unquote."

 

Wesley reeled back as if Lindsey had slapped him. "He told you that?" _My God, how close does Angel keep Angelus? Is Lindsey a threat to his soul....or not?_

 

He could not believe that Angel would have said something like that to Lindsey. "If that's true, then you'd best heed my warning. And Lindsey, I _will_ do whatever's necessary to keep Angel from finding a perfect moment of happiness with you."

 

"Then you'll be my enemy, Wesley. I told you-nothing and no one is going to come between us. Ever." Lindsey stated. "Why would you, who professes to be his friend, say something like that?"

 

"Because if Angel loses his soul, then we _all_ die. Frankly, with all the research and documentation you had at your disposal, I'm shocked that you don't believe. Think about it, Lindsey. If a separation between Angel and his demon isn't possible, then _what_ did Holland Manners and the Senior Partners want that they had to bring Darla back for? What could Angel possibly give them that would have been beneficial to the firm?"

 

"The man who shut me in with two rabid vampires, that's what. They were mere inches from attaining their goal, Wesley. Did y'all ever know that? An evil Angel, soul intact. Think about it. He's there, Wesley. Have you never seen a glimpse of him?" Lindsey's lips tilted a little as he watched Wesley through eyes half-lidded and he knew that he'd struck a resonating cord within the former Watcher.

 

"That's what the senior partners want. You guys have this big blind spot when it comes to Angel. I can't afford to. I _belong_ with Angel-body and soul. I've waited my whole life to feel this way and you, your little friends, Eve, the senior partners, Wolfram and Hart, even the Powers That Be...you can all go fuck yourselves if you think you're going to stop this from happening. I won't lose him. I can't. I'd die if I couldn't be with him, don't you get that? Don't you understand?"

 

Wesley was exasperated beyond belief. He could not _believe_ what he was hearing. Lindsey in this moment reminded him of Buffy when she quit the Council because they wouldn't help save Angel's life. 

 

And even though part of what the other man was saying made sense to him, Wesley knew he was wrong. Yes, he'd seen the side Lindsey was referring to. But he'd met Angelus in person. Lindsey was wrong, he had to be. _Maybe Lilah did cast an insanity spell on him. Lindsey sure is showing signs of it._

 

"Fine, then. Believe what you will, but if Angel loses his soul and Angelus comes out to play, I will destroy him. I only hope that I can get to him before he gets to you. Make no mistake, Lindsey, _Angelus will kill you_ ," Wesley said with a quiet, steel resolve that left no room for argument.

 

 

****************************

 

 

Angel was standing at the window enjoying the feel of muted sunlight on his face. He reveled in its warmth and he smiled as the memory of another place where he felt warm flickered in his mind.

 

"Now that's a look that we don't see much of around here." Fred said as she walked into Angel's office. "You keep that up and the troops are gonna get restless."

 

Angel turned and smiled at her before stepping back in shock. He could smell _him_ on her. It was faint and only someone who knew that scent would even catch it. Someone with his heightened sense of smell, that is.

 

"Angel, what's wrong?"

 

"Nothing. I thought I smelled something familiar, that's all. What's up? Did you manage to figure out what those little furball looking things are? And how to catch them?"

 

"Yep. They're called coaties, they're all rounded up and caged, waiting for a trip home. And it was all thanks to a Lindsey McDonald and enchanted cheese."

 

"Lindsey? Did you say Lindsey McDonald?"

 

"Yep. He came up on the elevator with me or rather I came up with him, since technically he was on the elevator first and..."

 

"Fred, where did Lindsey go when he got off the elevator?" Angel asked, a bad feeling overcoming him.

 

"Oh, he went with Wesley, who by the way didn't look none too happy to see him," Fred answered.

 

"Dammit!" Angel said, turning away to head out of his office.

 

"Angel, we need to talk," Eve said, waltzing into the room.

 

"Not now, Eve, I have to go." Angel headed across the reception area towards Wesley's office, Eve hot on his heels, Fred forgotten in his rush to find Lindsey and Wesley.

 

"Angel....." Eve said, trying to keep up with him.

 

Angel opened the door to Wesley's office, eyes seeking out Lindsey and locking onto the young man's stormy blue gaze. Lindsey looked quite upset, so Angel assumed that Wesley must have told him about the spell. 

 

Then Lindsey's gaze fell on Eve, who was standing right behind Angel, a self-satisfied smirk on her face. He looked back at Angel, and the color in his eyes deepened to an even darker shade. 

 

"Hello, Angel," he said, his voice smooth, with a rough catch that set the vampire on edge and Angel was damn glad Lindsey didn't have a sledgehammer right then.


	21. Chapter 19  Insecurities

Angel knew without a doubt that Lindsey was more than upset, the young man was pissed off. What he didn't know was why. "Lindsey, what's up?"

 

Angel felt Eve hovering behind him. Irritated that the girl couldn't take a hint, he decided to explain it to her. "Eve, I said _not now_ , so back the hell off!"

 

"Don't kick her out on my account, Angel. It's a little late for that, don't you think?" Lindsey said quietly, walking towards the vampire, his movements slow and steady.

 

"Lindsey, what are you talking..." Angel didn't see it coming until too late and pain exploded on the side of his face, knocking him to his knees.

 

"Lindsey!" Wesley yelled as he ran to help his friend who was trying to regain his balance, shocked Lindsey would hit someone he'd just claimed he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. "I told you it was a spell-"

 

"So is that the new excuse now, Angel? Everything you've done lately is because you're under a spell? Sleeping with me? Sleeping with her?" Lindsey pointed to Eve, who stood beside the door with a smile on her face. That _smile_ infuriated Lindsey even more.

 

Grabbing Angel's shirt and pulling the vampire down so that they were face to face, a mere inch separating the two, Lindsey quietly asked, "You came to me, you made me believe you cared about me, you practically begged me to come back here, all for what, Angel? Because you were under a spell?"

 

Angel was rapidly trying to piece everything together and quickly came to the realization that he was missing a few key elements. He discerned that Lindsey knew about the sex fiasco with Eve. 

 

How Lindsey had found out was still a mystery, but Angel knew that he had to handle this carefully or Lindsey would walk––straight out of his life. So he did the one thing that he hoped would diffuse Lindsey's anger––he took the young man's face in his hands and closed the gap. 

 

Lindsey stood frozen, trying to resist Angel's teasing tongue which was demanding entrance into his mouth. _Fuck! No! I will NOT let him kiss his way out of this. But, shit, I want to taste him again, I want to see if my memory did justice to the real thing. I want...I want..._ With a groan of frustration, Lindsey opened up to Angel's caresses and let himself be kissed.

 

Angel dropped his hands from Lindsey's face, lightly rested them on the young man's shoulders. He decided to let Lindsey control the kiss and was happy to feel himself pulled closer, as if Lindsey was trying to crawl inside of his skin.

 

"Ahem." Wesley, skin slightly red from witnessing such a private moment, from his boss no less, decided it was time to separate the two before they decided to go any further. "Uh...pardon me, but could you two...please..." He finally gave up on talking, just walked over and tapped Angel on the shoulder.

 

Angel jumped at the sudden contact and moaned when Lindsey broke the kiss. He turned and glared at Wesley, who was looking slightly embarrassed. Looking around, he saw Eve still standing in the doorway, looking flushed and now slightly irritated.

 

Looking back at Lindsey, Angel watched the young man's eyes go from the passion-filled dark blue to anger-filled stormy blue and he knew that Lindsey would turn away from him before he'd let Angel see the hurt come in and change their color yet again.

 

"Lindsey, I'm sorry. The deal with Eve, that was Lorne's fault. He inadvertently cast a spell and everyone at the party found themselves acting bizarre," Angel said.

 

"Shut up, Angel. I don't want to hear the 'spell' excuse again. You know what? I gotta go, I just...I gotta go." Lindsey unfisted his hands from Angel's shirt and backed away, grabbing his jacket he headed for the door.

 

"Angel's telling the truth. I was caught up in it too. We all were," Wesley chimed in.

 

Wesley's comment seemed to fall on deaf ears as the lawyer kept walking. Angel sighed. "Running away again, Lindsey? I found you once, I'll find you again. Save us both the trouble and just talk to me." Angel watched as Lindsey paused at the doorway for a second then continued through it, without looking back.

 

"Dammit! LINDSEY!" Angel started after the young man but stopped short when Wesley stepped into his path. "Wesley, move!"

 

"Angel, we need to talk," the former Watcher stated firmly.

 

"That's what I've been trying to say." Both men turned toward the perky voice coming from the doorway. Eve was still standing there, waiting patiently.

 

"After I catch Lindsey." Angel tried to step around Wesley but the ex-watcher matched him step for step.

 

"NOW!" Wesley and Eve said in unison.

 

Angel gave up. He knew they wouldn't let him go until they said what they had to say, so he sat down heavily on the couch. "What is it?"

 

 

**************************

 

 

Lindsey walked over to the elevators and pushed the down arrow and waited.

 

_Fucking sonofabitch!! "Running away again, Lindsey?" Fuck him and the white horse he rode in on. I can't believe he said that. I'm here, aren't I? I came here, to this place I hate for him. I came because he asked._ He pulled out the letter and looked at it. _Okay, so he didn't ask verbally, but I can read between the lines and he asked._

 

"Mr....Lindsey?"

 

Lindsey started and looked up to see Fred standing in the elevator, her hand holding the door open for him. "Hey. Fred, right?" Lindsey asked as an idea formed in his mind.

 

"Yep, that's me. Are you waiting for an elevator, cause this one's here. I'm headed to the lab. Want to join me?"

 

"I would, but I think I'd like to take a shower and get cleaned up. I feel a little...grimy. Could you be a doll and tell me where I can find Angel's apartment? I left him and Wesley hashing out some spell and thought I'd try and find it on my own. But since you're here, maybe you could cut a guy a break?"

 

"Well, since you're not being escorted out by security, I guess I could help you. Besides, I owe you one, right? I mean you did help with the coaties and all, so I do owe you, so..."

 

"Fred, you're holding up the elevator, hon. Someone could be waiting." Lindsey said replacing her hand on the door with his own. "Angel's apartment?"

 

"Oh, right. There's an elevator in Angel's office that takes you right there. You can't miss it!" Fred said quickly as the elevator doors slid shut.

 

"Thanks, Fred. I think I owe you one now," Lindsey muttered as he made his way to Angel's place.

 

 

**************************

 

 

"Eve, why don't you go ahead?" Wesley walked back over to his desk, as if to give them a modicum of privacy.

 

"You have to let him go, Angel. The Senior Partners are not happy with his return to the Firm," Eve stated, the smile still on her face. She looked ecstatic being able to relay this message.

 

"Lindsey isn't returning to the Firm, Eve. He came here for me, because I asked him to," Angel said.

 

"So...it's personal, then?" Eve asked, the smirk returning.

 

"Yes. So go tell your bosses that Lindsey is off limits to them or anyone else from way back when. He's here for me," Angel stated firmly.

 

"Okay, then. I'll pass that along, but I don't think they're going to listen." Eve said and breezily walked out of the room.

 

 

***************************

 

 

"Your turn." Angel turned to Wesley who was standing beside his desk, watching Eve leave with a hint of distaste clouding his features. "Careful, Wes. That woman has eyes in the back of her head. She sees that look and you'll have to start sleeping with your eyes open."

 

Wes looked over at his friend and smiled wanly. "She's right, Angel. If the Senior Partners sent her to tell you to get rid of Lindsey, then the probability of them letting him stay is small. Regardless of your...reasoning."

 

"Lindsey came here because I asked him to. He's here for me. Not the Firm, not to cause problems for the Firm. He's here for _me_!" Angel insisted.

 

"I know that. He made that very clear." Wesley replied.

 

"He did? What did he say...exactly?" Angel said, hoping Lindsey had relayed some....hint....as to his feelings to the former Watcher.

 

Wesley decided he was not going to tell Angel the things Lindsey had told him. He felt it wasn't his place to do that, not after what he'd just witnessed between the two men. Lindsey could tell Angel on his own, or not, but fair was fair, and it wouldn't be the right thing to do if he told the vampire. 

 

So, he compromised and replied, "Quite a number of things, actually. First being that Eve is Lilah's sister. Secondly, that Lilah's 'love spell' is actually a curse and not a spell. He suspects that there might have been a spell cast on him around the time he left and Lilah just followed up on it." 

 

Wesley paused, then asked Angel what he'd really wanted to talk to him about. "Angel, Lindsey told me he doesn't believe in Angelus. I'm...not sure what to make of that information. Were you aware of that?"

 

"So, he told you that too?" Angel said.

 

"Yes. Doesn't that _bother_ you?" Wesley said.

 

"Scares the hell out of me, but something about being with him makes me feel safe. I can't explain it. Not yet, anyway," Angel said, his mind clearly on the lawyer, not on the conversation.

 

Wes could see that Angel was no longer paying attention to him or the conversation and decided to let the vampire go. "Angel, promise me that you'll be cautious in your relationship with Lindsey. I _do_ believe in Angelus, and I don't ever want to deal with him again."

 

"I don't want that, either." And with that and a small smile to his friend, Angel left and went after a certain lawyer.


	22. Chapter 20  Rituals

Lindsey stepped off the elevator and looked around the apartment. He wasn't quite sure what to expect but this was nowhere near what he had envisioned. This was cold, clean, almost sterile. The furnishings were sparse and way too modern for the man he knew.

 

Throwing his coat on a nearby chair, Lindsey headed to the bar across the room. Smiling, he grabbed the bottle of scotch and poured himself a drink.

 

Lindsey knew that Angel wouldn't be too far behind him, so he settled himself in a chair to wait. Noticing the corner of what looked like a notebook sticking up from the side of the chair, Lindsey carefully pulled it out. It was a sketchbook. He opened it up and stared at the picture in his hands. 

 

He began turning pages, one after another until he reached the last page. He noticed the date and gasped. _Yesterday_ He flipped back to the first page and read the date. _September 15th. Two days after he left Oklahoma_.

 

Lindsey began to go through the book page by page when a hand halted his progress. He jumped and looked up, straight into Angel's wary gaze.

 

"There's one for every day we've been apart. But this one..." Angel turned back to the first drawing and tapped it lightly, "This one is my favorite. You looked so peaceful, relaxed, almost happy. I really liked seeing you like that. Thank you for that gift."

 

Lindsey felt himself blush, "I should be the one thanking you. If I hadn't been in your arms, then I wouldn't have looked like that." He felt the blush deepen and silently thanked the gods for minimal lighting. "Sorry, I found it when I sat down to wait for you. Here." Lindsey held out the notebook for Angel to take.

 

"Keep it. They're all of you, anyway. I can always draw more," Angel said, smiling.

 

Noticing the empty glass on the table, Angel walked over to the bar and grabbed the bottle and a glass for himself and headed to the couch. After refreshing Lindsey's drink and making one for himself, Angel settled in to wait.

 

Lindsey put the book back on the chair, walked over and sat down beside Angel, not quite touching the vampire, but close enough that he was pretty sure that Angel could feel his body heat through his clothes. "A spell, huh?"

 

Angel sighed for effect, looking at Lindsey, who _didn't_ look angry now. "Lindsey, one more time, then it's done, finished. At some point during Lorne's big Halloween party, he accidentally cast a spell. We _all_ found ourselves doing abnormal things. It was one time, one very long time...but that was it."

 

"Eve said you....screamed my name when you came, is that true?" Lindsey asked, turning towards Angel and resting his hand on top of Angel's.

 

"All three times...we done here?" Angel rested his hand on Lindsey's leg and gently began rubbing the firm muscle he felt under the young man's jeans.

 

Lindsey leaned in and buried his face in Angel's neck. He took a small, sharp bite and smiled when he heard Angel growl. Pulling back, he said, "One more thing."

 

"What?" Angel said impatiently. He wanted Lindsey badly, but he knew he was going to have to follow the other man's lead.

 

"Apologize," Lindsey said.

 

"Dammit, Lindsey! I'm sorry I slept with..." Angel was cut off by Lindsey's warm finger over his lips.

 

"Not for that, for this. For leaving me with just this..." Lindsey pulled out what Angel recognized as the letter he wrote the day he had left Lindsey sleeping peacefully in his bed back in Oklahoma. It was worn, and Angel knew Lindsey had read it a lot by the condition it was in. "I want you to apologize for leaving me, period. Didn't you know that I would have come back with you, had you just asked?"

 

Angel gently pulled himself out from under Lindsey and stood up. "I couldn't ask you to do that, Lindsey." Angel flashed backed on the conversation he had with Spike regarding Lindsey's coming to LA. _And if Lindsey finds it in his heart to follow me here, after everything we've been through together, I am going to talk him into it. Anyone who doesn't like it, can go to Hell._

 

Angel sighed, "I wanted you to come here of your own free will. Not because I asked, but because you wanted to, because you wanted me."

 

Lindsey stood up and walked towards Angel, smiling as he slowly unbuttoned his shirt with each step. Once in front of his soon to be again lover, Lindsey took Angel's face in his hands. "You big, dead dumbass. I would've come, not because you asked me, nor because I wanted you. I would've come because I love you."

 

For the second time since Angel could remember, Lindsey had rendered him speechless. 

 

He just gazed at Lindsey, too stunned to form a reply. Those blue eyes looking into his, with the most amazing honesty in them, simple and direct....no regrets, no questions. Just the simple, honest truth. Just those three little words. 

 

The only thing Angel could do was lower his head and kiss him. And kiss him. And kiss him, trying to put everything he felt into the kisses.

 

Lindsey leaned into Angel, knew the vampire was letting him take the lead in this, even knew why. Angel wasn't going tell him he was in love, too. He could tell by the way he was kissing him, Lindsey could damn near _hear_ the emotions coming at him through the contact between them. 

 

A part of him was hurt because he felt as if Angel didn't believe in him. Yet, Lindsey understood that Angel was too afraid to say the words, after what had happened in Sunnydale. He'd just have to live with that for now.

 

Angel pulled back, looked down at him, and said, "Lindsey, I....I want.."

 

Lindsey softly said, "I know. I understand, Angel."

 

And Angel could see that he _did_ understand, but he could also see the hurt inside that understanding. They were just going to have to be at a stand-off on this for now, because Lindsey didn't-couldn't-or....wouldn't believe in Angel's curse. 

 

He was going to say more, but then Lindsey pulled his head back down, crushing their lips together in a desperate, need-filled kiss, his tongue invading Angel's mouth, as if he again wanted to crawl into him.

 

Angel broke the kiss off, smiled and said, "No."

 

Lindsey, nearly breathless now, licked his kiss-reddened lips and teasingly said, "That didn't taste like _No_ to me."

 

Angel grinned, leaned downed to place a kiss on Lindsey's forehead. "Not no to you, Lindsey. I'd never say no to you. It's just..." Angel paused, considering how to word it just right.

 

"What, Angel?" Lindsey asked. _And he tells me I think too much??_

 

"If I asked you to do something for me...no, for us...could you do it, without questioning it to death?" Angel asked.

 

"Jeez, are you trying to say I'm a lawyer or something?" Lindsey laughed.

 

Angel laughed out loud. "Kinda sounded that way, didn't it?"

 

"Yeah, it did." Lindsey replied. "I'm kind of offended. The CEO of Wolfram & Hartjust _insinuated_ that I'm too much of a suit to do something without questioning why. Didn't you read my employment records, Angel?"

 

"That's not funny, Lindsey," Angel said, grinning anyway.

 

"No, it's not," Lindsey agreed, laughing. "But, what the hell. I'm in. Tell me what you want me to do, I'll do it, without question, I swear. But this is a one-time-never-to-be-repeated-offer. Deal?"

 

"Deal," Angel said, then took a deep, totally unneeded breath. "I want us to lay claim to each other, Lindsey."

 

The lawyer's eyes got wide, his mind was filled with all sorts of questions, and _he_ was now rendered speechless and in one of those movie-like moments that seem to stretch into infinity, Lindsey questioned and answered himself in his own mind.

 

_He won't tell me he loves me, but he wants us bound for eternity?_

 

//Well, that's the most definitive _I love you_ I ever fucking heard.//

 

_Why is he damn near...no...he IS...insisting we do this now?_

 

//Because of that goddamn stupid curse, you idiot. He's afraid he's going to achieve that one moment of true happiness. _And aren't you just ate up with the dumbass today_?//

 

_God, that's so stupid! WHY can't he understand...why can't he see things the way I do?_

 

//Because Angel's from another time and place, full of beliefs and magicks that no longer exist today. He's seen more than you'll ever know.//

 

_Doesn't he have faith in me?_

 

//No, he doesn't. _How do you expect Angel to have faith...when you don't know if you have it yet, either_?//

 

_What the fuck is that supposed to mean?_

 

//You found out he slept with Eve, knew it was spell, knew it wasn't _on purpose_ and you blamed him and hit him, anyway. That doesn't sound like you have faith in him to _me_.//

 

_I'm sorry!_

 

//You're not supposed to apologize to yourself, asshole.//

 

 

Lindsey focused his gaze back on Angel, reached out and grasped his shirt, pulling him into full body contact. He kissed him with every bit of passion he was feeling, then moved to whisper into his ear. "Okay, but make it snappy, Angel. After all, I've waited three months to fuck you. I don't feel like waiting much longer."

 

"Alright, Lindsey. I was going to be nice about it, do it all romantic-like. But since you're so hot to fuck, let's just get it on, then," Angel silkily whispered back.

 

Lindsey softly growled into the vampire's ear, "Sounds like a plan to me." He drew back a little and they looked at each other for a minute. 

 

Lindsey was panting softly and Angel's skin was actually slightly flushed. But Lindsey wasn't quite aroused enough, so the vampire placed his hands on the young man's chest and _rushed_ him into the wall behind them.

 

"Fuck!" Lindsey yelled, his body simmering with arousal. Before he could utter much more than the _Uhhh_ of surprise that slipped out at the unexpected move, Angel was at his neck, smelling him, licking his pulse point, growling softly. 

 

Lindsey didn't think he'd ever been this aroused in his life and the danger in his position wasn't lost on the young man. If anything, he found it extremely erotic. His hands pulling the vampire as close as he could, Lindsey whispered, "Do it. Just do it, damn you." His eyes closed in complete surrender as he felt Angel gently bite him.


	23. Chapter 21  Heaven or Hell

When the first drop of blood hit his tongue, Angel moaned. He knew he'd missed Lindsey every day that they were apart, but hadn't realized just how starved he was for him. Until now. Taking a deep pull and savoring the rich, coppery taste that was uniquely Lindsey, Angel gently retracted his fangs and ran his tongue over the weeping punctures. He began kissing his way up Lindsey's throat when he felt the young man pull back.

 

" _Say it_ ," Lindsey said, looking Angel square in the eye.

 

Angel knew exactly what Lindsey wanted him to say and he wanted to, very badly. The words were right there on the tip of his tongue, yet in the back of his mind, he heard Spike's words to him the night the other vampire had left to seek Buffy out: _You know it's eternal. As far as I know, a souled vampire's never done it before. Who knows what the consequences would be?_

 

Needing to be sure that Lindsey knew and understood the realities of such simple words, Angel leaned forward, kissing Lindsey's neck, "Be sure, Lindsey," Angel growled softly into the young man's ear. "If we do this, there's no going back. No Oklahoma. No running away. It's forever."

 

A faint flutter of fear flew through his gut as the words Angel had spoken to him back in Oklahoma echoed in his head. _A claiming is for eternity, Lindsey. It binds the soul of the human to the vampire. I've never done it before._

 

He had spent the last three months closing another chapter in his life. He had sold his part of the firm, his house and most of the contents. He kept his bedroom furniture and had it shipped to the storage facility that he used to store his truck back in his Wolfram & Hart days. Throwing his duffel and guitar into the truck, he had headed out.

 

That was two months ago. Lindsey remembered a client he'd had when he was new at the firm, a demonologist, specializing in vampires and vampire customs. He looked him up and spent a month with the professor in Arizona. He studied everything he could find in regards to claiming and other vampire rituals. He probably knew more about it than Angel did. 

 

Lightly grabbing the back of the vampire's neck, Lindsey pulled Angel back so he could look him in the eye and shrugged. "Sold it all, Angel. Nothing to go back to. And as for the running away? Not going to, unless you come, too." Lindsey leaned in and kissed Angel firmly, then asked, "Now the question is:Are you sure? Do you really want this? Want me?"

 

Angel met Lindsey's look head on, "Yes, Lindsey, I want this. I want _you_ more than anything else, but..."

 

Lindsey cut off Angel's rebuttal with a light touch of warm fingers on cool lips, then moving in to replace warm fingers with warm lips, until he was kissing Angel lightly. Lindsey looked up at Angel and made his wants known. "Then say it, Angel."

 

Angel leaned into Lindsey's neck and ran his tongue over the punctures. Feeling very little blood, he slid his fangs gently into the slightly seeping holes, and opened them back up. Lindsey moaned at the feel of Angel's pull and tried to move in closer to the vampire. His moan turned into a groan of frustration when Angel withdrew and ran his tongue back over the marks.

 

Angel backed away from Lindsey's neck and stood so that he was eye to eye with the young man, blood still staining the vampire's lips. "Your blood becomes my blood, as I bind my soul to yours. I take you as mine, for all eternity, in this life and any that may follow. Heaven or Hell, wherever I end up, so too will you, Lindsey McDonald, for we can never be separated again," Angel softly said, a smirk on his lips as he said the last part.

 

"Snarky bastard," Lindsey said, but he smiled back, leaned in and licked the blood from Angel's lips, then pushed his tongue inside and cleaned out all remaining traces of his blood from inside Angel's mouth. 

 

Angel moaned as the erotic feeling of what Lindsey was doing to his mouth, and inadvertently to the rest of his body, swept over him. He was hard as a rock and at the end of his patience. Wrapping his arms around him, Angel picked Lindsey straight up off the floor and carried the lawyer to the bedroom, never losing the connection Lindsey had created with his kiss.

 

In the few seconds it took Angel to reach the bed, he was done being nice. Dropping Lindsey unceremoniously onto the bed, effectively breaking the kiss, he headed to the bathroom.

 

"Angel?" Lindsey said, struggling to regain awareness.

 

"Strip," Angel demanded and disappeared into the other room.

 

Lindsey glared at the vampire's back, before smiling to himself. He knew Angel was fighting to regain some control and in no way was he going to give it to the vampire. Quickly getting undressed, he crawled back onto the bed and sat back against the head board looking very much like the happy man that he was.

 

_Holy Shit. I truly belong to Angel now,_ Lindsey thought as he leaned back, closed his eyes and slowly ran his fingers over the bite mark on his neck. Gently taking his semi-erect cock into his hand and replaying in his mind what had just happened in the other room, Lindsey stroked himself into a full blown hard-on. He was picking up speed, nearing completion when Angel's voice in his ear made him freeze.

 

"Don't come, Lindsey. Don't you _dare_ fucking come!" Angel growled.

 

"Fuck, Angel. Make some goddamn noise occasionally, will ya! Scared me to death." Lindsey grabbed the base of his cock and squeezed until he feel himself relax enough to let go.

 

"You still feel very much alive to me." Angel said, nuzzling Lindsey's neck.

 

Taking advantage of Angel's preoccupation with his neck, Lindsey swung himself over the vampire and pinned him to the bed. Leaning down, he gave Angel's mouth a very thorough kiss, then began placing light kisses along the vampire's jaw. Feeling Angel's body shaking with barely contained need, Lindsey whispered into his ear, "You've made me yours, Angel. Now it's time to make you mine."

 

"It's about fucking time, Linds. I was beginning to think you were going to play _Tease the Vampire_ all fucking night. And for the record... _NOT_ a good idea." Angel growled then hissed when Lindsey's tongue found a nipple and laved it gently. "Lindsey...you're still teasing. Not a good i- _Fuck_ Yes!" Angel said loudly as Lindsey bit down on his nipple. 

 

The stinging sensation shot straight to his dick, causing Angel to buck up hard, almost dislodging Lindsey from atop him. Grabbing Lindsey's head in his hands, Angel wound his fingers into Lindsey's hair and held on while the young man repeated his actions on the other nipple.

 

Lindsey smiled at the almost painful way Angel was pulling at his hair. He knew Angel was close and began licking a trail down the vampire's body until he was laying comfortably between Angel's legs. 

 

Taking Angel's cool, velvety length in his hand, Lindsey looked up at the vampire whose face was awash with both want and need and couldn't help the feeling of possessiveness that stole over him, couldn't help the small smile of anticipation that flickered across his face as he slowly guided Angel's cock into his mouth.

 

Angel hissed and carefully pried his hands from Lindsey's hair and fisted them in the sheet instead, trying desperately to keep from letting go and just fucking Lindsey's mouth for all it was worth. Gasping with unneeded breaths, he looked down and watched as Lindsey drove him closer and closer to the edge.

 

Lindsey alternated between soft, slow strokes applying lots of pressure on the underside with his tongue, to short, fast strokes, occasionally pausing over the head to send his tongue into the slit to lick up the pre-come collecting there.

 

"Lindsey..." Angel said warningly.

 

Smiling, Lindsey decided Angel had had enough teasing and danced two fingers along Angel's lips. Angel sucked them into his mouth greedily, knowing exactly what the young man was up to. Taking his well coated fingers from Angel's mouth, Lindsey teased Angel's opening before gently sliding one finger in. 

 

Angel arched up off the bed and Lindsey had to use his other hand to hold the vampire down. Easing his finger out and adding the second one, Lindsey swallowed Angel's cock down as far as he could and began humming as he worked his fingers back inside of Angel.

 

As soon as Lindsey hit that sweet spot inside him, Angel hit sensation overload and saw stars as his orgasm hit and he came with a yell. "Oh, fuck, Lindsey. Yes, yes, fuck, Lindsey, yes!" Angel kept up the litany of repeated words as he rode the orgasm to completion, quieting down as Lindsey licked him clean.

 

Reaching down and burying a hand in his hair, Angel pulled Lindsey up to him and dove into the young man's mouth, kissing him with complete abandon. "Fuck me now, Lindsey. I want to feel your heat inside of me." 

 

Angel reached over to the night stand and grabbed the small bottle of lotion sitting there. Placing it in Lindsey's hand, he looked into passion filled blue eyes and saw his own need reflected there. Lindsey flipped open the bottle of lotion and poured some into his hand. Knowing Angel required little, if any, recovery time, he recoated his fingers and slid them back inside the vampire. 

 

He watched as Angel arched up to meet his hand, burying his fingers deep inside the vampire. With his other hand, Lindsey coated his now painfully hard cock with the lotion, then moved into position over Angel.

 

Angel groaned in frustration when Lindsey removed his fingers, but then moaned when he felt something thicker and hotter teasing him. "Angel, look at me," Lindsey softly said.

 

Angel opened his eyes and looked up questioningly. "What?"

 

"Just wanted to tell you you're _mine_ now," and with those words, Lindsey drove himself deep into Angel's body.

 

"Fuck, yes!" Angel groaned, damn near delirious feeling that heat moving inside him. He had never felt that kind of heat inside before and he wanted more. "God, you're so hot, Lindsey, so damn hot," he whispered, his hands slipping down sweat slick skin, his palms curving to cup and hold onto Lindsey as his hips rocked downward. "Want you deeper, Lindsey. Do it harder."

 

All Lindsey knew was that Angel felt incredible. He was so tight that Lindsey was afraid he'd hurt him when he drove into him, but Angel's demand to fuck him harder put those fears to rest. Wanting to please his lover by giving him what he wanted, Lindsey began pounding into Angel for all he was worth. 

 

When Angel started moving in rhythm with Lindsey's thrusts, the young lawyer slid his hand into the space between their bodies, fingers closing in a tight fist around Angel's cock and he began stroking it in time with his thrusts.

 

"Shit, Lindsey, that feels so good. _You_ feel so good. Please, don't stop, don't ever stop," Angel muttered. Lindsey smiled, leaned inward, kissed Angel, then licked his way down the vampire's throat. 

 

Sucking on the side of Angel's neck, Lindsey waited until he felt Angel's cock suddenly thicken, then drove up hard into the vampire, saying as he did so, "Your blood becomes my blood, as I bind my soul to yours. I take you as mine, for all eternity, in this life and any that may follow. Heaven or Hell, wherever I end up, so too will you, Angel, for we can never be separated again." Then Lindsey sank his teeth hard into Angel's neck, breaking the skin and drawing blood.

 

"HOLYHELLSONOFABITCH, LINDSEY!" Angel yelled as he came.

 

Feeling Angel clench tight around him, the taste of Angel's blood thick in his mouth, Lindsey's orgasm crashed through him and with one final thrust he came deep inside his lover. Letting the waves of climax wash over him, Lindsey leaned down to kiss Angel. 

 

Loving the feel of the vampire's tongue erotically playing with his, Lindsey lost himself in the kiss and the young man was surprised at suddenly being flipped over onto his back, Angel covering him.

 

Angel gazed down at Lindsey, grinning at his shock in the swift change of position. "Bloodthirsty little bastard, aren't you?"

 

Lindsey licked his lips. "Hell, Angel. You know I had to do that. It's the way it's done. Spent a month researching it, after I thought about it. That's just me, you know? I don't do things half-way."

 

"Oh, yeah, I know you, Lindsey," Angel said in a voice that sent chills down Lindsey's spine. "I've known _you_ since I looked into your eyes in the middle of that courtroom." He growled, then leaned down to lick the sensitive spot right behind Lindsey's earlobe.

 

Lindsey arched up, a moan escaping his lips. "Fuck, Angel," he groaned, his voice raspy and harsh.

 

"You're wild, unpredictable, a little dangerous," Angel whispered into his ear. "Like a snake in a pit. A rattlesnake. Yeah, that's you, Lindsey. You know what? I like it."

 

"Damn good thing you do, after what we just did," Lindsey uttered, every nerve in his body screaming in anticipation.

 

"What, that?" Angel said, a wicked smile on his lips. "That was only foreplay, Lindsey. Now, _I'm_ gonna show you what having a vampire as a bedmate's really all about."


	24. Chapter 22  Savage

Lindsey was no longer amazed at his body's response to the vampire, Angel's words shooting a line of fire straight to his cock. Smiling in anticipation, he took Angel's head in his hands and knotted his fingers through the short strands of his lover's hair. 

 

Pulling Angel down, Lindsey gave him a brief and bruising kiss before burying his face in Angel's neck. Running his tongue across the mark he had left just moments earlier, Lindsey licked his way up to Angel's ear. "Bring it on, babe. I didn't come here for a snugglefest," Lindsey whispered before sinking his teeth back into Angel's neck.

 

"Holy fucking hell, Lin," the vampire gasped as he felt Lindsey's bite all through his body. He felt his fangs descend and was about to return the favor when Lindsey pulled back up and claimed his mouth once more. Having decided that Lindsey's mouth had to be the eighth deadliest sin created, at least to him, the vampire smiled inwardly, and decided to let the young man keep control of this kiss for now.

 

_For now_ lasted all of about five seconds after Lindsey pierced his lower lip on one of the fangs and the combined taste of their blood sent the vampire's senses spiraling. Struggling to maintain even a tenuous degree of control, he grabbed Lindsey's head and held him in place while he ravaged the warm mouth with his tongue. Lindsey gave in with a groan, arching up to grind his cock into Angel's leg as he felt those fangs graze over his bottom lip.

 

Feeling Lindsey's erection pressing against him, the vampire reached down and took it in his hand. He loved the feel of Lindsey's cock, whether it was in his hand or deeply buried in his body. He wanted it, all that heat and hardness wrapped in velvety softness, tasting like heavy cream was what the vampire craved now. 

 

Rubbing his thumb over the head, gathering the pre-come that was collecting there, Angel began stroking Lindsey, alternating gentle tugs with almost brutal pulls. Feeling Lindsey's moan vibrate through his mouth, his own cock jumped in response.

 

Pulling his mouth away from Lindsey's, the vampire began kissing and licking his way down his lover's body. "Are you ready to find out what a true claiming feels like, Lin?" The vampire asked as he took a nipple into his mouth and laved it gently, before scraping a fang gently across it.

 

"Fuck, Angel!" Lindsey hissed and arched up into Angel's fist, which was gripping him tightly.

 

"Not yet, babe, but we'll get there," The vampire smirked.

 

"Fuck, then get on with it. Quit jacking around," Lindsey said, frustration dripping off every word.

 

"You didn't answer my question, Lin," the vampire said, licking Lindsey's other nipple and slowly moving the hand wrapped around his hot cock simultaneously.

 

"Shit, Angel, you and your need to talk all the damn time is going to kill me. Can't you put that mouth to better use?" Lindsey ground out, pulling Angel back up to his mouth and shoving his tongue inside, slicing it open on one of the razor sharp fangs.

 

Lindsey's blood filled his mouth and the vampire began sucking at Lindsey's tongue like a starving man. When the blood had slowed to a trickle, he pulled away from Lindsey's mouth, slithering down his body until he was face to balls with Lindsey's cock.

 

The vampire pinned Lindsey down with one hand while the other hand gripped Lindsey's cock tightly. Looking up and catching the passion-filled expression on the younger man's face as he watched him, the vampire said, "Do you trust me?"

 

"Dammit, Angel! Your fucking fangs are inches away from my cock, my balls are practically in your palm and I'm begging you to suck me off, so _yeah_ , I'd say I trust you."

 

A small smile flickered across the vampire's lips before he leaned down slightly to lick at the head of Lindsey's cock, cleaning it of the salty dampness clinging there before swallowing the length of him all at once.

 

Lindsey bucked up helplessly, wanting to fuck Angel's mouth desperately, but found himself held fast to the mattress underneath his body. "Shit, Angel. I need to move. Please let me move."

 

The vampire ignored Lindsey's plea and continued working Lindsey's cock, tongue stroking and swirling, teeth lightly grazing sensitive skin as his mouth moved up and down the shaft. Removing his hand from Lindsey's cock, he took two saliva slicked fingers and slowly slid them into Lindsey's tight passage.

 

"Fuck, Angel." Lindsey was panting, the need to move raging now, and when the vampire scraped a nail over that bundle of nerves inside him, Lindsey begged. "Please, please, please, Angel, please. I want you inside me when I come, please."

 

Lindsey's begging was music to the vampire's ears and went straight to his own aching cock. He scissored his fingers inside Lindsey to give him a little more room, and then began to move them in time with his mouth. 

 

Lindsey screamed, his hands tightening up in Angel's hair, pulling at it painfully, and he knew Lindsey was close. His hold on Lindsey tightened, so that he couldn't move at all. 

 

The vampire closed his eyes, pushing his fingers hard against Lindsey's prostate, swallowing the throbbing hardness down into his throat. When he was nose to curls at the base of Lindsey's cock, he let instinct ride him, deeply breathing the strong scent of Lindsey's arousal and he gently eased his fangs into the tender flesh.

 

Lindsey knew what the vampire was going to do just seconds before feeling the piercing pain shoot through his body, only to be followed by the hardest mind blowing orgasm he had ever had. "HOLY SHIT, ANGEL!" Lindsey desperately tried to arch his body up, but the vampire held him hard against the mattress. "Fuck...fuck...FUCK! UNNGH," Lindsey screamed with one last half-hearted attempt to move before everything went black.

 

The vampire retracted the fangs, let Lindsey slip from his mouth, a grin of extreme satisfaction on his face. He gently moved back up the young man's body, checking out every bite mark to be sure he hadn't been too brutal in his claiming.

 

In the process, he inadvertently ran his hand over the tattoo on Lindsey's arm and although he still felt extreme heat coming from it, he wasn't burned this time. He smiled, leaned closer and just _inhaled_ the aroma that exuded from Lindsey now. 

 

"Mmm...you smell so damn good after you come. Salty, hot, and musky. You're mine now, too, Lindsey McDonald, come what may," Angelus whispered, then placed a soft kiss on his lover's forehead, and let himself fall into contented sleep.

 

 

******************************

 

 

Lindsey awoke to the soft sound of the telephone ringing on the night stand next to the bed. Waiting for Angel to answer it, Lindsey reached out to touch his lover but came up empty instead. Glancing around the room, he reached over and picked up the handset. "Angel?"

 

"Pfft. Yeah, as if. Who are you?" The voice that came through and assaulted Lindsey's ears was the same annoying one he'd gotten when he'd called from Oklahoma.

 

Lindsey smiled as he caught the sound of the shower running in the next room. "I'm Angel's wet dream, darlin'. Who are you?"

 

"I'm his assistant, Harmony, and if you're Angel's wet dream, then you must be Lindsey. Do me a favor and tell Angel he has a meeting in Wesley's office in half an hour, please?"

 

"Will do." Lindsey hung up the phone and headed into the bathroom.

 

 

*******************

 

Angel stood under the hot spray and just let the water cascade over his body, thinking how funny it was that this used to make him feel warm. Now, it seemed like a poor substitute for Lindsey and his heat. Smiling, he let his mind wander, lingering over the events as the last few hours replayed in his head. Tasting Lindsey's blood was heaven, but tasting the man's blood mixed with his come... _That's the ultimate high for a vampire. Total surrender. Wonder if Lindsey knows what really happened_?

 

Lindsey watched as Angel reached down, took his now hard cock into his hand and begin stroking it. _What the hell is he thinking about that made him hard? It had better be me!_

 

"So, are you just going to stand there watching or are you going to help your lover out?" Angel said, interrupting Lindsey's thoughts.

 

Lindsey stepped into the shower and placed his hand over Angel's, stilling the vampire's movements. "Tell me what you want."

 

"You, but since things got a little...rough...earlier, I'll give you a break. Just jack me off, Lindsey. Touch me, make me come, please." Pulling Lindsey closer, Angel kissed him hard, then pulled back slightly. "You know that you have the sexiest mouth I've ever had the pleasure of losing myself in." Angel bent down, gently kissing him this time.

 

Lindsey took Angel's cock in his hand, started slowly stroking it, knowing what the very warm water, and the heat of his hand undoubtedly felt like to the vampire. "If you hadn't held me down, I would've torn myself. I knew the claiming would be slightly feral. But that, damn, that was possibly the hottest thing I've ever felt, Angel," Lindsey whispered. "I liked it."

 

"Fuck, Lindsey. I'm glad you enjoyed it, but can we _not_ talk about it right now? All I want to focus on is your hand around my dick," Angel managed to growl out as he placed his own hand over Lindsey's and showed the young man exactly what he wanted. "Harder. Faster."

 

Lindsey smiled, gave the vampire what he wanted and soon Angel was coming in his hand. Watching Angel's face when he came was an erotic experience for Lindsey. Using his free hand, he pulled Angel's face down to his and kissed the vampire softly. 

 

"You're fucking beautiful, do you know that?" Releasing Angel's cock and bringing his hand up to his mouth, Lindsey watched Angel watch him as he licked all traces of Angel's come from his hand, then winked, "And you taste good, too."

 

"Shit, Linds, are you trying to drive me crazy?" Angel asked as he pushed his lover up against the wall and began trailing kisses along the young man's jaw.

 

"Actually, no, at least not right now," Lindsey replied. "Seems you have a meeting in a few minutes in Wesley's office. Your secretary called to remind you, but got me instead. I came to tell you and got a little sidetracked."

 

"Fuck." Angel sighed and rested his forehead against Lindsey's. He wanted to stay here in his suite and spend the day in Lindsey's arms. Or vice versa. He wasn't picky...just so long as Lindsey was touching him.

 

"Hey, babe," Lindsey laid a hand against Angel's cheek, then kissed him softly, "I want that, too. And we will...later."

 

Angel stared at the man before him. _Did I just say that out loud_?

 

Lindsey gave Angel a wicked smile. "It's written all over your face, how much you want me. And if you don't stop looking at me with _those_ eyes, then you _will_ be late. Now clean up and get out. I need to take a shower, too. All this dried blood and come itches like hell."


	25. Chapter 23  Checkmate

Angel walked into Wesley's office seven minutes late. Harmony was already there and handed him his morning mug of blood with a knowing smile on her face. Angel nodded his thanks and looked over at the other members of his team already gathered around the conference table in the center of the room. 

 

Smiling, he pulled out a chair next to Gunn and sat down. "Sorry I'm late. I was...detained. So, what have I missed?"

 

Wesley spoke first. "Not much. We haven't started yet. May I ask where Lindsey is?"

 

"He was in my shower when I left. Why?" Angel answered. He knew that there would be questions and he was prepared to answer them, although he was a little surprised at the feeling of protectiveness that surged through his body at the simple mention of his lover's name.

 

"Lindsey? Lawyer-boy is here? In the building? When did this happen?" Gunn asked, a little surprised. Yeah, he'd known it was possible, hadn't cared about it when Angel had went to Oklahoma, but that was before he'd had the upgrade done. _So, the golden boy's back. Fuck! That's just not fair. I wonder if his contract can be broken?_

 

"Sweet Pea's back? Hot damn! Now we're going to have fun!" Lorne chimed in from Gunn's right. "About damn time!"

 

"Lindsey's that good looking man in the elevator, right?" At Wesley's nod she continued, "He got here right around sunset yesterday. He helped me with the coatie problem. I really do need to thank him," Fred said, smiling in anticipation. She was startled at the frown Gunn turned on her, the amazed look Wesley gave her, and didn't understand the growl that came from Angel. "What?"

 

Lorne laughed. "Someone's jealous. Come on, Angel, hum a few bars of something for me, although I seriously doubt I need that much, since your face is speaking volumes this morning."

 

_It's written all over your face, how much you want me_. Lindsey's words played back in his mind and Angel decided he needed to...not hum a damn thing. He just smiled.

 

Lorne laughed. "Mmm, Angel-cakes, you're a very naughty fellow."

 

Fred mouth dropped open, then she exclaimed, "You mean...Angel and...that hot guy with the earrings? No way! Shit, since when is _Angel_ gay? Where was I when that happened??"

 

"Oh my God! Don't you know anything about vampires? Where the hell have you been, another dimension? I mean, haven't you ever heard the term _bisexual_ , Fred?" Harmony said, disgust in her voice. "It's just like that show I watch...."

 

"Not now, Harmony!" Angel, Lorne, Gunn, and Wesley said in unison.

 

"Alright, you don't have to get all pissy about it," Harmony grumbled.

 

"Angel, we need to talk about this seriously for a minute. You heard what Eve said yesterday. The Senior Partners aren't pleased that he's here," Wesley said.

 

"Eve Morgan's a bitch," Angel replied. "Do you know what she told Lindsey yesterday?"

 

"Yes, I do. I was there, remember? But I believe she was serious in regards to the Senior Partners and Lindsey. They don't want him here and frankly, I'm not sure I do either," Wesley stated, a little miffed at the vampire's attitude.

 

"Ho, what? Eve Morgan? You're saying that girl is related to _Lilah_?" Gunn said.

 

"Yes, she is. She's Lilah's younger sister. But that's not the issue right now. Angel, you have to talk him into leaving, if nothing more, than for _his_ safety. His life could be in danger, for all we know," Wesley said.

 

"If the Senior Partners didn't want Lindsey here, then why didn't they reverse the curse Lilah cast? She cursed him with the dreams, which led him to call me. The dreams which, _oh by the way_ , she gave me, too." Angel stood up and began walking slowly around the table. "They obviously wanted Lindsey to come back here. Question is: Why?"

 

"All the more reason for you to be wary of him," Wesley said. "It seems to me that you are...were...to be Lindsey's main target. What if that spell we found is, in effect, still in place and Lindsey is here to...harm you in some way? Even if he doesn't know it? Can we take that risk?"

 

Angel said, in a no-nonsense tone of voice, "Enough with the spell shit! Lindsey _is not_ leaving. That's final, Wesley."

 

"May I ask why he's so important to you?" Wesley pushed. He'd watched as Angel came in and noticed how relaxed his boss was. He hadn't seen that in a long time, but he couldn't shake the feeling of unease that washed over him.

 

"I was going to wait a little while before telling you this. I wanted to give us some time to adjust to it ourselves, but you're right, Wesley. Lindsey may be in danger from the Senior Partners and you all need to know why I can't just send him away," Angel said. "Harmony, will you please shut the door?" Angel turned back to his friends and smiled at each of them before catching Wesley's eyes.

 

"Lindsey probably isn't safe," Angel began, "But it's _not_ because he's here under some spell, with some secret agenda to carry out for the Senior Partners. If there ever was such a plan, then we...Lindsey and I...we threw a big wrench into it last night."

 

"I don't follow," Wesley said.

 

"We came to a new understanding," Angel stated. "Without getting into details, let's just say that we bonded last night."

 

" _OH MY GOD_! You did it, didn't you, Angel? You claimed Lindsey. You took-"

 

"HARMONY!" Angel snapped, "Sit down and shut up or leave. Either way, _keep your mouth shut_."

 

Angel kept his eyes focused on Wesley and watched as the hazel eyes turned a shade darker at Harmony's outburst. Angel knew then that Wesley knew what they'd done. Angel also knew that if anyone could understand this unexpected turn of events, it would be Wesley. He was counting on that.

 

Taking a deep breath he began, "Yes, Harm, I claimed Lindsey. It was mutual and No - I didn't turn him. I don't plan on ever turning him." Angel paused, thinking _Not unless I have to_.

 

"What if he asks?" Wesley pushed, taking advantage of Angel's silence.

 

"He won't. He doesn't want to be a vampire," Angel answered.

 

"That's true. Lindsey was always afraid of that, especially in his earlier days with Wolfram & Hart," Lorne stated.

 

"Angel, doesn't this 'claiming' thing mean that you're bound to each other in some way?" Fred asked quietly, still in shock, trying to imagine Angel with the man she'd met the day before. 

 

"Yes, it does," Wesley said. "It's a vampire ritual, Fred. It's mystical, ageless, and eternal. And it can be quite brutal, from what I understand. Is Lindsey...you didn't hurt him, did you?"

 

Angel said, "He's fine, Wesley. Lindsey knew what to expect. You didn't think he'd come back here, to a place he hates, just for kicks, now, did you? I mean, with the exception of Fred and Harmony, you all thought I'd go after him a long time ago. You all knew I had a thing for Lindsey. It's hardly a shock now, is it?"

 

"Holy Shit!" Harmony squealed. "Yes! My boss SO rules! I _love_ this job!" Noticing the looks sent her way, she muttered, "Shutting up now. Jeez!"

 

The former watcher looked back at his friend and said, "Why didn't you just mark him, if you wanted to show he was yours? I don't understand this, when you _know_ Lindsey doesn't believe in your curse."

 

"Wait a minute, wait a minute," Gunn said. "That's impossible, man. Lindsey worked damn hard trying to bring Angelus forth. Don't y'all remember that?"

 

"No," Lorne softly said. "It was never _Angelus_ Lindsey focused on. He always saw Angel somewhat differently than we do. I'm not saying he's right, we all know better. But he's not entirely wrong, either." He looked like he wanted to add something else, but refrained from doing so.

 

"What is it, Lorne?" Angel asked.

 

"I believe Lindsey's been in love with you a very long time, Angel-cakes. I could see it all over him the last time I read him, right before he left," Lorne said.

 

"Are you _sure_ about that, Lorne?" Wesley said, unconvinced.

 

"100%, Wesley. His aura was screaming it, but Sweet Pea was too busy being resentful and angry to pay attention," Lorne said and Angel smiled in reply. 

 

Silence fell over the group. Lorne and Harmony were smiling like idiots. Fred still looked shell-shocked. Gunn was looking like a stray had just wandered into his bone yard. Wesley was concerned for his friend, and he felt like some new apocalypse had just begun.

 

 

*****************************

 

 

Lindsey walked out of the bathroom, into the bedroom and wasn't really surprised to find Eve sitting on the bed. _Bitch!_ He thought, damn glad he'd wrapped a towel around his waist. He frowned at her. "How the hell did you get in here?"

 

Eve smiled sweetly. "I have a key, of course. Why wouldn't I? I did have sex with him, you know."

 

Lindsey laughed. "That dog won't hunt, Eve. Angel told me all about it. Now, gimme," he said, holding out his hand.

 

She dug in her pocket and handed it to him. Eve shrugged. "I can get another, you know. Call it a perk of the job."

 

"If you know what's best for you, you'd better just do your job and stop trying to play a game, Eve. Didn't you learn anything from Lilah?" Lindsey said.

 

Eve smiled that evil little smile of hers, looked him up and down. She leaned back a little, supporting her back with her elbows. "You look damn good, Lindsey. Why don't you join me? We could play while Angel's gone."

 

Lindsey looked her over with the same arrogance she had him. She was pretty, he had to give her that, but even when he'd been trying so damn hard to be evil, he hadn't been that stupid. He looked into her eyes and said, "And you just look desperate, Eve. I'd fuck every demon in hell before I'd fuck you. What about that don't you understand?"

 

Eve laughed, stood up, and moved close to him. She touched the bite mark Angel had left. "Looks to me as if you have a head start on that ambition, Lindsey. What happened? Angel decided to put his mark on you? I bet you came when he did it, too."

 

Lindsey chuckled. "It was a bit more _possessive_ than that, Eve darlin'."

 

She jerked her hand away. "Angel wouldn't do that," she hissed.

 

"No, he didn't," Lindsey taunted her. " _We did it_."

 

"You bastard!" Eve snarled, then she slapped him. She pulled her hand back to do it again, and was shocked when it was caught in a firm grip, and she was violently turned around.

 

"Angel does _not_ like his family fucked with, pet. Best you learn that now. Save yourself a whole lotta grief later," Spike said.

 

"Let me go, you jackass," Eve demanded.

 

Spike smiled, let her arm go, then stood to the side.

 

Rubbing her wrist, Eve shot Lindsey an evil glare. "The Senior Partners aren't going to be pleased about this, Lindsey. This wasn't the way it was supposed to happen."

 

"Oh, let me guess. I was supposed to turn him dark again, and _then_ seduce him?" Lindsey laughed. "If that's what your plan was, you can forget it, sweetheart. The Senior Partners don't have anything to do with this."

 

Eve smiled. "You don't think so? Why else would you still be alive, Lindsey?"

 

"I'm alive because they have better things to worry about than little ole me, that's why," Lindsey said. "I'm nothing to them, found that out years ago. So don't try and pull that bullshit on me, darlin', cause it ain't working."

 

"I'm going to enjoy the look on your face when you find out differently," Eve said. "You're still under contract, you know."

 

Lindsey smirked at her. "What do you think they'll do? Suck me into a portal, so we can have a chat about how I'm such a bad boy?"

 

Eve glared at him, angrily muttered, "Asshole," then turned around and left with as much panache as she could muster.

 

"Bloody hell, I wish Angel would just let me eat her and get it over with!" Spike growled.

 

Lindsey laughed. "I'd be careful what you wish for, man. Her veins are probably full of venom."

 

Spike chuckled. "Wouldn't doubt it. So, you're Lindsey, right? Heard `em talking in the Watcher's office. Thought I'd come check on you, see if you were okay after last night, since you're family now, and all. I'm Spike."

 

"Spike? Oh, yeah- I know who you are," Lindsey said. "Drusilla turned you in London....hey, wait a second. Why'd you call me family? Angel didn't turn me."

 

"Knew that, pet. He told me what he was gonna do, if you came back," Spike said. "That makes you family in my book." He stepped into Lindsey's personal space, leaned forward a little, and inhaled the younger man's aroma.

 

Lindsey went perfectly still. He'd had this done to him an unknown number of times, and he'd lost whatever small fear he'd had long ago. Besides, Spike couldn't bite him now, not after the claiming. 

 

"Mmm, you smell sweet and spicy, like a gingersnap cookie," Spike softly said. "Good thing Angel did it last night, or I'd be tempted, cause boy, you smell good enough to eat. Tell me, Gingersnap, did you like what Angel did to you?"

 

"What?" Lindsey said, mystified.

 

Spike's glance slid down to the towel around the young man's waist. Lindsey blushed red and that was answer enough for Spike. He grinned. "Hmm, you're a naughty boy, aren't you? Damn, Angel knows how to pick them," he said. "Come on, get dressed, let's go annoy him, Gingersnap. I wanna see the look on his fa-"

 

" _Owww_!" They both yelled. Lindsey put his hand on his upper arm, glaring at Spike.

 

Spike pulled away, frowning at the light burn on his palm. He turned Lindsey's arm, looked at the tattoo, and grinned again. "Oh, you're just full of surprises, aren't you? Can Peaches touch that?"

 

Lindsey jerked out of his grasp, and moved away from Spike. "Not that I'm aware of, but after last night, I'm not sure," he said, pulling his jeans on.

 

"I hope he can't! I bet he was pissed off when he found out he couldn't," Spike said, glee in his voice, and a gleam of mischief in his eyes. "Angel _finally_ found someone he wants forever, and it would just be too funny if he can't touch all of you. C'mon, hurry up, I wanna go fuck with his head a little!"

 

Lindsey shook his head, and continued dressing, but he couldn't keep from smiling at Spike, who was acting like a kid with a new toy.


	26. Chapter 24  Jealousies

Charles Gunn sat behind his desk and looked at the file open before him without actually looking at it. He was replaying bits and pieces of the meeting in Wesley's office not even an hour ago, wondering what Lindsey's return meant for him. 

 

Two days ago, he would have been happy to return to his old self and lose some of this added responsibility, but now, he wasn't so sure. He kinda liked being the smart one for a change. Fred and Wesley were _demon_ smart and that was fine, but here at Wolfram  & Hart, _Charles Gunn_ was in the know and he wanted to keep it that way.

 

"Charles?"

 

Gunn jumped and looked to where Fred was standing, just inside the door. Smiling, he waved her in. "Hey Fred, what's up?"

 

"I was going to ask you that. You were looking at that file like you'd rather be shredding it than reading it," Fred said.

 

"Actually, not a bad idea." Gunn looked at her, grimacing. "But it wouldn't do any good. Besides, it's Lindsey McDonald's file. Angel asked me to look into his...damn, what do we call Lindsey now? Angel's 'boyfriend'?"

 

"How about _Lindsey_? That is his name, right?" Fred said, a little put off by Gunn's attitude.

 

"Well, whatever _Lindsey_ is, Angel asked me to look into his file and see what we can do about the contract that Lindsey signed as he as moving up the ladder here," Gunn said sarcastically.

 

"You don't like Lindsey much, do you?" Fred said, overwhelmingly curious why she had never heard this man _mentioned_ before, if everyone else had known Angel had been so....infatuated with him.

 

"Fred, you weren't here when the Lindsey game was in play. What that man did to Angel was evil and unforgivable, and Angel was right to see him out of town," Gunn replied.

 

"That may be, Charles, but obviously Lindsey's changed, otherwise Angel wouldn't have made such a finite move. I mean, they are bound to each other forever," Fred said.

 

"That's what I don't understand! _Why?_ Why did Angel make such a permanent move? Wasn't everyone happy with the way things were?" Gunn asked.

 

"Evidently not. Besides, according to Angel, y'all expected a reunion of sorts between him and Lindsey, anyways.

So, why should any of this be surprising?" Fred said.

 

"We expected Angel to follow up on Lindsey," Gunn hastily explained. "You know, make sure that Wolfram & Hart left him alone, that he was okay. A phone call would've worked. I don't think any of us expected this. Now he's practically married to the guy! How did that happen? They were sworn enemies!"

 

"He loves Lindsey," Fred softly said.

 

"How would you know, Fred? You've never seen them together," Gunn said.

 

"Angel wouldn't have made such a huge move, if there weren't intense feelings involved, Charles. And the way Angel talks about Lindsey, there's definitely intense feelings."

 

"Yeah-horniness. Angel wanted to get laid. _That_ I can almost hang with, but this whole claiming thing...that bothers me," Gunn replied.

 

"Bothers you, huh? You sound like you're jealous, Charles," Fred said.

 

"Jealous? Hell, no! But in no _way_ am I gonna let some redneck lawyer come in here, and start changing things!" Gunn stated.

 

"Okay, so you're not jealous, but you're definitely feeling threatened. Look, Charles, that _redneck lawyer_ probably knows more about this place than you, me, Wes, and Angel do - combined. Not to mentioned that he's the only one we know of who managed to escape from here _alive_." She smiled reassuringly to Gunn. "But if you're worried about your job - don't. Angel said that Lindsey came back here for him, not the firm. And even if Lindsey does decide to work here - there's always room for another lawyer for the good guys - right?"

 

"I guess, but can I just say for the record...I don't trust him _or_ his reason for being here," Charles stated.

 

"You're entitled, I guess. But keep in mind - Angel claimed Lindsey- he can't send him away again. We're all going to have to get used to Lindsey being around for a LONG time. I suggest we make the most of it." Fred gave Gunn a long look and turned and walked out the door.

 

Gunn watched the young woman's retreating figure until she was out of sight, then turned back to Lindsey's file. _Nope. No way am I gonna make the most of this. And NO WAY am I gonna just sit here while Lindsey McDonald makes himself comfortable on my turf._

 

Picking up the file in front of him, Gunn gave it a cursory glance, then threw it in the trash. _Sorry, Angel. I couldn't find a loophole in Lindsey's perpetuity contract. Seems that if the Senior Partners want to kill him then....they can.....and hopefully will._

 

 

*********************************

 

 

Wesley looked at his friend, tired of discussing Eve, the Senior Partners, everything Angel had thrown up for a topic, as if he were desperate to avoid the questions the former Watcher needed the answers to. Unfortunately for the vampire, Wesley had no intention of backing off until he _knew_ Angel's true emotions for Lindsey.

 

"Angel, please! I'm heartily sick of you beating around the bush," Wesley said, exasperation creeping into his voice. "I know you believe I'm prying where I have no business, but...if you were me, what would you do?"

 

Momentary resentment for Wesley welled up within Angel, but he pushed it away. _He doesn't remember Connor, doesn't remember any of that. All he knows is I was once close to becoming Angelus, and Lindsey was part of the reason why._ Angel sighed for effect. _Fuck it. Either he'll understand or he won't._

 

"Wesley, I've known you longer than anyone else here. You've seen me at my worst, you've seen me at my best and you've fought by my side. You're one of my closest, if not the closest, friend I've got. God knows, we've been at cross-purposes before, and damn it, I don't want to do that again. I want you to understand but I'm not going to beg you to understand. Either you do or you don't, but no matter what, I want you to know that there's not one damn thing you can say to change my mind. This has gone way past that point now," Angel said.

 

"I'm very well aware of that, Angel," Wesley said. "Don't you think I've seen how lonely you are? Don't you know I've wished a million times you could have someone? Do you think I'm that insensitive?"

 

"No, I don't," Angel replied. "Alright, Wes. The truth is I'm in love with Lindsey. I know you.....wonder how that could be, because all you know is the anger and resentment I displayed towards him."

 

Wesley thought about that. "No, I knew you felt _something_ for Lindsey other than that, Angel. You've always said his name with a softness that I've only heard you use for one other person. And deep down, I always suspected most of the anger was a mask you showed to cover up the hurt you felt every time Lindsey did something wrong."

 

"Yes, that's true," Angel said. "But now, I've got him back. Lindsey's here, he came back. He came back for _me_. Do you have any idea what that means to me, Wesley? I can't lose him again. I can't. I let him walk away twice and I can't do it again, not after everything I've been through."

 

Wesley thought how best to word his next question. It wasn't a question of Angel's sexuality, because as a former Watcher, he was well aware of the proclivities of vampires. No, he was so concerned because it was _Lindsey McDonald_ Angel had chosen, and while Wesley could see the physical attraction in the man, he couldn't understand the depth of Angel's emotional attachment to a man who was so morally ambiguous.

 

There was something he was missing in all of this, and it was why he thought Lilah's gesture in trying to save her ex-colleague was behind it. They had both been the recipients of dreams, as per the curse, spell or whatever it was. But even with that, it shouldn't have been the reason Lindsey had reached out to Angel, not after having been apart for so long. Both men were too strong for that. 

 

No, there was something else going on, _something else_ that had prompted that phone call. Something that made them both feel incomplete without the other. Whatever it was, Lilah's casting wasn't part of it, because as far as he could tell, the casting had only cloaked the former lawyer from the Beast's attention.

 

Now Angel had bound himself for eternity with a man who was not only very mortal, but who had willingly returned the gesture. Wesley had read several accounts of vampire claiming, enough to know how truly rare such a happening was and he wondered if either Angel or Lindsey knew what they had done to themselves. Did they know that the death of one of them would leave the other so devastated, only death would ease the pain? Why would Angel or Lindsey have done that? Had they done it only to thwart the Senior Partners, who clearly didn't want Lindsey here?

 

Before Wesley could ask any of his questions, however, they were answered for him. Angel's face got an expression on it Wesley had never seen there before. He shut his eyes and whispered, "Lindsey," and the emotion in his face deepened. He looked content, at peace with himself. 

 

Seconds later, when Lindsey walked in, with Spike in tow, Angel opened his eyes. Their eyes met, and it took Wesley's breath away. The emotions they felt sang in the air. It was a physical presence, intelligible to anyone near them. And it was the most stunning thing Wesley had ever seen.

 

The former Watcher caught Angel's gaze, nodded once, and he left the room a man with a mission. He had to try and find a way to prevent Angelus from emerging, or from inflicting damage to Lindsey if he did and Wesley knew he didn't have much time to work with, either.


	27. Chapter 25  Family

Stepping aside to let Wesley by, Lindsey stood just inside the door of the ex-Watcher's office and let his eyes slowly wander up the vampire's body, until he caught Angel's amused look. "Like what you see, Lindsey?" Angel asked, his voice a little rougher than he expected.

 

"You know I do," Lindsey replied, his voice husky, as he walked over, leaned down to glance a soft kiss across Angel's lips. "Hey. Missed you. I needed someone to scrub my back."

 

 

Growling softly, Angel pulled Lindsey back for a more thorough kiss. "Oh yeah? Promise me another shower like that one, and I'll definitely stay and scrub your back."

 

Lindsey slid his hands up Angel's silk covered chest, letting the tips of his fingers graze gently over the peaked nipples underneath the material. Hearing Angel's growl getting a little louder, Lindsey smiled and nipped gently on Angel's bottom lip. "That's an easy promise to make."

 

"You two need a room? Or maybe you'd like to just have at it on that big table there." Spike stood by the door and motioned to the conference table behind the lovers. "Either way, can I watch?"

 

"Spike," Angel said, glancing at the blond menace. "I thought you were gone."

 

"Hell, Angel, I was gone for about 3 months. What? You didn't miss me?" Spike said, feigning hurt feelings. "I'm crushed!"

 

"Not really, no," Angel replied. "Didn't find what you were looking for?"

 

Spike snorted. "Found it, alright. Don't care to talk about it, either."

 

"So you came back here for what? To hear me say _I told you so_?" Angel asked, amused at Spike's refusal to admit that he had been right about Buffy.

 

Spike looked over to Angel expecting to hear just those words and was surprised at what he saw. Yes, the 'I told you so' look was there but it was the compassion in the other vampire's eyes that shocked Spike the most. It was also what _hurt_ the most. And _that_ just irritated the hell out of him, so he decided to irritate back.

 

"I was driving around, and I got to wondering if your boy toy came to town," Spike replied, unwilling to say his grandsire had been right, or that he'd felt without purpose and that he'd come back because he'd felt the need to help Angel.

 

"Boy toy, my ass," Lindsey said, chuckling, then standing up, he leaned against the desk, crossing his arms. "Do I look like a toy to you?"

 

"You really want me to answer that, Gingersnap?" Spike said.

 

Lindsey thought about it, then shook his head no, and Spike smiled. "I couldn't get a picture in my head of you with a guy, Peaches. So I came back. Bloody hell, mate...how the hell do you always pick the nummiest ones? Mmm, Angel...he's hot. Damn hot."

 

Angel growled. Lindsey grinned. "Thank you," he said.

 

"Gingersnap looks even better without those clothes on," Spike said, really teasing the other vampire now.

 

Angel moved so fast, it startled both men. He was out of the chair and had Spike pinned to the wall before they could even blink. "What did you say?" Angel snarled.

 

Spike laughed. "He has a really gorgeous ass, Peaches."

 

Angel pulled Spike forward a little, then slammed him back again. Spike laughed again, but before Angel could do anything else, he felt Lindsey's hand on his arm. "Nothing happened, Angel," Lindsey softly said. "Spike was just there when I got dressed, that's all. Let him go."

 

"Yeah, let me go," Spike cockily said. "Besides, I wasn't the only one there with him. Seems little Miss Evie has a thing for your boyfriend, too."

 

Angel scowled, but he released the other vampire. "Eve was there? In the penthouse? Why?"

 

Spike said, "Besides wanting to boff your boy here, not really sure, but I daresay she begs watching."

 

Lindsey rolled his eyes at Spike's remark and said, "She wanted to cause trouble. It's her forte in life, or at least in mine, anyway. But Spike's right. She needs watching. She was pissed off when she found out about last night." Lindsey found himself subconsciously rubbing the mark in his neck.

 

Angel, watching Lindsey's hand, reached out and gently traced his fingers over the mark he had left there. "She upset about this? Or the fact that we had sex?" 

 

Lindsey softly moaned and shivered at the feel of Angel touching the bite. His eyes met Angel's, the need in them more than clear to the vampire. Angel made Lindsey burn, made him want, made him want Angel inside of him right now, and he really didn't care if Spike was watching or not. He grinned at Angel, who had raised an eyebrow, and he softly answered, "Probably both, but I think the claiming was what really got her going."

 

Spike grinned at the smell of Lindsey's arousal. He was oddly satisfied to see the young man so enamored with Angel, for some reason he couldn't fathom. He said, "Got her going good, too. She was about to give Gingersnap here a nice little shiner as a goodbye gift, but I stopped her. Told the bint you didn't like your family fucked with. So, see now, you owe me one."

 

"I don't owe you a damn thing," Angel said. "And why are you calling Lindsey _Gingersnap_ , for God's sake?"

 

"Cause he smells all sweet, hot and spicy. His voice sounds like honey and pears, smooth and gritty. Mmm...he's yummy all over, Angel," Spike taunted Angel.

 

"You need to work on that food fetish you have, Spike," Angel grumbled. "You're the only vampire I know who eats food."

 

"Oh, that's funny coming from someone who ate Lindsey up last night," Spike stated. "But Christ...you two are so sweet, you give me a fangache. It's sexy as hell, though."

 

Lindsey started laughing, he couldn't help it. The look Angel got on his face was priceless. "Oh my god..." he wheezed. "Spike, you...you're gonna piss him off again."

 

"Nah," Spike said. "Why would I do that?"

 

"To annoy me, why else?" Angel said, glowering at the other

vampire. "Just how close did you get to Lindsey, Spike?"

 

Spike grinned. "This close," he said, showing Angel his burned palm. "Can you touch the tattoo, Peaches?"

 

Angel took Spike's hand, looking at the light burn. "I couldn't at first, which was sort of point of the tattoo...but I can now. I'm assuming it's because Lindsey tainted his blood with mine, but if it burned you....." Angel paused. "Lindsey, do you have any idea why it would have burned Spike?"

 

"No, not really," Lindsey said. "I'd pretty much assumed the same as you. And before you accuse Spike of trying to seduce me or something, he didn't do anything every other vampire I've come into contact with has. I always get smelled up, it doesn't bother me. Right off hand, I'd say you were the only one who didn't do it when we first met. Oh yeah, and Drusilla didn't either, for some odd reason."

 

"Dru? You met Dru?" Spike said, and in the back of his mind, he felt a little _tingle_.

 

"Yeah, a couple of years ago, why?" Lindsey replied.

 

"I told you that before you left, Spike," Angel said. "Don't you remember?"

 

The tingle became a dull nagging sensation in Spike's head. "Was this when Dru re-vamped Darla?"

 

Lindsey's face paled a little, but he didn't look away from Spike. "Yes, it was," he answered.

 

Spike was silent, his mind racing, trying to recall everything Drusilla had said when she'd come to Sunnydale. He now knew exactly who Lindsey was and was kind of embarrassed he hadn't realized this when Angel had discussed the young lawyer with him months ago. But he had this sinking feeling that Dru had said something important about Gingersnap back then...and _fuck_ , he couldn't recall what it was. "Dammit," he muttered.

 

"What is it, Spike?" Angel said. He _hated_ seeing that look on his grandchilde's face. It didn't bode well, whenever Spike thought about Dru like that. It meant Spike was remembering something, and Angel had a feeling he wasn't going to care much for anything coming from the insanity of Drusilla's mind.

 

Spike shook his head. "Can't recall what Dru said. Could be important, though. I'm gonna have to go think about it," he said. Moving to where Lindsey was, catching him totally off-guard, the vampire reached out and pulled Lindsey to him, swiftly kissing the young man. "Welcome to the family, pet. And don't worry about it. Darla's death wasn't your fault." Then Spike turned and left without a backward glance at his grandsire.

 

"Uh! I can't believe he did that!" Lindsey said. "Ewww!"

 

Angel was the one who laughed this time. He gently pulled Lindsey into an embrace. "What's the matter, Lin? Spike doesn't turn you on?"

 

Lindsey looked up into Angel's eyes and grinned. "Hell, no. He's too crass for my tastes. Besides, you're the only one I want. Thought I made that clear last night. But, if you're in doubt, I'd be more than willing to show you again, lover."

 

Angel leaned down and took Lindsey's lips in a kiss that left no doubts in his mind about what the vampire wanted. It set Lindsey on fire, and he didn't try and battle for control, he just kissed Angel back, softly whimpering under the assualt. Angel responded by shifting him closer, drawing him in, and Lindsey didn't know why he found desire in someone stronger than him, he only knew it _was_.

 

"Excuse me?" They both turned to see Lorne standing in the doorway.


	28. Chapter 26  Intrigue

"Sorry to break up your little snugglefest Angel-cakes, but you're needed in the lab, something about a relic or runes, something or other." Lorne stepped in the office and grinned at Lindsey. "Lindsey, look at you. Been living at the gym, Cupcake? Tell me," he continued, nodding to Angel, "what are you doing with this big lug? Thought you had better taste."

 

Lindsey smiled as he looked at his long time friend. Hearing Angel's low growl of possessiveness, Lindsey slipped his hand into the vampire's and squeezed. "Careful, Lorne. Angel's kinda cranky today. I think he got up on the wrong side of the bed."

 

"Well, if someone hadn't been hogging the bed, then maybe I would have gotten up in a better mood," Angel said, softly squeezing the hand held within his in response. He lifted Lindsey's hand to his mouth to press a kiss to the back of it, then moved in to place a soft kiss on his lips. "I gotta run, but I'll be back as soon as I can. You can wait for me either in my office or the penthouse, it's up to you."

 

"I'll make sure he gets to one or the other, Sweet Cheeks, you just go and see what Fred needs." Lorne took Lindsey's free hand in his and winked at Angel.

 

Angel frowned but didn't say anything, he just gently removed Lindsey's hand from Lorne's. Now holding both of his lover's hands in his own, Angel smiled and said, "When I get back, we need to talk about moving you in, okay?"

 

Lindsey tensed, "Yeah, we'll talk about that, but you need to go. I'll be here, don't worry."

 

Angel felt Lindsey's tension and knew that he would have to proceed carefully. He didn't want to scare Lindsey off now that they were finally together. He was going to make this trip to the lab as short as possible. Giving Lindsey a short, yet very possessive kiss, Angel turned and headed to the lab.

 

Lindsey turned to Lorne and smiled. "So Lorne, how have you been doin'?"

 

Lorne turned Lindsey toward the door with a big grin, "Funny you should ask, Sweetpea. Let's take a walk and I'll fill you in."

 

 

****************************

 

 

Eve walked into Gunn's office and looked around. Finding herself alone, she decided to take a look around, maybe find out what their Mr. Gunn was up to these days. She walked straight to the desk and thumbed through the files on the corner. Finding nothing of interest, she nosed around a few drawers until a red file in the trash can caught her eye.

 

Pulling it out, she walked over to a chair located in front of the desk and sat down. To anybody passing by or even to Charles himself, she looked like someone waiting patiently for the young lawyer to return.

 

Smiling, she looked down at the file marked 'Lindsey McDonald'. "Well, well," she said, talking to the file. "Tell me, did you fall into the trash by accident or did someone put you there, like say...Charles?" Since no answer would be forthcoming, Eve opened the file and let the excitement surge through her when she noticed Charles' notes were still inside the file.

 

_Look into perpetuity contract._

_Can it be broken or altered?_

 

_So this is what you're looking for, Angel? A way to keep your precious Lindsey safe?_ Eve thought, that feeling of excitement turning into seething anger. She was still furious about what had happened in the penthouse. Lindsey's rejection of her still smarted, but the real kicker was what Lindsey had said took place last night between him and Angel.

 

She had wanted to be the one to seduce Lindsey. She needed him to side with her. She was tired of being the Senior Partner's Girl Friday and she damn sure didn't want anything more to do with that hypocritical vampire. Nope, she wanted _more_ and Lindsey was going to be her means of getting it. But now...

 

Just recalling the look of happy contentment on Lindsey's face tinged with amusement, which she was sure was at her expense, made the anger turn into hatred. And that hatred gave her a sense of clarity. Taking a few calming breaths, Eve closed the file, slid it around to her back and tucked it in the waistband of her skirt, covering it with her blouse. Then she sat back to wait.

 

 

*****************************

 

 

Lindsey walked into Angel's office fully expecting to be on his own for a while. He was a little upset that Angel hadn't asked if he wanted to come along to the lab, but he also knew that he was going to have to start over with the rest of Angel's team. However, there was at least one person that seemed to be okay with his and Angel's relationship and he was standing at the window staring outside, letting the late afternoon sun wash over his pale features.

 

"Kinda weird seeing you in the sunlight. Does Angel enjoy it like you do?" Lindsey asked, walking over to stand beside Spike.

 

"More, I think. Makes him feel more normal." Spike turned, walked over to the desk and sat on the corner. "Where is the big pouf anyways? I can't imagine him leaving you alone for anything."

 

"He was needed in the lab and why wouldn't he leave me alone for a little while? We're lovers, it's not like we're married or anything," Lindsey said.

 

"Is that what you think, Lindsey? That you can play this little love game you got goin' with Angel and then walk away when it suits you? Do you even know what you've gotten yourself into here?" Spike gave a small laugh and shook his head, "Tell me, Pet, did you like it when Angel swallowed you whole? Did you get off on the rush?" Spike asked, a faint smile dancing around his mouth.

 

Lindsey looked over at the vampire and upon seeing the expression on Spike's face, he knew that Spike knew what Angel had done to him. Feeling jealous rage start to move through him, Lindsey said, "You know I did. Didn't you, Spike? Didn't you like it when he did it to you?"

 

Spike grinned. "Gingersnap, I could have all kinds of fun with you. Look at you. You, who not too long ago, wanted Angel dead. Now you're upset and jealous because others have shared his bed, and a fine bed it is, but as for-"

 

"You know what, Spike? I don't want to know. Forget I asked," Lindsey interrupted, not even wanting to go there. He didn't even want to try to explain the whole _I was pissed cause Darla slept with Angel, but I was even MORE pissed because Angel slept with her_ cause it was just too freaky to understand.

 

"As I was saying...BUT as for a true claiming, no. Angelus never claimed me or anyone else for that matter. Trust me when I say, No one-and I mean NO ONE-has gotten under his skin like you have," Spike said, wondering at the fleeting expression that crossed Lindsey's face.

 

Lindsey thought about that, then he said, "You mean Angel. Angel's never claimed anybody else."

 

"What?" Spike said.

 

"You said Angelus," Lindsey replied.

 

Spike shrugged. "Angelus, Angel, Peaches, all one and the same...although I doubt I'd call Angelus 'Peaches' to his face."

 

"So you _don't_ believe that Angelus is a separate personality. That he and Angel are the same?" Lindsey said. "I thought I was the only one who believed that."

 

Spike looked at Lindsey in complete amazement."What are you, _DAFT_? Angel doesn't suffer from Multiple Personality Disorder, Lindsey. Well, maybe he does...but not in the way you're talking about. Angelus is very real." 

 

Spike paused as he watched Lindsey began to pace the room. "Are you saying that you _don't_ believe in Angelus?" Spike finally asked.

 

"I believe that Angel has a dark side, yes. I've seen it, up close and personal. And I'm not afraid of him, Spike. I never fucking was," Lindsey said. "Don't you realize that he was in game face almost the entire time we were together last night? I didn't freak out, I didn't shy away from him, and I damn sure wasn't scared! But to think that he has an entirely different _person_ inside him...I don't buy it. And I damn sure don't believe in that fucking gypsy curse."

 

"Not person, luv, demon. Angel is first and foremost a demon. Never forget that. _Angel_ just happens to be the more human side of him, due to the soul. Remove that and you'll have one very mean son-of-a-bitch licking at your neck. And the first thing that Angelus would do is kill everyone who is/was dear to Angel, beginning with...you," Spike stopped, tilted his head a little as he considered Lindsey.

 

His gaze locking on the mark plainly visible at the side of Lindsey's throat and his lips slowly curved into a smile. "Maybe that's why he did it, why Angel claimed you like that...so Angelus couldn't touch you. I'll have to give him points for that one." Spike said, hopping off the desk.

 

Lindsey just stared and the vampire. "What are you saying? That Angel claimed me to keep me safe?"

 

"I'm not saying anything, pet. I'm just telling you what it looks like to me, is all," Spike replied.

 

"Bullshit! Angel and I did it because we love each other." Lindsey was damn near yelling now.

 

Spike walked over and shut the door before they attracted any unwanted eavesdroppers. "Look, Lindsey. I don't doubt that Angel cares about you-a lot even. And you're right, he does love you, as much as he can, but he didn't have to bind you to him like that." Spike walked over and stood in front of Lindsey. "Do you really understand what he did, Lindsey? You're right when you say you're not married. Married people can divorce and walk away if things go south. You and Angel are-"

 

"Mated," Lindsey interrupted. "Yeah, I know, Spike. I know everything about it. It was what I wanted. I knew what I was getting into. I don't want to be apart from him, ever," Lindsey stated vehemently.

 

"Look, mate. I'm glad you promised Angel forever. He deserves it. I just wanted to know that _you_ knew the deal. But this denial you have for Angelus...be careful with it. If Angelus dies because someone was protecting you, then Angel dies, too." Spike rubbed his fingers lightly over the mark on Lindsey's neck. "And where will that leave you, pet?"

 

"Take your fucking hand off him, Spike," Angel growled, standing in the doorway. "What part of that mark on his neck do you not get? The part that he's mine or _THE PART WHERE HE'S MINE!_ "

 

Lindsey and Spike had turned at the sound of Angel's voice. Lindsey had known Angel was quite possessive of him, but was surprised when Angel vamped out at the end of that short tirade, which frankly, sounded about as confusing as his Angel/Darla issues. That last sentence just didn't add up, it sounded _off_ somehow.

 

Spike was even more shocked than Lindsey. Because the being who was stalking toward him in a towering rage, who yanked his head to the side, and buried his fangs in his neck was not Peaches. This was one hundred percent _Angelus_.

 

"Hey!" Lindsey growled, reaching out and pulling his lover off Spike. "Leave Spike the fuck alone!" He moved to stand between the two vampires. "He didn't do anything!"

 

"Yes, he did," Angelus growled. "He touched you. No one is allowed to touch you but me, Lindsey. No one!"

 

"Oh, so it's wrong for Spike to touch me, but it's okay for _you_ to bury your face in his neck?" Lindsey snarled. "I don't fucking think so! If you wanna suck neck, you suck mine. Are we clear on that?"

 

"Lin, you don't understand-"

 

"Oh, I understand just fucking fine," Lindsey raged. "You think because you're his grandsire, you can do what the hell you want to Spike. Well, I didn't like seeing that. I don't want you doing it again, Angel. You're mine, _MINE_ , and I'm not sharing you with anyone, even if it's only through a blood link."

 

The vampire looked down into the face of his lover. He'd seen Lindsey pissed off about Darla, but _damn_. He hadn't realized that Lindsey was this possessive over _him_. He decided that he liked it. 

 

He began making a soft purring noise, reaching out to touch the bite himself. Lindsey sucked in his breath and the vampire rubbed it with a bit more pressure. Lindsey whimpered, and the heady smell of his arousal scented the air like perfume. Omitting a soft growl, Angelus morphed back into human features, bending down to lick at Lindsey's lips.

 

Spike was now more shocked than he'd ever been in his life. He couldn't believe what he'd just witnessed. No fucking wonder Lindsey didn't believe in Angelus. He'd undoubtedly been dealing with the bastard unknowingly on and off, all this time. 

 

And Spike now had to wonder if Lindsey was even a threat to Angel's soul. He'd just seen the boy take the great Angelus down. Bloody hell, he'd done it with a _whimper_ , for pity's sake. Spike grinned and thought: _That's the coolest damn thing I've ever seen!_


	29. Chapter 27  Insane Rambling

Angel broke the kiss off, aware of Spike's continued presence. Lindsey moaned at the loss, and tried to recapture the kiss. Angel grinned at his efforts and the random thought again flashed through his mind-Lindsey had a bit of the exhibitionist in him. 

 

In fact, Spike's presence didn't seem to faze Lindsey at all, he seemed to have accepted Spike as effortlessly as he had Drusilla. Whatever questions Angel had about Lindsey's attraction for their bloodline had pretty much been dispelled when he'd boldly defended Spike to him twice today. That was fine with Angel, as long as the attraction for Spike remained relatively platonic.

 

Lindsey softly growled at Angel's refusal to resume the kiss. Spike chuckled behind him, and the young man swiftly turned to say something, but noticed the bleeding puncture wounds on the vampire's neck. "Shit, Spike, are you okay?" He asked.

 

"It's nothing, pet. I've had worse," Spike answered.

 

Lindsey reached out and touched the bite. "Doesn't look like nothin' to me," he muttered.

 

Angel half-expected what happened next, from the expression that came over Lindsey's face. He found it quite amusing in light of the explosive 'Lindsey fit' his lover had just had. Vampire attraction went both ways, and after all, he'd already been exposed to Lindsey acting on his instincts. But Spike _hadn't_ , and the younger vampire was stunned when Lindsey bent his head to lick at Spike's wounds.

 

It took all of thirty seconds for Angel to become upset at the erotic sight of Lindsey, however unconsciously, macking on Spike, tasting his blood the way he had Angel's. He couldn't stand it and he gently touched Lindsey's back, growling softly into his ear, "Lindsey, get your tongue the hell off Spike."

 

The sound of Angel's voice cut through the haze in Lindsey's brain, caught him mid-lick and when he realized what he was doing, he freaked out. He let go of Spike, backed up so fast, he nearly knocked Angel off his feet, and he uttered an resounding, " _Ewwwww!_ "

 

Spike got an indignant look on his face and Lindsey's voice was thick with his accent as he nearly screamed, "Fuck, I can't fuckin' believe I just fuckin' did that! I just chewed your ass out for doin' it and then _I go and do it, too?!?_ Christ on a fuckin' crutch!"

 

And that was more than Angel could take. He cracked up laughing, so hard he started crying. He just couldn't help it, the look of utter disgust on Lindsey's face was just too funny, in light of all the blood play the two of them had engaged in.

 

Lindsey glared at him. "It ain't that fuckin' funny, Angel."

 

"Yeah, it is," Angel choked out.

 

Lindsey turned to look at Spike for help convincing Angel it wasn't funny, but the other vampire had slid to the floor, laughing silently, tears streaming down his face.

 

"Arrg!" Lindsey yelled. "You two are jackasses! I'm goin' to my truck to get some things....brush my fuckin' teeth a hundred times....find a fuckin' anti-vampire attraction spell-" Then he stormed out of the office, muttering to himself.

 

In the wake of his leave-taking, they heard Harmony squeal, "Oooh, you are a wet dream!"

 

To which Lindsey growled, "If you sniff on me, I'll stake you! God, is the whole fucking building full of vamps?"

 

Followed by Harmony saying to herself, "Mmm, nice butt."

 

Angel and Spike howled with laughter.

 

 

*********************

 

 

Charles Gunn walked into his office more than ready to call it a day, and it was only mid-afternoon. Normally he was good for a few more hours, but today he found himself constantly replaying the scene in Wesley's office earlier, and it was wearing him out. Angel had claimed Lindsey and in a permanent way. It looked as if Lindsey was here to stay. Big question now was: Where did that leave him? 

 

Pondering that question and heading straight for his desk, he didn't even notice the young woman waiting for him until he almost set his briefcase in her lap.

 

"Eve. What are you doing here?" Gunn asked, slightly irritated."And how long you been in my office?"

 

"Not very. Just sat down, actually. I just stopped by to see how things are going. You doing okay with your brain-boost?" Eve asked.

 

"Cut the crap, Eve. What do you want?" Gunn asked, leaning back against his desk.

 

"Okay, fine." Eve responded, leaning forward in the chair, "I came to see what you think of Lindsey's return? Think the Senior Partners can count on him? Can trust him?"

 

"Couldn't tell you. Angel says Lindsey came back here to be with him and wants nothing to do with the firm...and that seems to be true so far. He hasn't been at any meetings or so much as drank the coffee, so I ain't too worried. Besides, I thought the Senior Partners already said that they want him gone."

 

Eve smiled inwardly at the feel of the file pressed up against her spine. "Sure you're not worried, Charles? Lindsey was the firm's golden boy back in his time. They had great plans for him until Angel came along. And even then, they always seemed to overlook his indiscretions. If it came down to him without a boost or you with a boost, my money would be on him."

 

"Then that would be a waste, wouldn't it?" Gunn got up and turned to walk around his desk to his chair. He didn't want Eve to see how much her words had pissed him off. "Because like I just said, Lindsey doesn't want anything to do with this place, except to be with Angel." Gunn schooled his features and turned to sit in his chair.

 

"Yeah. _To be with Angel_." Eve paused, willing her anger over those words away. She wanted to know Gunn's real take on the whole Angel/Lindsey thing, she just wasn't sure how to go about getting the information without tipping her hand. "What do you make of that? Personally, I think it's rather odd, don't you? I mean, Lindsey spent most of his time here at Wolfram  & Hart trying like hell to kill Angel, against the wishes of the Senior Partners, I might add. And now they're lovers, bound for eternity." 

 

Gunn didn't even what to go there, not with questions of his own to work through. "Eve, I have work to do, so could you please state your business and get the hell out?"

 

"Look, Charles. I know that you're not happy with this new turn of events. With Angel and Lindsey growing closer every day, hell every hour, then it's only a matter of time before Angel starts pulling Lindsey back in by taking his advice on cases that _you_ should be handling. Your job is about to be on the line and I'm betting that doesn't set too well with you, especially when it's _Lindsey_ taking your place."

 

Eve knew she had his attention now and scooted up closer to the desk. "Guess what? The Senior Partners aren't happy but right now, their hands are tied. Thanks to Angel and Lindsey's actions last night, Lindsey's safe...from _them_ anyway. But if something were to say...happen _away_ from here, then...well, too bad for him, right?"

 

 

Gunn looked at Eve, exasperation written all over his face. "Eve, doll, you forgot something. If Lindsey gets killed, then doesn't Angel die, too?"

 

 

"And that's bad... _why_? We still have Spike." Eve stood up and turned to leave. Stopping just inside the doorway, she turned back to look at the lawyer. "All I'm saying is that you've just become expendable. What do you plan to do about it?"

 

 

Turning on her heel, Eve left Gunn with the same question that he'd been asking himself for the better part of the day. She had a smile on her face, because none of them had any idea that Lindsey had once been told he was expendable himself, by Nathan Reed, who delivered the news to the young lawyer in a such a cold manner that it left no doubt in Lindsey's mind it was true. 

 

She now believed Charles Gunn was going to be easier to manipulate than Lindsey McDonald had turned out to be.

 

 

****************************

 

 

The two vampires had laughed for a few more minutes, then Angel wiped the tears from his eyes, stood up and made his way over to the window. Spike, having finally managed to pull himself back together, looked over at Angel, smiling softly to himself.

 

"Do you see him?" Spike asked as he picked himself up off the floor and walked over to stand beside the other man.

 

"No. But I feel him, so he's can't be too far away." Angel answered, eyes still searching.

 

"Yeah, I miss that. That feeling you get in your gut when you're close to your mate. It was warm, comforting..." Spike trailed off seemingly lost in his own thoughts.

 

Angel, feeling Lindsey and knowing that he was okay, turned to look at his grandchilde. "I didn't know it would feel this way, Spike. Why didn't you warn me?"

 

"Tried to three months ago, Peaches. You weren't interested in listening," Spike said.

 

"Being without Dru...what does it feel like for you now?" He asked softly.

 

Spike shrugged, "Not too bad, if you don't mind living with the feeling of nothingness laying heavily against your heart. Always feels like a part of me is missing and it's all I can do to keep myself from going crazy and roaming the world over to find it again." He sighed, "You just feel lost, mate."

 

"Do you know where Dru is?" Angel asked.

 

"Yeah, but she didn't want me when I was chipped, doubt very seriously that she'd want me with a soul. Especially since I signed up for it, no gypsy curse to blame it on." Spike shrugged, shaking off the melancholy thoughts that were threatening to plague him. "Better off leaving her and her insane ramblings to someone else."

 

Spike stepped closer to the window and looked down at the people rushing to get home. "Still feel him?" Spike asked.

 

"Yeah. He feels like he's maybe three blocks away." Angel said as he turned and headed back to his desk. "He doesn't want to live here."

 

"Well, yeah. Can't say as I blame him. The Big Uglies upstairs don't want him here. How's a bloke to feel comfortable knowing that he's an unwelcome guest?" Spike replied. It never ceased to amaze him how dense Angel could be sometimes.

 

"He knows that I would never let them hurt him. And after last night, I don't think they would even try. Hell, he's probably safer being here _now_ than he was when he worked here," Angel said rubbing his hands over his face.

 

"Is that why you did it? To keep him safe, to protect him?" Spike asked, as he walked over and stood in front of the desk.

 

"Did what? Claim him? Mark him as my mate? Hell, no. I knew that was going to happen back in oklahoma."

 

"So... _you_ marked him as your mate, not Angelus?" Spike looked down at the floor for a second, letting that little confession sink in, then looked back up at his Grandsire.

 

Angel had a wicked little grin on his face. "Depends on _which_ bite mark you're asking about, Spikey."

 

"Bloody hell, Angel! How long has this been going on? And is Lindsey aware of it?" Spike exclaimed, surprise and shock both in his face.

 

"Now, Spike, you of all people know how close the demon lives under the surface. Why would you even ask that?" Angel replied.

 

"Because I remembered what it was Drusilla told me in Sunnydale, mate. She only said Lindsey's name one time. After that, she said her brother had found her, brought her to the city of angels, and even let her stay with him, before the night Darla was turned. You know how confusing she can sound, Angel. I'd assumed she was talking about a vampire she knew," Spike said.

 

"Well, that would explain Lindsey's statement that Dru didn't smell him up," Angel said, smiling over the way Lindsey worded things.

 

"Angel, that's not all Dru said," Spike earnestly said.

 

The older vampire grinned. "What else did she say? That Lindsey and I hated each other?"

 

"Didn't you, mate? I mean, Lindsey did try to kill you and all," Spike replied, sardonically.

 

"Yeah, well, but that was quite awhile ago, so what she said back then can't mean anything. I mean, really, Spike, you said it yourself. She's insane."

 

"Insane she may be, but even Angelus knows better than to ignore her ramblings, pet...regardless of when they were rambled," Spike replied. "And I hate to break it to you, but Dru also said that her brother was in love with Darla, but that his heart forever belonged to his Sire. And we both know that can only mean one thing."

 

"No," Angel exclaimed. "Drusilla is crazy, you know that. It's not true. I wouldn't do that, not to Lindsey. He doesn't want that, Spike."

 

"What he wants and what she said is going to be are two different things, Angel." Spike stated. "Isn't it better to know now?"

 

"I like Lindsey the way he is, Spike," Angel replied. "I won't turn him." 

 

"What I'm thinking is, what if it's not you who does it? If Angelus has been coming out to play with Lindsey all this time, the boy wouldn't know the difference unless the bastard wanted him to. And judging by what just happened between the two of them, I'd bloody well say Angelus loves him, too. I've gotta say, Angel, that's one scary fucking thought," Spike said.


	30. Chapter 28  Ramifications

Lindsey stepped out of the building into the late afternoon sunlight. He could smell night coming, a hot, sultry scent. A little sleazy, a little wild, a little decadent. Reminding him of unfulfilled desires and dreams that were dead. Los Angeles personified. He wondered if that scent had always been there, and he had just been too busy to notice it, or if it was some sort of odd side effect of sharing blood with a vampire. 

 

As it was, he could feel Angel now, where in proximity the vampire was in relation to where he himself was. He half expected Angel to appear beside him any minute now, but shook his head as he caught sight of his shadow on the sidewalk in front of him.

 

He took off walking to his truck, which was parked about three blocks away. Lindsey had walked about halfway, his thoughts on what had just happened in Angel's office, not really noticing what was going on around him, when he began to feel something different. The farther he walked, the more intense the feeling became. It took him a few minutes to suss out what was causing it, a few minutes more of denial, and it wasn't until he reached his truck that he accepted that what he had read in his month-long research was the undeniable truth.

 

Lindsey leaned against the cab of his truck, just let the feeling wash over him, let himself experience it fully, let the truth sink in as deep as it would go. He had known this was possible, but hadn't believed it would overcome him this damn quickly. 

 

He felt bereft, as if something infinitely precious had been ripped away from him. The cause was unequivocal, very traumatic, and totally demoralized him. Lindsey felt like his internal connection to Angel had been cut off. 

 

He was adrift in a sea of despair and he had only walked three blocks away from where Angel was. He wanted to just sit down and weep for the loss, and he had only one thought in his mind: My God, what would it feel like if Angel died?

 

 

*****************************************

 

 

Spike watched as a myriad of emotions played out on Angel's face, the dominant emotion being fear. Spike pulled back and let that register before pushing on. "Angel, you still have control of your demon, right? You can stop him?"

 

"It's not control I'm worried about, Spike, it's will power. The thought of being able to keep Lindsey by my side for eternity is strong and it's always in my mind," Angel paused, a funny feeling like butterflies in his stomach overcoming him. He tried to shake it off. "But if I do that, Lindsey would lose his humanity, Spike. And he doesn't want that. Neither do I."

 

"You're not answering my question, Angel. What about Angelus?" Spike said. "I was there in SunnyD, Peaches. I remember every fucking detail, from him screwing Drusilla to having a raging hard on to hurt the slayer as bad as he could. He was nearly as insane as Dru herself-and why would you let him out to hurt Lindsey, Angel?"

 

A sense of desolation stirred through him, and Angel said, "The thing with Angelus is kind of complicated, Spike. Not long after I met Lindsey-something brought us together, Angelus and I. And through the whole Darla debacle-it was like Angelus was by my side, _on_ my side. When I was sure I hated Lindsey after Darla's death, he didn't. I think he saw more clearly than I did what motivated Lindsey's actions at that time, and not only saw but understood."

 

Spike snorted. "I know you're not planning on telling me _Angelus_ had some kind of whacked out epiphany, Angel. Cause I ain't buying that load of horseshit."

 

Angel looked at Spike. "You did. Why would you think he couldn't?"

 

"Because I was more human than he ever was," Spike said. "And I didn't have a soul shoved up my ass like you did. I fought to earn mine, something I can assure you, that bastard would never do, not in a million years."

 

Angel thought about that, but couldn't decide if Spike was right or wrong. All he knew was, Angelus had killed the Beast, for very obscure reasons. And Angelus hated Wolfram and Hart, something only he was aware of. But before he could say anything, he was swamped with emotions he knew weren't his. He could feel Lindsey's despair as if were his own. He quietly said, "Spike, could you feel Dru's emotions?"

 

"No, I couldn't," Spike stated. "Maybe if I had, I'd have understood her better. Or went completely crackers myself. Why?"

 

"I'm feeling Lindsey's and he feels so _lost_ all of a sudden," Angel replied. He scrunched his forehead until wrinkles appeared, while he just let himself feel it, shuddering as the loneliness coming from Lindsey washed over him.

 

"Must be a side-effect of binding yourself to a human, when you have a soul," Spike mused. "He must have lost his connection to you. He doesn't have the heightened senses that we do, so he won't have to go too far to lost that feeling."

 

"What would it feel like for Lindsey, if I died?" Angel asked.

 

"Well, from the things I've heard, Lindsey would become extremely suicidal, not wanting to live if you were gone," Spike answered. Thinking about Dru, who was clearly still alive, he added in a slightly bitter tone, "If he's still in love with you, that is. This is why I told you not to do it, Peaches


	31. Chapter 29  Fire And Ice

  
Author's notes: We'd like to thank deannaz, crazyevildru & evilwillow. You guys inspire us to new heights with every sentence you write, even if it's not Angel/Lindsey. And a special welcome to elynross, to the world of Angel/Lindsey, with her fic "Through A Glass Darkly". It's everything about L/A we ourselves love.  


* * *

Angel was in hell. He'd said it. Out loud. Knowing the potential badness that could come from it, he'd said it anyway. He'd told Lindsey that he loved him and that scared the shit out of him. But that fear was rapidly being replaced with want and need as Lindsey tackled him to the bed and began kissing him like a man possessed.

 

 

_Possessed_ \- that about summed up the feeling humming through Lindsey's body at the moment, and he was going to act on it. He wanted to devour the man underneath him, and that wonderful mouth looked like a good place to start.

 

Capturing Angel's mouth in a searing kiss, Lindsey tasted, licked, nipped and invaded his lover’s mouth as if the meaning of life were between those lips. Hips rocking down against the body trapped under his and only reluctantly pulling away from Angel's mouth with a groan when those large hands molded themselves to his ass and pressed down. 

 

"You didn't have to say it, you know," Lindsey softly said, pulling back, so that he could gaze into Angel's eyes. The want, the need, and the love he saw radiated there urged him on. "I never expected you to. You show me, in the way you touch me...kiss me...love me." 

 

Sliding up Angel's body until denim clad hardness rested comfortably against wool covered hardness, Lindsey began unbuttoning Angel's shirt, placing wet kisses on each patch of skin revealed. "Although...it was...extremely nice...to hear."

 

Another kiss, a little bite this time and Angel's chest was his for the taking, touching, licking and whatever else he could torture the man with. Smiling at that thought, Lindsey looked up at Angel, noticed the small worry in his eyes. Knowing the vampire was thinking about that damn gypsy curse, Lindsey decided to distract Angel's thoughts. He slid back further, tongue flicking out to lick around Angel's navel, then he pressed his face against Ange's stomach and blew the biggest raspberry he could into the indention. 

 

Angel snickered. Encouraged, Lindsey did it again. Angel laughed. 

 

Smiling against the skin under his mouth, Lindsey nuzzled his face into the skin there and did it again. This time, Angel giggled. Eyebrows shooting up in surprise, Lindsey raised his head to look because it was so strange hearing that. 

 

Angel was smiling down at him. His eyes were fiiled with warmth and...almost sparkling. Lindsey smiled back, then moved back up until he was face to face with Angel. He whispered, "Liked that, did you?"

 

Angel said, "Yes, I did but...I thought you wanted me to make love to _you_ , Lindsey."

 

"Yeah, I do," Lindsey replied. He touched his lips to Angel’s in a soft caress, then moved to whisper in the vampire’s ear, "Thought about it for three months, Angel. Everything that happened between us back in Oklahoma. Your hands on my body, the way I looked in that mirror, I haven’t forgotten anything and when I touched myself, it was your name on my lips when I came."

 

Angel wrapped his arms around Lindsey and pulled him tight, burying his face against the young man's neck and breathing in his scent. He could feel his own body responding to his lover's scent, the pores of his skin opening up to absorb the young man's heat. Angel vowed right then to prove that Drusilla's ramblings were just that-the ramblings of a mad mind.

 

Returning his thoughts to the man in his arms, Angel ran his tongue over Lindsey's neck until he reached _his_ scar. "Mine," Angel growled out before sinking his still blunt teeth into soft flesh, savoring the taste as his lover's blood filled his mouth.

 

"Angel!" Lindsey hissed, arching up into the bite and a swift, unexpected orgasm washed over him. Angel’s arms held him tightly as he rocked against the vampire until the spasms subsided. He felt Angel run his tongue over the bite, cleaning and closing the wound, before gently pulling his head back far enough to capture those warm lips with his own. 

 

Angel caught Lindsey’s sigh and smiled inwardly as he felt his lover begin to suck on his tongue. He could feel Lindsey’s cock starting to stir again and was amazed at the young man’s response to him. _Shit. Why did we waste so much time fighting each other? Fighting against this?_ He moaned, thoughts lost, when Lindsey broke the kiss to take a much needed breath.

 

“Fuck, Angel,” Lindsey panted, “That was...intense, although I would’ve rather been naked, you know.” He smiled and rested his forehead against Angel’s. “Now I’m gonna have to waste time doing laundry, instead of fucking you through the floor.”

 

Angel smiled back. “Nah. That’s one of the few perks of having Harmony around. She can take care of it. And hey, why the floor? There’s a perfectly good bed right here.”

 

Lindsey grinned mischievously before lowering his face to place a light kiss just under Angel's ear, then he whispered, “I was thinking that since _I’m_ the guest...” 

 

Lindsey paused to lightly lick the inside of Angel’s ear before continuing, “And since you love me sooo much,” taking the lobe in his mouth and gently sucking on it, “You could do the right thing...” licking his way across Angel’s jaw to hovering above his mouth, “And fuck _me_ through the mattress...NOW!” Lindsey took Angel’s mouth in his own and thrust his tongue roughly inside. 

 

Angel growled and flipped them over so that he was atop Lindsey. Breaking the kiss long enough to pull his own shirt off, so he could feel more of his lover’s heat, Angel dove back in the young man’s mouth until he felt Lindsey squirming beneath him struggling to breathe. Releasing his lover’s mouth, Angel began working his way down Lindsey’s body, wanting to devote attention to every inch of exposed skin.

 

He enjoyed the salty taste of sweat on Lindsey’s neck, as he licked his way down to the hard flesh of his upper body. He began to lave Lindsey’s nipples, teasing one then the other, reveling in the feel of Lindsey’s hands touching him, caressing him, burning him in response. Angel wanted to be closer, feel that heat permeate his whole being, and he growled in frustration when he realized they were both still partially clothed.

 

Lindsey watched as Angel tasted his way down his body, then groaned in shared frustration when Angel pulled away. Feeling Angel tug at his jeans, Lindsey raised his hips to help his lover remove the offending garment. He stared as Angel buried his nose in the wet spot and inhaled deeply. _Must be a vampire thing. Never seen anyone do that before. Well....shit._

 

“Damn, I love the way you smell, Lin.” Throwing the jeans to the floor, Angel shed his own clothing, then returned to the spot between Lindsey’s legs. “The only thing better than the way you smell....is the way you taste.” 

 

Not giving Lindsey a chance to respond, Angel leaned over and swallowed Lindsey’s cock all the way to the root, until his nose was buried in curls. Inhaling deeply, enjoying the combined essence of arousal, spent seed, and the bite mark residing there, Angel mentally smiled at the ragged moan that came from the man under him.

 

Slowly licking his way back up Lindsey’s length to the tip, he could hear Lindsey’s gasp as the young man gently thrust upwards trying to bury himself back in Angel’s wet mouth. “Later Lindsey, I promise. But right now, I want to taste all of you.” 

 

Reaching up past Lindsey, he grabbed a pillow and slipped it underneath his hips, raising him up slightly. Angel smiled as he watched Lindsey’s eyes darken in understanding of what was to come. “You told me in Oklahoma I could do anything I wanted. That still true?”

 

Glaring briefly in annoyance at the _dare_ in that question and the look of total innocence on Angel’s face, Lindsey replied, “Yeah. I just didn’t think...I mean. Well, fuck...” Angel grinned as he spread Lindsey’s legs further, bending them at the knees. “Oh, God,” Lindsey whispered. 

 

Angel sat back and stared at the man laid out before him. Naked and vulnerable, Lindsey was a site to behold and Angel ached to bury himself inside his young lover and just absorb the unconditional love he felt coming from him.

 

“Angel? Something wrong?” Lindsey’s voice broke through Angel’s thoughts. He was becoming a little self-conscious under Angel’s gaze. “What is it?” Lindsey tried to sit up, but Angel quickly placed his hands on his chest and held him down.

 

“Shh. Nothing’s wrong. It’s finally right,” Angel softly said, before placing open-mouthed kisses on the inside of Lindsey’s thighs and slowly working his way up. Using his tongue and slowly circling Lindsey’s balls, taking first one and then the other completely into his mouth, sucking gently at the soft tender flesh, Angel watched Lindsey through lids half-shuttered, listening intently as Lindsey’s hold on sanity began losing it’s grip. 

 

Lindsey had closed his eyes, his teeth were worrying his lower lip, he was softly moaning, but most important of all, he was trying to relax into it. Angel could tell Lindsey wasn’t really repulsed, he was just...a little wary. 

 

Moving lower still, Angel began licking his way down until he reached the sensitive indent and Angel began with long slow licks, tasting, teasing with the tip of his tongue until he felt Lindsey relaxing, heard him sigh and quietly moan. 

 

Angel was humbled at the total submission that Lindsey was showing and the complete trust that he had in him. But wanting to snap that last bit of control Lindsey was showing, Angel began gently thrusting his tongue forward, slowly seeking entrance into his lover’s body.

 

Lindsey's skin felt all flushy and he knew he was blushing, but damn, it felt good. The gentleness in Angel’s touch was overwhelming, so too was the kinkiness in what that tongue was doing. Rolling waves of _naughty, naughty, naughty_ were taking him under and Lindsey had never been one to resist that lure. He was too much the sensualist. Lindsey whispered, “Angel,” and he wanted to say more, but he felt as if his heart was in his throat and he just couldn’t. So he slid his fingers into Angel’s hair, petting him, gently urging him on.

 

Feeling Lindsey’s hand on his head encouraged Angel and he began pressing deeper with each thrust of his tongue. The moans got louder, Lindsey’s hand on his hair tightened, and bit by bit, his body completely opened up for Angel. Until finally, he was able to slide fully into his lover and Angel began thrusting his tongue back and forth in a sensuous, seductive rhythm. 

 

Lindsey began making a keening noise, bucking his body up into it and Angel loved it. He gently pressed in further and With each thrust in, Angel reached for that bundle of nerves, softly brushing over it with the tip of his tongue. As Lindsey’s hands tightened in his hair, Angel felt the young man’s muscles tighten as he tried to pull more of Angel into him.

 

Lindsey wasn’t aware of the sounds he was making. All he knew was...what Angel was doing inside of him, he was feeling it in his whole body. It made him feel as if he had fire in his veins, as if Angel was burning him, branding him, taking him from the inside out. It was the most exquisite sensation he’d ever felt. But then, Angel pulled out and, “Don’t stop, please, please, please. Don’t stop,” he moaned.

 

Hearing Lindsey’s distressed moans when he pulled out of him, Angel quickly moistened two fingers in his mouth before sliding his tongue back into that fiery heat, slowly slipping both of them inside of Lindsey's body. Wrapping his other hand around Lindsey’s cock, Angel rubbed his thumb across the weeping head, trying to gather as much pre-come as he could to act as a lubricant. Mentally kicking himself for forgetting the lube, he began to slowly stroke Lindsey with one hand, while thrusting his tongue and fingers in and out of his lover’s passage.

 

“More, Angel. I want more. Please...” Lindsey moaned, damn near incoherent as he arched up into Angel’s hand.

 

Angel pulled his tongue out of Lindsey long enough to add another finger. Slipping it easily into the saliva slicked channel, he looked up and whispered, “Just let go, Lindsey. Let go and come for me.” Then spreading apart his fingers, Angel thrust his tongue back in, pushing deep inside to press against the young man’s prostate. 

 

Lindsey screamed, arching his body up, but Angel had been expecting that. Applying constant pressure with his tongue, thrusting his fingers in and out, and jerking roughly on Lindsey’s cock, Angel felt Lindsey let go.....just before hearing the young man’s scream as he fell over the edge, coming in long ropey spurts in Angel’s hand.

 

Gently removing his fingers and tongue, Angel slowly licked his way up Lindsey’s body, thoroughly cleaning every inch of come-covered Lindsey skin he could find. By the time he reached his lover’s mouth, Lindsey was back in control and dove into Angel’s mouth, eagerly wanting to taste himself on the vampire. 

 

Bringing his hands up and cupping Angel’s head, Lindsey took one last taste of Angel’s mouth and pulled the vampire back, effectively breaking the kiss. Looking up into Angel’s eyes, Lindsey said, “Holy fuck, Angel. That was amazing. Feel free to make love to me any time, any place.”

 

Angel smiled and rolled off of him to lay back on the bed, but pulled Lindsey with him until the young man was draped over him. Craving Lindsey's heat, loving the fact that wherever his lover was touching him, it made Angel feel like his skin on fire. He wrapped his arms tightly around Lindsey, trying to pull him closer, needing him to be closer, wanting to just crawl inside his lover until he felt warm and safe. "I love you, Lindsey," he whispered, a cheek rubbing against the damp strands of Lindsey's hair.

 

“I love you too, Angel. But now it's my turn to rock your world." Lindsey said, easing himself off the vampire, "I'll be right back. DON'T go anywhere." 

 

He knew that Angel had to be hurting by now. He had come three times already and Angel hadn't come once. _Talk about self-control. Don’t think I could’ve held out. But that should make this that much sweeter._ Disappearing into the other room, Lindsey walked over to his bag and opened it up. After removing a few items and placing them on top, Lindsey carried his bag into the bedroom.

 

Pausing in the doorway of the room, Lindsey stopped and let his eyes soak up the sight laid out on the bed. Slowly letting his gaze wander up Angel's body, Lindsey found himself growing impatient with the need to touch his lover, wanting to feel the silkiness of skin sliding against skin. When his eyes fell upon Angel's face, he noticed that the his eyes were closed as if he were asleep, or in deep meditation. "So that's how you do it, huh? You meditate to stay in control...you just go off to your happy place."

 

Angel smiled slightly, not even pretending to misunderstand Lindsey. All he wanted to do was bury himself inside his lover's body and Lindsey was too far away. "Can't go to my happy place, Lin, cause you're always there. Couldn't stay focused, much less hard...and speaking of hard, I am and it hurts, so why don't you come over here and put that mouth to better use?"

 

"How can I resist such pretty words?" Lindsey walked over and dropped his bag beside the bed before sliding down next to the other man. Lightly draping himself over his lover, Lindsey gently took Angel's cock into his hand and began stroking it lightly with just the pads of his fingers. Hearing Angel moan, Lindsey wondered how painful it was.

 

Slipping a little further down Angel's body, Lindsey began placing light kisses across the weeping head, darting his tongue into the slit to taste the wetness collecting there. Slowly moving over his lover, Lindsey grabbed the items off his bag as he slid down until he was nestled between Angel's legs. Placing his booty under the pillow beside him for later use, Lindsey took Angel's heavy cock in his hand.

 

Angel moaned when he felt Lindsey's tongue begin tracing intricate patterns on the underside of his cock. Burying his hands in the bedcovers, Angel restrained himself from bucking his hips up to reach for more contact, wanting more of that elusive heat. Looking down to watch Lindsey move against him, Angel found his gaze locking with that of his lover, captured by the mischievous twinkle shining back at him. "Lindsey," he hissed. "Fuck. Stop teasing."

 

Lindsey grinned. He loved the fact that he could make Angel lose control with just a touch. Just a whisper of his heat and Angel was his for the taking. Never breaking eye contact, Lindsey slowly slid Angel's length into his mouth.

 

“Oh shit, Lin. That feels so good. Your mouth, your heat...feels fucking incredible,” Angel managed to say, releasing his grip on the sheets to tangle his hands in Lindsey’s hair and gently begin to guide his lover’s movements.

 

Slowly Lindsey began moving his mouth up and down, swallowing Angel in as far as he could, then sliding him back out, circling the tip with his tongue, sucking lightly before repeating the motion. Using the other hand, Lindsey took Angel’s balls and squeezed them, gently kneading the tender flesh. 

 

When he heard the soft growling begin and felt the hands wrapped in his hair tighten their grip, Lindsey took one last lick up Angel’s length, gave the head one last good suck, then released it with an audible _pop_.

 

 

“No, Lindsey, don’t stop. So close...please.” Angel tugged on Lindsey’s hair, trying to get the young man’s mouth back on his cock. He wanted nothing more than to come, buried in his lover’s heat.

 

 

“Shh Angel, easy, just give me a sec.” Lindsey let go of Angel’s balls and slid his hand over to the pillow and grabbed the little jar hidden there. Placing it in front of him, he went back for the pillow. “Okay, lift up a little. Your turn for the pillow.” After placing the pillow underneath Angel’s hips, Lindsey opened the jar and dipped two fingers into the ointment.

 

Angel smelled the sharp scent of menthol and eucalyptus at the same time he felt Lindsey slide two lube-slicked fingers into him, and begin moving them in small circles. Angel gasped at the sudden intrusion. “Damn Lindsey, you could have warned me before...Oh shit, Lin, what the fuck is that?” Angel asked as he felt a slight burning sensation.

 

“Just a little something to warm you up,” Lindsey said, and his voice was deeper, all honey and sugar. Angel shivered at the erotic sound of it. 

 

Lindsey smiled as he lightly grazed over Angel’s prostate with the tip of a fingernail. Yeah, he really liked this. Angel shivering at the things he was doing? At the sound of his voice? Priceless. Lindsey felt himself getting hard again, and couldn’t quite believe it. “Do you like it? Do you want more?” Lindsey asked as he slowly began pulling his fingers out.

 

Angel whimpering and the feeling of the vampire’s inner muscles gripping his fingers was the only answer Lindsey got. “I’ll take that as a yes,” Lindsey said with a smile, as he added another finger. Sliding his fingers smoothly in and out of his lover, fingertip occasionally scraping over that sensitive bundle of nerves, Lindsey began licking his way up Angel’s body. Placing a long, flat lick up Angel’s cock, to the now constantly weeping head, Lindsey sucked Angel in, until his nose was buried in curls.

 

Angel’s body suddenly seemed to be totally at odds with itself, his hands tugging at Lindsey’s hair to pull him off, while his hips arched up to try and bury more of his body in all that luscious heat. Head reeling, body inflamed with raw hunger now, Angel hoarsely said, “Lindsey...Oh, fuck....Lin, stop, I can’t. Shit, I need you, want you inside me, need you to fuck me...please!”

 

Lindsey was damn glad his mouth was occupied, because his first thought was _Yeah, I think I’ve said damn near the same thing several times and you haven’t fucked me yet._ But...Angel sounded desperate. Maybe he shouldn’t have teased him so long. 

 

He slowly, gently sucked back up one more time, then responded, “Aww. Again with the pretty words. Be careful or you might just spoil me.” Then, with another slide up Angel’s length with his tongue and a quick press of his fingers, Lindsey sat up, and lightly slapped Angel’s thigh. “Turn over for me, Angel,” he softly growled.

 

Angel turned over onto his stomach, and repositioned the pillow so he wasn’t pressing down on his aching cock. He was hurting in ways he hadn’t felt in a very long time. He hated sounding so needy, but fuck! Maybe he should have just made love to Lindsey, given him what he’d wanted, instead of..... _oh, hell no_. The sound and the feel of Lindsey’s pleasure had been too nice. 

 

But one Southern boy was going to shortly learn not to tease one certain vampire until he was almost ready to explode. _Oh, yes. He was._

 

Lindsey began stroking Angel’s back and watched entranced as the muscles rippled underneath his fingertips. _Fuck, he’s beautiful. And to think, I get to have this whenever I want. Finally, something....no, SOMEONE, to call my own._

 

“Dammit, Lindsey! You have about 30 seconds to forego that back rub and fuck me or I am going to flip you over and fuck you...right through the mattress like you asked for earlier,” Angel growled.

 

“Well, so much for the pretty words, huh? Fine then. Get on your knees.” Lindsey took the jar and began coating his cock with the ointment. Then placing a hand on Angel’s hip, Lindsey positioned himself at Angel’s entrance and pushed in with one long hard thrust. 

 

Once fully sheathed inside his lover, Lindsey grabbed Angel’s shoulder and pulled the vampire back, until Angel was practically sitting in his lap. Reaching around with a hand that was still slick, Lindsey took Angel’s cock in his hand, stroked it, once, twice, then tightened his fist around the base.

 

Angel felt the sharp pain of penetration dissolve into pure pleasure, as the tip of Lindsey’s cock pressed up against his prostate and the heat of Lindsey’s body pressed against him back. He could feel his inner muscles relaxing under the numbing heat of the lube and sighed at the added pleasure of it. _Where the hell did Lindsey learn that?_

 

“Wait for me, baby,” Lindsey whispered in Angel’s ear, as he pushed against Angel’s back, guiding him upward as Lindsey pulled back, slowly moving in and out of his lover. Placing wet, open-mouthed kisses against Angel’s back, Lindsey began moving his hand up Angel’s cock, thumb digging in the slit to wipe away the moisture gathering there.

 

Angel hissed at the icy cold feeling of air against his menthol covered cock, sliding up and down in Lindsey’s hand...which was enhanced by the feeling of Lindsey’s intense heat inside of him as the young man pumped within his body. 

 

The assault on his senses had him scrambling for control. Angel could feel Angelus breaking through his defenses and getting closer and closer to the surface. He could feel it happening, knew he couldn’t stop it and he didn’t believe Angelus would hurt Lindsey. Well, not too much, at any rate. At least he wasn’t worried about losing his soul, this time. Damn good thing, too. _Because this was bliss._

 

Lindsey felt Angel’s erratic movements and sensed what was taking place in his lover’s mind. _Shit! He won’t let himself go, worrying about that stupid curse. Well, fuck that!_ Burying a hand in Angel’s thick hair, Lindsey roughly pulled his lover’s head back, until his lips were next to the vampire’s ear. 

 

“Let go, Angel,” he softly said, in that silky tone Angel seemed to like so much. He could feel Angel’s reaction to it, even as his body and mind were warring for control. “It’s okay. I’ll be here for you.”

 

Dragging his tongue down Angel’s neck, Lindsey began sucking, gently at first, increasing the pressure as he responded to Angel’s moans of approval. Angel’s cock was hot and throbbing, so close, and it slid in Lindsey’s hand with each thrust he made into Angel's body. 

 

Wanting to tilt Angel into release, Lindsey tightened his fist in Angel’s hair, until he heard the ragged growl, both in warning and approval. Smiling against Angel’s neck, Lindsey whispered quietly, knowing Angel will hear, “Time to play, baby,” Then he thrust into Angel, fast, hard, hitting his prostate, as he sank his teeth into his lover’s neck, breaking the skin, drinking down the blood that welled out of the wound, not holding back at all.

 

Angel roared as he felt the orgasm rip through his body. Light exploded behind his eyes, shooting little tendrils of pleasure-pain through his head, before crawling down the rest of his skin. His control had snapped, and the darkness was claiming him, drawing him in.

 

He fought a brief, futile minute to hold on, because he’d meant to tell Lindsey what had been happening with his demon, but he’d gotten distracted. How could he have been so stupid? 

 

Tearing his body away from Lindsey's, Angel fell forward on the bed, grabbing at the sheets, as if they were the lifeline he was looking for. But it was too late. Angelus was free and Angel's last cohesive thought before he succumbed was _please......don’t turn Lindsey._


	32. Chapter 30  Confrontations

  
Author's notes: A note from Menomegirl~I’m dedicating this chapter to one of our readers, whose name is Vicki. She knew I was upset about the way ATS was going to end. To make a long story short, she cheered me up by bringing a copy of my fanfiction *A Defining Moment* to the Chicago con with her. I’d told her not to, but she did it anyway. She asked Christian Kane to sign it for me. I’d told her he wouldn’t sign it. Well, much to my shock, Chris did sign it. Vicki sent me pictures of him signing it, and I should have the fic in my hands in a day or so. I want y’all to know, I worked damn hard on making this chapter as perfect at I could, drove Cindee insane with it. I've sweated every fricking word. I knew some of our readers were dedicated to this little story of ours, but I had no idea one of them would go above and beyond like that because I got so upset. It was also very nice of Chris Kane to sign it for me.  
  
I’m moved beyond words.  
  
Thank you with all my heart, Vicki.  
  
I second her thank you and hope you enjoy this chapter. ~Cin  


* * *

Wesley stared at the vampire standing before him. “Would you mind repeating that?”

 

Spike calmly replied, “Lindsey’s been dealing with both Angel and Angelus all along. That’s why he can’t see a difference between them.”

 

Wesley laughed. “Spike, that’s the most idiotic thing I’ve ever heard you say. That’s like saying black and white are the same.”

 

Spike shook his head, placed hid hands on the former watcher’s desk, and leaned forward. “You’re not getting it, Headboy. I’m telling you what I saw with my own eyes. If I’d been here to see them interact with each other before, I’d have noticed it right off the bat. I know my grandsire. I can _feel_ him, the same way I feel Drusilla, and I’m telling you, Angelus has been toying with Lindsey like a cat with a mouse. Only Lindsey’s not the mouse Angelus believes him to be. He can’t be broken like Drusilla was. He’ll bite back, because he has control over my grandsire, and the fool boy doesn’t even know it.”

 

“So, basically, you’re telling me....Angelus could come out at any given time, and what? Slaughter us all?” Wesley said, thinking about the possibility that what Spike was saying was true.

 

“No, I don’t think so. Not this time,” Spike replied, thinking about that scene in Angel’s office. Angelus taking his blood, Lindsey defending him, and then tasting Spike himself. The vampire shivered with low arousal. “This time, it’s about family. It’s about who....no, not who, _what_ Lindsey is, about his blood, his attraction to vampires. Lindsey McDonald is one of the human race that vampires call the Secular Caste.”

 

Wesley’s forehead wrinkled as he remembered something Lindsey had told him. _Vampires have a thing for me...I have a thing for them...there’s even a term for it, but I can’t remember what it is._ He muttered, “So, Lindsey’s like a vamp magnet, in other words?”

 

Spike grinned. “That’s right, Watcher. Only, for some reason, Lindsey has a real affinity with our little family. It’s almost as if he was born to become one of us. It’s going to happen, nothing we can do to stop it. Our problem has now become how to find a way for Lindsey not to lose his soul when it happens. That’s what Angel wants you to work on now, as fast as you can."

 

“What about Angel’s soul? Is Lindsey a threat to that or not?” Wesley wondered.

 

Spike shook his head no. “Don’t think so, not since they mated. I feel them. So can you, I saw it in your face earlier. They’re bound, in a way Dru and I never were. It’s different, somehow. I believe the curse has been voided by the claiming. And here’s the rub: _Lindsey doesn’t believe in curses_. Using gypsy magic on him would be a wasted effort. You need to find another way.”

 

Wesley thought about everything. Spells, curses, Lilah. And Eve. Wolfram and Hart itself. The resources that were here. Surely there was _something_ on all of this. 

 

He stood up and told Spike, “Come with me. We’re going to research the hall of records.”

 

 

*********************************

 

 

Something was different. He sensed it, but couldn't pinpoint the origin. It was as if someone else was in the room, as if someone else had joined them. Looking quickly around the room and finding nothing, Lindsey looked down at the man laying face down on the bed. Laying his hand on Angel's back, he felt his lover trembling and shaking. Alarmed, Lindsey grabbed Angel's shoulder and pulled him up, trying to turn the vampire over. 

 

“Angel, are you okay?” Lindsey managed to get him turned over, only to have his senses shocked at the smile on his lover's face, at the silky laughter coming from him. At the indefinable difference in the vampire's eyes. He could still _see_ Angel, but now he could glimpse something else in those brown eyes, as well. The beginnings of doubt entered his mind, and "Angel?" he softly asked.

 

"Nope. He's gone, left me in charge," Angelus said, as he slid off the bed and idled up to Lindsey, who was still on his knees. Bending slightly, the vampire sinisterly whispered into Lindsey's ear, "Still want to play, loverboy?"

 

Lindsey’s mind went blank, utterly unable to process what he'd just heard. The only thing in his mind were echoes of Wesley and Spike saying Angelus would kill him, were he set free. And in that brief chaotic moment between knowledge and acceptance, fear blossomed in Lindsey, and he acted without thought. 

 

He was off the bed and almost at the door before Angelus stopped him, rough hands grabbing him, turning him around and slamming Lindsey back against the door. “Uhhh,” Lindsey groaned. And the fear instantly evaporated, because hey, wasn’t _that_ familiar? He looked into the vampire’s face, narrowing his eyes in suspicion, because that had actually felt just a little _too_ familiar.

 

Angelus grinned. “That’s right, lover, you know me. You’ve felt me before. You’ve seen me before. You just didn’t know it. Didn’t believe. And now that Angel’s gotten a happy, and decided to check out for awhile, I thought I’d introduce myself. _Make you believe._ I’m Angelus. Nice to meet you. Now, let’s fuck.” He leaned down to take those lips in a kiss, only to find himself held at bay when Lindsey placed both hands on his chest, stopping him.

 

“Woah! Get the hell _off_ me! You just can’t come at me like that, are you insane?” Lindsey blurted out, shock reverberating through him at the attempt. “What....because Angel loses his soul, you think I’m supposed to put out for you? What the fuck!”

 

"He didn’t lose the damn soul. It’s still here, inside of me, thanks to both of you claiming each other as mates. Your souls are bound, dumbass. Congratulations, you thwarted the curse. Yay you!" Angelus snorted. "Are we through talking now? Cause I’ve only waited like _three fucking years_ to get my hands on that luscious body of yours. Don’t know how long I have. Don’t care to waste what time I do have talking instead of fucking you."

 

Relief flooded his system, Lindsey closed his eyes, and whispered, “ _He didn’t lose his soul_.” But that relief was short-lived as the rest of what Angelus had said registered in Lindsey’s mind. The rapid way the vampire was managing to confuse him was disconcerting, to say the least. He frowned. “What the hell makes you think I’d ever want you?”

 

Angelus grinned and winked. “Oh, you want me, lawyer boy. A part of you always has, that’s why you see me when you look at him, it's why you couldn’t believe. We’re one and the same to you, isn’t that right?” Angelus leaned into Lindsey, pressing forward despite the younger man’s attempts to hold him back. He inhaled deeply, then smiled evilly.

 

“Your heart is beating like a drum, Lin, and your blood is pounding in your veins. It’s not fear that’s causing it, either. It’s called want- _you want me_ -and I can smell it on you, always could. Your reaction to danger is quite interesting, Lindsey.” He paused, waiting for the younger man to challenge what he’d said. When it appeared Lindsey wasn’t going to, Angelus laughed and said, “See? This whole being honest thing is a pain in the ass, when you can’t even lie to yourself any longer.”

 

Lindsey was indeed rendered momentarily speechless. He couldn’t refute what Angelus had said, because it was the truth. He did want him. Not only that, but he was breathing rapidly, and his body had gone haywire on him. Again. _Oh, what a surprise._

 

But he still felt Angel in there. He was there, Lindsey could almost _see_ him, the exact same way he’d sensed Angelus underneath the facade of Angel. _They really were one and the same to him._ He looked into the darkness of those brown eyes he loved, and found that he just couldn’t lie. “God, I’m so fucking twisted,” he muttered.

 

Angelus laughed. “Yeah, you are. I like you that way. Now, c’mon, Lin. I want a taste,” he said, bending his head to kiss the younger man. He was surprised when Lindsey kissed him back, open mouthed, hot, wet kisses that had a hint of desperation to them. 

 

And Lindsey’s hands went around him, pulling Angelus into full body contact, hard hands that kneaded his back, nails digging into him. Angelus moaned. Lindsey whimpered. The vampire raised his head to look at him, and he saw what he’d expected to. Lust. Want. Need. Total confusion. He grinned crookedly, and answered the unasked question in Lindsey’s eyes. “ _Angel good. Angelus bad._ ”

 

“uh huh,” Lindsey said, shakily. “I get that. But shit, it feels the same to me. Angel must have known it would. I should be fighting this, _fighting you_ and fuck, I guess he knew this would happen, or he’d have fought harder to stay in control.” He looked up at the vampire, wishing like hell he could turn away from him. “You know, this is just _not right_. I know it, but I just can’t _not_ want you.”

 

“Whatever you say, Lin. That works for me,” Angelus said. He raised his hand to softly caress the side of the younger man’s face. “Now, then. I’m going to ride you like you wanted Angel to earlier and since you appear to be rather dominating yourself, I feel it’s only fair to tell you, I’m always on top, Lindsey. Your only choice here is in how you want to take it, on your knees or on your back. And I want to hear you say my name when you come.”

 

Lindsey fought a surprisingly brief war between outrage and amusement, then he grinned, and couldn’t resist teasing Angelus. “Heh, I get it. _'I’m a master vampire. Nobody fucks me.'_ You don’t even know what you’re missing. But, hey...whatever. You wanna get it on, I’m game. Who’s on top doesn’t matter to me, as long as I come. I’ll even _try_ to call you by your name, but I wanna make it clear right now, I’m not calling you Master...or Sire...or Daddy, like that nutcase Drusilla. Understand?”

 

Angelus grinned, shaking his head. “We’re almost too much alike, I swear. Maybe that’s why I like you so much. You know, I really respect your dark side, Lindsey. Every time you tried to kill Angel, I liked you a little bit more. Even though you failed miserably, you just kept right on trying, senior partners be damned. You had the souled prick so fucked up, he even let Darla loose on those lawyers. I never would have thought he had it in his soul to let Darla free like that. And you just stood there, smiling when he shut the doors. That took guts, Lindsey. I think that’s the minute I...”

 

Lindsey waited, but when it looked like Angelus wasn’t going to continue, he asked, “The minute you what?”

 

The vampire’s gaze sharpened, and he said, “The minute I decided not to kill you.” Lindsey closed his eyes in relief. He hadn’t truly been that worried, because he’d sensed he wasn’t in that much danger. It was just...nice to hear it out loud. Then Angelus bent down, whispered into his ear, “Don't worry, lover. I'll probably take a taste or two, but I won't kill you. Angel gets that privilege. He marked you. It's his right. And something tells me it's gonna be soon."

 

Thrown off-guard again, Lindsey whispered shakily, “What makes you say that? Why would Angel want to kill me?” 

 

“Not _kill_ , turn. Thought you did the research, Lin,” Angelus teased him. “Not that I know from personal experience, but I’ve seen it happen to others. Blood play between mates can get intense. The need to feed from each other eats at you, makes your skin itch, makes your body burn. You've already felt it, haven't you? You've fed from him, even before you two claimed each other. It's addictive. A habit you can't break. He’ll have to turn you, in order to keep you. Either that, or risk killing you and personally– your permanent death–not an option for me.”

 

Lindsey snorted, unconvinced. “I thought death was your _forte_. Your passion, your art, your goal in life. What makes _me_ so damn special, that you don’t want me to die?” He asked, while inside, his brain said _My God, would you just SHUT THE FUCK UP? Are you TRYING to make him kill you, you stupid shit?_

 

“That’s _my_ business, Lin. Now, I’m done talking.” Angelus leaned over and began purring in Lindsey’s ear. “Come on, it’s my turn to feel that gorgeous ass squeezing my cock, Lindsey.” Placing biting kisses down Lindsey’s neck, making the younger man shiver, the vampire whispered, “I want to feel that heat that you share with Angel.” 

 

As if to emphasize his point, Angelus moved in and molded his body around Lindsey’s. “That need you feel to have _him_ inside. Why should Angel get to have all the fun and besides, I thought you wanted to play.” And with those words, Angelus slid his fangs into Lindsey’s neck.

 

“ANGELUS!” Lindsey screamed, pure unadulterated desire racing through his body, as he arched into the bite. 

 

 

**********************************

 

 

_What the hell?_ Gunn froze at the door to the penthouse. He had come up to talk to Angel about his 'lack' of finding anything on Lindsey’s contract and was just about to knock when he heard the scream through the door. _Was that Lindsey? And did he just say Angelus?_

 

Gunn pressed his ear to the door, listening for more signs of trouble from within. Hearing nothing, he dropped his hand on the door knob and turned, pausing when he found it unlocked. _Okay, man. Wait a sec. Think this through. You got no weapon, not even a pencil. So if Angel did lose his soul and the big ugly is eating Lindsey, what can you possibly do, except provide him with dessert?_

 

Then there was the sound of another pained moan coming from behind the door. _Damn it! I gotta do something!_ Slowly opening the door, he peeked his head into room. Seeing nothing wrong, he silently slid into the penthouse. 

 

Looking around for blood, broken furniture, anything that showed signs of a struggle and finding none, Gunn quietly headed towards the bar to a weapons chest he knew Angel kept there. _Thank you, Angel. Most people would hide weapons in their bedroom–you hide them behind the bar. Must be some good Irish whiskey back there._

 

"I’m not tellin’ you jack. Unnnh...that burns...slow down, Angelus," Gunn froze in shock as Lindsey’s voice floated from the bedroom. _Ok, there’s that name again...only this time it’s...different._ Easing towards the doorway, _Just need to see that Lindsey’s okay, that’s all._

 

"Oh, fuck me," Lindsey’s voice filters out, a little rougher, more gravely than normal, but lacking fear. 

 

"I will Lin, don’t doubt that." Angel’s voice follows, laden with silk, steel and menace.

 

_Shit! That is Angelus and he’s about to kill Lindsey. Fuck!_ Gunn began easing his way down the wall towards the bar when Lindsey screamed again.

 

 

*********************************

 

 

“That’s it, Lindsey. _Scream my name._ Beg for me, lawyer boy,” Angelus said, slowly moving them back across the room, not stopping until he felt the bed against the back of Lindsey’s legs. “So, how do you want it, lover? On your back or on your knees? You got 10 seconds to decide...tick...tock...ten!” 

 

Angelus moved fast and the next thing Lindsey knew, he was face down on the bed and a very horny vampire was positioning his body the way he wanted it. _Well, so much for that fucking choice._ But Lindsey didn’t say that, because he _was_ a little afraid, which was probably a good thing. 

 

After all, he hadn’t believed, and yet here he was, on his knees, about to be royally screwed by one of the most notoriously vicious vampires in history. _Don’t you just love the irony in that? Ha fuckin’ ha. I’d bet money that wherever Lilah is, she’s laughin’ her fuckin’ ass off._ And yes, okay, so he’d agreed to it, but shit. Angelus _looked_ like Angel, he _felt_ like Angel. Oh, damn...he was so fucking confused by this shit.

 

“Well, well. What have we here, Lindsey?” Picking up the jar of ointment that Lindsey had used on Angel earlier, Angelus laughed. “Vicks Vaporub? That’s what the hell that was? Shit, Lin, that felt really good. In case you couldn’t tell, Angel loved it.” 

 

Angelus opened the jar and dipped two fingers inside, then began to tease Lindsey’s tightly puckered hole. “Although, he was wondering where you learned that trick. You wouldn’t wanna tell me, would you? I’m kind of curious myself, to tell the truth,” Angelus said, as he slid his lubed fingers inside the young man’s body.

 

“I’m not tellin’ you jack. Unnnh...that burns...slow down, Angelus.” Lindsey hissed. “ _Fuck!_ ” He felt his body relaxing around those fingers, his cock twitching in reaction to the burn, and he suddenly realized he’d never lost the erection at all. 

 

_Oh, great. That’s just fucking great. Do you think he...yeah, you stupid fuck, you know he knew! “Really interesting reaction to danger.” Riiiiiiiight._ “Oh, fuck me,” Lindsey groaned in reaction to that thought, grabbing a pillow, burying his face in it. He was blushing furiously.

 

“I will Lin, don’t doubt that.” Angelus said, slipping another finger in, stretching Lindsey a little more, deliberately avoiding the young man’s prostate. _No way is he going to come before me._ “Shit, Lindsey. You’re so hot, so damn tight inside. I can’t wait to get in there.”

 

Using his free hand, Angelus began coating his cock with the ointment. Removing his fingers and placing his cock against Lindsey’s opening, Angelus paused, leaned over and whispered in the young man’s ear, “Now _we’re_ gonna play.” And with one hard thrust, Angelus buried himself in Lindsey’s heat.

 

“ _DON’T...ANGELUS!_ ” Lindsey screamed as he felt Angelus slide in, a smooth but painful move. He felt his body giving in to the invasion, wrapping itself around the vampire, pain mixing with pleasure as Angelus began pumping in and out of him with deep, slow, measured strokes. 

 

Lindsey groaned as the sensation of being taken overcame him. _This_ was what he’d wanted, waited for all day, and his body didn’t seem to care that it wasn’t Angel who was fucking him, Lindsey thought maybe _he_ didn’t care, either. He let passion take him over, tired of trying to think, when this felt so damn good. “Oh, God, don’t stop. Angelus...don’t stop,” he softly moaned.

 

Angelus chuckled. “Wasn’t planning on it, Lindsey,” the vampire said, as he dug his fingers into the young man’s flesh, and began pumping faster within him. They were so close, he could feel Lindsey’s heart beating, heard the sigh before Lindsey subsequently began moving his body in time with him. 

 

Angelus moaned at the feeling of this boy moving under him, at the glorious sensation of being clenched from inside-however unconsciously Lindsey was doing it-because Lindsey was softly moaning, too. _Angel was right_ , he thought. The raspy sound of Lindsey’s voice in passion was the sexiest thing Angelus had ever heard, too.

 

Lindsey knew he was going to have bruises from Angelus’ fingers digging into him, but he didn’t care. The slick slide of that cock pumping in and out of him, rubbing his prostate with every damn stroke was all he knew in that moment. He was so close to coming, it was all he wanted to know. 

 

Lindsey started bucking his body into Angelus faster, harder as he groaned, and bit down on the pillow to stop himself from begging the vampire to fuck him harder. Because he _wasn’t_ gonna do that. No fucking way. And he didn’t just squeal like a girl, either. That noise hadn’t come out of him. Really. It hadn’t. _Neither did that._ Lindsey bit down on the pillow harder.

 

Angelus was glad Lindsey couldn’t see his face, because he was grinning manically. Lindsey was fun to play with, and Angelus planned on having a lot of fun with him, while he could. Making him beg sounded like great fun to be had. He reached one arm around to take Lindsey in hand, and Angelus had to bite his lip to stop himself from laughing at the muffled noises the young man made, the way his body shuddered at his touch, at the almost frantic way Lindsey was moving under him. 

 

He moved his hand to stroke Lindsey, once, twice, and he felt the contractions begin inside his body as his climax approached. Angelus slammed into Lindsey, spilling his seed into him as the orgasm tore through his own body. At that same time, Angelus clamped his hand tight around the base of the young man’s cock, effectively cutting off Lindsey’s climax in one swift move.

 

Lindsey screamed.

 

 

*******************************

 

 

Gunn’s hand tightened on the crossbow in his grip at Lindsey’s pained scream. He was at somewhat of a loss as to what to do at the moment. He knew that the two men in the other room were having sex. It sounded both consensual and extremely erotic, which only added to his confusion as to what his next move should be.

 

Standing outside the door meant that he missed almost nothing. He could hear almost every word, every laugh, every moan, every gasp. He almost believed that if he held his own breath –– he would be able to hear skin slide against skin and whispered words dropped in open mouths, before being swept back out again with wet, urgent tongues.

 

_And what’s that smell? Smells like that Vick’s vapor rub stuff. What the hell are they doing with that?_

 

“Unnnh...that burns...slow down...Angelus.” _Ohhh. That’s what they were.... **Sooo** not going there! I can’t believe I’m listening to this. Shit!_

 

“Don’t...Angelus!” Snapped back into reality at Lindsey’s scream, Gunn plastered himself against the wall behind him and tried to process everything he’d heard so far. Which he had to admit, wasn’t much thanks to the auditory visuals flooding his brain, although one thing rang out loud and clear.

 

Angelus was back and in the process of making Lindsey his boy toy for the moment.

 

“Oh God...don’t...stop. Angelus...don’t stop.” 

 

_And evidently, Lindsey doesn’t mind. Sick little fucker! What the hell did Lindsey do to Angel that set Angelus free? I knew having him here was going to be a bad idea. Now he’s brought Angelus back down on us._

 

Wincing at Lindsey’s next scream, Gunn reflexively took another step towards the doorway, then paused. _Wait a sec. I’m about to go in there and risk my ass to save Lindsey’s? Why? That little shit brought this down on himself. So what if Angelus kills him, he’s getting what he deserves, right? Shit! Where’s Wesley when I need him?_ Rechecking the bow in his hand, Gunn turned back towards the door when Angelus’ next words stopped him cold.

 

"Uh uh. I’m not through with you yet, Lin. Shh. Calm down. You know I’m not going to kill you and I’m not hurting you, am I?"

 

"Yes. No. I don’t know. Why the hell did you do that?"

 

_Sonofabitch! Lindsey’s working with Angelus?_ Easing himself back away from the door, Gunn began planning his way back out of the room. 

 

"Angelus, please. I can’t...can’t take much more. I...please."

 

"Please......what, Lindsey?"

 

"Please...make me come, please. Take me, suck me, fuck me into the mattress, I don’t care, just please, please, please let me come."

 

Gunn felt himself blush and was thankful for Lindsey’s next scream. Taking another glance at the bedroom doorway to make sure he was clear, Gunn quickly moved to the door, and eased his way out of the penthouse.

 

He was almost running by the time he reached Wesley’s office, only to find it empty, and the owner no where in sight. Going into his own office, dropping down in his chair, Gunn replayed everything he heard, trying to make some sense of it, but it just kept coming back to this: Lindsey’s gaining power. Lindsey didn’t come here for Angel at all, everyone else is wrong about that. Lindsey came here for Wolfram & Hart. And by claiming him, Angel gave him an all access pass. With his link to Angelus–Lindsey’s just become the most dangerous threat in the building, second only to the Senior Partners.

 

Gunn picked up the phone, punching buttons as he raised the headset to his ear.

 

“Eve, we need to talk.”

 

 

******************************

 

 

Lindsey felt Angelus pull out, and then the vampire flipped him onto his back, the hand never easing it’s grip on his erection. “You bas--” He started to say, only to have his words cut off by lips smashing into his. Lindsey struggled against Angelus, wanting to get away from him now.

 

Angelus moved to whisper into his ear, “Nuh uh. I’m not through with you yet, Lin. Shh. Calm down. You know I’m not going to kill you, and I’m not hurting you, am I?”

 

Lindsey went still, looked at Angelus, noting the vampire was partly serious, and partly amused. “Yes,” he said. “No. I don’t know. Why the hell did you do that?”

 

Angelus smiled. “Lindsey, you were holding back on me. Just because I’m evil doesn’t mean I don’t like hearing the sounds of pleasure from beneath me. I do, very much so. I felt every change in your body, I know just how much you were enjoying that. Yet, you chose to muffle your cries of ecstasy in that pillow. I’d like to know why.”

 

Lindsey blushed. “Because....you aren’t him.” 

 

Angelus snorted, and looked into Lindsey’s eyes for what seemed like a very long time. Lindsey could see thoughts behind those brown eyes, and wished he could know what they were. And in the silence between them, Lindsey’s body began heating up once more. At first, the young man thought it was the eye contact causing it. He slowly realized that Angelus was softly rubbing the bite mark on the tender flesh of his inflamed cock. He bit his lip, and a soft moan escaped despite his effort to stop it.

 

Angelus leaned down, and kissed him, softly, gently, coaxing Lindsey to open his mouth, to let him in, allow him to caress the young man’s tongue with his own. Lindsey closed his eyes, and went with it, because Angelus wasn’t demanding. He was asking. 

 

Lindsey answered with tentative compliance, slowly warming up, until he himself began asking for more, in the way he responded, the way his breathing quickened, in the soft sultry moans he didn’t attempt to stifle. Each little moan he made was reflected back at him, in a soft, growly purr from the vampire, enticing Lindsey, seducing him away from his fear. 

 

He relaxed under the hand caressing his body as he became aware of what he’d previously missed. Angelus was breathing, the same exact way Angel did when very aroused and that knowledge excited Lindsey tremendously. He breathed a ragged moan into the kiss.

 

Angelus groaned at the sound of it, lifting his head to look down into eyes that had opened to peer back at him, desire blazing from the rich blue color they had turned. The smell of Lindsey’s deepened arousal was overwhelming Angelus. He growled softly. Lindsey’s body heat spiked with even more arousal, and he moaned again. 

 

The eye contact suddenly too telling, Angelus lowered his head to lick at Lindsey’s neck, plant soft biting kisses that elicited more erotic responses from the young man, and drove the vampire into a near frenzy to continue hearing the addictive sound. 

 

Angelus slid lower, licked his way down to run his tongue over a nipple, then tug on it with his teeth, gently biting down, and Lindsey arched up, swearing, moaning, panting harshly. The vampire rewarded him by doing the same to the other nipple, biting down even harder on it. 

 

The stinging pain made his head spin and all Lindsey could feel was the heat spiraling through him. Rational thought was gone, all he could do was luxuriate in the touch of Angelus, writhe beneath the lips, teeth, and tongue that were tasting and teasing him. When Angelus flicked his tongue into his navel, licking into it with soft feather strokes, while rubbing that damn bite mark, it was more than Lindsey could withstand, and he finally surrendered. 

 

“Angelus, please,” Lindsey softly moaned. “I can’t...can’t take much more. I...please.”

 

The vampire grinned. _About damn time._ And he couldn’t help himself, he had to tease just that small bit more. “Please...what, Lindsey?”

 

Lindsey swallowed, then groaned as that thumb rubbed with more pressure. “Please, make me come, _please_. Take me, suck me, fuck me into the mattress, I don’t care. Just _please, please, please_ let me come.”

 

Angelus purred. “That’s my boy. I knew you could do it,” he said, then he lowered his head, licking away the wetness on that warm belly, on that warm cock, so filled with life, so ready to explode, and the vampire moaned at the taste of Lindsey’s essence on his tongue. 

 

Lindsey gasped in surprise at the sound, and Angelus lifted his head to look at him, because he wanted Lindsey to know how much he wanted to do this. Lindsey shuddered at the desire in those brown eyes, he trembled at the need he saw in them and he reached down to touch that face looking at him that way. An evil little grin broke out on the vampire’s face, and Lindsey smiled back with one of his own and he wove that hand into his lover’s hair, petting him, asking him, begging without words. 

 

In response, Angelus didn’t make him wait longer, he just took Lindsey in all the way, sucking hard as he did. Lindsey screamed, arched up, his hand tightening in the hair he was grasping, and he began thrusting hard, utterly unable to stop himself from responding that way, but that didn’t seem to matter, because Angelus moved both hands to hold onto Lindsey, and his movements urging Lindsey to keep fucking him like that. 

 

He took Lindsey deep into his throat, alternately tightening and relaxing in response to the thrusts the young man made into him. Angelus could feel the throbbing beat of Lindsey’s heart against his tongue and when he knew he was on the edge of climax, Angelus held Lindsey down to immobilize him and he slid his fangs into the bite mark that belonged to him.

 

Lindsey screamed the vampire’s name at the top of his lungs, and saw stars burst behind his closed eyes. The combination of his blood being withdrawn and the feel of himself jerking inside Angelus, over and over was mind-blowing. It felt like he would never stop, the pain and pleasure of it binding him to the vampire, making him his, just as much as he belonged to Angel, because they really were one and the same to him.

 

Angelus felt Lindsey begin to fall apart beneath him, his very human body beginning to rapidly shut down, overstimulation, exhaustion and fatigue overwhelming it. He could feel Lindsey’s mind struggling to make sense of all that had happened, before it too succumbed to weariness.

 

Gently easing his fangs out of the young man’s body, Angelus licked Lindsey clean and then slid up and wrapped himself around the heat of his mortal lover. Feeling the young man relax back into him, Angelus smiled. //Oh, you idiot Angel, you better turn this one soon, because if you don’t then _I_ most assuredly will, for he is definitely worthy. And the fun we will have.....// 

 

“ _Love you, Angel_.” 

 

Yanked from his thoughts as Lindsey snuggled even closer to him, Angelus silently snarled as the whispered words slammed into his brain. Knowing that even though Lindsey wanted _him_ , the young man loved Angel and probably always had and that just irritated the hell out of him. 

 

He absent-mindedly toyed with Lindsey’s hair, as he wondered why the hell that should even matter to him at all.

 

Lindsey smiled in contentment, his mind at ease with the things he’d learned, as he drifted off to sleep.


	33. Chapter 31  Touched

  
Author's notes: The song Angelus sings in this chapter is "Silent Lucidity" by Queensryche  


* * *

Spike listened to Wesley’s side of the conversation without much surprise and no shock at all. He’d been subjected to Buffy’s spectacular rant on the subject of Angel’s new position at Wolfram and Hart. Wasn’t much of a stretch that her watcher had an attitude about it, as well. He’d tried telling Wesley this, but the former watcher had dismissed the idea that Rupert Giles could be so closed-minded. Spike idly wondered how long it would be before the British version of name-calling occurred.

 

God, he _hated_ research. The only reason he’s stuck it out this long was because it was for Lindsey’s sake, and Spike didn’t want to even _think_ about why he even cared that much about someone he’d only known a short amount of time. 

 

But they were getting nowhere, fast and Spike was beginning to believe only a miracle would prevent the boy from losing his soul. It was just the way things _were_ , the way they were meant to be, and it looked like nothing they could come up with was going to help. 

 

Maybe, if they had more time but Spike thought time was growing short. Damn short. The invasive, creepy feeling that all of this was pre-ordained attempted to invade him again, but he ignored it, just like he’d been doing all evening. He didn’t need this shit now, none of them did. _You shouldn’t be surprised. After all, when it rains, it pours._

 

He drummed his fingers impatiently on the arm of the chair, and....sure enough, another random thought flittered through his mind. _Just when you think you know what’s going to be, life comes along and bites you in the ass, don’t you know that by now?_

 

"Oh, yeah, that’s very original," he muttered.

 

He waited, watching Wesley talk. _You deserve a break today, so get up and get away....._

 

He ran his fingers through his short, colorless hair, trying to squeeze the thoughts away. "Oh, bloody hell," he growled softly. "I don’t need this shit now." _The answer is in plain view. If you had your eyes wide open, you’d see it._

 

Spike almost jumped out of the chair when his cell phone rang. "Oh, thank you, Angel," he said, getting up and moving a little distance away from Wesley and the argument. He flipped open the phone, put it to his ear and said, "About fucking time you called, ya big poof!"

 

"Nice to hear your voice, too, Will. Sorry it took me so long. I’ve been a little...detained."

 

All the spit dried up in Spike’s mouth at the sound of that voice in his ear. He hadn’t heard that voice in ages. A tiny frisson of fear skittered down his spine and Spike found himself straightening his posture in deference to it. "Angelus?" he whispered. 

 

"Yeah, Will, I’m back," Angelus said, a soft growl in his voice.

 

Spike closed his eyes and let that purr envelope him. He could feel the blood in his veins speeding up, moving faster, as if sensing that changes were coming and becoming excited about it. Then a vision of Lindsey flashed behind his eyelids and his eyes snapped back open. "Where are you? Are you with Lindsey? Is he still alive? What are..."

 

"Will!"

 

Spike shut up. He could hear the amusement in Angelus’ voice and relaxed, letting loose the breath that he didn’t even realize he was holding. 

 

Angelus chuckled at the sound of that breath being exhaled. "Lindsey’s fine, although he’s going to need something to eat and maybe some juice when he wakes up. Think you can help me with that?"

 

"Love to." _Anything to get me away from here and all this useless prattle._ "Anything in particular you want?" Spike said.

 

"You can decide. Just make sure there’s lots of it. Maybe some fresh fruit and orange juice. Anything high in iron, too," Angelus said. "Lindsey’s going to need it when he wakes up, because I’m not finished with him yet."

 

"You drank from him? Holy hell, Angel’s gonna have a bloody shit-fit. Hey! How the fuck did you get loose for so long? Is the big poof gone for good?" Spike asked, mortified at himself for not thinking about that until just now, even though he’d seen Angelus briefly earlier in the day.

 

Angelus didn’t answer for a full minute, but when he did, his voice was all silk. "Funny how long it took you to ask that. Your first thoughts were of Lindsey, Will. That’s really very, very interesting. We’ll have to discuss that later. But Lindsey’s going to wake soon, and I want someone to be here when he does, so could you maybe step on it?"

 

Spike headed out the door. "What? Angel didn’t have a problem leaving Lindsey alone and where are you going? Does anybody else know about...you?"

 

"Yeah, but Angel’s pretty fucking stupid, isn’t he, Will? I mean, what kind of moron fighting the good fight signs up with Evil, Incorporated? No matter the reason, it was the most idiotic thing he’s ever done...well, other than screwing a slayer. But hell, who around here _hasn’t_ done a slayer, that’s what I’d really fucking like to know," Angelus chuckled. "And...no. No one knows, but you and Lindsey. I’m not entirely sure what’s going on, that’s why I need to leave. I need to find out."

 

_Oh, Christ! Angel understands about Buffy, but you know Angelus doesn’t. And the bastard’s gonna rub it in for all he’s worth. Bloody hell!_

 

Spike sighed. "Leave the door unlocked and I’ll be there shortly."

 

*****************************

 

 

Lorne was at his desk, going through contract negations when the door to his office opened. He glanced up, looked back at the contracts, then froze, jerking his head back up at the sight in front of him. 

 

He swallowed in reflex to the sudden dryness in his mouth, as his unexpected guest smoothly sat down in the chair opposite him, hooking one leather-clad leg over the armrest in an arrogant manner, crossing his arms, and just looked at Lorne, waiting for a response of some sort. 

 

But at this moment, Lorne had nothing...at least, nothing he was sure wouldn’t get him killed in an excruciatingly painful manner.

 

Angelus grinned. "What’s the matter, Lorne? You’re looking a little green. Didn’t expect to see me again, did you?"

 

That silenced the need for discretion in Lorne. Figuring, if he was going to die regardless, he might as well speak his piece, Lorne bitingly said, "Where the hell is Lindsey? What did you do to him, you sadistic bastard?"

 

Angelus merely raised an eyebrow. " _Again with the Lindsey._ You know, for such an evil fucking lawyer, he sure does garner a lot of loyalty from Angel’s so-called friends. Makes me wonder about you guys, it really does." 

 

"That’s not an answer," Lorne gritted out.

 

"Lindsey’s fine, don’t get your panties in a bunch, sweet thing," Angelus said, smiling at the look of relief crossing Lorne’s features. "A little worn out, but he’ll be fine. And I’d watch who you called a sadist, where I you. Lindsey’s not quite the innocent you seem to want to believe he is, Lorne. These aren’t mosquito bites on my neck, are they? Lindsey put them there, and he got off doing it, too. Your view of him is a little _off_ , isn’t it?"

 

Lorne relaxed, just a smidgen, when he realized what he was seeing in Angelus’ eyes. He still had the soul in him. "My view of a lot of things has been off, recently," Lorne replied. "But you know all about that, don’t you, Angelus? It was my false reading that allowed you to nearly kill us all last year. As for Sweet Pea, he’s a hard one to read. He’s always been so ambiguous. Years ago, he’d come around to my club, sing, and I’d see nothing but hate for Angel, and a deep desire for his death in the boy. Then, a week or so later, he’d come around again, and he’d be all about wanting to fuck Angel into the next millennium. That is, until his hand got wacked off. Lindsey just couldn’t bring himself to sing after that." Lorne paused, then said, "You know, I always wondered..."

 

Angelus growled. " **I** didn’t fucking _do that_! That self-righteous asshole Angel did! I wouldn’t hurt Lindsey like that for a million--" He stopped at the look of supreme satisfaction that settled on Lorne’s face. "Oh, now that was just plain evil. Hmm...I think I like you." 

 

He chuckled once more, then frowned. "I don’t know what you _think_ you just saw, but I don’t want to hear you say it, is that clear, Lorne? I’ll kill you in ways they haven’t invented yet. I’ll let Angel back out and let him sing Manilow for you until you go crazy from the horror of it. I’ll skin you alive and wear your epidermis for a jacket, I’ll---"

 

"Rip my heart out of my butt and eat it for supper? Sing me a new one, cause I’m not buying it this time," Lorne said. "Why aren’t you out trying to kill everyone in the building, Angelus? I can see you still have a soul, but having a soul doesn’t stop you from doing or being evil. You came out, played around with Lindsey and then what? You came running to me for an answer? Doesn’t that tell you _something_ , or are you as dense as we all know Angel can be?"

 

Angelus narrowed his eyes at Lorne. "I’m warning you. _One. Last. Time._ Don’t fucking say it."

 

Lorne smiled. "I don’t have to. It’s as plain to me as those gorgeous leather pants you’re wearing, which by the way, look damn fine on you. I kind of missed seeing that style, you wear it so well."

 

Angelus just looked at Lorne, then glanced down at himself. "All this other bullshit aside, can you read me? Lindsey still doesn’t believe. I tried to make him understand, but he just can’t. Or he just won’t. Things just feel _strange_ to me, Lorne."

 

Lorne shook his head at the foolishness of Angel’s demon. "I’ll read you, but Lindsey doesn’t believe, because he’s right, as far as he himself is concerned, in relation to _you._ And you know it, you’re just too stone-headed to admit it. He can sense it inside of himself and all the evil you’ve done doesn’t matter to him, does it? You met him, Angelus and with one look, _you knew_ , isn’t that right? You didn’t have to go through all the soul-searching that Spike did. The soul was already there, wasn’t it? And you’re clinging to it like you’re drowning. You both claimed Lindsey, you both mated him, and if you’d stop denying it to yourself, you’d be better off, but I can see I’m talking to a damn brick wall here, so go ahead. Sing. Anything but "Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head". I don’t want to ever hear that shit again."

 

Angelus glared at Lorne and softly begins to sing, gaining volume with each word:

 

_Hush now, don't you cry_

_Wipe away the teardrop from your eye_

_You're lying safe in bed_

_It was all a bad dream_

_Spinning in your headYour mind tricked you to feel the pain_

_Of someone close to you leaving the game of life_

_So here it is, another chance_

_Wide awake you face the day_

_Your dream is over... or has it just begun?_

_There's a place I like to hide_

_A doorway that I run through in the night_

_Relax child, you were there_

_But only didn't realize it and you were scared_

_It's a place where you will learn_

_To face your fears, retrace the years_

_And ride the whims of your mind_

_Commanding in another world_

_Suddenly you hear and see_

_This magic new dimension_

_I will be watching over you_

_I am gonna help you see it through_

_I will protect you in the night_

_I am smiling next to you, in silent lucidity_

 

 

Lorne closed his eyes, and let the barrage of Angelus’ musical stylings wash over him, and he began to see images, fast moving, fragmented, heartbreaking, and not quite enough to know everything...like every reading he’d done since last year. But he got enough to know one thing loud and clear. Time was of the essence for Angelus to come to believe. And he could relieve at least one of the vampire’s worries. He opened his eyes when Angelus’ voice drifted away to silence.

 

The combination of sorrow and hope within Lorne’s gaze stunned Angelus. He was struck speechless. Lorne looked earnestly at him and said, "You shouldn’t be wasting time with me, Angelus. Lindsey’s time is soon, and you know it. You sense it. You’re worried about something that was set in motion a long time ago. Nothing can stop it now...but I can offer you some hope. His soul isn’t an issue here, and neither is yours. I can’t explain it, but it’s true. Now, go back to Lindsey. Welcome him to the family, the way you’re supposed to, in a way he’ll always remember. He may need the comfort of family one day and both you and Angel know it. You need to build a bond within the line of Aureilus so strong, nothing can break it. It’s more important than I can say that you do this. Lindsey is already one of you, he just needs to know it, to know what being mated to you truly means, within the family. He's seen glimpses of that today. He’ll only be as strong as you give him the _freedom_ to be, Angelus."

 

Angelus frowned. "But Lorne, Angel won’t like that."

 

"Since when do you give a damn about what Angel likes?" Lorne replied.

 

Angelus snorted. "I don’t, not really. But it’s _Lindsey_ we’re talking about here, Lorne."

 

Lorne said, "Why do you think Angel checked out, Angelus? Because he got a sudden happy, after all he’s shared with Lindsey? Oh, please...spare me! He did it because he knew his jealousy would get in the way of what he knew has to be done. He left you in charge to see that it was done right. Isn’t that so?" 

 

Angelus remembered Angel’s last thought before he’d drifted away. _Please....don’t turn Lindsey_ He raised his eyes to look directly at Lorne. "Maybe. Yeah, maybe he did. But still, I can’t. I mean, Lindsey doesn’t want--"

 

Lorne smirked and shook his head. "Trust me, Angelus. Lindsey _wants_ and what’s more, his instincts won’t fail him. Everything will work out, you’ll see." 

 

He grinned as Angelus stood a little uncertainly, and turned for the door. "Oh, by the way, Lindsey was right. You don’t know what you’re missing. You’ll love it. Unless...Angelus, you’re not afraid, are you?" 

 

The grin got wider as Angelus snorted and left before Lorne could clarify that remark. Lorne sat there for awhile, mulling over all he’d seen in reading the vampire, understanding some things now that he hadn’t before, but left quite confused by others. He finally left to seek out the one person who could- _hopefully_ -scare up a few answers for him.

 

 

*****************************

 

 

_The screams, whimpers, and the begging from the dying had quieted to a dull roar, and despite the pity for his colleagues that Lindsey couldn’t help but feel, there was also a detachment that allowed him to view the bloodbath with an open mind. He’d felt this same detachment in Holland’s office, waiting for the bullet that would end his life. In some way, he thought Angel had, in part, locked him in with Drusilla and Darla to show him what horrors they...all of them....were capable of._

_He was startled out of his reverie by Darla, who turned to him, dropping her latest victim like so much refuse before walking toward him. Lindsey had thought her beautiful when she was human, but that beauty had been a delicate one. Now he found Darla even more alluring. She was wild and free, strong and confident, as sleek and as sensuous as a cat._

_As she drew near him, Lindsey smirked as he recalled Holland earlier tonight informing him he needed to have 'healthy attachments'. In this fantasy world of monsters, both demon and human, Lindsey had to laugh at the presumption that he’d ever want anything approaching normal, not knowing what he was._

_Darla stopped in front of him, gazing at him with her yellow-tinged eyes, the little demonic features marring the classic beauty of her face, but not detracting from it, rather the inhumanity enhanced that beauty. "Still not afraid, are you, Lindsey?"_

_He smiled gently at her. "No, I’m not."_

_Darla pushed aside the shirt, to expose the skin of his neck, leaned inward, fangs grazing the skin along his throat. "Mmm...I wish I could be there to see the look on his face when he finds out I killed you," she said, then slid her fangs in._

_Lindsey only saw a flash of red, then felt a burning sensation as Darla was torn away from him, leaving small gouges where her fangs dragged against his flesh. He saw Darla flung across the room, as Drusilla stood between them. "You keep away from my brother," she said._

_Darla barely managed to remain standing upright. She threw an annoyed look at Drusilla and said bitingly, "Have you gone mad?" Then she laughed cruelly at her choice of words. "Oh-wait. I almost forgot. You are mad! Why else would you put yourself between me and something I want? Get the hell out of my way, Dru. He’s mine."_

_Drusilla shuddered at Darla’s tone, but she didn’t move. Lindsey placed his hands on Dru’s shoulders, gently kneading them to soothe her, something he’d learned calmed her down while she’d been his houseguest. "It’s okay, Drusilla. I’m not afraid of dying."_

_"No, it’s not okay," Drusilla whispered. "It’s not your time yet and it won't be at her hands when it is. The stars told me so."_

_Darla growled. "You aren’t seriously thinking of defying me, are you, Dru?" She laughed again at the absurdity of that thought, then strode back up to them, hand poised to push the other vampire aside, only to be stunned when she was knocked back again and this time she did land on her ass. She looked up in astonishment to see Drusilla standing in a defensive stance, a piece of broken wood in her hand._

_Tears were threatening to fall from her eyes, but Drusilla raised her chin in a defiant gesture. "I’m so sorry, grandmum. But if you come near him again, I’ll send you to hell. I made you and I’ll destroy you if I have to. He belongs to Daddy and you know it." She ignored Lindsey’s snort from behind her and pointed to Lilah, who was cowering in a corner. "Go play with the pretty lawyer. She’s much better fun, anyway."_

_Darla glared at Dru, clearly wanting to tear her apart, but rules were rules and Dru was right. Darla owed her. She slowly stood up, then she hissed, "You’ll pay for this later, Drusilla."_

_Dru held her gaze and didn’t back down. "I’d expect nothing less, grandmum," she replied._

_With one last, longing look at Lindsey, Darla walked toward Lilah, who began whimpering pitifully. Drusilla turned to face Lindsey, who didn’t know whether to be grateful or pissed off. "Drusilla, I don’t belong to--"_

_She cut him off by placing one finger against his lips. "Shh, brother. The stars sang me a story about pretty boys playing in the night and they told me a secret. Wanna hear it?"_

_Lindsey frowned, then decided to play along, because what else could he do? "Okay, tell me your secret," he said in a seductive manner, whispering like it was some great thing, which it seemed to him as if Drusilla thought it was._

_She giggled like a little girl with her best friend. "You’re going to set me free from the prison I live in and your faith will be my salvation, brother." She giggled again, smiled very sweetly at him and that was all Lindsey knew, because she delivered a swift uppercut to his jaw, knocking him out cold._

 

Lindsey jerked, struggling in the bed clothes, until he became aware that he’d been dreaming. Again. He let out a ragged breath, laid back against his pillow and ran a hand across his face, blinking the sleep away. 

 

It had been a few months since he’d had that recurring dream...nightmare...flashback...whatever the hell it was. Except, that particular dream was more along the lines of total recall and actually, the last time he’d had it had been shortly before he’d called Angel from Oklahoma. 

 

But before that, he’d dreamed about that horrible night sporadically, right up until he’d went to Father Michael, after he’d been absolved of his sins and had his tattoo blessed. Then the dreams had started, this one among them, and he’d thought the dream a part of the weirdness happening at the time. 

 

Lindsey wondered why he’d have it again now, after he’d accepted the inevitable truth that he _did_ belong at Angel’s side, after they’d acted on it and were now bound forever.

 

Aside from that, there was also his strange connection with Drusilla herself. Everyone who knew him back then had been aware of his desire for Darla. He now thought everyone may have also been aware of his fascination with Angel, too. Hell, since he was alone, he could admit to himself that, um...yeah, little Lindsey wanted to get to know Spike, as well. 

 

And he’d _never_ had any sexual thoughts about Drusilla. In fact, the mere thought of that was repugnant to Lindsey. It felt like the worst sort of sacrilege, and he wasn’t sure why, but he knew without doubt she’d felt the same about him and that was a world of strange for a creature as carnal as Drusilla was. 

 

Yet, from the second they’d met, when she had looked into his eyes, and called him brother, he’d _known_ Drusilla wouldn’t harm him. Holland and Lilah had been absolutely horrified when Lindsey had instinctively invited the vampire to stay with him, even more so when Drusilla had happily agreed, linked her arm in his and began merrily prattling on like she’d known him all her life. 

 

Lindsey now realized that Drusilla had treated him like an equal, not someone to be used as a pawn. She hadn’t looked down on him or played with his emotions or acted like he was a second class citizen or someone who had had a chance at redemption and fucked it all up. She’d looked at him without judgement, and accepted him for what he was. 

 

And he’d respected that and responded to it, because no one had ever done that before. Drusilla hadn’t smelled him up or made any advances toward him, whatsoever. And yeah, he’d been quite aware of her vampiric nature but he hadn’t been bothered by it, despite the fact that just knowing what Angel was, and what Darla had been, turned him on ten ways till Sunday, even though he wouldn’t admit to that little kink back then. It was the first time he’d relied solely on instinct alone and, in the end, Drusilla had saved his life.

 

He let himself relax slightly as his thoughts drifted away from the dream. He wondered where Angel was and if he’d ever get to actually wake up in his lover’s arms. Lindsey wanted to do that, very much so. It must be nice to wake up in the arms of someone you loved, he thought. That was something he’d never done before and in this land mine of firsts, it’s one thing among so many things he wanted to know.

 

He sighed and sat up and was assailed by a wave of dizziness. _Uh. Note to self: Don’t forget to eat._ He realized he wasn’t sticky in places he should have been, which meant Angel had cleaned him up while he was asleep and Lindsey was slightly annoyed by the lack of personal privacy the vampire showed when it came to such matters. Then he recalled those last moments before sleep had claimed him, and felt the sensations all over again. _Oh. Blood loss, too, then. Wonder how much he took?_ And then he was curious what the bite mark looked like, because he hadn’t examined it yet. 

 

He raised the sheet, slipping his hand down to adjust himself to see and was awed by the tiny punctures, which were still slightly weeping blood. Curious, he slid his thumb over them, and he felt the touch all over his body, but mostly in his cock, which got full and heavy in his hand. Smiling, he did it again and was thrilled at the wave of fire that went through him. 

 

His balls were a little tender from the several times he’d come already, but Lindsey thought _Why the hell not?_ and he started softly rubbing the mark, not really jerking off, just stroking the mark, enjoying the sensual feeling it gave him, to touch himself so intimately there. He closed his eyes and softly moaned.

 

Lindsey was startled when he heard Spike’s voice from the vicinity of the doorway. "Here I was worried you’d be all knackered and what do I find? A nummy, sexy Southern boy playing naughty, looking like sin itself. Need any help with that, Gingersnap?"

 

Lindsey smirked, not even opening his eyes. "Umm...you wish," he said, his voice all honey. "What are you doing here, Spike?"

 

"Angelus asked me to bring you something to eat," Spike answered, letting his eyes take in the sight in that bed. It was quite possibly the most erotic thing the vampire had ever seen. And just what the hell was the boy doing?? 

 

He wasn’t jerking off, as Spike had first assumed but he clearly wasn’t just holding himself, either. His cock was very hard, the expression on Lindsey’s face was full of want and need and damn it, Spike could smell his arousal from where he stood. That being just a little more than he could take, Spike said, "Would you please stop doing that. Bloody hell, just what the fuck are you doing, anyway?"

 

Lindsey sighed, opened his sleepy eyes, and grinned at Spike. He said, "Touching myself. What does it look like from over there, Spike?"

 

Spike was amused by Lindsey’s flirtatiously seductive manner. He cocked his head to the side, grinned and replied, "Not quite like you’re wanking off, pet."

 

"Mmm....that’s because I’m not," Lindsey replied in a teasing tone. His grin got wider as he got a wicked idea. "Did you say you brought me food?" 

 

"Uh...yeah huh," Spike said, nearly speechless at the sight of that unholy looking grin.

 

"Bless you, Spike," Lindsey said, then he slowly moved his hand on himself, watching Spike watch him. The grin got really wicked as his hand came out from under the sheet and he slowly licked his fingers clean of the combination of the traces of blood and pre-come that glistened on them, whispering, "I’m so hungry, I could eat myself."

 

"Fuck," Spike muttered and he hoped like hell Angelus would kill him as quick as possible because there was no fucking way to hide his own arousal or the scent of it from his grandsire. But, holy fucking hell, that was the single most blatant display of sexuality Spike had ever seen. 

 

Lindsey laughed out loud as he turned back the sheets, stood up and nonchalantly walked into the bathroom, leaving Spike standing there, mouth open in shock at the boy’s apparent unconcern over his own nudity. And dammit, he’d seen Lindsey _blush_ today. No, it was more than that. He’d seen the boy look at Angel and blush from desire alone. The boy was a confusing enigma, that was for damn sure.

 

Spike turned around and walked into the living room, suddenly glad it was Angel to whom Lindsey was mated with. While he quite fancied the idea of slow sweet sex with the boy, he didn’t want to try and unravel all the mysteries behind those sexy blue eyes, or that wicked sweet smile of his. 

 

Spike had had enough of that sort of thing to last several lifetimes. He still longed for Drusilla, with all her interminable eccentricities. He was tired of being Love’s bitch...although if the opportunity presented itself, he would shag the boy, Spike decided no way in hell would he fall in love with him. That was Angel’s arena. As far as Spike was concerned, his grandsire was welcome to it. 

 

*******************************

 

Lindsey walked out of the bedroom, dressed in nothing more than a pair of threadbare jeans, so worn in, they were nearly white. Spike handed him a bottle of orange juice, taking note of the bite marks on either side of his neck. The claim mark was closed, but the other one was still partially open, which told him that Angelus was the one who’d made it. He hadn’t taken the time to lick it closed.

 

And judging from what he’d seen on his hand when Lindsey had licked it clean, that meant Lindsey had been bitten at least three times in a very short span of time. Spike thought it was a wonder the boy was still standing, yet he had heard him tell Angelus if he wanted to suck neck, to suck his. The boy had obviously been serious. 

 

Lindsey opened the bottle and downed half the contents in one swallow. It was very cold, very sweet and made him realize how hungry he was. He noticed Spike staring at his neck, looking over his body. Frowning at the bruises high on his hips where Angel’s...Angelus’ fingers had dug into him. "Why are you looking at me that way?"

 

"He didn’t force you, did he, Gingersnap?" Spike asked.

 

A blush crept up Lindsey’s neck, until his face was a very pretty shade of pink. "No, Angel didn’t force me," he replied. "I’m fine, Spike. A little dizzy, but fine. I’ll be okay."

 

Spike looked at him, watched Lindsey finish the juice, then said, "You do realize that’s not Angel, don’t you?"

 

Lindsey shrugged. "Whatever. It’s all the same to me. Did you think I’d deny him, because he suddenly decided to let his demon come out? Yeah, I was startled, but it’s still Angel. Why don’t you get that?"

 

Spike was so exasperated, he blurted out, "Why the hell can’t you see the bloody difference?"

 

Lindsey sighed. "Okay, look, I’m really hungry, Spike. Why don’t we sit down, so I can eat and I’ll try to explain it to you."

 

"Yeah, okay," Spike said, then turned to go into the kitchen area, where he’d set everything out on the table.

 

Lindsey gasped when he saw what Spike had brought him. His gaze took it all in, the barbecued ribs, the dirty rice, the beer, the watermelon, the strawberries, the little bottle of honey and a sliver of fear ran down his spine, because these were his favorite foods and there was no way in hell Spike could have known that. 

 

He knew that what he was looking at was his last meal as a human. He shivered as the thought _You’re a dead man walking, but you know that now, right? Time is short, Lindsey._ filtered through his mind. And he turned his glance toward the window, puzzlement written on his features.

 

Spike noticed what he was doing and the expression on his face. "What’s wrong, Lindsey? Did Angelus go outside or something?"

 

Lindsey shook his head. "No, Angel’s still in the building. I can feel him. I just..." he paused, then shook his head again. "It’s nothing, I guess. I just got creeped out, man. How did you know these are my favorite foods?"

 

Spike shrugged. "I didn’t know they were, really. I just didn’t even think about it. I just bought this stuff. Is that okay or did you want pizza or something? I mean, we can order out, if you don’t wanna eat this, if it bothers you."

 

Again, Lindsey shook his head no, and said, "Nah. This is fine. Better than fine, it’s wonderful. Thank you, Spike."

 

He pulled a chair out, sat down, and looked back up at the vampire. "I hope to hell you don’t think I can eat all this by myself. Didn’t Angel say you eat food? C’mon, man. Help me out with all this and I’ll tell you about a self-righteous asshole who changed my life, how about it?"

 

Spike smiled, reached for a beer, and sat down in another chair. "Sounds like a plan to me."


	34. Chapter 32- Lesson

Eve glanced at her watch as she came up to Gunn's door. Two hours had passed since he had called her and told her that he needed to talk to her. But it couldn't be helped. The Senior Partners were excited about something and they had needed their Girl Friday to fetch and gather for them.

 

Tapping lightly on the door, more as a last second courtesy, she walked in without waiting for permission. "What's up, Charles? I don't have a lot of time. Something has the Senior Partners all worked up, which has me running around as well. Thanks for the break, though," Eve said, as she sat down. 

 

She noticed the glass in the man’s hand and was slightly taken back. She had never seen Charles drink before. Gazing around the office, she took in the variety of weapons spread out and turned back to the lawyer. "Charles? What’s with all the weaponry? Big throw down tonight with some big ugliness somewhere?" 

 

Gunn turned and looked at Eve. "The big ugly is Angelus. He’s back. That’s probably what has the Partners all worked up. Guess Lindsey really did make Angel happy, huh?"

 

Eve crossed her legs and very sweetly said, "Tell me something, Charles. Didn’t anyone in your merry band of do-gooders ever do any research on Lindsey? Maybe ask yourselves what it is about him that made him so important to Wolfram & Hart? I mean, hey, let’s face it, lawyers are a dime a dozen. Easily findable, trainable, expendable. So, why the big fuss over Lindsey?"

 

"No. Why would we? Once he was gone, it didn’t matter. Aside from Angel, I doubt any of us ever thought about him. Out of sight, out of mind, you know? Why don’t you get straight to the point, Eve," Gunn said, irritation tinging his voice.

 

Eve smiled superficially before continuing. "Lindsey was chosen by Holland Manners, not just for who he is, but for _what_ he is. From the moment they found him, he had a mission. He just didn’t know it."

 

Gunn stared at her, then said, "Mission being Angel?"

 

Eve shook her head and replied, "Mission being Angelus. Angel was never supposed to happen. The gypsies created Angel and screwed up the Senior Partner’s plan. And so, in looking into alternate ways of dealing with Angel, they found Lindsey."

 

"What’s so damn special about Lindsey?" Gunn asked.

 

Eve laughed. "Lindsey has a _gift_ , you could say. Something in his blood attracts vampires and he responds to them, as well. But Lindsey’s main attribute is that he has an extreme affinity for the line of Aurelius. Angel, Darla, Drusilla and now Angelus."

 

"Which means what for us? Death? Destruction? Mayhem? All things of which Angelus is famous for." Gunn said, setting the glass down and picking up a crossbow and loading it.

 

Eve bit her lower lip. "That I don’t know."

 

"I do." 

 

They both turned to see Lorne standing in the open doorway. "You’ve seen Angelus?" Gunn said, suspiciously.

 

Lorne grinned. "All six plus feet of him and I must say, he still looks scrumptious in leather. Yowsa!"

 

Gunn frowned, put off by Lorne’s easy manner. _If he knows Angelus is back, why the hell is he smiling?_ "And...?" He said, questioning.

 

"Put the weapons away, Mad Max. It’s fine. He still has a soul, which is why I’m here. Have you seen Wesley?" Lorne said, waving his hands towards the crossbow in Gunn’s hand.

 

Eve frowned. "Wait. How can he be Angelus and still have his soul?" She asked, looking up at Lorne.

 

“Well now, darling of the devil, that’s the big money question, isn’t it?” Lorne answered with slight derision. 

 

“Let’s find Wes,” Gunn said, setting the crossbow down on the nearest chair. Grabbing his jacket, which contained a stake or two in the pockets, he walked out into the hallway.

 

 

***************************

 

Lindsey swallowed a bite of barbequed rib down and chased it with a swig of beer. He had finished telling Spike the bare bones of his years in Los Angeles and after, but he still thought Spike didn’t get it. He’d been hoping Spike, of all people-well, vamps- would. 

 

Lindsey thoughtfully said, “Tell me Spike, what do you see when you watch Angel and me together?”

 

“First off mate, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you and Angel together, other than perhaps the first time, when I kissed you,” Spike answered. “That was Angelus in the office who bit me, pet, not Angel. And it was Angelus who called me to come babysit, not Angel.”

 

“Yeah, _whatever_ ... I got your baby right here,” Lindsey said, running his hand lightly across his still semi-hard cock, noticeable even encased in denim. He grinned when he saw Spike’s tongue dart out and wet his lips, eyes following Lindsey’s movements. “But that’s my point. THAT is Angel to me. That’s how I’ve always seen him.”

 

Spike closed his eyes, trying to erase the image of Lindsey’s hand from his mind. He drank some beer, thinking how best to put it. He took in a deep unneeded breath and said, “Okay. I can honestly see how you’d have trouble telling them apart, but didn’t you _feel_ a difference between then and now? Angelus was always known for his love of pain. I would have thought that you might have picked up on that?”

 

Lindsey shrugged. "Angel likes a little pain, too. In fact, I think the first time Angel took me, he was rougher than he was tonight. Hell, I don't just think it, I know it. So, there's no difference I can see. Besides, I happen to like it and you can't sit there and tell me _you_ don't either. As far as I'm concerned, there is no difference. I haven't seen much evidence to the contrary.” 

 

Spike raised an eyebrow. “Angel rough on you, Gingersnap? Was it worse than being garroted?”

 

“Hell, no. That sucked. I really thought he was gonna kill me that time,” Lindsey replied. “Spike, I've seen who you call Angel do horrible things. I've seen him do not so horrible things. And you know what? I’m _here_ , aren’t I? I'm not running. I accepted the consequences of my actions the minute I left Oklahoma.” Lindsey paused, then softly said, “Maybe....maybe I always knew, deep down, that it would come to this.”

 

“He told you, didn’t he?” Spike said, assuming Angel had told Lindsey what Drusilla had said, not knowing that his grandsire hadn’t mentioned her to Lindsey at all.

 

“Yeah, he did,” Lindsey replied. “It’ll be okay, Spike. At least we’ll be together.” Lindsey grinned. “You know, out of all the vampires I've come into contact with, Angel was the only one who ever tempted me. Oh, I had a thing for Darla, but....that was _after_ I met Angel. I don't know if I'd have wanted her, if not for him."

 

“What about Drusilla? Did you have a thing for her, too?” Spike teasingly said. He was astounded by the reaction he got. It wasn’t what he’d expected.

 

Lindsey’s face seemed to soften as he spoke. “No, Spike, I never had a thing for Dru. She’s different. We have a connection, almost familial like. It’s hard to explain, other than to say Dru feels more like a sister to me. She saved my life once and I guess...I owe her one.”

 

Spike furrowed his forehead in thought. Finally, he softly said, “What about me, pet?”

 

Lindsey grinned. “What about you, Spike?”

 

Spike raised that annoying eyebrow again. “Think of me like a brother, do you then, Gingersnap?”

 

Lindsey turned a becoming shade of pink. He thought about the question and as he did, he began absently peeling the label from the beer bottle. Lindsey wasn’t sure _how_ Angel felt about it because he’d thus far displayed mixed signals in regards to the situation and after the whole fiasco with Darla and with Angel thinking he was Angelus, he wasn’t sure how to answer that question.

 

Finally, deciding a little truth would be alright, Lindsey raised his eyes, looked directly into Spike’s ice blue ones and simply said, “No, I don’t.”

 

Spike smirked. “Didn’t think so, Pet.”

 

Lindsey snorted. “Don’t be so cocky, Spike. _You_ were the one who smelled me up, stared at my bare ass when I was getting dressed and _you_ were the one who kissed me in front of Angel.”

 

Spike laughed. “Yeah, well. _You_ touched yourself in front of me, paraded around naked in my sight and oooh, Gingersnap, that thing you did with that evil, evil hand. _And_ you do know that if Angelus catches wind of all this, he’s gonna kill me.”

 

Lindsey smiled sweetly and said, “Chill, man. Angel isn’t going to kill you. Stop being so melodramatic.”

 

“Depends on what happened with the evil hand,” a voice said from behind. Spike turned around and saw Angelus sauntering in through the door. Strangely enough, considering the anger he’d displayed towards Spike earlier that day, Angelus didn’t appear upset at all. 

 

In fact, he had a positively mischievous grin on his face. “Relax, Will. Lindsey likes to push buttons, see which ones get reactions. It’s quite annoying at times.”

 

“Yeah, I bet it is,” Spike said, glaring at Lindsey, who was still grinning. The sneaky little shit had probably known Angelus was there. 

 

Angelus stood behind Lindsey’s chair and leaned over. Lindsey looked up at him and said, “The evil hand was discovering secrets about that bite mark you put on me. You missed a really good show, Angel darlin’. I think Spike here almost swallowed his tongue.” 

 

“Is that right?” Angelus said. “Lin, what happened to _"I can’t believe he did that!"_ and _"Spike’s too crass for my taste"_ ?”

 

Lindsey raised an eyebrow and smirked, “Didn’t buy it, huh?”

 

“Not hardly,” Angelus whispered, then leaned down and kissed Lindsey briefly. He pulled back a little and softly said, “So, are the boys recovered yet?”

 

“They feel pretty healthy to me,” Lindsey whispered back, then reached a hand up to pull Angel back down because that kiss had been way to short for his liking. He snaked his tongue into the vampire’s mouth, teased Angel with soft flicks, until Lindsey got what he wanted: a heated response that made him breathless and hard. Wanting.

 

Angelus let himself play in the wet heat of Lindsey’s mouth, enjoying the combination of flavors exploding on his tongue: beer, barbeque, the hot spice from the rice dish, and Lindsey himself. He pulled back and grinned at the tiny growl of need and disappointment that the younger man emitted in frustration. “Be a good boy and finish eating, Lin. You haven’t even eaten the sweet stuff yet.”

 

“Humph,” Lindsey muttered. “I got your boy, Angel.” 

 

Angelus laughed. He kissed Lindsey again, just a quick press of lips, then said, “Eat it for me, okay?”

 

Lindsey licked his lips and whispered, “Alright.”

 

Angelus smiled and straightened back up. He looked at Spike, who had a self-satisfied smirk on his face that oddly annoyed his grandsire. Or not so odd, Angelus admitted. Spike always had annoyed him, to one degree or another, had ever since Drusilla had sired him. “What the fuck are you smirking at, Will?”

 

Spike’s smirk got bigger. _Oh, hell yeah. The old boy’s got it bad, alright._ But Spike wasn’t stupid enough to say that out loud, because that would just be _asking_ for it. So, he covered with, “Just enjoying the show, that’s all, Gelus. You two are quite the sight, ya know. Do I get to stay and watch or are you kicking me out, now that I’m through babysitting?”

 

Angelus slowly walked over to Spike and a flicker of mirth appeared on his face at Lindsey’s muttered, “Baby? I’ll show you both _baby_ ,” before the boy started eating again.

 

Spike looked nervously up at him as he approached, and he could tell the younger vampire was still uncertain of his intentions. He leaned down and growled softly at Spike, who shivered in response. This made Angelus smile. “Leave? Oh, no. You’re not going anywhere. We have matters to discuss, boy. _Slayer_ matters.”

 

Spike sighed. “I knew you were going to give me bloody blue hell about the slayer,” he said under his breath.

 

Angelus grinned, grabbed a beer from the ice bucket and sauntered over to sit down in a chair. He flicked the cap off the beer, took a swig and looked at his grandechilde. “Now why would I do that? Brilliant move, getting your soul back. I heard even after you taunted the slayer with all the evil shit you’ve done, she still wouldn’t kill you. Fucking brilliant, Will. Got to give you props, man. That was good. Besides, balling a pissed-off slayer must be like courting death itself. What a rush that's gotta be." 

 

Angelus smiled and glanced over at his lover, who was currently biting into a slice of watermelon. “Isn’t that right, Lindsey?”

 

Lindsey choked on the melon, looking for all the world like a deer caught in the beam of oncoming headlights. Or possibly like someone who’d just had a secret revealed. Recovering rapidly, Lindsey yelped, “What the hell does that mean??”

 

Angelus grinned. “Faith, Lindsey. I know you fucked Faith. That night I came to your office, I could smell her scent all over you. Tell me, Linds-she’s the one who introduced you to the vaporub, isn’t she?”

 

Spike laughed and said, “Holy shit! Where was I? I’m always missing the good stuff!!”

 

Lindsey made that funny little half-snort, half laugh sound of his and replied, “Actually, truth be told-she tied me up and _she_ fucked me. And _yes_ on the lube.” 

 

Lindsey arched his eyebrow at Angel, seeing if he caught the implication in that statement, then turned to smile at Spike, “And yes–a good time was had.”

 

Looking back later, Angel would wonder what exactly it was that had set Angelus off. Was it the fact that Faith had literally fucked (although it sounded more like _raped_ ) what even _then_ , he had considered to be his personal property? Or was it the easy grin Lindsey shared with Spike which clearly implied that he’d enjoyed what Faith had done to him? 

 

Probably the latter, for the next thing he remembered was Lindsey wrapping a towel around the hand that had held the bottle of beer, with the remains of the bottle scattered at his feet.

 

“What the hell happened, babe?” Lindsey said, as he tightened the towel around his lover’s hand to try and stop the bleeding.

 

Spike laughed softly, arched that eyebrow again, and said, “Someone’s a little jealous, pet. Or rather _a lot_ jealous, when it comes to you. Don’t think he much cared for the visuals that your little statement just provided.” 

 

Lindsey pursed his lips, then snapped, “Then he shouldn’t have asked.” Opening the towel to look at the cut, he exclaimed, “Fuck! This is bad, Angel. Spike, hold this towel tightly while I go get him some blood. Maybe we should call someone to come sew him up.”

 

“No, Lindsey. I don’t need sewing up, Will can do it. He's fixed me up before. But I will take the blood. Thanks.” He watched as Lindsey gave him an annoyed look, then left. _He’s feeling dismissed. Poor boy’s gotten spoiled having Angel all to himself. Gonna have to change that._

 

Looking up at Spike, Angelus grinned and said, “Wanna taste me again, boy?”

 

Spike froze. He looked at his grandsire and he knew Angelus was perfectly aware of the consequences such an action on his part would entail. "Are you sure, Angelus? I'm thinkin' your boy in there might not like where this could end up." 

 

Spike looked at Angelus and nodded towards the other room where he could hear Lindsey moving around. "Are you sure you're ready to share?" He was seriously doubting that this had been thought this all the way through, so he pushed a little. 

 

"God knows I'd love a piece of him, but don't you think you should talk to him first? Explain things, especially about our family?" Spike stared hard at Angelus, waiting for a reaction.

 

"Yes, Spike, I'm sure," the older vampire replied. "Some things can't be explained, they have to be shown to be understood. Besides, Lindsey almost assuredly knows. At the very least, he’s responding the way a mate should. But I want you to understand that this is a one time deal to seal the bonds of family, then Lindsey is _off limits_ to you. You understand?” Angelus looked like he wanted to say more but he didn’t, because they both heard Lindsey returning. 

 

Spike looked toward Lindsey, who had returned with a mug of blood, a small bottle of water and another towel. Handing the blood to Angel, he uncapped the small bottle of water, placed the towel under the vampire’s hand and rinsed the wound out as best he could, checking to be sure no glass was embedded in the cut, which was fairly deep. He looked up at Spike and said, “Now what?”

 

Spike took an unneeded breath, then crouched down, taking Angelus’ hand gently from Lindsey’s. He looked into his grandsire’s eyes for a long minute and Lindsey sensed a world of meaning in that glance and for some odd reason, the expression on Spike’s face reminded Lindsey of the sound of his own voice when he'd phoned Angel from Oklahoma. Lonely. A little desperate. Incomplete. It made his heart ache for Spike and he was a little unnerved by it. Then Spike bent his head to the hand he held and began licking the wound.

 

Angel hissed and his brown eyes were suddenly tinged with gold. Lindsey opened his mouth to protest, but before he could, Angel softly moaned and the young man realized it wasn’t the pain-or perversely, maybe it was-that had caused his lover to make the sound. 

 

Lindsey closed his mouth and just watched, fascinated with the two vampires now, as Spike continued to lick at the wound. Which, to Lindsey’s surprise, looked as if it was trying to heal. 

 

“Well, butter my ass and call me a biscuit,” Lindsey muttered, bending down to look closer. Angel laughed out loud, then yelped as Spike bit down on the wound in his own mirth. Lindsey grinned. 

 

Angel smiled at Lindsey’s comment, lifted his other hand to Spike’s head and he began petting it, purring softly. Spike was making the exact same noise and the combined sounds aroused something deep in Lindsey. He could both see and feel that the relationship between the two vampires-although clearly combative and sexual in nature-also closely resembled his own feeling towards Drusilla. 

 

Lindsey saw flashes of memories, in rapid succession, of Drusilla putting herself between Darla and him. Of himself pulling Angel off Spike and standing between them. Saw in his mind’s eye pictures he’d gathered of Darla and Drusilla on the street, Spike calling him family, stories he’d read about all of them while employed at the law firm and Angel laughing, teasing him about Spike’s kiss.

 

Lindsey thought that maybe now he understood both Drusilla and Spike’s instant acceptance of him as one of them and his own doomed desire for Darla while wanting her childe at the same time was at last made clear to him. He'd never really understood Darla’s knowing, sadistic attitude toward him and the antagonistic treatment he’d received at her hands when he'd done so much for her.

 

As Angel’s sire, she’d played with him like a cat plays with a mouse, even...hell, _especially_ , while she was human. He’d known how callous Lilah had thought Darla was but he had dismissed what he hadn’t wanted to hear, let Lilah’s words go in one ear and out the other. His entire history with vampires in general but with this one line in particular-suddenly etched itself into his mind and he understood many little things, all at once.

 

That word- _family_ \- took on meaning and substance, and in his mind, he seemed to hear a distinct echo of Drusilla, approving his thoughts and giggling merrily at him and he turned toward the window once more, unconsciously listening for her, not even realizing he was doing it. He looked back at Angel and then at Spike and he understood his place within the hierarchy of the family. 

 

Lindsey even understood that what he'd tried instinctively himself to do earlier in the day when he had licked at the bite Angel had given Spike was a close approximation of what he was seeing now-Spike healing Angel. He’d even been humming as he’d done it and it had been a close imitation of the purring sounds both vampires were emitting now, as close as any human could come, perhaps.

 

Lindsey felt Angel’s gaze on him, and he lifted his eyes to look at his lover, his mate...soon to be his sire. And he smiled at the vampire, reaching out to touch the side of his face. Angel leaned into the touch, rubbing against his hand like a cat demanding to be petted. 

 

Lindsey laughed softly, leaned down and kissed him gently on the lips and whispered “Don’t forget who you belong to, Angel.” Angelus blinked, then grinned. 

 

Lindsey drew back, smiled saucily and walked back over to his chair, turning it so that it faced toward the two vampires, then sat back down. He resumed eating his food while he watched Spike lick Angel better and he told them all about what Faith had done to him that night several years ago.

 

 

**Flashes:Lindsey/Faith**

 

Author: Menomegirl

 

Disclaimer: Joss owns them, I don’t. Just having fun.

 

Rating: NC17

 

Characters: Lindsey, Faith, brief apperance by Angel

 

Pairings: Lindsey/Faith, implied Lindsey/Angel

 

Warning~Language, pre-slash 

 

Time frame: Prelude to _Burning Imprints_. Takes place during the episode “Five by Five”.

 

Summary~Lindsey promised to get Faith off. Maybe he shouldn’t have insulted her.

 

“Fame” lyrics written by Irene Cara

 

_Flashes_

 

He came out of the bathroom and wasn't really shocked to find her there. He eyed that tight leather, that whore red shirt, raised one eyebrow and said, "Don't you have a job to do?"

 

"Oh, I'll get around to it. I came to collect on your promise."

 

He smirked at her. "You can collect when the job's done, not before."

 

She frowned. "I think someone has an obsession."

 

He laughed. "Darlin', if it came down to him or you....." He paused, looking over her with distaste clearly stamped on his face. He snorted. "I'd rather be gay."

 

He often wondered later why she didn't kill him before she stormed out. 

 

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

He twisted his wrists, but they were bound too tightly to leave him much room to maneuver, although he's not sure how much good it would do, were he to get free. She'd probably fucking kill him and he's not so sure that's not part of Faith's plan, as it is. 

 

He wishes like hell he'd remembered Lee's vicious beating at her hands earlier that night. Perhaps he wouldn't have been so crass when he insulted her, but Christ! He had never imagined that Faith would come back. And now he's totally fucked.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

 

He hears the snick of the blade as Faith casually saunters back into the room. She sets something down on the night stand and he sees what it is, but cannot fathom why she'd bring it from the bathroom. 

 

He licks his lips, fear a living thing in him now. A pissed off slayer with no moral compunctions about murdering standing over him with a knife in her hand had pretty much dried all the moisture in his mouth up.

 

He was going to try talking her down, but she saw his lips move to form words and she pressed the knife gently against them, cutting off anything he might have said.

 

"Nuh-uh, Lindsey. I gave you a chance and you chose to fuck with my head. Well, now it's time for me to fuck with yours. Does that sound like fun or what?"

 

Then she proceeded to cut the clothes off his body. 

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Black laughter erupted from Lindsey when Faith removed her clothes. He couldn't fucking believe this was happening. He jerked hard on the thin nylon rope that bound him to the headboard, which only served to tighten it until it was digging into his skin.

 

"Just what do you think you're accomplishing here, Faith? In case you hadn't noticed, being tied up doesn't do it for me."

 

She grinned nastily as she picked up the little blur jar, unscrewing the lid as she crawled onto the bed. She forced his legs apart, then pressed her knees down on them to hold them open. Lindsey tried to move but he couldn't.

 

"Uh uh uh, Lindsey. _Don't do that._ I only wanted what you promised me back in your office. I came here thinking maybe you could actually get me off."

 

"Faith," Lindsey softly said. "If you untie me, I'll--"

 

"Oh, no, too late for that. All you can seem to think about is _Angel_. What was it you said?" Faith paused, while Lindsey fought the urge to scream. "Oh, yes. You said _I’d rather be gay._ Isn't that what you said, Lindsey?"

 

Lindsey closed his eyes. "Are you going to kill me? Cut off my dick or what?"

 

She paused in thought. "Ummm..interesting idea," Faith muttered and Lindsey felt like passing out...in fact, he later thought he'd come damn close to it. "But no, I'm not. What would be the fun in that? Well, other than watching you die a slow, painful death. Maybe later, huh?" 

 

She smiled, actually _smiled_ at him. "No, I have something much more illuminating in mind for you. I thought I'd put you in touch with your gay side, since you'd prefer being gay than fucking me."

 

The thought in his head popped out before he could control his mouth. "Oh, did you suddenly grow a dick, Faith?"

 

She laughed and it sent shivers of fear skating along his spine. "Don't need one, Lindsey. I just need _this_." She held up the jar.

 

He frowned. "What the _fuck_ are you gonna do with that?"

 

"Warm you up, Lindsey," Faith drawled, as she slid her finger into the ointment.

 

Her meaning burst in his brain and Lindsey cursed violently.

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

The cursing continued as Faith rubbed the ointment over and around his hole, massaging it in and when it did begin warming the skin there up, Lindsey attempted to buck her off. 

 

Faith only grinned, dug her knees harder into his thighs and re-coated her finger with more of the damn stuff. Lindsey's body clamped down instinctively when she invaded it by inserting it into his rectum.

 

She shook her head and made a tsk, tsk sound. "You're only making it harder on yourself, if you fight it, Lin."

 

Lindsey grit his teeth and tried one last time to reason with the unreasonable. "Faith, what the hell do you hope to accomplish by forcing your way into my ass? This isn't turning me on, you know. Far from it, in fact."

 

Faith just grinned and waited until that tight ring of muscles relaxed as the warmth of the lube she'd chosen worked its way into his skin. The she slid her finger in a little deeper, rubbing in a slow circle, being as gentle as she had the patience for. Because that was a virtue and it was all going to be worth it, when Lindsey finally got the point.

 

Lindsey closed his eyes and tried to be as stoic as he could while being finger-raped by Faith. He wasn't going to beg the bitch to stop, by God! He wondered why he always let his fucking mouth get him into the ugliest situations. If he was so goddamned smart, why the hell did he let his mouth run off like that?

 

Here he was, tied up to his own headboard, while a girl (slayer or not) held him down and Christ, would you just _look_ at what the fuck she was _doing_ to him. It offended Lindsey's sense of self.

 

Faith watched his face and knew he'd went into his own thoughts in avoidance, as a defense tactic. Lindsey wasn't aware of his legs relaxing. Faith removed the finger and added more lube, this time coating two fingers. 

 

She reinserted them and he didn't so much as flinch. She scissored them, stretching him open, rubbing, seeking, inwardly concentrating while she watched that pretty face. A face too pretty for the body to be totally straight, in her opinion.

 

Her fingers just glanced over it, but Faith knew she'd found that spot inside of him when Lindsey sucked his breath in and his body jerked underneath hers. She smiled in triumph and gently ran her fingers back over the little bump.

 

Lindsey shivered and moaned.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

A sheen of sweat popped out over his body and although Lindsey was fighting his damnedest not to respond to Faith's manipulations, it was becoming impossible not to. He couldn't hide his reaction to the pleasure she was inducing inside of him.

 

"Faith, stop," he said raggedly. He was panting harshly and his control was at the breaking point. "Please....stop."

 

Faith whispered, "Doesn't it feel good? Don't you like it?"

 

Lindsey ground his teeth together and his hands clenched into fists. _I hate you, I swear to God. My dick's so fucking hard, you could probably break the damn thing off, but you just HAVE to hear me say it, don't you, you sadistic bitch?_

 

Faith rubbed with a bit more pressure, Lindsey moaned. Hoping she'd stop, if he just admitted it, he licked his lips and said, "Yes. It does, okay?" He flexed his fingers, wishing his hands were around her throat.

 

"You really like it, don't you?" Faith said, rubbing in a wicked circle now.

 

Lindsey couldn't help it. He arched up, began rocking his hips, wanting what she was giving him. " _Yes_ ," he hissed. "Happy now, Faith?"

 

"Almost," she said, watching him undulate for her. He was so damn.....beautiful was the only word Faith could think of to describe him and she got a wicked mental image of what Lindsey and Angel would look like in this situation. 

 

She liked it and out of curiosity, she made her fingers stiff and dragged their entire length against his sweet spot. Lindsey arched up and fuck, was he loud or what? And she was ready to fuck him now, but she had to get one last dig at him in there.

 

"Just imagine what it would feel like if it were Angel inside of you, Lindsey," Faith softly said. She got the answer she sought when Lindsey tightened against her fingers, arched up again and he whimpered.

 

Finally satisfied in her revenge for his cocky attitude earlier, she withdrew her fingers, shifted over his body, worked her way onto his cock and proceeded to screw him until he did, indeed, get her off.

 

Lindsey was only too happy to push up into her as hard as he fucking could.

 

_Anything_ to get that damn image of Angel fucking him out of his head.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Lindsey watched Faith as she got dressed, wondering if she was going to untie him or just leave him laying here like this. But he was, quite frankly, NOT going to ask. She was one scary bitch. 

 

And that was the _last_ time he'd ever insult a woman by telling her he'd rather be gay. 

 

Fucking Faith had been like fucking an animal. A wild animal. He had scratches and bites and marks all over his body. He felt like he'd run a marathon. 

 

But...the image of Angel was gone.

 

For the most part, at any rate.

 

Faith walked over to the bed, knife in hand. She grinned at him, cut the rope, turned around and without a by your leave, merrily left, singing on her way out.

 

_Baby look at me_

_And tell me what you see_

_You ain't seen the best of me yet_

_Give me time I'll make you forget the rest_

_I got more in me_

_And you can set it free_

_I can catch the moon in my hands_

_Don't you know who I am_

_Remember my name_

_I'm gonna live forever_

_I'm gonna learn how to fly_

_I feel it coming together_

_People will see me and cry_

_I'm gonna make it to heaven_

_Light up the sky like a flame_

_I'm gonna live forever_

_Baby remember my name_

 

Lindsey sat up, shaking his head at her choice of songs, looked at the mass of already purpling welts on his body and absently considered the possibility that Faith had done something to Lilah, as well. 

 

He fucking hoped so. She'd beaten Lee right into the hospital. But that was something he'd never know, unless Lilah herself told him because Lindsey decided he'd go to his grave before he told anyone about this shit.

 

Then a thought crossed his mind. 

 

Anyone that damned determined to get revenge for an insult shouldn't have a problem getting rid of that pain in the ass, screw up your perfect court case that was named Angel.

 

Lindsey went about cleaning himself up with a smile on his face.

 

 

****************

 

The next evening, when the guard stopped him to inform him that he had an unexpected visitor in his office, Lindsey had to grin. He was happy to get the best of the vampire, in this, his home away from home.

 

Lindsey often looked back on the encounter with glee, because it was one of the few, if not the only, times he had ever felt like he was dot on his game where that damned vampire was concerned. He kept his cool, matched wits word for word with Angel and his accent stayed hidden.

 

There was only one tiny moment that rang funny. 

 

Just before Angel left, he gave Lindsey a long glance, nose twitching as he picked up his briefcase and he silkily said, "Good to see you again, Lindsey. We'll do this real soon." 

 

Lindsey smirked as Angel walked out. "You know, just when I think I got you figured out, you show up in a suit." 

 

There was no doubt in his mind that Faith would soon take Angel down.


	35. Chapter 33  Consanguinity

  
Author's notes: Lyrics written by Menomegirl  


* * *

Angelus leaned back and just listened. He didn't really care to hear Lindsey's little story, but he loved listening to Lindsey's voice. He loved the velvety richness of it during normal speech, but get the boy aroused and that voice took on a whole new sound. It became rough, raspy, whiskey stripped raw, which sent shivers down the spines of anyone around him. It was addicting, seductive, and mesmerizing. 

 

Not to mention what the boy looked like. Sitting there in nothing more than a pair of threadbare jeans, blue eyes so deep and inviting, lips that just begged to be kissed, hair as soft as silk, long enough to run your hands through. All that luscious tanned skin, that gorgeous hard body, those wicked sexy earrings and when you added that smile that lit up his face...that beautifully expressive face, so rarely open with emotion...it was heart-stopping

 

The hand that was playing in Will’s hair stilled, as realization dawned on him. _Sonofabitch_. Lorne had been right. He was sitting here, staring at Lindsey like some love-struck teenager and practically panting at the sight of his half-naked body. _Fuck_. It just wasn’t right!

 

Lindsey trailed off, all talked out, and watched as Spike licked the remaining blood off of Angel’s hand. Watched as that little pink tongue traced the creases and fangs gently bit at the palm. _When did Spike vamp out,_ he wondered. _Damn, he’s pretty._ His cock twitched and he moved slightly in the chair to find a more comfortable position. He knew that at some point that he and Spike were going to fuck and he was fine with that. 

 

But the more he thought about what was to come, the more anxious he felt. He knew he was going to die tonight, he felt it and he was pretty damn sure Angel did, too. His mind waged war on him and tendrils of fear began snaking their way through his body.

 

Angelus watched the myriad of emotions move across his young lover’s face. He had caught the smell of arousal and looked up to see Lindsey’s intense look at Spike, tracking his every move. But now fear was trying to take over and _that_ Angelus could not allow. 

 

“Lindsey, look at me.” Lindsey looked up at Angel’s softly spoken command. “Sing for me...please”

 

Lindsey looked surprised. “Thought you didn’t like my singing?”

 

Angelus grinned nastily. “No, that would be Angel that didn't like it. He hates it when anybody does something better than him. But _I_ , on the other hand, love to hear you sing.”

 

Lindsey licked his lips. That would work. He always felt calmer when he sang, played his guitar. “Anything special you want to hear?”

 

“Nope. Just want to hear your voice,” Angelus softly replied.

 

“Okay.” Lindsey thought for a second, before letting his gaze rest on Spike, who was resting his head in Angel’s lap, watching him. He remembered a song he had written after Dru saved him and he thought Spike might enjoy hearing it. 

 

He shrugged, went over to his guitar case, opened it, and walked back. He strummed it a few times, humming softly. Then, keeping his eyes pinned to the younger vampire, Lindsey started playing, softly singing, hoping that Spike would get the message, that he was singing this for him.

 

 

_Her lovely eyes are darker than the night_

_She knows things frightening with her sight_

_Maddening scenes and crazy thoughts_

_Ramble through her mind all day_

_Long ago, she lost her soul in a moment of danger_

_Enthralled and embraced in the arms of a dark angel_

_No amount of prayer will ever set her free_

_That’s the way she said things were meant to be_

_Everyone else thinks she’s just insane_

_They act like she ought to be on a chain_

_All tied down and never set free_

_Well, I just can’t see her that way_

_When she smiles,_

_When she smiles,_

_It’s like heaven opened up a door_

_When she laughs,_

_My heart isn’t lonely any more_

_I can see the stars_

_Glowing brightly in her eyes_

_She makes me see_

_Through the veil of their lies_

_When she smiles_

_In her laughter, I hear the sweetness of a child_

_Remember the faith and trust held within a smile_

_When things were simple and our needs were so easily met_

_Before desire and lust turned our hearts as cold as death_

_I wish I could take all her pain away_

_I wish she could walk in the light of day_

_But once you start walking down that path_

_You must continue or face Hell’s burning wrath_

_One day, if you’re patient and the Powers agree_

_Faith will redeem you if you trust what you perceive_

_But those are empty dreams that may never come true_

_For my wonderful, carefree, and beautiful Dru._

_When she smiles,_

_When she smiles,_

_It’s like heaven opened up a door_

_When she laughs,_

_My heart isn’t lonely any more_

_I can see the stars_

_Glowing brightly in her eyes_

_She makes me see_

_Through the veil of their lies_

_When she smiles_

 

 

Again, Angelus didn’t listened to the words, all he wanted was the sound of Lindsey’s voice as he felt the boy relax, felt the fear evaporating with each note. He let the sound soothe own his nerves, smiled as it sent shivers down his spine and felt the slow, sweet warmth spread throughout his body.

 

It seemed to him that as soon as the singing started, it stopped. Angelus opened his eyes to protest but froze as he watched Spike slowly crawl over to Lindsey. He removed the guitar from his hands, set it aside, and gently cupped the young man’s face in his hands and leaned in to kiss him, deep and slow. He watched as Lindsey returned it, his tongue slipping into Spike's mouth to gently duel with him there, a sweet slow passion between the two that stirred Angelus' own.

 

And all Angelus could think was that he wanted to hear that honey-coated Southern drawl whispering in his ear, he wanted that hot, hot mouth on his skin, he wanted those shy, teasing, knowing hands moving on him and he needed to feel that body on his.

 

He wanted.....he wanted... _God, if you don’t make love to me, I think I’m gonna die._ Lindsey broke away from the kiss, the sound of his choked laughter just barely masked. Will jerked his head up to gape at him. _Oh, shit. I didn’t say that out loud, did I?_

 

 

But he could tell by the expressions on their faces as they broke apart that he _had_ said it aloud. Will was shocked, and Lindsey...oh, hell, his smile had gone soft, and Lindsey’s eyes were hot on his, and Angelus knew if he'd had breath in his body, the desire in those blue eyes would have stolen that breath away. 

 

The smile turned into a grin and Lindsey teasingly picked up a honey dipped strawberry, slowly licked at the golden fluid before he bit into it. Angelus hadn’t known until that second that it was possible to envy fruit. 

 

Lindsey slowly licked his lips, blew the vampire a kiss and mouthed, _“Later”_. Angelus made a noise, that even to his own ears sounded like a whimper.

 

“Angelus?” Spike softly said.

 

He turned his attention back to his grandchilde, who he’d nearly forgotten in his reverie over the evil-handed, snarky, teasing little shit, who licked strawberries like it was an art form, for fuck’s sake. Will looked a little wary. Well, he had every right to look wary, not like he was _counting_ or anything but that made three times Will had kissed Lindsey without his grandsire's permission or approval.

 

Angelus looked at him, smiled gently and said, “Yeah, Will, it’s still me.” He turned his hand to look at his palm, which was healed and he realized it had been for a little bit. Belatedly, he became aware that Will had continued nuzzling his hand, even when he could have stopped. 

 

He looked back into Will’s eyes and some of what he was feeling for Lindsey must have transferred into what he felt for Will, because “Thank you, Will.” slipped out before he could stop it.

 

Spike was surprised for a minute, as the gentleness of Angelus' look and his words erased some of the emptiness he’d felt ever since the split with Drusilla. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been thanked by anyone, or looked at with such tenderness. He’d missed it. 

 

And then suddenly, he realized how much vulnerability he was showing to someone he didn’t get on with most of the time. He grinned, then said, “No problem, you big poof.” Angelus smiled back. 

 

Spike turned around, looked up at Lindsey, saw what he was doing and was amused. Desperate to cover that moment of need up, Spike cattily said, “You know, I like sweets as well as the next bloke but that is disgusting, Gingersnap. You look like an ad for a porn movie.”

 

Lindsey stopped mid-lick, raised his eyebrows, sucked the berry into his mouth and bit the strawberry from the stem gently with his teeth, his eyes on Spike the entire time. He chewed the berry, then swallowed it, noting that Spike watched every move he made. He let Spike squirm for a minute under his gaze, glanced up at Angel briefly, just to be sure he hadn’t read things wrong, then Lindsey said, “Your dick doesn’t seem to think it’s disgusting, Spike.” 

 

Looking into the bowl, Lindsey plucked a berry out, stood up and nudged Spike’s legs apart with a bare foot, then gracefully sat down, a leg on either side of Spike’s and he adjusted himself until they were face to face, their bodies only inches apart from full frontal contact. Lindsey looked into Spike’s ice blue eyes, and he took a deep breath. 

 

There were tingles of anticipation running all through him. He was excited, hot and a little afraid, but oh, he so wanted this. It made his skin tingle all over. Vampires. Angel and Spike. A wicked thrill shot through him, and looking up at Angel for reassurance and he couldn’t help the damn blush that came up. 

 

Angel walked over, reached down with his hand to touch a heated cheek, rubbing his thumb over it gently. He grinned, reached over to the table, picked up the bowl of honeyed berries, sat down behind Lindsey, set the bowl on the floor beside them, and wrapped his arms around his lover, placing a kiss on his bare shoulder. “Does that help, lover?” he teasingly said.

 

Lindsey sighed. “Yes, it does,” he whispered back. “I just....wanted to be sure, that’s all.” And then his position between them hit his system, and his arousal shot up. “Fuck,” he muttered. 

 

Angelus chuckled. “This one time only, Lin, just to seal the bonds of family. After that, you’re both off-limits to each other. Understood?”

 

“Yeah, Angel. Just as long as you agree to the same conditions. No Spike for you, either. Agreed?” Lindsey said, aware he’d just dared to set a limit on the head of the order of Aurelius.

 

“Agreed,” Angelus softly said, then snuggled up against Lindsey a little closer.

 

They both looked back at Spike, who was grinning. He softly said, “It’s okay if you don’t want to, baby boy. You won’t offend me or nothin’. But if you’re gonna back out, do it now.” He paused, then quickly added, “As long as I still get to watch.” 

 

Angelus made a sound that sounded like a choked off laugh and Lindsey shook his head no. He said, “I want to, I was just....a little unnerved. And I already told y’all, I’ll show you _baby_.” Spike snorted. 

 

Angelus grinned. This was going to be funny as hell. Spike was going to get the shock of his life, because he was under the mistaken impression that Lindsey was a classic bottom and Angelus knew with no question in his mind whatsoever that the only man Lindsey would ever lay under was him...Angel.... _whatever_. 

 

Angelus hid the laughter he wanted to let lose by purring into Lindsey’s ear, causing the younger man to shiver. Angelus chuckled. _Oh, yeah. Spike was going to be under Lindsey before he knew what hit him._

 

Lindsey licked his lips and whispered, “Close your eyes, Spike.” Spike shrugged and did as requested. Lindsey whispered, “Open your mouth.” Spike looked like he wanted to laugh, but he did it. “Umm...that’s good,” Lindsey softly said. “Now, gimme a little tongue, darlin’.” 

 

Spike’s eyebrows shot up and his eyelids twitched. “Keep your eyes closed, Spike. C’mon, lemme see that pink little tongue, hmm? Oh, yeah,” Lindsey said as the vampire did it, still looking like he was on the verge of laughter. 

 

Lindsey grinned wickedly at Angel, then placed the honey-coated strawberry on Spike’s tongue. “Now, lick it,” Lindsey instructed. 

 

Spike uttered an unintelligible sound. “Go ahead, it’s good, I promise,” Lindsey said. Spike sighed and slowly lapped at the honey on his tongue. “Let the flavor roll around in your mouth a few seconds,” Lindsey said. He watched Spike’s face intently. “Taste good?”

 

Spike whispered, “Yes.” Lindsey pressed the strawberry against Spike’s lips, teasing him with it. “Now, Spike, I need you to suck it in,” Lindsey urged. 

 

This time a soft moan came out of the vampire, before he inhaled the berry, gently cutting off the stem with his teeth, the way Lindsey had earlier. His lips closed over the berry and Lindsey scooted just a tad closer, leaned in and whispered into his ear, “Chew it slowly, Spike. Savor the taste, let it roll over your palate until there’s nothing in the world but the flavor of that berry.” 

 

As Spike chewed, Lindsey slid the vampire’s t-shirt over his head, leaving Spike as bare-chested as he was. Lindsey leaned back against Angel, fingers grazing up Spike’s chest, softly sliding over his nipples. Spike moaned and shivered. Angel grinned wider. “Swallow it, Spike,” Lindsey whispered. 

 

Spike complied and Lindsey said, “Yeah, like that. Keep your eyes closed, don’t open them yet.” His hands continued the soft exploration of Spike’s upper body. “Umm....your body is so perfectly sculpted, Spike. I just wanna lose myself in it.” 

 

Spike groaned at the mental image in his head. “Oh, yeah, love that sound,” Lindsey said, mouth directly hovering just a hair’s breath from touching Spike’s. “Tell me, Spike, what do you taste now?”

 

Spike very softly replied, “Candied apples.” 

 

Lindsey said, “Yeah, that’s it,” then kissed Spike, invading his mouth with his tongue, conquering the conqueror before he even knew what the hell happened. They both softly moaned.

 

Angelus smiled. This was worth all the amazed and amused looks he’d received from the bleached blond menace all fucking day.


	36. Chapter 34  Resonance

  
Author's notes: Due to creative differences, KiniP and I are no longer writing together, but are agreed _Burning Imprints_ needs to be completed. So, to this end, I have asked another author to write with me. I chose Strangecreature because I love her work so. This chapter was written by strangecreature and I, she has my entire outline and most likely will finish it out with me. Those of you who are reading, we appreciate your patience with us and please enjoy as we add to it.   


* * *

Spike's survival instincts were still screaming at him for having the nerve to touch something...someone...who so obviously belonged to the patriarch, but that prickling edge of danger only made it that much sweeter when Lindsey's tongue slid over his own, exploring his mouth. God, the boy tasted so good. 

 

Spike wanted to stay like this for hours, if they'd let him, just devouring that delicious, divinely hot mouth. He ran his hands along Lindsey's thighs, warm even through the denim of his jeans, and up the smooth planes of his stomach, until his fingers came into contact with Angelus' arms, still locked possessively around the boy. Spike groaned, breaking the kiss and allowing Lindsey to draw a gasping breath. 

 

He opened his eyes and... _oh, bloody Hell_. Angelus was smirking at him, pressing a lazy kiss against Lindsey's shoulder. Spike found himself nearly wilting under the heat of their combined gaze. Such beautiful men, and so lovely together. It almost made Spike feel a bit...lonely. Odd man out. 

 

_Well, if I'm never going to have him again, I'd better damn well make this count._ He wriggled forward, and Lindsey met him halfway, his mouth over Spike's and his hands locked in his hair. Spike let his fingers skim over Angelus' arms, the cool skin almost shocking after the heat of Lindsey's body and then higher, back to the sensual warmth of the boy's chest. 

 

_Likes a bit of pain, does he?_ Spike found Lindsey's nipple, rolling it under the pad of his thumb, before flicking his nail over the hardening bud, craving a reaction. Lindsey gasped into the kiss, his fingers tightening in Spike's hair. Fighting back a grin, Spike closed his fingers over the sensitive skin, and pinched, just lightly. To his surprise, Lindsey broke the kiss with a hiss, pulling Spike's head to the side and _dragging_ his tongue roughly over the wound Angelus had given him earlier. 

 

"Soddin' Hell, Gingersnap," Spike growled, shocked at erotic rush that went through him. The white-noise whoosh in his ears sounded like delighted laughter, and he fought to keep from simply grinding his body against Lindsey's shamelessly. He pulled back, struggling for some degree of composure and the faintest blush was rising in Lindsey's cheeks, making him look positively edible. 

 

"Sorry," Lindsey offered sheepishly. 

 

Spike blinked at him in surprise, glancing over his shoulder at Angelus, who looked amused. Lindsey still hadn't caught on to the inevitable pull of _family_ blood. Still thinking like a human. Spike tilted his head, raising an eyebrow. "No, you're not." 

 

Lindsey leaned back into Angelus' grip with a shrug, the beginning of a wicked smile playing at the corners of his mouth. "No. I'm not." 

 

And then he pounced, and Spike found himself being kissed nearly senseless, lost in the heat and almost uncontrollable _want_ as Lindsey closed the last bit of distance between them. Lindsey's denim clad hardness was brought into sizzling contact with Spike's and when he felt one of Angelus' hands come up to playfully stroke the length of his throat, Spike couldn't hold back a whimper of need. This was something primal, and powerful, and _real_...and this was why the cavemen would _always_ win. 

 

Whatever shyness or hesitancy Lindsey had earlier felt evaporated like mist at the sound of Spike's need and something in Lindsey responded to it. Ignoring his always overactive mind, he let instinct take over, losing whatever inhibitions remained as the taste of honey and berries, still strong in Spike's mouth, flooded his senses. His hips tilted, his cock sliding a slow, measured stroke along Spike's, creating a delicious friction that sent shock waves of pleasure coursing through Lindsey's body. 

 

Which, in turn, caused the vampire beneath him to moan into the kiss and match Lindsey's movements, the younger man's hips moving in response. The air filled with the raw, harsh, echoing moans of pure _need_ torn out of the young mortal, the sound bringing forth the inherent nature of both sire and child and it became a slow dance of sorts, the cool hand of Angelus never leaving either one of them for very long. Stroking and petting Spike, soothing Lindsey and taking him higher, making him burn. Controlling one, while encouraging the other. 

 

Unchecked hunger raged within Lindsey as his hands began seeking skin, exploring and memorizing the skin they came in contact with, hot, lingering caresses over the firm, tight, cool body of the younger vampire. Touch that had them both arching into the other, as sensitive places were found and exploited. Lindsey's nails finding and flicking over Spike's nipples, hardened little nubs that he rolled between his fingers, wanting to be tasting, biting at them and he leaned forward, taking Spike's mouth in a heated kiss, absorbing the sounds the vampire was making. 

 

"Up, now," Angelus growled suddenly, "Both of you." 

 

Lindsey found himself stumbling to his feet at the command, pulling Spike up with him, despite the sensation that his legs had turned to jelly at some point. Lindsey gasped as Angel mouthed his throat, teasing with blunt human teeth, just hard enough to sting, while Spike dragged his tongue over Lindsey's collarbone, tasting him. He groaned, shuddering between them, his hands finding purchase on Spike's hips to keep from sliding back to the floor. 

 

"Why are we standing?" he managed, between ragged breaths. Spike's tongue was spiraling over his nipple, his fingers busy with the button of Lindsey's jeans. "Oh, Christ..." He could _feel_ Angel smirk against his throat. "Because I can tell you this is going to be a hell of a lot more enjoyable in a bed." 

 

Angelus leaned in close, brushing Lindsey's hair back to whisper right in his ear. "Think you can last that long, lover?" He caught Lindsey's earring in his teeth, tugging just lightly before suckling on the lobe. Lindsey groaned, his body trying to press into Spike's touch and lean back against Angelus all at once. 

 

"Well, _I_ might not, if you two keep that up," Spike laughed, his voice gone low and breathy. He slipped his fingers through Lindsey's belt-loops, tugging him close after a quick glance at Angelus. "Let's go." 

 

Angelus' grip on Lindsey automatically tightened as he felt his lover being pulled away from him but he relinquished his hold with a muted growl when Spike moved to pull Lindsey towards the bedroom. The three made their way over in a shuffling tangle, nobody willing to release anyone else entirely, trading heated, careless kisses as they went. 

 

Lindsey was the safety zone between the two vampires, his body heating the cool skin around him and allowing for inadvertent touches despite an age-old grudge. But somewhere just inside the door, Angelus reached around to pull Spike to him, kissing him hard and passionately. Spike stared at him for a half-second, gasping despite himself and feeling for all the world like a fledge again, dazzled and in love with the beautiful monsters all around him. 

 

The heady scent of sex and blood was thick in the bedroom, enough to distract him and decide that any such whimsical thoughts would have to be saved for another, less interesting time. Which was a good thing, because Lindsey chose that moment to give him a quick shove, sending him toppling onto the mattress, flat on his back. 

 

Lindsey grinned down at him, wicked fire in his eyes. "Don't you look sexy all sprawled out and waiting for us," he teased. He crawled onto the bed, straddling Spike's waist and twisting to beckon to Angel. "C'mere, baby. I'm ready to play." 

 

Angelus grinned at Lindsey calling _him_ baby. Such eager puppies they were, in bed half-clothed. He shook his head at them, then began unbuttoning his shirt, gaining their undivided attention as the silk shirt parted with each button undone, brief glimpses of the pale, smooth expanse of his chest. Lindsey's expression showed clear amusement, even as his eyes were eating him up. The ice-blue color in Spike's eyes darkened into something Angelus hadn't seen...hadn't _felt_...in a very long time. _A sense of family_. 

 

They watched as the silk slid to the floor, hungry eyes following the motions the older vampire made as he shed the leather pants, tossing a small knife and a tiny vial filled with black fluid onto the bed, then climbing onto the bed himself, movements slow and exaggerated. Lindsey was smirking at the deliberate way Angel moved...almost as if he were stalking them.

 

He lost the smirk when Angel's hand came up and the knife flicked open in front of the younger man's face. "First things first, lover," Angelus said, then without pause smoothly lowered the sharp little knife to cut a crude facsimile of a cross into the skin under Spike's left nipple. Blood welled up from the small but deep wound. "Do it now, Lindsey, while the blood flows."

 

Spike hissed, squirming as the stinging pain from the cut began to ache, then _burn_ , sizzling like acid on his skin. Lindsey looked back and forth between the two vampires, opening his mouth to say something but Spike cut him off with a ragged, "Lindsey, _please_!" 

 

Resolve settling over his features, Lindsey leaned down over Spike's body, lowering his head to tentatively lap at the droplets spilling down Spike's chest. The vampire's skin was _hot_ under his tongue and Lindsey found himself helplessly drawn to the wound, pressing his mouth against the cut with a muffled groan, his eyes falling shut. 

 

Spike echoed the sound, the boy's tongue and lips soothing the fire, making him writhe when Lindsey began to _drink_ , suckling the blood with a stifled sound of pure need. Lindsey's hand came up to latch onto Spike's shoulders, holding him still, his nails digging in. Spike arched up underneath him, striving for some friction, spiraling rapidly out of control as Lindsey worried the already healing wound with his teeth. 

 

Angelus leaned over them both, almost fondly stroking Lindsey's hair as he drank, his smile wicked and pleased. "There's my good boy," he murmured, draping himself over Lindsey's back and dragging his own nails down Spike's sides, smirking at the younger vampire's desperate whimper. 

 

_This is too much fun,_ he mused. _Damn good thing **I** don't have a happiness clause to worry about_ , he thought as he pulled Lindsey away from Spike's chest, ignoring the groan of protest from both of them. Reaching out to worry the wound open again, then tipping the contents of the small vial over the bleeding cut, which began to smoke from the mixture of India ink, holy water, and mystical ingredients.

 

Spike said, "You bastard," through teeth clenched from the pain. 

 

"Work the ink in, Lindsey," Angelus said, smiling down at Spike, quite enjoying the sight of the younger vampire in pain as his lover tentatively began to work the black, smoking ink into Spike's skin and he decided to move this along a bit faster. Running his right hand down the tanned skin of his lover, he winked at his grandchilde as Lindsey gasped and ground his hips against Spike as Angel pulled, twisted at a nipple. 

 

_I shouldn't be enjoying this so much,_ Lindsey decided deliriously. The holy symbol smoldered on Spike's skin, almost burning Lindsey's fingers as the dark ink was forced into the cuts. _I'm not a sadist..._ Then again, Spike didn't seem about to complain any time soon, if the way his hips bucked up uncontrollably at every sizzling touch was any indication. And Lindsey could certainly see the appeal of a little bit of pain, if it was done right. At the moment, Angelus' fingers against his chest, cruel and clever, fell into the category of 'done _very_ right'. 

 

Spike was taking noisy, unneeded breaths as the make-shift tattoo began to heal over, his head back against the pillow. Angelus pulled Lindsey's hand away to scrutinize the mark. "Good boy," he repeated approvingly, laughter in his voice. He ran his thumb over the tattoo and their skin hissed at the contact of sacred and unholy. Spike echoed the sound with a hiss of his own, his throat bared.

 

"This one's for keeps, Will," Angelus told him. He rewarded Lindsey with a playful, harmless bite against the side of his throat, laughing when the young man groaned and rocked against Spike's body. "You're always going to feel it. It's going to sting and ache and tease you like a _soul_. And every time you feel it, you're going to remember where you belong. Who you belong _to_. Isn't that right?"

 

It wasn't hard to see that Angel and Angelus were just different sides of the same coin. No matter what the situation, the guy adored to hear himself talk. Never mind that the words in question had sent a thrill of inexplicable jealousy coursing through Lindsey. Something so very permanent, like a scar that wouldn't fade with time...God, he _wanted_ that! 

 

But for now, scars would have to serve. Spike's stare had locked on him again, hungry and fierce. "Your turn, pretty. Long past due time I had a taste of you..." Spike trailed off as Lindsey almost unconsciously brought his hand up, still wet with Spike's blood and slipped a finger into his mouth, his eyes half closing with pleasure. " _Oh. Fuck. Me._ "

 

"All part of the plan, Spike," Angelus quipped, smirking as he pulled Lindsey's hand to his own mouth for a taste. As the spilled droplets disappeared between them, licking turned into a heated kiss and Spike had to groan, not wanting to blink. Between the siren-call of Lindsey's blood and his own achingly hard erection, Spike was growing nearly frantic. 

 

"Right, _threesome_ here, boys," he reminded them. _Patience_ , he decided, working down thezip of Lindsey's denims, _is a perfectly pointless virtue_. 

 

Angelus chuckled into the kiss and broke away from Lindsey, noting the hazy look in his eyes and smiled. Playfully nipping at his lover's throat again, he took one of Lindsey's hands, placed it on Spike's stomach and said, "Go ahead, Lindsey. We're all family here, after all," then he moved just a little to the side, his hands petting Lindsey while they disrobed, holding Spike's gaze with feral eyes and a cruel little smile the younger vampire had no trouble deciphering.

 

He'd seen it before. They might be family but there was no doubt in Spike's mind who Lindsey belonged to, he could see the warning in the yellow tinge of his grandsire's eyes as Lindsey's body lay back over him, his hot human skin seeming to brand Spike wherever it touched. The rocking, the need to taste the promise of Lindsey's blood soon became too much for him and Spike licked his lips and softly said, "Angelus...please."

 

The older vampire smiled and urged Lindsey back between Spike's legs, tiny smile of satiation at the wanton picture his grandechild was presenting, shaking his head at Lindsey and with a flick of the tiny knife over his own palm, a soft groan from Spike as Lindsey winced, he gave them the only lube needed: his blood-slick hand around Lindsey, coating his erection with the thick, dark fluid while Spike's eyes took on a tinge of yellow, as well.

 

The younger vampire reached out then, pulled Lindsey forward and it was with Angelus whispering into his ear that Lindsey slid his body into Spike's, pushing his way past the painfully tight ring and into the silken depth beyond, his eyes closed, teeth clenched, air hissing out in an almost growl at the feeling, the hand of his lover soothing circles into his back as Spike arched up and Lindsey was buried fully within him. 

 

Lindsey found himself gasping like there wasn't enough air left in the room. Maybe there wasn't...just the thick scent of sex and lust and heat, and the sharp metallic tang of blood, which he _shouldn't_ be able to smell so distinctly. Certainly shouldn't leave his mouth watering like this...

 

But Angel's hands were on Lindsey's hips, so damn strong and insistent, taking charge of things and forcing a slow, deep rhythm that left Lindsey struggling for a scrap of control. Angel's cool skin was a pleasant sensory-shock all along his back, the persistent slide of his cock over Lindsey's ass, _teasing teasing teasing_. He was losing himself in the dizziness of too much sensation, the grind of Spike's hips as he strained for more, Angel's tongue running from shoulder, to throat, to Lindsey's ear, where he finally bit down. 

 

"Angel!" Lindsey groaned as desire, pure _fire_ raced up his spine from the contact, coupled with a burning need to feel the pained sucking sensation of Angel's fangs.

 

"'Gelus," Spike corrected, his voice a husky rasp. 

 

Lindsey shook his head, sweat forming on his brow at the forced languid pace. "Gonna argue semantics at...Christ, Angel, _please_!...at a time like this, Spike?" 

 

"You're _insane_." There was something like reluctant awe in Spike's tone and his eyes were glassy with need. "Harder. C'mon, give it to me...you're so hot, so hard for us. Lemme _feel_ you fuck me, boy, pound me, break me, _c'mon!_ " 

 

"Spike's always had a filthy mouth on him." Angel's low voice right next to Lindsey's ear made him shudder. "Personally, I like it best when he screams." 

 

Spike's answering growl was one of pure frustration and he writhed under them, sending shockwaves of pleasure through Lindsey as Spike tightened around his cock. Angelus smirked wickedly over Lindsey's shoulder, releasing his hold on the younger man's hip and guiding his lover's hand to Spike's straining erection. "Lindsey's been a good influence on me, Spike...I won't make you beg for it. Not after you asked so nice." 

 

Spike's head went back as he _arched_ into Lindsey's hand, deliciously responsive to the slightest touch. Long years with Angelus as his mentor had taught him to savor what he was given. 

 

Seizing that slight bit of freedom, Lindsey thrust hard into Spike's tight body, spirals of pleasure growing more and more intense, the heat building unbearably in the pit of his stomach. He almost whimpered with frustration when Angel's hand tightened around the back of his neck, making him wait. 

 

"You want me inside you, lover? Want to feel what Spike's feeling right now?" Angel's voice was low and teasing when he added, "Hell, I bet could make you _both_ scream. Bet you'd like that, wouldn't you, Lindsey?"

 

Lindsey's voice was smooth, raw honey as he answered, "Yesss..." 

 

"Yes, what?" Angel prompted. 

 

Lindsey's upper lip twitched and he all but growled, "Yes, _now_!"

 

Spike gave a breathless, delighted laugh as Angelus took hold of Lindsey's hair with a growl of his own, angling his head roughly for a brutal kiss. Once upon a time, an answer like that would've earned one of Angelus' pets a week in chains. Maybe the boy was a good influence after all. 

 

Lindsey moaned into the kiss, the sound resonating in his chest and the vampire felt it keenly, even as Lindsey kissed him back, as harsh and hard, giving as good as he was getting and it was _only_ the sound of his madly pumping heart that once again made the vampire move things along at a faster pace than he'd have otherwise allowed.

 

A twist of his hips and he was pressing, sliding inside Lindsey, the dark part of his mind reveling in the momentary sound of distress from Lindsey, in the gasp of surprise at the invasion as skin caught, dragged, opened for him with nothing more than the pressure of his cock, the tight, silky heat encasing him, in deep contrast to the coldness he lived with and something sparked in his mind when he realized Lindsey hadn't broken away from the kiss, had deepened it, in fact.

 

A rumbling, purring noise emanated from Angel and Lindsey's husky voice faintly echoed it, the combination of sound arousing memories in Spike and for the first time in well over a century, the younger vampire felt a sense of _home_ , of _family_ , that was stronger, deeper than any he'd ever known. The sound of them brought something missing back to him and for the first time, since he'd fought in a cave, tormented and torn over the essential difference between good and evil and his own nature, his soul felt like it _belonged_ in his body.

 

He didn't have time to think about it, however, for Angelus chose that moment to rock his hips forward, pressing into Lindsey, the weight of both their bodies sending Lindsey's cock deeper into him and Spike's back bowed, his ass leaving the bed as he surged upwards, a soft keening moan rising from him that made his grandsire nip at Lindsey's mouth, pulling away to look down and see the reaction to the two of them on his grandchilde's face.

 

Lindsey's eyes remained closed for a minute, as heat raced through his body, the blood pounded in his veins and he felt as if he were drugged, so heavy was the desire for this...for Angel...for _all of this_...in his heart, his mind, his soul and he knew then that _this_ was always meant to be and his new-found love for Angel, his hopes and his dreams became a solid core within him. When he opened his eyes at the touch of his lover's hands, Spike saw something in them that had been absent earlier, although he couldn't put a name to what the _something_ was...and then there was no longer time for any thought at all as Angelus winked down at Spike and the two of them began to move, Lindsey's body caught in between them.


	37. Chapter 35  Convergence

* * * * * 

 

Wesley shook his head slowly. "I don't understand. If his soul is intact, how can he be _Angelus_?"

 

A collective sigh went up from the group gathered in front of his desk, and Gunn ran his palm over his head. "Quit trying to wrap your brain around it, Wes. Just believe us." 

 

"It's one of life's great mysteries," Lorne added helpfully. "Like Stonehenge or Donald Trump's hair." 

 

Wesley blinked, before beginning to shake his head again. Eve let out a huff of impatience and planted her hands on his desk, leaning on it and _glaring_. 

 

"It doesn’t matter _how_ it's happening," she sounded out. "All that matters now is _why_. That 'why' is Lindsey, and if you boys stand here gossiping, we're going to have one more vampire scampering around the place to deal with." 

 

She paused, letting that sink in before adding quietly, "I don't want to be the one who has to put a stake through Lindsey's heart." There was an edge of quiet desperation to her voice, but her eyes were cold. 

 

"I'll drink to that," Lorne muttered. "Heck, a stiff drink sounds pretty good right now, doesn't it?" 

 

Wesley got to his feet, pulling open a desk drawer and pocketing a vial of holy water. "Nobody will be doing any drinking, nor staking." 

 

He moved to unlock the cabinet next to his bookshelf, removing a scroll and turning to them with a determined expression. "It seems we've an evil lawyer to rescue."

 

 

* * * * * *

 

 

Lindsey didn't care if he ever left this room again. 

 

It was the same fire in his blood he'd felt during that first kiss with Angel, the same conviction that life could simply not get any better than this. All he could do was gasp for breath and try to hang on for One. More. Minute.

 

But Angel's tongue was against his shoulder as his hips set a pace just too agonizingly slow to drive them over the edge, murmuring wicked endearments into Lindsey's ear, and there was no way Lindsey was going to last. 

 

But damned if he was going to beg for it just yet. He set his teeth against his lip with a stubborn growl, watching as a bead of sweat fell from his forehead onto Spike's chest as the vampire arched beneath him, blue eyes half-shut with pleasure. _God_. Okay, yeah, begging just might be on the menu within a couple more minutes.

 

As if reading his thoughts, Angelus slowed his thrusts, the head of his cock rubbing against Lindsey's prostate and making him shake. "You want this, don't you, Lin? Go on and tell me how much..."

 

Lindsey nodded mutely, a little bit frantically, and Angelus nipped his throat lightly in punishment. "No, no, no, baby... you've got such a pretty voice. Let me _hear_ it." 

 

Lindsey closed his eyes, licked his lips and shivering between the two vampires, the heady perfume of lust rolling off his body in waves as that whiskey-rich voice softly said, "Want this..." 

 

"You can do better than that. Don't you think he can do better, Spike?" Angelus purred against Lindsey's skin, smiling wickedly, teasingly down at the younger vampire, slowing his pace to almost nothing and making Spike moan in protest. 

 

"If you don't tell him, Gingersnap," Spike warned in a growl, "I _will_." 

 

Lindsey made a noise of frustration, gritting his teeth... yet couldn't help but respond. " _Please_ , Angel. Come on, please, I want this... want you..." 

 

"Now we're getting somewhere," Angelus chuckled, rewarding him with a hard, fast grind of his hips that drew a strangled yell from Lindsey. "More."

 

"Want you to fuck me... harder," Lindsey panted, letting the words pour from him, only hesitating a split second before he added, "Angelus... please." 

 

Spike’s grin was manic. He canted his hips up as Lindsey pounded into him, clearly enjoying the man's words as much as Angelus was. "Fuck me, bite me, make me yours..." 

 

That actually drew a low groan from Angelus. "Bite you, huh, Lin?" He dragged his blunt human teeth playfully over Lindsey's skin. "Want to feel my fangs in your throat when I make you come? Want us to _feed_ on you, boy?" 

 

"Yes, fuck yes, want that," Lindsey groaned, the aroma of every desire in his body wafting out of his pores as he moved between Angelus and Spike, a mixture of heated sex, love, need, the blood in his body that called to them like the song of a siren and the final surrender of a willing victim. 

 

Spike looked up at the two of them as his grandsire made that infernal purring noise against Lindsey's bared throat, that sound he'd once loved so much and had rarely received, wishing it was _him_ held so close to that mouth. 

 

These two _fit_ together in a way that Darla and Angelus never had and the sight of them made that nagging memory/vision/sense that had been in his head all day loom large, but there was no time to stop and think about it now. "'Gelus, we really going to do this?" Spike softly asked.

 

Angelus licked at the pulse point beating wildly under his tongue, the scent of his lover's emotions affecting him, calling so strongly to the demon that it began to erode his common sense and he knew it, felt it, fought a brief war within himself. But his own feelings for Lindsey proved deeper than blood-lust, than the need to take what Lindsey was so openly offering them: his own death. 

 

And between one blink and the next, like he had so many times before where this one mortal was concerned, Angelus backed off, retreating before the soul that he had come to live with for the sake of what he knew must be and the hand that reached out to Spike was his no longer. 

 

Lindsey didn't detect the change, of course...might not have noticed it at all, if he hadn't seen the look on Spike's face. The vampire's eyes widened briefly in surprise and a bit of confusion as Angel's thumb slid over Spike’s cheek in a soft caress. 

 

"Just like that?" Spike asked. 

 

Spike had been expecting a bit more of a show; sparkly lights and anguished gasps and red-hot pain, if his own experiences with the coming and going of souls were anything to judge by, but there was next to nothing, just the softening of that damned smirk to something more gentle and a brief glow in his grandsire's pupils that he might have imagined. 

 

"Just like that," Angel replied quietly, smiling against Lindsey's throat. 

 

"Just like what?" Lindsey demanded, soft growl to his voice, a dangerous edge to the sound, frustrated beyond belief at yet another change of pace.

 

 

* * * * * *

 

 

The silent alarm that fed through Harmony's desk and into Angel's office went off as she was browsing her favorite website, looking to find the rare crystal unicorn forged in another dimension that she had heard only vague rumors about. 

 

Lazily, she reached over, flicking the button off and disabling the security system, whispering, "Pretty boys playing in the night," without a thought or glance before she resumed her search for the perfect symbol of freedom, her eyes glazed and unfocused.

 

 

* * * * * *

 

"What the hell are you two going on about now?" Lindsey said, turning his head to glare at Angel and was met with a kiss, intimate and so familiar that it took his breath away. "Oh," he remarked, when Angel let him breathe again. "Well. That works too. Now will you _please_ get on with fucking me already?" 

 

"Talk, talk, talk, talk..." Angel murmured, his hand falling away from Spike's face. "Always words with you, Lindsey," he teased, teeth closing on Lindsey's earlobe hard enough to draw a gasp, fingers closing on the curve of Lindsey's hips, grinding into him with a wicked twisting motion. "Think we could shut him up, Spike?" 

 

Spike smiled at the use of that name, his bright blue eyes dancing in merriment as he replied, "Bloody damn right, we could, Peaches. Drive him right over the edge."

 

Lindsey rolled his eyes, muttered something along the lines of 'like to see you _try_ ', rocking back into Angel's thrusts with a force that belied his control, forward into Spike and any further comments were reduced to wordless noises when Angel reached down to pull Spike's hips up, impaling him deeper on Lindsey's cock. The younger vampire moaned, bucked up underneath the two of them and Lindsey's eyes drifted shut as he whimpered. 

 

Angel smiled, teeth an insistent press against Lindsey's throat now, teasing them both as he suckled the heated skin, bringing the blood to the surface. Lindsey's head fell back, breath a stuttering exhalation, his heart racing, jagged sparks of arousal setting him on fire as the muted sound of Angel shifting into game face behind him and the nuzzle of hard ridges across his shoulder blade sent shivers coursing over his skin. 

 

"Do it...God, Angel, please, **do it**..." Lindsey begged, breathless, past caring now, the sound of his voice shaky, raw with need, his hands tugging feverishly at Spike's shoulders, pulling him up and groaning at the shift of bodies, baring his neck to Spike even as the demon rolled to the surface, blue eyes melting into amber. "C'mon, please."

 

Spike flicked his eyes away from the seductive sight of Lindsey, met Angel's hard stare and nodded his head once at the permission and the clear warning in that look, then bent his head to first nuzzle at the fragrant, heated length of the column of Lindsey's throat, his tongue licking at the pulsebeat racing under the young man's jaw and the fingers clutching Spike's shoulders dug in deeper, nails popping through the surface of skin as Lindsey's breathing grew ragged and reedy.

 

Angel softly growled, his hands tightened on Lindsey's hips, holding them all suspended in the eerie quiet depth of the moment as the younger vampire reigned in the savage need to take what Lindsey was offering them, moving on with a soft sigh only Angel heard. Confining himself to just lick along Lindsey's shoulder, stopping and grazing his fangs 

gently against the heated, lust perfumed skin, Spike’s eyes drifted closed at the purring sound of his grandsire's approval.

 

The hunger for the vampires to take him fed into Lindsey's bloodstream, releasing adrenalin into his system. The scent of blood and sex was thick in the air, more than either Angel or Spike could withstand. Lindsey's world was reduced to nothing but the call of mate to mate, family to family, in that sweet, painfully piercing second fangs popped through skin.

 

He began to keen at the sucking pull of blood, heat flooding through him in a wave as his body surrendered to it. It felt like falling, every nerve-ending screaming to life, every touch amplified until Lindsey thought that he couldn't take another second of the exquisite torture without dying. 

 

As if reading his thoughts, Spike's grip on Lindsey tightened, the pull intensifying until Lindsey's fingertips tingled with the shock. His hips snapped forward almost uncontrollably, before grinding back onto Angel's cock, his heartbeat stuttering. He could barely hear his own whispered litany of feverish pleas and curses over the pounding in his ears. 

 

Lindsey's blood alone was ambrosia, Spike decided giddily but combined with the sweet burn of lust from the boy, the thrill of finally _finally_ sharing a mortal's bed with his grandsire again, and Lindsey's cock pounding into him, hard and hot... well, who the bloody hell cared if they were damned creatures? This was Heaven, right here in this room. 

 

The boy's movements were growing more sporadic by the second, his hips snapping, hard and quick as he neared the edge and the younger vampire's erection slid over Lindsey's abs with every grinding thrust, but Spike needed _more_ , forcing himself to release his vise-grip on the boy's shoulder to take his straining cock in hand. 

 

A small whimper of need escaped him, but Spike was sure it had been muffled against the hot flesh of Lindsey's throat and there wasn't much surprise when one of Angel's hands let loose the grip on his lover's hips and touched his head, gently forcing his mouth away from Lindsey's throat, despite the protests from both Spike and Lindsey at the loss of contact.

 

The younger vampire _was_ surprised however, when Angel's thumb once again rubbed along his cheek and his eyes opened in that surprise, just in time to see Angel's fangs retract, hear the growl rumbling through Lindsey's chest, watch Angel lick lazily at the seeping puncture wounds, his eyes still glowing gold as he opened them to look down into Spike's demonic visage, his voice soft, yet commanding as his fingers nudged Spike toward his inner wrist, saying, "Go ahead, _beag ceann_. Complete the circle."

 

 

* * * * * *

 

"Not to be all grr-Alpha-male here," Gunn commented to Wesley under his breath, "But I never thought I'd see the day that a pretty little thing like _her_ would have me watching my back." 

 

On the way out of the Wesley's office, Gunn had mistakenly believed that the shine in Eve's eyes were tears of loss and frustration. But he'd realized his error soon enough: it was battle fire he was seeing. The girl wasn't planning on losing lawyer-boy without a fight. Gunn thought perhaps he could respect that, but _damn_. It was very unnerving. 

 

Harmony, on the other hand, refused to so much as look up from her computer screen, even as Eve's questions and threats grew increasingly strident. "If you’re _ignoring_ me, vampire..."

 

"Wait," Wesley interrupted quietly, his gaze fixed on Harmony. He moved forward, taking them all by surprise as he lightly slapped Harmony's cheek, provoking a reaction in the form of a startled "Oh!" 

 

Harmony blinked before looking up at them with a smile. "Hi! Didn't see you there. What's up?" she greeted them, smiling at Fred, who was frowning at her.

 

"Are you alright, Harmony?" Fred asked, confusion coloring the warm brown in her eyes. The blond vampire looked as though nothing had happened.

 

"Well, I could use a raise, maybe a pint or two of O-neg, but other than that, I'm fine," Harmony replied. "What's up? I'm very busy, you know."

 

Gunn felt his jaw clench instinctively. He'd seen this sort of thing more times than he wanted to remember. 

 

"Under a thrall," Wesley murmured, voicing Gunn's thoughts exactly, and Fred's expression cleared in understanding. "Now who on earth...?" 

 

Eve emitted a low growl of frustration and elbowed her way past Wesley once more. "Lindsey. Where is he?" she snapped. 

 

"Cool it, Miss Bossy," Harmony chided, making a face. "He's upstairs with the boss and Spike. Oh, hey! Wait, guys... you really don’t want to go up there right now!" 

 

But they were already heading towards Angel's office and the elevator that led to his rooms, Eve leading the way and Lorne morosely bringing up the rear. 

 

"Fine. Your mental trauma," Harmony grumped, returning to her browsing. "Take a Polaroid for me."

 

 

* * * * * *

 

Lindsey's eyes opened at Angel's words and Spike smiled, for once not irritated by the endearment. His tongue licked at Angel's skin, the purring noise the older vampire made in response resonating all along Lindsey's back. 

 

The groan arising from all three of them was harsh, grating as Spike's fangs sank deep into his grandsire's offered wrist at the same second Angel's fangs slid back into Lindsey's shoulder and his hips began slamming into Lindsey with a relentlessness force, the weight of his body bearing down on them. 

 

The sound Lindsey made was garbled as he inhaled deeply, nails digging deep into Spike's skin before dragging sharply downward and all he was aware of in the short seconds before he came was the sucking pull of Angel's fangs and the inhuman, crushing force of being between the two of them as their hips moved. 

 

White noise filled his head, swiftly followed by so much heat, he felt as if he were burning from the inside out and the edges of his world grayed, dancing on black as pulse after surging pulse racked his body.

 

Both Angel and Spike were caught up in the implosion of Lindsey's release, the younger vampire pulling away from his grandsire's wrist with a low keening noise as Lindsey's nails raked down his back, bucking up underneath them even as the cool touch of his own seed spilled in the tight embrace.

 

Angel's fangs retracted, his mouth closed over the wound and he continued sucking until his climax approached and he wrenched his mouth away, emitting a drawn-out, unearthly howl of dominance as it broke over him.

 

 

* * * * * *

 

"Uh, anyone else hear that?" Lorne commented tentatively. He lagged behind the others as the group headed into Angel's office, despite Eve's terse orders to 'move it, people'.

 

"What manner of 'that'?" Wesley asked, sparing Lorne a glance. The demon shook his head and stuck his hands into his pockets. 

 

"Nothing. Never mind," he muttered. He'd already gotten the sneak preview of just what might be going on upstairs from Harmony and wasn't sure that he wanted to be barging in on that sort of thing uninvited. Or invited, for that matter. 

 

Vampires could get awfully protective when it came to family ties, and this family was trickier to untangle than a Gordian knot. He watched in defeated resignation as Eve punched the button for the elevator, trying to ignore the unsettling feeling that his thoughts were being listened to. 

 

And that the listener was finding them more than a little bit entertaining. 

 

 

* * * * * *

 

 

_Tinker, tailor, soldier, sailor..._

 

Everyone was here for the birthday, Drusilla noted, watching from the boardroom as the ragtag army shuffled into the metal lift that would take them up into the sky. Up to the end of the world. She would have to wait her turn to be gobbled up by the elevator. In all the excitement, she didn't think they would be very pleased to see her. Not yet. 

 

_Rich man, poor man, beggar-man..._

 

The demon with his emotions pouring off him like a cloak didn't want to go into the elevator, but they didn't listen to his pleas. He was clever, like she was. He'd taken a guess and seen the answer to be bloodshed. 

 

"Shh..." she murmured into his mind, "It's not always terrible." 

 

Peeking around the corner to see if it was her turn yet, Drusilla's eyes locked on the lady with the strawberry blonde hair as the elevator doors slid shut and a cold shudder went through her. 

 

_Thief._

 

 

* * * * * *


	38. Chapter 36  Death Song

  
Author's notes: The gang head up to Angel's penthouse while Angel, Lindsey and Spike prepare for an unexpected visitor.  


* * *

"Look, Lorne, you don't understand," Gunn exclaimed, the tone in his voice one of irritation mixed with a healthy dose of fear. "If Angel's really gone bad, then we can't just do nothing, Wolfram and Hart or no Wolfram and Hart. I made him a promise a long time ago and I'll stake him if I have to."

 

"Oh, would you now?" Lorne replied, his eyes narrowing as he contemplated Gunn. So pronounced were the emotions radiating off him that the empath demon could have read him from a mile off. In the close confines of the elevator, with all the other's auras screaming at him, Lorne was beginning to feel nauseated. "Then why didn't you do it earlier, when you had the chance and surprise on your side?"

 

"Because I thought you guys needed to know what was going on and Lindsey seemed safe enough," Gunn said, his chin tilting upward almost as if he'd taken a physical blow from Lorne's question.

 

A short, sharp laugh sounded from behind Wesley and everyone turned to look at Fred. Arms crossed and leaning against the back wall of the private lift, she'd quietly been listening to the others while thinking her own thoughts. "Safe enough? God, Charles, you left Lindsey upstairs with that...that thing that threatened to rape me to death last year. Why would you do that?"

 

"An excellent question," Wesley said, one eyebrow lifting as he turned back to look at Gunn, his mind rapidly going over the events of the day and what possible motives Gunn would have had for his lack of action. "It would be awfully convenient for you if Lindsey was out of the picture, wouldn't it?"

 

"It wasn't like that!" Gunn replied. "You didn't hear them, you don't know..."

 

"Uhhhh!" Eve groaned, pushing past Lorne in the small space. "That doesn't matter now, people. We need to get Lindsey away from him before something even worse happens."

 

"Afraid that's going to be easier said than done, Eve," Lorne stated, sighing as the sounds of the elevator heralded the end of the short journey to the penthouse suite. "Walking in there with crossbows half-cocked intending to separate a master vampire from his family is probably the last thing we should be doing, like I tried to tell you all downstairs. And Lindsey isn't just family to Angel...Angelus...whoever. Don't you remember what he was like when Darla was around?"

 

The sound of silence greeted his question as the upward mobility ground to a halt and the doors of the private elevator quietly slid open.

 

*

 

Lindsey shivered between the two of them as the unearthly sound of Angel's voice faded and he drew in a deep breath as a warm cocoon of satiation flooded his body despite the trembling of it. Sleepy eyelids cracked open to peer down at Spike as Angel licked the punctures at the side of his neck in a lazy fashion. Lindsey leaned his head back into the touch of his lover as Angel's hands gently moved along his hips.

 

He breathed out a low, pained hiss at the subtle shift of bodies as he slid out of Spike and Angel withdrew from him, followed by a softer sound at Spike's hand drawing down the sweat-damp sheen on his arm, the light touch ghosting right over the tattoo.

 

Spike's eyebrows lifted slightly as Angel circled his arm around Lindsey, pulling him back even more and the younger vampire's voice was still a bit raw and edgy as he said, "Hey, it didn't burn this time."

 

"Didn't expect it to," Lindsey replied, lips tilting in a crooked half-smile as he reached a hand down, fingertips lightly tracing the crude facsimile of the cross now embedded into Spike's skin. "This does, though, doesn't it?"

 

"Yeah," Spike said, lifting his hand to cover Lindsey's, pressing it to the insistent itch under the soft touch, eyes flickering over to capture Angel's as the ink worked its will on his body and his skin crawled with sensation. He wasn't sure if he was pissed at the cruelty of what Angelus had done or thankful that he'd have a reminder of this encounter for the rest of his existence.

 

Angel pressed a kiss against the warmth of the healing skin under his mouth, shifted behind his mortal lover and reached out with his free hand to brush theirs aside, the tips of his fingers growing warm as they traced the lines of the freshly applied design. A fleeting image of Penn flashed within his mind and Angel knew that Angelus had cut that symbol into Spike for many reasons.

 

But for Angel, it served as a twisted sort of judgment. Not only for the way his Puritan fledgling had died, but also for the way Darla had. For James, for Elizabeth, for Lawson, even for the Master. It was a brand to remind Angel that he had committed wrongs against his own family, acts that his inner demon never would have. And Angel felt that it was also a warning, one that he planned to heed, if he could, because he'd never had so much to lose before.

 

His palm spread flat over the pattern painted on Spike's chest in ink and magic and Lindsey held his breath as tendrils of misty smoke rose from the contact between the vampires. Angel lifted his gaze to find Spike's eyes still held on him and he was overwhelmed with a compulsion that he didn't quite understand, one he felt helpless to fight so he didn't even try.

 

"I'm sorry, Spike," Angel said and even if he wasn't exactly sure what he was apologizing for, it was something he felt the need to say.

 

Spike rolled his eyes. "Nothin' to be sorry for, you big poof," he replied with all the disdain he could muster as he struggled to hide how much what Angel had just done and said meant to him.

 

Elbows digging into the mattress underneath them as he scooted back and Angel's hand fell away from him as he sat up. Fingers closing on the rucked up sheets and he absently wiped away traces of what had just passed as he grinned at Lindsey. "He's so bloody melodramatic."

 

"Mmm, that's my Angel," Lindsey replied, head falling back with a smile tilting his lips as Angel leaned down to press another kiss to the healing wound on his throat. "The one and only. It's been...forever."

 

Pausing as he slid to the edge of the bed as Lindsey's words struck a resonating cord within him and one of Spike's eyebrows lifted as he contemplated the tableau of the couple before him."It hasn't even been five minutes yet, Gingersnap."

 

"Shhh," Lindsey whispered, a crease of annoyance marring his forehead, his eyes blue fire as they slit half-open to peer at Spike. "Grrrruff! Bad dog."

 

Angel laughed softly at the teasingly uttered words as he nuzzled his way up the side of Lindsey's throat but Spike froze at the sound of them, the intangible thing that had been a shadowy presence in the back of his mind all day solidifying and eclipsing everything else.

 

For a few short seconds, Spike felt as if his heart had picked up a beat that was erratic before the twin emotions of fear and hope swept the forgotten sensation away, his voice soft in a question formed of one word. "Lindsey?"

 

"Uh huh?" Lindsey answered on a deep exhale, his eyes once more drifting closed as Angel's hands roamed the tanned surface of his chest, the tips of his fingers digging into Angel's thighs as the older vampire expertly manipulated his nipples until Lindsey was all but writhing within his grasp.

 

Momentary doubt filled Spike as he silently watched prisms of light reflect off the sheen covering Lindsey's skin, his gaze traveling the length of the mortal boy's body, a virtual map of fingertip bruises and bites that should have left Lindsey weak from blood loss and yet hadn't. Instead, a fevered heat seemed to radiate from the boy, surrounding both vampires in the warmth they craved and Spike wished briefly that he had time to ask them if this had always been so or if it was a consequence of his connection with Angel.

 

But time was the one thing he thought they were running short of when Lindsey breathed out a sigh that sounded like the end of the world and said, "The lamb is caught in the blackberry patch."

 

Angel quite visibly flinched at those words, going as still as Spike was and he lifted his head to lock gazes with the younger vampire.

 

"Might wanna get dressed, Peaches," Spike said, pushing off the bed in sudden haste as he gathered up the clothing strewn around the room. "Company's coming."

 

*

 

Drusilla swept the hem of her long skirt away from the elevator doors as they slid shut and she smiled. She was ascending now, floating up to a new height (yes, very much like an angel, she was) and she wouldn’t be the only one. Not long now.

 

She knew that she was a wicked girl to peek into the future as she did. All the good children must wait until Christmas morning… but oh, such lovely presents!

 

The jolt and hiss of the elevator coming to rest made her giggle and she swayed slightly with anticipation. The party mustn’t start without her. She would bring the very best present of all.

 

The doors slid open and chaos greeted her.

 

*

 

“Why doesn't everybody just… calm down for a minute,” Angel tried for the third time, his placating tone almost entirely drowned out by Eve's mounting hysterics. As ridiculous as this was getting, he couldn't really blame her. From a third party point of view, he imagined that they did probably look a little scandalous. His shirt buttons were one off, Spike's hair was tousled beyond recognition and a painfully obvious (and obviously painful) love bite stood out stark on Lindsey's throat, just above what his collar could hide.

 

Angel refused to contemplate the state of his own hair. Frankly, he was just glad they'd gotten some clothing on by the time what seemed like his entire staff swarmed up to confront them.

 

He'd always fared better with one-on-one interactions where he had the chance to figure out what the other person was thinking. But when everybody came rushing at him at once like this… Fred's innocent confusion, Gunn's outright suspicion, Lorne's clear distress and Wesley hanging back, his expression unreadable… Angel actually found himself wanting to call for a retreat.

 

But Lindsey had stepped up beside him, shoulder to shoulder, a gesture that managed to be entirely pointless and comforting all at once. All hell was breaking loose, but he still had Lindsey. It would be fine once everybody calmed down.

 

“I can't believe you. I can't believe you!” Eve's voice got a little higher on each repetition. Seeing her flushed and wild-eyed like this, her fists clenched like she was ready to throw herself at somebody, Angel almost felt sorry for her.

 

Almost.

 

“I must've missed the part where this was your business,” Spike commented, cool and unflappable in spite of his thoroughly mussed state. (Angel knew from personal experience exactly how irritating that particular tactic of Spike's was, but watching Eve's lips curl into a vicious little sneer, he was grateful for it.)

 

“It is my business, you…”

 

“It's not, Eve,” Lindsey interrupted. Despite his low tone, Eve broke off whatever she'd been about to say to stare at him. “Not anymore. I'm sorry. I thought you understood that.”

 

“You're a bastard,” she replied, her voice high and grating, like cut glass being dragged across a blackboard and it sounded to them all as if she was choking on the words. Fred made a little noise and stepped forward to touch Eve's shoulder, but Eve jerked away violently. “Don't touch me! This is your fault!”

 

For a second it wasn't clear who she was addressing, as she whirled to grab at Gunn's jacket, provoking a startled “Whoa, hey!” And then she had a stake in her hand, and Angel had enough time to wonder (not for the first time) exactly what she was, because a regular human girl wouldn't move that fast… way too fast…and then there was no time to move, no time to think...there was only the sound of Lindsey's voice screaming No! as Angel felt himself being pushed aside amid the blur of movement as Eve rushed toward them.

 

Time suddenly felt as if it was folding in on itself as Angel stumbled and almost fell, his head filled with the rending noise of flesh being torn and the wet snap of bones breaking. Lindsey's forward momentum ground to a halt and the hot, coppery scent of his blood that already perfumed the air increased a hundred-fold. All this was followed by the harsh sound of air being drawn into the lungs of all those assembled and the sound was one of disbelief and horror. Time seemed to slow even more as Angel caught his balance to try to get to Lindsey, knowing that it was too late even as his fingers closed on shoulders that were broader than they used to be.

 

It was that moment that time chose to speed back up with a quality that felt both surreal and inevitable. There was a fine tremor to the skin underneath his hands as they got a solid grip on Lindsey and Angel had only spare seconds to recognize the mesmerizing, seductive whispering that was spoken so softly only preternatural senses could detect it, only seconds of time to notice his lover's fingers wrapped around the stake buried in his chest and the glazed, blank expression on Eve's face before the hands poised on either side of her head released the hold on it.

 

Eve's limp body fell to the floor at Lindsey's feet, revealing a softly smiling Drusilla, who reached out a hand to brush the back of her knuckles across the paling curve of Lindsey's cheek. "Happy birthday, brother," she said, her voice a quiet, reverent sound as the other hand lifted to grasp the smooth shaft of wood, her wrist turning the weapon even as she pulled it out with a swift, twisting motion.

 

Lindsey's eyes rolled back and he made a choked sound, a cross between a cough and a pained groan as he sagged back against Angel, his legs giving out, dragging both himself and the vampire to the floor. They were both aware of the noise that erupted around them as Angel reached out for the ball of black material tossed aside earlier in the night to press to the gaping hole to try and staunch the flow of blood exiting the wound. The smell of it was overpowering, and when Lindsey clumsily grabbed at Angel’s arm, his hand was dark with it.

 

“Please, don’t…” he gasped.

 

Angel could feel Lindsey’s life slipping away, even as he pressed desperately at the wound, so hard that he expected to hear bones snap. Please don’t what? Don’t let him die? Or don’t do the thing that Angel’s every instinct was screaming at him to do and to do now, before it was too late? The only thing that could save Lindsey’s life and Lindsey of all people knew exactly what a devil’s bargain that was.

 

Not a foot away, Drusilla crouched over Eve’s limp body, running her long nails delicately over the girl’s face as Spike stood by her side. “It was what Grandmum wanted,” Drusilla murmured. "She told him so, Daddy," and Angel could hear her perfectly, despite Fred’s shrieks of horror, Lorne's quiet weeping and Wesley’s continued yelling for someone to call an ambulance Now, God, quickly….

 

“No regrets, Angel,” Lindsey choked out, blood in his mouth, his terrified gaze locking onto Angel's and in his mind, the vampire heard the words that Lindsey had said earlier on this long day that seemed to have no end. When the time comes, I won't fail you, I promise. I'll be there. I'll be there for you....forever, Angel.

 

Lindsey’s hand fell away from Angel’s arm and his eyes went glassy. Angel felt a noise building in his throat… a roar, a scream…as the beat of Lindsey's heart began to stutter. "Fuck, Angel, do it now...before it's too late," Spike whispered and Angel morphed into his demonic mask, ignoring Gunn as he grabbed at his shoulders and Spike moved swiftly, striking from the side, barreling into Gunn, driving him away from the couple.

 

Angel gently tilted Lindsey’s head back, exposing his throat. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered as he lowered his head, fangs sinking into the mark plainly visible on Lindsey’s throat, his entire being attuned to the rushing sound of what blood remained in his lover's body, to the sound of his heart as it slowed to a faint pulse that was weak but still struggling.

 

Only then did he pull back, tugging at his shirt, sending buttons flying as the material parted. He quickly raked the tip of his thumbnail across his chest and a line of red followed the movement as flesh tore. Cradling Lindsey's head in one hand, Angel lifted him up to what would be his final mortal embrace. Eyes closed, his voice a soothing hum that coaxed Lindsey into rousing as his lips were pressed to the welling wound and Angel finger-combed Lindsey's hair as he drank and nothing in the world seemed more important to Angel in that moment than the faintly thumping heart held so close to his body.

 

While the others in the room were rendered silent by the swift turn of events, Drusilla's fingers tightened on the blood-dark stake she held as she raised it over Eve's chest, a small smile playing at about her lips, her head tilting as she watched and listened to the fading sound of Lindsey's mortality. Her aim was strong and true as the beat stopped and her hand plunged downward, sending the stake home.

 

Angel's hand tightened within the tangled strands of his lover's hair as images of Lindsey flashed through his mind at a rapid pace. His eyes were still shut and he continued humming quietly, a sound that was a combination of grief and comfort more than anything else as he breathed in the smell of humanity that would soon fade from the warmth of the body in his arms and he held onto that warmth, oblivious to his surroundings, letting himself feel regret for things that couldn't be changed for just a few short minutes now that the deed was done.

 

And those assembled, his friends, his co-workers, all of them his family, they let him grieve.

 

Spike untangled himself from atop Gunn and moved to sit beside Drusilla, silent in the presence of his grandsire's grief, eyes downcast because he couldn't bear to watch the intimate emotion and pain radiating from Angel. Spike could only listen and feel his own for a boy he had barely known and yet had loved the minute they met.

Drusilla let go of the stake protruding from Eve's chest and slipped her hand into one of Spike's, squeezing just a little to reassure her boy despite the faint tremble of fear she felt and Spike didn't know what to think but he was damn unsure what the return of his lover meant.

 

Fred turned to Lorne in distress, burying her face against his chest, crying silently as his arms circled her and he knew that the tears shed were for both Lindsey and Angel but that she was also weeping because Angel wasn't. He didn't bother hiding his own, although they were as silent as hers.

 

Gunn sat up from the sprawl where he'd landed, indignation and anger, disbelief and shock evident on his face and he wasn't sure which emotion was stronger but regret for his irrational behaviour and an impending sense of his own cupability in Lindsey's death were blooming within him.

 

Wesley alone stood stoic, watching Angel's movements, the ever-present Watcher within taking mental notes of every nuance of Lindsey's turning, a thing he had read about time without number but had never witnessed. And he remembered coming upon Angelus holding a very dead Lilah in an embrace that closely resembled the one the vampire was now engaged in and part of him was glad that Lindsey was dead. He hated thinking it, hated that part of himself but was unable not to acknowledge that pettiness, at least to himself, because there was also the knowledge that in other circumstances, he'd have done exactly what Lindsey had.

 

Angel held onto Lindsey until he felt the temperature of the body held so close to his own drop by the smallest degree and he tilted Lindsey's head back, gazed into empty eyes the color of a clear blue sky, thinking that he should be able to see Lindsey's soul leaving. Wishing that he could because he couldn't think of a more fitting penance for damning the soul of a man he had come to love more than perhaps he should have.

 

Yet there was nothing, just that emptiness in those eyes that had always looked at him with whatever emotion Lindsey had felt in any given moment. Shaky fingertips gently pressed the lids closed over that sightless gaze and Angel leaned in, pressed a kiss to Lindsey's forehead before lowering his body to rest on the floor and the guilt Angel was filled with took in the sight of it: the hideous wound still weeping dark blood on the shirt that was torn beyond repair, the lividity of the various bite marks marring the column of his throat, the pale tint to Lindsey's skin, the unnatural stillness of his chest, but what Angel focused on most of all was the entwined symbols on Lindsey's upper arm.


	39. Chapter 39  The Limits of Sight

  
Author's notes: by menomegirl & strangecreature  


* * *

Lorne's hands brushed across Fred's back in soothing motions as her weeping slowed, his gaze resting on Angel as his fingertips traced the lines of ink etched into Lindsey's arm. He allowed himself a few moments of luxury to remember Lindsey as he'd first known him. Fresh-faced and ambitious, eager for success, eyes brimming with keen intelligence, a voice soft and raw with unsuppressed emotion, so confident in his own abilities and heedless of the advice given to him.

 

It hadn't taken long for corruption to steal its way into Lindsey's soul and Lorne would shake his head in disappointment and sadness when his words fell on deaf ears every time the boy came to Caritas. The last time he'd heard Lindsey sing he'd sounded dead inside.

 

Now he truly was and Lorne blinked away tears to focus his talents on the fading remnants of Lindsey's aura, on the golden glow that had always seemed to surrounded him even when shot through with the often ugly spectrum of his emotions. That iridescence was still there, shimmering strongly and dimming in turns and the only color bleeding into the soft shine of it was coming off Angel as he continued his mindless humming.

 

The sight of it was eerie, reminding Lorne of the white-hot brightness of a light bulb just before it extinguished and it made his flesh crawl with unease, although he couldn't fathom why. He turned his head toward Drusilla at the sound of her high, childish, tinkling soft laughter and realized that he wasn't imagining it because she appeared to be seeing whatever was happening too.

 

Wesley had made his way over to the other side of the room so unobtrusively that Lorne didn’t even notice until he began speaking into the phone, his eyes never leaving Angel. “If you could send Janitorial up to Angel’s suite, please. And I’m afraid we require body bags as well.”

 

“One,” Spike called over, with a grim smile. “We’re only going to need one.”

 

"No," Drusilla said, her unfocused gaze clearing and settling on Eve's still form. Releasing the hold she had on the stake embedded in the downed girl's chest, she lifted her blood-streaked hand to brush back strands of honey-colored hair from Eve's forehead with a gentle touch that was at odds with the violence of her earlier actions. "Mustn’t throw the baby out with the bath water."

 

Wesley raised an eyebrow at that, but gave the order to cancel the body bags, setting the phone back in its cradle, an icy chill creeping up his spine when Drusilla slowly turned her head in his direction and smiled briefly before her attention shifted toward Lorne and Fred.

 

She didn't say anything aloud to the empath demon but nevertheless, Wesley thought he was witnessing a silent communication between them and to his watcher's eyes, it appeared as if the tension in the demon's body eased to such a degree that his breathing returned to normal.

 

Then her eyes flickered to Fred and her smile softened. "Little girl," she said, waiting patiently for Fred to lift her head from where it rested on Lorne's shoulder and to look at her. "You're the one in charge of all the experiments, aren't you?"

 

"Yes," Fred answered, sniffling as she wiped away the tears she'd shed. Drusilla nodded solemnly, slipped her hand into a hidden pocket with her dress and brought out a folded sheet of paper. She held it out toward Fred, who hesitated and then accepted it.

 

Her nose wrinkled in distaste at the smears of blood on it as she unfolded the heavy piece of parchment and her brows furrowed in confusion as she read what was written there. Then her eyes sharpened suddenly and she sat up straighter before looking back up.

 

"It must be done swiftly," Drusilla said. "Before the damage can heal. When you're done, burn and salt the earth. Do you understand, little one?"

 

"I think so," Fred replied. "I mean, we have all the equipment in the lab. Are you sure this'll work?"

 

"Oh, yes." Drusilla laughed, the sound of it still child-like and merry and the sound of it stirred Angel enough to lift his head. "The stars told me so."

 

 

*

 

They laid Lindsey’s body out on Angel’s bed and the wait began. Everyone stayed at first, shuffling in the small room, exchanging worried glances until Angel ordered them to leave. He tried to be as calm and reassuring as he could, despite the blood drying on his hands.

 

They drifted off in pairs after that, Lorne with Fred (now dry-eyed, but still shivering), Wesley with Gunn (heads together, speaking in low urgent tones), and finally Spike with Drusilla. Well, in theory.

 

The problem was that Drusilla didn’t seem to want to leave just yet, happily stroking the air over Lindsey’s ashen face and murmuring to herself. Angel didn’t have it in him to tell her twice and Spike was useless, still as smitten with her as ever and trying to hide it. Even with his thoughts so focused on Lindsey, the sight of Spike and Dru together again sent a rush of guilty nostalgia through Angel.

 

“Where will you go?” Angel asked.

 

Spike left off trying to coax Drusilla away, hooking his thumbs in his pockets. “Actually thought we might stick close for a while, if it’s all the same to you.”

 

“Curious?”

 

“Bit closer to ‘terrified’,” Spike admitted. “This feels all wrong, doesn’t it? Christ knows she can feel it. Something’s gone wrong with this one, Angel, and you know it.”

 

Angel shifted his stare back to Lindsey’s face, shaking his head but unable to deny it. "Maybe we should call Willow."

 

"Yeah and what are you going to say?" Spike replied, crossing his arms as he watched Dru sit beside Lindsey, her voice a low murmur that resembled Angel's earlier sounds. "You killed your lover and turned him, 'Gelus. That'll go over with them like a ton of bricks and it won't matter that you did it to save his life. They won't understand that."

 

"Buffy would." The quiet assurance in the tone of Angel's voice drew Spike's attention away from the pair on the bed and forced him to consider everything he knew of the woman they'd both loved. And not for the first time, he thought he knew her better than Angel did.

 

Lifting his gaze back up to Angel, taking a moment to look deeply into dark brown eyes that had haunted him more often than not and he saw both conviction and doubt there. "Maybe you're right," he said. "Are you willing to gamble Lindsey's life on it?"

 

A moment's pause and "No, I'm not," Angel replied, hands pushing into his pockets, his gaze drifting down toward his bare feet as if they were the most fascinating thing in the universe. "Guess you were right after all, Spike. It really was a devil's bargain I made when I agreed to take over this firm. I knew there would be consequences but I never thought it would be Lindsey who'd suffer them."

 

Spike swallowed down the 'I told you so' that wanted to come out, instead shaking his head. "You shouldn't take on the blame for this, Angel. Lindsey knew what he was walking into when he came back. It was only a matter of time and he knew it. You both did and it's done now- no use crying over spilt milk. We just need to..."

 

He broke off his musing to glance back at the bed, the strong smell of Drusilla's blood mixing with the heavy scent that already permeated the room. A small knife fell from her fingertips onto the carpet beside the bed and she held her bleeding arm over the gaping wound in Lindsey's chest, her lips moving in an almost silent chant as a small river flowed from her into him. "What kind of language is that? It sounds like gibberish to me."

 

"I'm not sure," Angel said, his forehead scrunched up as he struggled to make out the words in the low tone of Drusilla's voice and a part of him wasn't surprised that she was attempting to heal Lindsey, although he was past mortal recovery now. "Sounds like a combination of them to me." And it did-half a dozen that he knew, a few words he'd heard Wesley mutter in the midst of research, all eerily familiar and inhumanly foreign at the same time.

 

His gut tightened as deep foreboding swept over him as a circle of light began to surround the pair on the bed, the brightness gaining in strength with each second that passed. He heard Spike's "What the bleeding hell?" and more felt than saw his movement toward the bed. His arm shot out to stop the younger vampire, all the hair on his body goosing up as the air in the room became charged with energy. "No, Spike, don't. It might be dangerous to stop her. Something's happening. Can't you feel it?"


End file.
